by Ashley
Mecca smiled as Leena took him for a walk out of the back entrance. She had most definitely changed for the better. She was a bit wiser, more cautious, and definitely more street savvy than he remembered. Her time around Estes had not gone by in vain.
When they were finally out in the alley, Leena asked, “What do you want?”
The gun was still pointed in Mecca’s back as he replied, “I’m going to turn around now.” He chuckled at the irony of the situation and continued. “Whatever you do, don’t shoot.”
Leena’s hand trembled, yet her eyes were determined and revealed to Mecca that she would protect herself if he gave her a reason to. When he was fully facing her, he said, “Is this Money’s son?” He already knew the answer to his question, but he needed to hear her confirm it.
He could see a sense of pride and also shame wash over her face as she answered, “Yes.”
Mecca smiled at the sight of his nephew. “What happened, Lee?” he asked, calling her by a nickname that only he used. “How did everything get so fucked up?”
Leena steadied her aim as she answered, “I was in love with two brothers. Money and I never meant to hurt you, Mecca.”
“He was my brother. How could you fuck with him, Leena? How could he fuck with you? He knew how I felt about you,” Mecca whispered.
Leena’s eyes widened in disbelief. “How you felt about me, Mecca?” she shrieked. “I didn’t even think you were capable of feeling. You wanted Money to see a love that didn’t exist.”
“You can really stand there and say you didn’t love me?” Mecca stated angrily.
“You know I loved you, Mecca… but you were the one who never showed it back. Why would Money, or Breeze, or anyone else for that matter know that you loved me? I didn’t even know! All you did was ho me, Mecca. You fucked around with this bitch and that bitch, all the while wanting me to stay faithful to you.” Utter confusion spread over her face and she stared at him as if everything was his fault.
“Those other bitches didn’t mean shit to me, Leena! You knew that! I’m a Diamond.”
Leena rolled her eyes at his arrogance and lowered the gun as she dropped it on the ground in disgust, unable to let him finish his sentence. “Yeah, I know you’re a Diamond, Mecca. Me and everybody else in Miami knows! That still doesn’t give you the right to behave the way you do. It didn’t make how you used to treat me hurt any less.” She shook her head back and forth. “You know what? I don’t even know why we’re standing here doing this,” she said as she began to turn away. Mecca grabbed her arm to stop her from leaving.
“Leena, I didn’t always know how to show it, but I did love you. You were the one I broke bread with. You were the only woman I trusted. You knew everything… what I did, where I slept, the combination to the safe. It may have been a fucked up way to love. Shit wasn’t sweet or on no lovey-dovey type shit, but it was the only way I knew how to show it,” Mecca revealed. “I’ve never been like Monroe.”
“I never asked you to be.” Leena stopped him. “But when things got really bad, I began to notice how gentle Monroe was, how patient and loyal he was, and I got caught up. I fell for him. I know that it was wrong, and I knew all along that it would hurt you, but as much as you had hurt me, I did not care. I just wanted to be happy.”
“All the bitches in Miami, and Money had to choose mine,” Mecca stated callously.
“I think you should know that Money loved you. He loved you so much that he was going to cut everything off with me. The night you caught us, he told me that he would never be with me,” Leena admitted.
Hearing this caused Mecca’s eyes to become misty as he tried to control his emotions. “I killed him, Lee,” Mecca said aloud for the first time as he broke down. There was no reason to lie to her. She had been there. She was the only person in the world who truly knew every aspect of the truth. He hit the concrete wall with his fist.
“You did,” Leena replied. Although her heart ached for him, she held back. He did not deserve her sympathy. She could not allow Mecca to pull her back into his chaotic world. Her life was centered, healthy, safe, and nothing but danger dwelled around him.
“I’m sorry, ma. I’m sorry for everything,” he finally said, conceding to the guilt that had been torturing him from the very beginning. He did not know what the hell was happening to him, but he did know that the lifestyle he led was slowly becoming harder to maintain. Everything had been so much easier when he had his family behind him. When his father, brother, mother, and sister were alive, he had something to go to war over. He had things to kill for. But now that they all were gone, Mecca felt empty.
“I’m not the person who can forgive you, Mecca. You have filled your life with so much bad that you have no room left for the good,” Leena whispered. “God is the only one who can take the burden away, the guilt. You need to talk to Him.”
Mecca nodded his head and gripped the bridge of his nose as he nodded toward his nephew. “Can I hold him?” he asked.
Reluctantly, Leena handed her son to his uncle. The Diamond familial connection was so strong that the little boy instantly took to Mecca. Her eyes filled as she watched her son wrap his arms around Mecca’s neck.
“What’s good, li’l man?” Mecca greeted as he hugged Monroe Jr. Everything about the little boy reminded him of his late twin. “I owe you the world,” he said as he kissed the little boy on the forehead and handed him over to Leena.
Memories of his childhood years with his brother flooded him. It was as if he were staring directly at the past when he looked at Leena’s son.
As he began to walk away, one more question nagged at him. He stopped and said, “One more thing. How long have you been living with Estes?”
“Since the day that you shot me,” she responded.
