“Captain Lingard,” he burst out in desperation; “you can’t say I have worried you very much since this morning when I received you at the side, but I must be told something. What is it going to be with us? Fight or run?”
Lingard stopped short and now there was no doubt in Carter’s mind that the Captain was looking at him. There was no room for any doubt before that stern and enquiring gaze. “Aha!” thought Carter. “This has startled him”; and feeling that his shyness had departed he pursued his advantage. “For the fact of the matter is, sir, that, whatever happens, unless I am to be your man you will have no officer. I had better tell you at once that I have bundled that respectable, crazy, fat Shaw out of the ship. He was upsetting all hands. Yesterday I told him to go and get his dunnage together because I was going to send him aboard the yacht. He couldn’t have made more uproar about it if I had proposed to chuck him overboard. I warned him that if he didn’t go quietly I would have him tied up like a sheep ready for slaughter. However, he went down the ladder on his own feet, shaking his fist at me and promising to have me hanged for a pirate some day. He can do no harm on board the yacht. And now, sir, it’s for you to give orders and not for me — thank God!”
Lingard turned away, abruptly. Carter didn’t budge. After a moment he heard himself called from the other side of the deck and obeyed with alacrity.
“What’s that story of a man you picked up on the coast last evening?” asked Lingard in his gentlest tone. “Didn’t you tell me something about it when I came on board?”
“I tried to,” said Carter, frankly. “But I soon gave it up. You didn’t seem to pay any attention to what I was saying. I thought you wanted to be left alone for a bit. What can I know of your ways, yet, sir? Are you aware, Captain Lingard, that since this morning I have been down five times at the cabin door to look at you? There you sat. . . .”
He paused and Lingard said: “You have been five times down in the cabin?”
“Yes. And the sixth time I made up my mind to make you take some notice of me. I can’t be left without orders. There are two ships to look after, a lot of things to be done. . . .”
“There is nothing to be done,” Lingard interrupted with a mere murmur but in a tone which made Carter keep silent for a while.
“Even to know that much would have been something to go by,” he ventured at last. “I couldn’t let you sit there with the sun getting pretty low and a long night before us.”
“I feel stunned yet,” said Lingard, looking Carter straight in the face, as if to watch the effect of that confession.
“Were you very near that explosion?” asked the young man with sympathetic curiosity and seeking for some sign on Lingard’s person. But there was nothing. Not a single hair of the Captain’s head seemed to have been singed.
“Near,” muttered Lingard. “It might have been my head.” He pressed it with both hands, then let them fall. “What about that man?” he asked, brusquely. “Where did he come from? . . . I suppose he is dead now,” he added in an envious tone.
“No, sir. He must have as many lives as a cat,” answered Carter. “I will tell you how it was. As I said before I wasn’t going to give you up, dead or alive, so yesterday when the sun went down a little in the afternoon I had two of our boats manned and pulled in shore, taking soundings to find a passage if there was one. I meant to go back and look for you with the brig or without the brig — but that doesn’t matter now. There were three or four floating logs in sight. One of the Calashes in my boat made out something red on one of them. I thought it was worth while to go and see what it was. It was that man’s sarong. It had got entangled among the branches and prevented him rolling off into the water. I was never so glad, I assure you, as when we found out that he was still breathing. If we could only nurse him back to life, I thought, he could perhaps tell me a lot of things. The log on which he hung had come out of the mouth of the creek and he couldn’t have been more than half a day on it by my calculation. I had him taken down the main hatchway and put into a hammock in the ‘tween-decks. He only just breathed then, but some time during the night he came to himself and got out of the hammock to lie down on a mat. I suppose he was more comfortable that way. He recovered his speech only this morning and I went down at once and told you of it, but you took no notice. I told you also who he was but I don’t know whether you heard me or not.”
“I don’t remember,” said Lingard under his breath.
“They are wonderful, those Malays. This morning he was only half alive, if that much, and now I understand he has been talking to Wasub for an hour. Will you go down to see him, sir, or shall I send a couple of men to carry him on deck?”
