“Hello?” I tried to sound normal but I could hear the shakiness in my own voice. I’m sure that Aaron could hear it too.
“Good morning, beautiful. How are you feeling?”
“I still feel really sick I’m afraid. I probably won’t make it in to work today. I don’t think there’s anything too pressing going on in the department…”
“That’s okay, I’ll let Max know. You take care of yourself and feel better. Get lots of rest. Would you like me to bring you anything on my way in to the office?”
“No, I’d rather keep my distance for a day or two… I don’t want to give you this. I’m going to miss your face terribly, but I’d hate making you sick. It’s just the stomach flu, but it’s nasty.”
“I miss you already,” he said, virtually ripping my heart completely from my chest. I felt the tears flood my eyes again and I tried not to sound like I was crying when I replied.
“I miss you already too.”
“Are you sure it’s just the flu baby? You sound upset.”
That was my golden opportunity to tell him the truth. I knew it was the right thing to do. He deserved to know the truth about me. If the situation were reversed, I’d expect him to tell me… I didn’t tell him though; I let the opportunity pass.
“I’m sure sweetheart. I’m sorry. I just feel really icky. I’m just sick though, not upset.”
“Don’t be sorry. You feel better and let me know if you need anything at all.”
“I will, thank you.” I hung up and once again dissolved into a torrent of tears.
I lay there and sobbed and shook and sobbed some more for another hour, maybe two. I finally realized that I was getting nowhere this way. I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and start thinking. This problem was not going to solve itself.
I made myself get up and shower and while I was standing under the hot spray I thought about the company I worked for, Aaron’s company. I thought about all of the expense accounts I was in charge of. I was a supervisor. I had access to accounts and credit cards… Dear God, I was thinking about stealing money. I’d never stolen anything in my lifetime and here I was thinking about stealing money from the company that I loved that was owned and ran by the man that I loved. I had to get out of the shower and throw up again. Even with everything I’d been through in my life, I’d always been able to say that I liked myself. Right now, only thinking about stealing money was making me despise myself. I had never even gone through a shop-lifting phase as a kid. My parents taught me how hard people worked for the money and things they had. I had no right to just take anything from anyone. When I finally stopped shaking and stood upright and looked at myself in the mirror, I decided that I couldn’t do that. I would just have to think of another way.
I didn’t go to work for two days and every time Aaron tried to come see me I begged off with the stomach flu excuse. I couldn’t look him in the eyes as I plotted to steal from him. I’d gone back and forth with that one and had finally come to the conclusion that it was my only choice. I was going to embezzle the money a little at a time and then I was going to put it back, out of my own pocket, no matter how long it took. I couldn’t lose Aaron. I had to do it this way. If I got caught, things would be horrible… but they were horrible right now, weren’t they? When you’re wrapped up in your own head the way I was the thoughts that seemed so rational at the time, really weren’t. What I wouldn’t give for the benefit of hindsight before I went and did something incredibly stupid.
On the third day just as Igor promised it would, the throw away phone rang. I let it ring three times, but just the sound of it ringing made my stomach hurt. I finally picked it up.
“Igor.”
“Hello babe. You have my money?”
Every time he called me “babe” I wanted to scratch his eyes out. “Of course I don’t have the money. It’s been three days and you want seventy-five thousand dollars. I will get your money, I have a plan but I’m going to need more time.”
“I give you two weeks. I will expect you to call the number that is now on this phone every three days and let me know of your progress…”
“I don’t see the need for….”
“I’ll talk to you in three days. Have a nice day babe.” The line went dead. I threw the cheap little phone across the room. I was disappointed later when I picked it up and realized it hadn’t broken.
I spent my first full day back at work going through the accounts that I had access to and trying to map out the best course of action. I would have to only take a small amount from each one and then make sure it looked like the money was used for a legitimate business expense. Meanwhile, I would set up a new online account and move the money into that. I would make sure that it listed those of us who had access to all of the other accounts on it just in case anyone scrutinized it for any reason. Once the money was moved in there, I would withdraw it a little at a time. While I was in the midst of doing all that, Aaron walked into my office. I could feel my heart slamming against the walls of my chest.
“Good morning,” he said, coming around the desk to give me a kiss. I switched off the computer screen quickly before he got there and got to my feet.
“Good morning,” I told him. He kissed my cheek and pulled me into an embrace.
“How are you feeling? You feel so thin… have you been eating?”
I pulled back and smiled at him. “I feel much better, thank you. I may have lost a little weight from throwing up, but not too much. I’m eating fine now.”