Tension filled the space between them as they both recalled that fateful day, and although Mecca had no right to ask, he had to get one more thing off of his chest.
“Are you fucking him?” His tone was not demanding or angry. It was just something he needed to know.
Leena wanted to tell Mecca that it was none of his business, that he was no longer entitled to know who she chose to become intimate with, but she did not. A part of her-the part that felt guilty for sleeping with Monroe, the part that felt guilty for having his brother’s child, the part of her that hated the sad look in Mecca’s eyes-this part of her allowed her to answer.
“No, Mecca. I’m not sleeping with Estes. He says that he loves me, but I don’t know if I can give it back,” Leena replied.
Relief washed over Mecca, and he said, “I want to see you again, and I want to get to know Money’s son. I know I have no right to ask, but-”
“Estes will kill you, Mecca. He isn’t making idle threats. If he even thinks you are around Money’s son…” Leena objected. Estes was not her only concern; simply the only one that she voiced.
“I don’t care. I have a lot to make up for, Leena. I don’t owe Estes shit, but I owe Monroe everything. If you don’t want me around, then I’ll leave without looking back, but nobody else will stop me from getting to know my brother’s son. I’m trying to make things right,” he stated sincerely.
“This is all too much for me right now. I love my son, Mecca, and I’m not going to lie; I don’t trust you.” Leena opened the back door to the bistro. “I’ll think about it. Just give me a little bit of time.”
Chapter Ten
“I’m not one of God’s children, because I’m too much like the devil.”
– Mecca
Carter embraced Garza and patted the old man on the back as they said their final good-byes. It was the inevitable day that they both had orchestrated, and now Carter was leaving with his freedom, while Garza would be left behind.
“Enjoy those cigarettes, old man,” Carter joked as he pointed to the boxes that Garza had stacked up in the corner, courtesy of Carter.
“Visit the priest for me. Make sure you give him what he has coming to him, and please ensur
e that my name is the last one he hears,” Garza replied in a low tone.
Carter nodded, letting Garza know that no further words needed to be spoken.
The tier of prisoners erupted in loud, boisterous cheers as Carter made his last walk down their halls. They were giving him praise for beating his case. Carter took it all in stride, never appearing arrogant, and simply making his exit.
Carter emerged from the prison gates with a luxury Lincoln town car awaiting him. Mecca emerged from the back of the car, and the usual tension that dwelled between the halfbrothers was non-existent in this moment. Mecca was genuinely happy to see Carter free, because he knew that Carter was the only one who could reorganize The Cartel. Things would be business as usual under Carter’s reign.
“Good to see you, boy,” Mecca stated.
Carter slapped hands with Mecca and then embraced him tightly. “It’s good to see you too, fam. Real good,” Carter replied as he stepped inside of the car.
Carter gave the driver Miamor’s address. Now that his freedom had been reestablished, hers was the only company he wanted to keep upon his first night home. Her absence from his life had been slowly driving him insane.
He had sent Zyir by her place a few times, only to be told that she never answered the door and was nowhere to be found. He wanted to find out for himself, because he knew Miamor well. It was not in her character to leave him on stuck when he needed her most.
With the Garza Cartel connection being secured by Zyir, he knew that all of the pieces of his life were about to realign. She was the only thing missing. The center of his puzzle was lost and he had to find it, because without her, everything would be for nothing.
Mecca rode silently as he looked out of the window. The sooner this ol’ lovesick nigga get over this bitch, the easier it’s gon’ be on him. Ain’t no coming back from the place I sent her, he thought. A part of him just wanted to tell Carter the truth, but he knew that it would only complicate things. So, he allowed Carter to go on the dummy mission of searching for a girl he would never find.
“I had Zyir looking for Miamor while I was locked up. He said you told him she had skipped town,” Carter said as they pulled up to Miamor’s high-rise building.
“That’s what I heard. The bitch is bad news, bro. The way you were wife’n her before you went in, she should have been the one by your side through it all. She didn’t stand tall, my nigga. Before the ink on the indictment papers dried, she got ghost on you. Fuck her, fam. It ain’t worth the headache. You’re out, and it’s time to move forward.”
Mecca’s advice would have resounded loud and clear if had been any other woman besides Miamor, but she was like an infection of the heart. Letting go would not be so easy.
Knowing that Mecca was too callous to understand the connection he shared with Miamor, he changed the subject. “When Zyir arrives, it’s back to business. Until then, I’m going to lay low and get my mind right. I have a couple of loose ends to clip before the shipment arrives,” he said.
Mecca nodded. “Your car will be delivered tomorrow morning.”
Carter exited the car and made his way up to Miamor’s condo. Although he had a key to her place, he knocked politely, not wanting to intrude. When he didn’t get an answer, he opened the door anyway and stepped inside. He immediately knew that she had not been there lately. The smell of rotting food permeated through the condo, and she had twenty new messages on her answering machine. As he moved through the apartment, his suspicions arose.
Where are you, ma? he asked as he inventoried her bedroom. Her closets and dressers were still filled with clothes. He knew that she didn’t leave town, because she would never leave her possessions behind. As he collapsed onto her bed, his gut twisted in premonition. He had a feeling that her disappearance was not coincidental, and he was determined to find out exactly where she had gone.