Lingard looked bewildered for a moment.
“Who on earth is he?” he asked.
“Why, it’s that fellow whom you sent out, that night I met you, to catch our first gig. What do they call him? Jaffir, I think. Hasn’t he been with you ashore, sir? Didn’t he find you with the letter I gave him for you? A most determined looking chap. I knew him again the moment we got him off the log.”
Lingard seized hold of the royal backstay within reach of his hand. Jaffir! Jaffir! Faithful above all others; the messenger of supreme moments; the reckless and devoted servant! Lingard felt a crushing sense of despair. “No, I can’t face this,” he whispered to himself, looking at the coast black as ink now before his eyes in the world’s shadow that was slowly encompassing the grey clearness of the Shallow Waters. “Send Wasub to me. I am going down into the cabin.”
He crossed over to the companion, then checking himself suddenly: “Was there a boat from the yacht during the day?” he asked as if struck by a sudden thought. — ”No, sir,” answered Carter. “We had no communication with the yacht to-day.” — ”Send Wasub to me,” repeated Lingard in a stern voice as he went down the stairs.
The old serang coming in noiselessly saw his Captain as he had seen him many times before, sitting under the gilt thunderbolts, apparently as strong in his body, in his wealth, and in his knowledge of secret words that have a power over men and elements, as ever. The old Malay squatted down within a couple of feet from Lingard, leaned his back against the satinwood panel of the bulkhead, then raising his old eyes with a watchful and benevolent expression to the white man’s face, clasped his hands between his knees.
“Wasub, you have learned now everything. Is there no one left alive but Jaffir? Are they all dead?”
“May you live!” answered Wasub; and Lingard whispered an appalled “All dead!” to which Wasub nodded slightly twice. His cracked voice had a lamenting intonation. “It is all true! It is all true! You are left alone, Tuan; you are left alone!”
“It was their destiny,” said Lingard at last, with forced calmness. “But has Jaffir told you of the manner of this calamity? How is it that he alone came out alive from it to be found by you?”
“He was told by his lord to depart and he obeyed,” began Wasub, fixing his eyes on the deck and speaking just loud enough to be heard by Lingard, who, bending forward in his seat, shrank inwardly from every word and yet would not have missed a single one of them for anything.
For the catastrophe had fallen on his head like a bolt from the blue in the early morning hours of the day before. At the first break of dawn he had been sent for to resume, his talk with Belarab. He had felt suddenly Mrs. Travers remove her hand from his head. Her voice speaking intimately into his ear: “Get up. There are some people coming,” had recalled him to himself. He had got up from the ground. The light was dim, the air full of mist; and it was only gradually that he began to make out forms above his head and about his feet: trees, houses, men sleeping on the ground. He didn’t recognize them. It was but a cruel change of dream. Who could tell what was real in this world? He looked about him, dazedly; he was still drunk with the deep draught of oblivion he had conquered for himself. Yes — but it was she who had let him snatch the cup. He looked down at the woman on the bench. She moved not. She had remained like that, still
for hours, giving him a waking dream of rest without end, in an infinity of happiness without sound and movement, without thought, without joy; but with an infinite ease of content, like a world-embracing reverie breathing the air of sadness and scented with love. For hours she had not moved.
“You are the most generous of women,” he said. He bent over her. Her eyes were wide open. Her lips felt cold. It did not shock him. After he stood up he remained near her. Heat is a consuming thing, but she with her cold lips seemed to him indestructible — and, perhaps, immortal!
Again he stooped, but this time it was only to kiss the fringe of her head scarf. Then he turned away to meet the three men, who, coming round the corner of the hut containing the prisoners, were approaching him with measured steps. They desired his presence in the Council room. Belarab was awake.