“Good, I’ve been worried. I think just to be sure, I should take you out for a nice dinner tonight.”
I was shaking and I hoped that he didn’t notice. I wasn’t sure how I was going to spend time with him without him knowing something was wrong. I’m not that good of an actress and I’m a terrible liar. But, if I stopped spending time with him I was losing out, and he would start asking questions that I couldn’t answer.
“I’d love that,” I told him.
“Good, I’ll make reservations. I have meetings all afternoon but I should be finished up by six.”
“That sounds perfect,” I told him. “How did the rest of the party turn out the other night?”
“It went well. Did you see the write-up and the photos in the papers?”
“No, I missed them.”
“You can look at them online,” he said. “They got some great pictures of you. You looked amazing in your gown.”
“Before I puked in the gutter?” I said with a smile.
“You looked gorgeous after that too,” he said. “You were as pale as a sheet though, that worried me more than anything.”
“I’m sorry I worried you. I’m good now though, lots of color in the cheeks.”
He kissed me on one of them and said, “Much better, beautiful.”
Aaron kissed my lips then. His kisses caused me to feel like my insides were melting and there was no way to stay stressed or anxious whilst we connected. By the time he left and went back to his office I was feeling almost normal again. I didn’t even need the kiss. Just being with him gave me such a warm, safe feeling no matter what else was going on. I turned the monitor back on and looked at it. The sick feeling returned in the pit of my stomach as I started once again deciding how to go about embezzling seventy-five thousand dollars.
I managed to get some real work done and “borrow” twenty-five hundred dollars that first day. I’d managed to just move things around so that on the books it looked like the money had gone towards departmental expenses. It was a very small start, but it was a start. I wasn’t proud of myself in the least, but I was at least relieved to know I was beginning to figure this all out. It would be over soon and I’d be rid of Igor and Aaron’s reputation wouldn’t be in jeopardy any longer.
I went home right after work and got ready for Aaron to pick me up for dinner. He got there at exactly seven and we went to a nice, quiet little Sushi bar that he knew I loved. I ordered a veggie roll and iced tea. Aaron asked if my st
omach was still bothering me and I lied and said that it wasn’t but I wanted to ease back into eating for a few days. The truth was, just looking at his beautiful face sitting across the table from me was causing me to feel sick again. It was like the guilt was eating me from the inside out. I tried hard to push it down and concentrate on Aaron. I really didn’t want to go through all of this and lose him anyways because he found me to be distant and emotional all the time.
I did my best to make pleasant conversation as we ate and then afterwards he drove us to the park for a walk in the moonlight. Winter was slowly turning to spring and the night was alive with the smell of freshly blooming flowers and the new leaves on the trees were dazzling against the moonlight. As we strolled along the cobbled paths hand in hand I was able to, for just a little while, let my mind and body both begin to relax.
We walked in mostly comfortable silence until we came to the edge of the little man-made lake in the park. Aaron put his arms around my waist and looked down at my face. He smiled gently and then he cupped my chin in one of his hands and brought his lips down to meet mine. The connection of our lips sent hot sparks of electricity racing through me. No matter how many times we kissed, or in how many different places he still made me shudder. The warm, soft texture of his lips was intoxicating in and of themselves, but when our lips parted and our tongues joined together in a beautiful dance, the weight of the world fell completely off my shoulders. My blood was boiling by the time he broke the kiss and pulled me deeper into his chest to nestle my head against him. I felt so safe standing there in his arms, like nothing could ever hurt me.
"Can I tell you something?” he asked, looking down at me.
“Always,” I told him.
“The first time I saw you… the day you stepped on the elevator as I stepped off, kissing you was all I could think about. I imagined it, fantasized about it, built it up in my head, so much so that I was afraid the real thing could never measure up…”
“Did it?” I asked him.
“No,” he said with a straight face. Then with his fingers still on my chin to tilt it upwards he kissed me softly again and said, “It surpassed it by miles.”
“You make me so happy,” I told him.
“I hope so,” he said. “Lately I’ve been a little concerned that you’re having regrets about us. Your moods have been a little off…”
“Oh no! No! No! No! Please don’t ever think that. Nothing makes me happier than being with you!” I had tears in my eyes again.
“Shh! Shh! Baby it’s okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I threw myself back into his arms and said, “You didn’t, I’m sorry. I’ve just been emotional lately. I think it has something to do with being sick. I’m not sure. Please don’t ever think I don’t want to be with you. I would do anything to be with you… anything.” I meant that. I couldn’t tell him outright that I was stealing from him in hopes of staying with him. It didn’t make any sense at all when I thought of it like that. I couldn’t start trying to talk myself out of it now though; it was already in the works.
