by Meg Cabot
5:15 PM
You spent ALL DAY WITH HER. Give the poor girl time to miss you.
Reed
5:15 PM
I meant Rhonda’s baked chicken. Oh, and Rhonda. I’m going over to say hi.
And also ask her how she found out about Richard and Connie losing all their scratch.
Marshall
5:15 PM
Stop talking about them as if they were characters out of the movie *Barfly*.
And Carly is insisting we be seen eating together as a family. Do not fill up on chicken without us.
Reed
5:15 PM
Do you not remember how much of Rhonda’s chicken I can consume?
Marshall
5:15 PM
Oh, right. Please save some for the rest of us.
And don’t abandon me to the bouncy castle!
Becky F
5:28 PM
Where are you?
Nicole F
5:28 PM
I’m getting my face painted. What should I be, Ninja Warrior Fairy Princess or Unicorn Dragon Lady?
Becky F
5:28 PM
Neither. You should come help me at Mom’s Blessie Stick booth. We’re under siege.
Nicole F
5:28 PM
I thought you said you weren’t going to let her put any sticks in your car.
Becky F
5:28 PM
I didn’t. I got here and the booth is right as you walk in and she was being flooded by customers. How could you not have seen it?
Nicole F
5:28 PM
Maybe I did and ran to the face-painting booth to acquire my disguise.
Becky F
5:28 PM
It’s not that bad. All the proceeds are going to the Stewarts.
Nicole F
5:29 PM
It’s still pretty embarrassing.
Becky F
5:29 PM
That your mother, a widow, is making a small fortune off something she invented, handcrafts, and promotes herself? Now who’s embarrassing?
Stop being such a little baby and get over here. I haven’t had anything to eat since lunch.
Nicole F
5:29 PM
Fine, you’re right. I’m coming.
But take my advice and don’t go near the baked chicken.
Becky F
5:30 PM
Why, what’s wrong with it?
Nicole F
5:30 PM
Nothing, it’s amazing.
I just wouldn’t go near the table where it’s being served right now if you want to avoid a certain ex-boyfriend of yours.
Becky F
5:30 PM
Graham is here? That’s so weird, I thought he’d be at the boutique all night.
Nicole F
5:31 PM
No, your OTHER ex-boyfriend.
Wow, your life sure has gotten complicated lately.
But funny how it’s the lumbersexual your mind jumped to first when I typed “avoid.”
I think I just figured out why you dumped him. That kiss last night in the parking lot was more than a friendly good-night peck after all, wasn’t it????
Becky F
5:31 PM
You should have gotten your face painted like a jackass because that’s what you are.
Nicole F
5:31 PM
Oh ha ha, burn. Whatevs.
At least my ex-boyfriend from high school isn’t walking towards me RIGHT NOW holding a plate of cherry pie.
You know, you two look good together.
So why are you blushing so much?
Reed
5:33 PM
Hi.
Becky
5:33 PM
Hi.
Reed
5:33 PM
It’s really loud in here.
Becky
5:33 PM
Yes. Harrison and the Fords make up for their lack of talent with their enthusiasm.
Reed
5:33 PM
I don’t think my dad approves.
Becky
5:33 PM
No. He’s frowning. But your mom looks happy.
Reed
5:33 PM
She looks like she’s waiting for my dad to ask her to dance. Which she probably is. I think they met in this gymnasium forty-something years ago. Or so the story goes.
Becky
5:33 PM
I think that’s sweet.
Reed
5:33 PM
I guess. We look like idiots, standing here texting. Well, not you. You look amazing, as always.
Becky
5:34 PM
Thanks. I actually came over here for some chicken.
Reed
5:34 PM
Me, too. And to talk to Rhonda about how she knows my parents are broke. But she seems swamped. The closest I could get is some pie. Would you like some?
Becky
5:34 PM
Are you asking if I’d like to share your pie, Reed Stewart?
Reed
5:34 PM
Are you flirting with me, Becky Flowers?
Becky
5:34 PM
Absolutely not.
Reed
5:34 PM
You’re blushing. Sorry. Listen, I know this is weird, but would you like to go outside and—
Transcript of Interview with REED STEWART by Christina Martinez, Bloomville Herald
CHRISTINA:
Hi, sorry to interrupt, you two, but I’m Christina Martinez with the Bloomville Herald, and we’ve been dying for an interview with pro golfer Reed Stewart, Bloomville’s own pride and joy.
Reed, this interview is being recorded using the new WriteOn device that automatically transcribes voices into text to make transcription on the go even easier. Is that all right with you?
REED:
Uh, not really. I actually don’t have time for an interview right now, I’m just here to enjoy—
CHRISTINA:
Great!