They also expressed their satisfaction at finding the white man awake, because Belarab wanted to impart to him information of the greatest importance. It seemed to Lingard that he had been awake ever since he could remember. It was as to being alive that he felt not so sure. He had no doubt of his existence; but was this life — this profound indifference, this strange contempt for what his eyes could see, this distaste for words, this unbelief in the importance of things and men? He tried to regain possession of himself, his old self which had things to do, words to speak as well as to hear. But it was too difficult. He was seduced away by the tense feeling of existence far superior to the mere consciousness of life, and which in its immensity of contradictions, delight, dread, exultation and despair could not be faced and yet was not to be evaded. There was no peace in it. But who wanted peace? Surrender was better, the dreadful ease of slack limbs in the sweep of an enormous tide and in a divine emptiness of mind. If this was existence then he knew that he existed. And he knew that the woman existed, too, in the sweep of the tide, without speech, without movement, without heat! Indestructible — and, perhaps, immortal!
VII
With the sublime indifference of a man who has had a glimpse through the open doors of Paradise and is no longer careful of mere life, Lingard had followed Belarab’s anxious messengers. The stockade was waking up in a subdued resonance of voices. Men were getting up from the ground, fires were being rekindled. Draped figures flitted in the mist amongst the buildings; and through the mat wall of a bamboo house Lingard heard the feeble wailing of a child. A day of mere life was beginning; but in the Chief’s great Council room several wax candles and a couple of cheap European lamps kept the dawn at bay, while the morning mist which could not be kept out made a faint reddish halo round every flame.
Belarab was not only awake, but he even looked like a man who had not slept for a long time. The creator of the Shore of Refuge, the weary Ruler of the Settlement, with his scorn of the unrest and folly of men, was angry with his white friend who was always bringing his desires and his troubles to his very door. Belarab did not want any one to die but neither did he want any one in particular to live. What he was concerned about was to preserve the mystery and the power of his melancholy hesitations. These delicate things were menaced by Lingard’s brusque movements, by that passionate white man who believed in more than one God and always seemed to doubt the power of Destiny. Belarab was profoundly annoyed. He was also genuinely concerned, for he liked Lingard. He liked him not only for his strength, which protected his clear-minded scepticism from those dangers that beset all rulers, but he liked him also for himself. That man of infinite hesitations, born from a sort of mystic contempt for Allah’s creation, yet believed absolutely both in Lingard’s power and in his boldness. Absolutely. And yet, in the marvellous consistency of his temperament, now that the moment had come, he dreaded to put both power and fortitude to the test.
Lingard could not know that some little time before the first break of dawn one of Belarab’s spies in the Settlement had found his way inside the stockade at a spot remote from the lagoon, and that a very few moments after Lingard had left the Chief in consequence of Jorgenson’s rockets, Belarab was listening to an amazing tale of Hassim and Immada’s capture and of Tengga’s determination, very much strengthened by that fact, to obtain possession of the Emma, either by force or by negotiation, or by some crafty subterfuge in which the Rajah and his sister could be made to play their part. In his mistrust of the universe, which seemed almost to extend to the will of God himself, Belarab was very much alarmed, for the material power of Daman’s piratical crowd was at Tengga’s command; and who could tell whether this Wajo Rajah would remain loyal in the circumstances? It was also very characteristic of him whom the original settlers of the Shore of Refuge called the Father of Safety, that he did not say anything of this to Lingard, for he was afraid of rousing Lingard’s fierce energy which would even carry away himself and all his people and put the peace of so many years to the sudden hazard of a battle.
Therefore Belarab set himself to persuade Lingard on general considerations to deliver the white men, who really belonged to Daman, to that supreme Chief of the Illanuns and by this simple proceeding detach him completely from Tengga. Why should he, Belarab, go to war against half the Settlement on their account? It was not necessary, it was not reasonable. It would be even in a manner a sin to begin a strife in a community of True Believers. Whereas with an offer like that in his hand he could send an embassy to Tengga who would see there at once the downfall of his purposes and the end of his hopes. At once! That moment! . . . Afterward the question of a ransom could be arranged with Daman in which he, Belarab, would mediate in the fullness of his recovered power, without a rival and in the sincerity of his heart. And then, if need be, he could put forth all his power against the chief of the sea-vagabonds who would, as a matter of fact, be negotiating under the shadow of the sword.