But first, he had a message to deliver. Josiah Garza was about to reach out from behind the prison walls and seek vengeance for an unspeakable crime committed against him many years ago.
Leena’s words haunted Mecca: God is the only one who can take the burden away, the guilt. You need to talk to Him.
He knew that she was right. He had never been a religious man, but the crimes that he had committed against his own family were torturing him. If there really is a God, I need Him to take the pain away, Mecca thought.
Although he had no regrets about killing Miamor, he did hate himself because he knew that by doing so, he had taken away someone who had meant the world to his brother. Carter was all he had left, and he feared that if the truth were ever revealed, he would have no one. For the first time in his life, Mecca felt remorse for things that he had done that hurt other people.
Even he had to admit that if he had not murdered Miamor’s sister, then she would have never come after his family. He had lived his life recklessly, without regard for others. Any way he tried to spin the situation, everything, all of the chaos and misery, led back to him. He had been the spark of it all. Mecca was the root of all evil. Bullets had been the answer to all of his problems, and now all of the lives he had taken were coming back to haunt him. He could barely sleep at night because he was afraid to close his eyes. If he could make amends, he would, but there was no reversing the things he had done.
As he sat in front of the Catholic Church, he knew that there was only one thing left to do: give his burdens to God and hope that his soul was capable of being cleansed. He wasn’t a Catholic, but knew that he could never confess his wrongdoings to a black minister. His business would travel through Miami’s gossip grapevine for sure. So, he chose a place where he could be low key. Confessing to a white man in a white church, he was confident that the conversation would go no further than the four walls of the cathedral.
As he stepped out of the car, he felt his gun on his hip. As many people as he had murdered, it would be foolish to leave it behind. But he removed it from his waistline anyway and placed it beneath his car seat. Despite the fact that his conscience screamed for him to stay strapped, he did not want to carry the weapon inside of the church. He took a deep breath as he headed for the entrance, feeling as though his judgment day had arrived.
Carter walked side by side with the priest of St. Jude Catholic Church as he explained the concept of forgiveness and redemption. Carter had spent the past hour speaking with the old man at the request of Garza. Garza wanted to know if the priest displayed any remorse for the children he had betrayed in his past, and Carter followed his directions precisely. He was given specific instructions: “If the priest shows remorse, kill him quickly. If not, then a slow death will be better suited,” Garza had said.
“Have you ever done something that you are not proud of, Father?” Carter asked as they sat down near the front of the church.
“Son, no man is without sin. There are things that I have done in my past that God will hold me accountable for,” the priest replied as he became slightly emotional. “Some things that I have done I can never take back.”
“Father, I’m here to hold you accountable for those actions,” Carter stated in a low, serious tone. “Josiah Garza sent me.”
The old white man’s eyes widened in paralyzing fear as he allowed the emotion in his eyes to fall down his wrinkled cheeks. He knew exactly who Carter spoke of, and his mind flashed back to the acts of molestation he had committed against Garza when he was only a small boy. It was then that he realized that today would be his last day on this earth. The priest began to weep as he leaned forward, resting his head on Carter’s shoulder.
Carter didn’t speak as he closed his eyes. He removed his.38 pistol from the jacket of his Brooks Brothers suit and placed the barrel directly against the priest’s chest. He allowed the old man to weep on his shoulder as he pulled the trigger, sending a bullet piercing through his heart.
“Forgive me, Father,” Carter whispered.
Even the dull sound of the silenced bullet echoed slightly against the walls of the cathedral
. Carter caught the old man’s body as gravity took it to the floor, and he laid him down to rest behind one of the church pews. The old man’s eyes stared up into space, and Carter closed them. It wasn’t a task that Carter had wanted to do, but he had given his word. The old man had it coming to him for all of the abuse he had inflicted on the young boys of his parish over the years.
The clanking sound of the doors opening startled Carter.
“Fuck,” he whispered, knowing that he could never make it to the back door without being seen. He made sure that the priest’s body was out of sight, and then slid into the confessional. He hoped that the intruder would come and go quickly, without throwing a wrench in his program. He had planned to execute the priest quietly, without interruption. Carter did not want to have to hurt an innocent bystander for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The tension in his body was so high that he could hear his own heartbeat.
The other side of the confessional opened and Carter prepared himself to take another life. He saw the shadow of a man sit across from him on the other side of the lattice. Carter pointed the gun to the center of the shadow’s face, but the voice that he heard come from the other side stopped him from shooting. He froze as he listened to a confession that he was never meant to hear.
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” Mecca stated. “I don’t know how this usually works, but I’m just gonna speak my piece. I feel like this is the only place where I can admit the truth without being judged. I know I’m not a good man. I’ve known it all along… ever since I was a kid. There was always something evil living inside of me, but I kept it dormant for a long time, until the day I killed my twin brother. I have a lot of blood on my hands, Father, but the blood of my brother I can’t seem to wash away. It’s like I see it on my hands all day.” Mecca lowered his head into his hands. Even admitting his sins behind the protection of anonymity was hard.