So what is it that brought you to Bloomville a week before what some are calling the most important tournament of your life, after not having won a game in over two years, and your frankly embarrassing losses at Augusta and Doral? Shouldn’t you be hitting the gym—or the greens—in Orlando in preparation for next week’s Golden Palm?
REED:
I’m sorry, it’s really loud in here. I can’t hear you.
CHRISTINA:
Sorry, I’ll speak up.
Is it love for your parents, Reed? A lot of people are saying it’s because you love your parents that you are here in Bloomville at this crucial time in your career.
REED:
I guess you could say that.
Look, even though we’re really grateful and appreciative to all the people here in Bloomville who came out this evening to show their support for my parents, they actually do not need financial help, so—
CHRISTINA:
Right, because the charges against them were dropped by Shenanigans International, Inc., which must have been a relief to you, right, Reed? How much of a distraction has all of this business with your parents been, Reed, going into the Golden Palm, which some are saying is the most important tournament of your golf career?
REED:
Um, it hasn’t been a distraction as much as it’s been a misunderstanding.
I’m just real glad it’s cleared up now, and my parents are doing great, and I’m going to get onto the course next week and hit the ball like I always do. I’ve been working real hard on my swing and my wedge play—
CHRISTINA:
And just what kind of advantage, if any, has growing up in a town like Bloomville given you over other professional athletes in your field?
REED:
Uh, well, I guess . . . the people. The people of Bloomville are unlike any others in the world. They’re so warm and giving and kind and beautiful and . . .
CHRIS
TINA:
I see that you’re directing your remarks at one particular citizen of Bloomville. May I have your name, miss?
BECKY:
Oh, no, he was kidding.
REED:
Rebecca Flowers. And I’m not kidding. I owe everything to her. We went to high school together. This high school. We both graduated from here ten years ago.
BECKY:
He’s joking. I mean we did go here, but he’s joking about owing everything to me. He practiced very hard to get to where he is today.
REED:
Well, she drove the golf cart.
BECKY:
Reed.
He’s still kidding. I didn’t. Well, I did occasionally, but his success has nothing to do with—
CHRISTINA:
You’re Becky Flowers, aren’t you? President of Moving Up! Senior Move Management Consultants? We did a piece on you last summer.
BECKY:
Yes, but please don’t mention me in—
REED:
You should. You should mention her. Not the thing about the golf cart though. That was a joke.
CHRISTINA:
You two dated in high school. Several people here tonight have already pointed that out to me.
BECKY:
Oh, crap. I mean, sorry. Please don’t—can you erase that?
CHRISTINA:
No. I don’t think so. This device is new, we just got them, I actually don’t know how it works. So, are you two getting back together?
BECKY:
I beg your pardon?
CHRISTINA:
You know, rekindling the flame of your high school romance?
BECKY:
What? No!
REED:
Yes. Ow. Did you see that, Christina? She hit me. Can your voice thingy transcribe that?
CHRISTINA:
Okay, I’ll disregard the personal stuff. But off the record, seriously, how would that even work? Becky, are you considering moving from Bloomville? Because small towns like this can’t afford to lose any more businesses, especially ones offering vitally needed services like yours. Although I would understand it. Running a business in this economic climate isn’t easy, and frankly, this town—
(INAUDIBLE)
Oops. I shouldn’t have said that. How do you rewind this stupid thing?
BECKY:
Um, no, Christina, Moving Up! isn’t going anywhere at the moment, and neither am I. I’m dedicated to growing my client base, and I have family here. I’ve lived here since I was a kid, and it’s the place I love best in all the world.
CHRISTINA:
Really?
REED:
Yeah, really? How do you know? You haven’t been anywhere else, really.
BECKY:
Uh, I know I want to spend the rest of my life where my family is.
REED:
But you’d be open to traveling to other places, right?
BECKY:
I guess. On a short-term basis.
REED:
How short? Because in order to qualify for exemption from personal income tax in the state of Florida, you have to live there six months and a day.
BECKY:
What are you talking about?
CHRISTINA:
Is that true? Because I’ve been offered a job in Florida, and I’m probably going to take it to get away from—
Oh, hold that thought, Reed. It looks like Judge Stewart is climbing to the stage and appears to be preparing to make a speech to his supporters. Rob, could you get a photo? Rob? Rob, seriously, I know it’s impossible for you to concentrate even for one second on your job, but could you actually—
(INAUDIBLE)
REED:
Really? So you’re never going to leave Bloomville?
BECKY:
I didn’t say that. I said I had no plans to leave for the moment. What’s all this business about Florida?