Belarab talked, low-voiced and dignified, with now and then a subtle intonation, a persuasive inflexion or a half-melancholy smile in the course of the argument. What encouraged him most was the changed aspect of his white friend. The fierce power of his personality seemed to have turned into a dream. Lingard listened, growing gradually inscrutable in his continued silence, but remaining gentle in a sort of rapt patience as if lapped in the wings of the Angel of Peace himself. Emboldened by that transformation, Belarab’s counsellors seated on the mats murmured loudly their assent to the views of the Chief. Through the thickening white mist of tropical lands, the light of the tropical day filtered into the hall. One of the wise men got up from the floor and with prudent fingers began extinguishing the waxlights one by one. He hesitated to touch the lamps, the flames of which looked yellow and cold. A puff of the morning breeze entered the great room, faint and chill. Lingard, facing Belarab in a wooden armchair, with slack limbs and in the divine emptiness of a mind enchanted by a glimpse of Paradise, shuddered profoundly.
A strong voice shouted in the doorway without any ceremony and with a sort of jeering accent:
“Tengga’s boats are out in the mist.”
Lingard half rose from his seat, Belarab himself could not repress a start. Lingard’s attitude was a listening one, but after a moment of hesitation he ran out of the hall. The inside of the stockade was beginning to buzz like a disturbed hive.
Outside Belarab’s house Lingard slowed his pace. The mist still hung. A great sustained murmur pervaded it and the blurred forms of men were all moving outward from the centre toward the palisades. Somewhere amongst the buildings a gong clanged. D’Alcacer’s raised voice was heard:
“What is happening?”
Lingard was passing then close to the prisoners’ house. There was a group of armed men below the verandah and above their heads he saw Mrs. Travers by the side of d’Alcacer. The fire by which Lingard had spent the night was extinguished, its embers scattered, and the bench itself lay overturned. Mrs. Travers must have run up on the verandah at the first alarm. She and d’Alcacer up there seemed to dominate the tumult which was now subsiding. Lingard noticed the scarf across Mrs. Travers’ face. D’Alcacer was bareheaded. He shouted a
gain:
“What’s the matter?”
“I am going to see,” shouted Lingard back.
He resisted the impulse to join those two, dominate the tumult, let it roll away from under his feet — the mere life of men, vain like a dream and interfering with the tremendous sense of his own existence. He resisted it, he could hardly have told why. Even the sense of self-preservation had abandoned him. There was a throng of people pressing close about him yet careful not to get in his way. Surprise, concern, doubt were depicted on all those faces; but there were some who observed that the great white man making his way to the lagoon side of the stockade wore a fixed smile. He asked at large:
“Can one see any distance over the water?”
One of Belarab’s headmen who was nearest to him answered:
“The mist has thickened. If you see anything, Tuan, it will be but a shadow of things.”
The four sides of the stockade had been manned by that time. Lingard, ascending the banquette, looked out and saw the lagoon shrouded in white, without as much as a shadow on it, and so still that not even the sound of water lapping the shore reached his ears. He found himself in profound accord with this blind and soundless peace.
“Has anything at all been seen?” he asked incredulously.
Four men were produced at once who had seen a dark mass of boats moving in the light of the dawn. Others were sent for. He hardly listened to them. His thought escaped him and he stood motionless, looking out into the unstirring mist pervaded by the perfect silence. Presently Belarab joined him, escorted by three grave, swarthy men, himself dark-faced, stroking his short grey beard with impenetrable composure. He said to Lingard, “Your white man doesn’t fight,” to which Lingard answered, “There is nothing to fight against. What your people have seen, Belarab, were indeed but shadows on the water.” Belarab murmured, “You ought to have allowed me to make friends with Daman last night.”
Complete Works of Joseph Conrad (Illustrated) Page 457
