by E. C. Bell
As Dr. Remington located the refrigerated drawer that held Karen’s body, I looked around for her ghost. But, she wasn’t there. She wasn’t there, anywhere.
Karen’s worst nightmare had apparently come true. Her body had been taken from the ball diamond but her ghost had not followed it. It was somewhere between the diamond and the medical examiner’s office, which meant I was going to have to do a painstaking grid search for her spirit.
What was I going to do?
SYLVIA STAYED WITH Dr. Remington to discuss timelines and such. James led me back to the car and helped me inside. I figured I must have looked pretty pathetic if he was acting that way, which ticked me off. Of course. Then he suggested that perhaps I needed to eat something, which set me off again.
“You’re hangry,” he said. “All the signs are there. I’m getting you a burger.”
“And then what?” I yelled. “How the hell am I going to find Karen’s ghost?”
“We’ll go back to the office and come up with a plan,” he said. “But first, food.”
He was right, of course. I was starving and wolfed down the burger. Didn’t even share with Millie, who had been patiently sitting in the back seat of the Volvo the whole time.
Me not sharing made her hangry, so James gave her a corner of his burger. A big deal, because he didn’t normally give that dog any people food past Tim Bits, but my guess was he’d decided he was not dealing with two hangry individuals at the same time.
Then, we headed back to the office to figure out what the hell to do next.
“We should use the big map of Edmonton that I have in my office,” James said. “We can pin it to the wall out in the reception area, and use highlighters to determine the grid pattern.” He put the key in the lock and turned it.
I was about to tell him just how ridiculous his paper map and highlighter plan was when I realized I could see light through the translucent glass of the door.
“Wait,” I said. “Someone’s in there.”
The light wavered and wafted, like a candle flame in a strong breeze.
“Open the door,” I said. “It’s a ghost!”
Karen:
So Much for the Guarantee
I STARTED YELLING as soon as Marie, her boyfriend, and his little dog walked over the threshold of the crappy run down offices of the Jimmy Lavall Detective Agency. “You guaranteed me I’d be able to stay at the diamond!” I yelled. “One hundred percent guarantee! Do you remember that?”
The dog barked once, hackles up, then hid behind the boyfriend, whining. Marie looked more than surprised.
“What’s going on?” the boyfriend asked.
“Karen’s here,” Marie said, staring at me. “And she’s pissed.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it,” the boyfriend said and scooped up his frightened little dog. “Are you in any danger?”
“No,” she replied.
“Then Millie and I will wait in my office,” he said. He walked through the door and closed it. Marie and I were alone.
“How did you get here?” she asked.
I could have told her about the nightmare ride in the back of the ambulance, with my dead body, to the medical examiner’s office. Screaming at the medical examiner as she puttered about, getting paperwork in order. Calming down enough to read the paperwork, and seeing Marie’s name down as person who had contacted the police about my body, with her work address and phone number written beneath. I could have explained about deciding to go to her instead of waiting for her to come to me. About not knowing if I could do it, but trying anyhow. Walking for hours, and feeling my body tugging at me, trying to pull me back to it, the whole time. Finally finding the crappy little office in the crappy part of downtown Edmonton and sitting down to wait. Clinging, with all my strength, to the place, so my body couldn’t pull me back to it. Waiting, for what seemed like weeks for her to finally show up. I didn’t tell her any of that.
“Where the hell have you been?” I yelled. “I’ve been waiting forever.”
Marie had the decency to look embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I was assured I’d be called before they exhumed you. I did not get that call.”
“You have a strange sense of what one hundred percent actually means,” I said. “You know?”
“I know,” she said. “And I’m sorry. I went to the diamond as soon as I heard. I honestly thought you’d stay there. You seemed so connected to the place.”
“I am,” I said. “At least I thought I was. But my body pulled me with it. I couldn’t break loose.”
Marie’s frown deepened. “So, why weren’t you stuck at the Medical Examiner’s office, then? That’s where your body is.”
“I don’t know!” I yelled. “Aren’t you the big expert? You tell me!”
“Maybe it has to do with belief,” Marie said. “You believed that if your body was removed from the diamond, you’d be compelled to go with it. So, that happened.”
“Are you trying to say that this is my fault?” I cried.
“No,” she said. Then she shrugged. “Well, yeah. But when you ended up at the Medical Examiner’s office, you were compelled to find me. Probably because you were angry with me.”
“Angry doesn’t quite describe it,” I said.
“Duly noted,” she said. “However, you managed. To find me, I mean.”
“I can still feel the pull,” I said. “I feel like I have to concentrate hard, or I’ll bounce back there.” I pointed to a softball Marie had sitting on her desk. “I found that concentrating on that helped.”
Marie picked up the ball and stared at it. Then looked at me. “What does it represent, to you?”
“It represents softball,” I said. “Of course. So?”
“And you love softball, right?”
“Right.”
“Above everything else.”
“Yes.” I frowned and thought through what she had just said. “So, you’re saying that I am using this softball to keep me here?”
“Yes,” she said, and smiled. “Like an anchor. That was clever of you.”