~
CHAPTER THREE
~
AARON
I stood in the park holding Robyn in my arms. I felt like my heart would burst sometimes from the contentment that it was overflowing with. I’d somehow stumbled upon the woman of my dreams and even when I stood here like this, feeling the warmth of her flesh and the gentle rise and fall of her chest against mine, I felt like pinching myself to make sure it was real. As I’d gone through my adult life, dating women when the need arose for a date and having sex with women when the need arose for that as well, I knew that there was something I was missing out on. Robyn was it. The necessary dates had turned into evenings spent with good company and the sex was no longer about just satisfying a physical need; it was an emotional craving so deep inside of me that it had to be coming from my soul.
“Come home with me?” I asked her.
“I don’t have clothes for work in the morning…”
“I’ll take you home early, I promise. I need you tonight, please.”
She smiled and nodded. I bent down and kissed her again and then before we left I pointed up at a huge star in the sky that was so large the reflection of it covered the lake.
“Do you see that?” I asked her.
She turned and leaned her back against me as she looked up at the star. “It’s beautiful,” she said.
“It is, but not as beautiful as you,” I told her, and I meant it. “I want to make a promise to you, on that big, giant star that I will do whatever it takes to give you the most amazing life, filled with wonder and awe and music and love.” She turned to look up at me and once again had tears in her eyes. “Baby, are you sure that everything is okay?” I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why suddenly everything made her cry.
She nodded and said, “You’re standing here with me underneath this beautiful sky, telling me those beautiful things and promising me that as amazing as life since I’ve known you has been, that it’s only going to get better. There is no other way for me to react to that than with tears of absolute joy. I love you Aaron Winters.”
My heart swelled again. I suspected that she was in love with me, but that was the first time she’d said it. I had been feeling it for some time now too. My inexperience with it made me hesitant to say so however… until now.
“I love you, Robyn Hurst,” I told her. Her face was already flush from the night air, but even that was replaced with a pink glow when I told her I loved her. She put her arms around my neck and kissed me again.
“Yes, I want to go to your place.”
When we got back to my apartment we didn’t even pause to turn on the lights. We started stripping each other down on the way to the bedroom. Robyn’s fingers were nimble as she unbuttoned my shirt and her touch was assertive and eager to satisfy. Her gentle touches flooded my body with electricity, and the pleasure of it all took over my mind and rendered it defenseless of any further thoughts or worries about what was going on with her emotional state.
I relieved her of her layers of clothing and for just a moment I paused to look adoringly at every smooth inch of her skin and curves reflected in the lights of the city that flooded in through the large walls of glass surrounding the penthouse. I worshipped her with my eyes from head to toe. Taking her naked body into my arms I laid her gently onto the bed and then I lay down next to her, pressing my lips feverishly into hers.
Our bodies urgently anticipated what was to come and we were both driven into a frenzy of heated impatience. When I was with Robyn it was like my normally ordered, intellectual brain was replaced by a primal one with only the instinct to mate and unify with her, and her alone.
The rest of the world was forgotten and wrongs were forever healed as we succumbed to pure pleasure. I wanted to consume her, and as the shudders took possession of me and I moaned out her name, I swear that I could actually feel my soul merging with hers. After we were both spent and neither of us could move another of our sweaty, tired muscles we lay wrapped in each other’s arms and in an extreme state of bliss I slipped into a deep sleep.
I woke up a few hours later, cold and alone. I panicked at first, disoriented and afraid that something had happened to her. I sat up and looked around in the semi-darkness.
“Robyn?”
I heard her footsteps before I saw her. She had been standing in the corner of the room, wrapped in a blanket and looking out the window. “Hey, here I am,” she said. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”
“No, but why are you up? Are you okay?”
She smiled and sat down next to me. Running her hand across my face she smiled and said, “I’m fine. You’re turning into quite the worry-wart.”
“You haven’t been yourself lately,” I told her.
She nodded and said, “You’re right, I haven’t. I’m sure it’s just this illness that has set me off balance. I was just standing over there re-living a dream I had
last night… in this dream, you told me that you loved me.”
I took her hand in mine and kissed the palm of it. “If that was a dream, I’m living in it too. I don’t ever want to wake up.”
Robyn came back into my arms and said, “No matter what ever happens, I love you, Aaron.” It sounded ominous almost, like she expected something bad to happen…
ROBYN
The Billionaire's Forgiveness (A Winters Love Book 3) Page 2