REED:
My financial advisor said it would be more tax advantageous to live there than California or, for instance, Indiana.
And, like you told my parents, just because you live in one state doesn’t mean you can’t visit your family back home.
BECKY:
Oh, what a revelation. So could you, but this is the first time in a decade you ever have.
REED:
Not everyone is like me.
BECKY:
Thank God.
REED:
What was that?
BECKY:
Nothing.
CHRISTINA:
You do realize that this device is picking up everything you two are saying, don’t you?
BECKY:
Oh, sorry.
CHRISTINA:
It’s fine by me. I just thought you should know. Oh, look, the Judge is speaking.
(Applause)
JUDGE STEWART:
Thank you, thank you. Mrs. Stewart and I just wanted to take a moment to say how much we appreciate everything you people have done for us this past week. Why, if it wasn’t for all of you, it’s likely we two would be sitting in the pokey like a couple of jailbirds.
(Laughter)
JUDGE STEWART:
I especially want to thank Mrs. Beverly Flowers for all her work on our behalf getting that restaurant to drop the charges.
(Applause)
JUDGE STEWART:
Guess Connie and I should stay home and order pizza delivery for a while to keep ourselves out of trouble.
(Laughter)
JUDGE STEWART:
Now I want to address why we’re all here tonight. It was nice—real nice—of Rhonda Jenkins to organize all this for us. She’s a kind woman, and an even better friend. I don’t think we could ask for a better one.
(Applause, indistinct chatter)
JUDGE STEWART:
But the fact is, Mrs. Stewart and I are doing just fine financially. It’s true we’ve had a couple of little misunderstandings with the government about our taxes, but who hasn’t in this day and age?
(Laughter)
JUDGE STEWART:
And it’s true the old house may not look as good as it once did. But Mrs. Stewart and I don’t either.
(Laughter)
JUDGE STEWART:
Why, I remember one of the best days in my life was right here in this gymnasium—forty-eight years ago, it was, and this place was brand-new. It was the first time I ever set eyes on a girl named Connie Duncan, and she was wearing something that was considered a pretty risqué style back then—a miniskirt.
(Laughter)
JUDGE STEWART:
I knew then that I was sunk—even though, some of you will recall, I’d just been elected Chug-a-Lug Champ of the Hijinks Club.
REED:
What is he talking about?
BECKY:
You don’t know?
REED:
No. Do you?
BECKY:
No. But I’m loving it.
CHRISTINA:
Shhh, you two!
JUDGE STEWART:
I’ll leave it up to your imagination as to what one had to do in order to be elected to a position of such high authority, but suffice it to say, I was already a little unsteady on my feet. I had attained my champion crown earlier that day at a picnic lunch over at Lake Bloomville.
And suddenly in walked this vision with the longest legs—and the shortest skirt—I had ever seen.
Well, it wasn’t only my heart I lost that day. I lost my head, too. In fact, I keeled right over onto that shiny new floor . . . BAM!
(Clapping noise. Laughter)
And when I woke up, who should be tenderly cradling my head, but the very same angel who’d knocked me unconscious with her beauty in the first place, Miss Connie Duncan.
And I knew right then that I’d be resigning my position in the Hijinks Club, and walking the straight and narrow from that day forward, with Connie Duncan at my side . . . if she’d have me, which luckily for me, she agreed to—after I pu
lled myself up, literally, from the floor.
(Laughter)
REED:
I can’t believe this.
BECKY:
You never heard this story before?
REED:
No. Have you?
BECKY:
Oh, hundreds of times. He showed me his Chug-a-Lug Champion medal.
REED:
He did?
BECKY:
No! Of course not.
CHRISTINA:
Would you two mind? Some of us are trying to listen.
JUDGE STEWART:
So at the request of Miss Connie Duncan, who—besides getting suspended from school that day for wearing such a daringly short skirt—took a chance on a boy who also got suspended from school that day, for showing up to a pep rally a little bit drunk . . . on love, of course—
(Laughter)
Kids! You see? Even your most esteemed elders have made mistakes.
But Miss Duncan took a chance on a boy who didn’t deserve one, and stuck by him through some very bad times, then provided him with some very, very good ones, including three children of whom I could not be more proud, some of whom have now given me five grandchildren, of whom I’m prouder still.
(Applause)
So I would like to ask, at her request, that all the proceeds from tonight be donated not to us, but a far more deserving organization: the Bloomville Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
(Gasps, applause, cheers)
BECKY:
Oh, my God, Reed. That was so sweet! Your parents are the most—
REED:
Yes. Yes, they are, aren’t they?
BECKY:
And you didn’t know any of this?
REED:
I had no idea. He’s never told that story before.