“Well, thanks. But I don’t want to be stuck here, now.” I pointed at the ball. “Because of that. I want to get back to the ball diamond.”
Marie frowned. “If you could find this office, you should have been able to find the ball diamond,” she said. “Why didn’t you just go there?”
I stared at her. “I don’t know where it is.”
She snorted. “What do you mean, you don’t know where it is?” she asked. “You’ve been there for over forty years.”
“But I never left before,” I said. “I had no idea where the diamond is, in the city. And even if I’d known where it was, I would imagine that the city has changed somewhat in forty years.”
Marie nodded.
“So, that’s why I didn’t even try,” I said. “I was waiting for you.”
“I think I’ll be able to take you there,” Marie said. “And we might be able to use the ball the same way when we get you back there.”
“How?” I asked.
“I’ll take it—and you—back,” she said. “I’ll bury it there, somewhere. So it will anchor you to the place.”
She pointed at the closed door of the inner office. “Do you mind if I let James know everything’s okay?” she asked. “He’ll be worried.”
“All right.”
She walked to the door and knocked. “Karen’s calmed down,” she said. “Why don’t you come out here so we can plan next steps?”
James didn’t answer, and Marie frowned. Knocked again, harder this time.
“James!” she called. “Come on out.”
There was still no answer, and she snarled, “What the hell,” and threw the door open. James was on his little mobile phone and he held his finger to his lips, begging Marie for quiet. Then he pushed a button on the face of the phone and placed it on the desk top.
“Can you repeat, Andy?” he said. “I missed that.”
And then, Andre
w Westwood’s voice crackled and sprang to life all around me.
“You gotta get a new phone,” he laughed. “That thing is a piece of crap. I told you, I can get you a real deal—”
“I like this phone,” James said, all the while signalling to Marie to keep quiet, please keep quiet. “But what did you ask me before it cut out?”
“I asked if you heard anything about Diamond Two,” he said. “The cops dug it up. Do you know what they were looking for? What they found?”
I stared at Marie, who was staring at the phone on the desk.
“Why is he calling you?” I asked. My voice sounded weak, like somehow all my strength had sucked from me. “I told you not to talk to him.”
Marie turned and shook her head. She couldn’t speak. If she did, Andrew would hear her. Would know she was in the room with James.
“I didn’t know that happened,” James said. He leaned over the small mobile phone and didn’t see Marie frantically shaking her head at me. Didn’t even realize there might be a problem brewing. “We were at Provincials. Just got back. You don’t know what the cops were looking for? Good grief. How badly dug up is the diamond? Are the girls going to be able to keep playing?”
“No clue,” Andrew said. I could hear that he was trying desperately to keep his voice light. Like he didn’t have a care in the world. “Provincials. I forgot. How did Jolene do?”
“Knocked out in the semis,” James said. He’d looked up and saw that Marie was in distress. Looked around the room like he was trying to see me. When the little dog started whining he picked her up and held her in one arm as he gestured frantically at Marie with the other.
What’s going on? He gestured.
Karen’s losing it, Marie gestured back.
I’m not losing it, I thought. Not yet.
“Tell him to quit talking to Andrew,” I said aloud. “Or I’ll start screaming and I won’t stop. Might not bother him, but I’m thinking you and the dog will hate it.”
Marie turned to James and gestured frantically but before James could respond, Andrew spoke again.
“Wouldn’t doubt it,” he said. “That Greg is not a great coach. I warned you about him. Marie’s really starting to come around. You should get her involved with another team. Maybe the Blues. There’s a winner—”
“Screw you, Andrew!” I yelled, and then I was standing beside James, swiping at the little mobile phone on the desk. On the second swipe I connected, and the phone bounded to the floor.
Unfortunately, I didn’t wreck the thing.
“What’s going on?” Andrew asked, as the phone bounced and clattered across the floor.
“Jesus,” James said. Ran over and picked it up. “Sorry about that,” he said. “I dropped my phone. Listen, I’ve got another call. I’ll call you back.”
“Don’t bother,” Andy said. “I’ll call you.”
Before James could answer, Andrew disconnected. James set the phone back on the desk and then glared at Marie.
“Tell me what is going on. Right now.”
Marie didn’t look at him, though. She looked right at me. “It appears Karen has learned how to move things in the physical world,” she said.
“So, we’re dealing with a poltergeist?” James asked.
“Apparently,” Marie said.
Neither of them looked too happy at the prospect, but I didn’t care. Personally, I was thrilled. I’d moved that phone a long way. A long way.
Imagine what I could do to Andrew, the next time I saw him. “You gotta get me back to the diamond,” I said. “As soon as possible.”
“We can’t do that,” Marie said. “The cops have it blocked off. No one in or out.”
“Well, then what are you going to do?” I asked. “I gotta get back.”
I thought about Andrew, and about my newfound ability. Thought of touching him the way I’d touched that phone. Pushing and prodding him, harder and harder. Inside and out, until I’d beaten him raw. Then giving him one more big push, right off the top of the bleachers. Maybe even to his death. After all, turnabout is fair play, isn’t it?
“How did you learn to do that?” Marie asked, pointing at the phone.
“From Rita,” I said.
“Looks like Rita taught that trick to more than you,” Marie said. “I ran into some of your team mates when we tried to go to the diamond earlier this evening. They pushed me around, too.”
James looked shocked. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.
“Didn’t want you to worry,” she said shortly, her eyes still on me. “Did Rita teach everybody that trick?”
“Maybe,” I said.
“Why? Why did she teach you all how to manipulate things in the living world?” She pointed at the phone. “Is it because of Andy? Are you planning on doing something to Andy? Have you convinced your team to help you?”
I couldn’t look at her. She sighed and shook her head. “Of course,” she said. “That’s the reason you didn’t tell me about him. About what he did. You’re planning on getting revenge.”
“I never said that,” I said.
“You can’t do this, Karen,” she said. “Revenge isn’t the answer. It really isn’t.”
I shrugged. “All right,” I said, offhandedly. “I won’t do anything—to anyone.”
“I don’t believe you,” Marie said.
“Oh, I can guarantee it,” I said. “One hundred percent.”
Marie closed her eyes and sighed then opened them and glared at me, but all I did was shrug. She was wrong. Sometimes revenge was the answer. The only answer.
Marie turned away from me and back to James. “Call Sylvia Worth,” she said. “And convince her to get us on the diamond as soon as possible.”
James nodded, picked up the real phone sitting on his desk, and was soon deep in conversation. He put his hand to the receiver and looked at Marie.
“Tomorrow morning early enough?” he asked.
“Tonight would be better,” I said.
“Tonight would be better,” Marie said at the same time, and then glared at me.
James spoke into the phone again, then shook his head. “Tomorrow morning is as good as she can do,” he said.
“Great,” I said, disappointed. “What am I supposed to do until tomorrow? Sit here by myself? Again?”
“I’ll stay with you,” Marie said “Here, at the office.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” James said. “What if she does something to you?”
He was talking about me. He thought I was going to do something to Marie.
“She won’t hurt me,” Marie said. “Will you, Karen?”
I nodded. Just as long as she took me to the diamond, I had no reason to hurt her.
“And the cot’s still here,” Marie said. “If you bring me a change of clothes, I’ll be fine.”
“I can do that,” James said. “If you’re absolutely sure.”
“I am,” she said. “Absolutely.”
THE DAY WORE on. I watched Marie and James work and tried to be patient. It felt like I’d been stuck at the office forever. I missed the diamond. I really did.
Marie and I talked for a bit after James finally left. Well, Marie talked. I listened and fumed.
She was trying to convince me that I was past things like revenge. That if I did what I was planning, I could turn into something not even I would recognize.
“I’m afraid that if you take revenge on Andy, you’ll find others who you believe deserve revenge,” she said as she pulled the small cot out of the closet and opened it.
I thought about some of the other women I played ball with. The ones who had been murdered, too. Marie was probably right. If they saw that I got the satisfaction of hurting Andrew—possibly to death—for what he’d done to me, I would imagine that they’d want the same thing.
But what would be so bad about that?
“You could get into the habit of seeking vengeance,” Marie continued. “Which would make things diffi
cult for you—and the other spirits that you help hurt the living.”
“How could it hurt me?” I asked. “It actually sounds like a great way to spend my time. When I’m not playing ball, that is.”
“One day you’ll decide to move on,” Marie said. “And at that time, you have to make peace with everything you’ve ever done. Living or dead.”
I blinked.
“Being a revenging spirit is a pretty nasty thing to deal with.”
“What if I decide never to move on,” I said. “After all, I’ve been here forty years—”
“I’d be afraid that someday you won’t have a choice. You could fade away so much that not even other spirits can see you. You’d disappear, again. I’d like to make sure that doesn’t happen.” She stared at me. “Don’t you think you’ve suffered enough?”
“But he has to pay,” I whispered. “Why can’t you understand that?”
“I do understand,” she said. “But it isn’t up to you to make him pay. Not any longer.”
WHEN MARIE FINALLY went to sleep, I sat at the window, staring out into the street in front of the office. It was empty, but I was certain it would soon fill with the living, all going about their days. Living their lives.
That depressed me more than all the years of standing on the ball diamond. There, at least, I wasn’t surrounded by the living all the time. Pressing on me, reminding me of what I’d missed. What I no longer had. Staring out Marie’s office window, I was reminded of all that, and more.
I never got to go to Italy, or France. Or Columbia. I never got to learn how to roast coffee. I never got to live my life.
“Andrew got to live his,” I muttered. “After he took mine. And that’s not fair. He has to pay, no matter what Marie says.”
Marie:
Back to Diamond Two
THREE HOURS AFTER I’d finally fallen asleep, another stupid nightmare jerked me awake. I was looking for my mother and I couldn’t find her. I was running through the streets of Fort McMurray, calling for her, but she didn’t answer me. All I could hear were ghosts, calling my name. More and more of them, all calling my name.
