by Maggie Lee
Alexis washes me and when I lay down, I just stare at my tiled ceiling. How can Father just marry me off? How can he refuse me an education? I just don’t understand any of this, and to make things even more confusing, I think I might actually be attracted to my fiancé.
The sun rises, and so do I. Alexis brings breakfast as I finish getting ready and silently leaves me to my thoughts. I’m going to have to figure out what classes I’ll need to miss. If this is my last semester working with children I want to be there as much as possible.
When I finish eating, I start drafting a letter to the school letting them know I will be out on royal business as per the King’s orders. Writing the letter takes me longer than I expect because my mind wanders back and forth from my future to Arden. Who inevitably will also be my future.
By the time I finish my letter, Alexis is waiting to take me to lunch in the tea room with my sister. She refluffs my hair and ties my bows a few more times before she deems me worthy to leave.
“Alexis, I’m fine. Let’s go before lunch gets cold.” I stop her from fluffing my skirt again.
“I know, miss. I just want you to look nice.”
“For what?” I ask her, it’s just lunch with my sister.
“Lunch,” is all she says as she pushes me out of the door. Who’s in a hurry now?
The tea room is empty when I enter, so I follow Alexis to my seat and let her go as soon as I’m
seated.
The quiet doesn’t last long as Kraus and my sister enter talking animatedly about something. Behind them enters a quiet and stern Arden. Now Alexis’s worry about my appearance makes sense. She knew more than me.
“Good afternoon, everyone,” I say as June and Kraus take seats across from me and Arden joins my side of the table.
“Good afternoon. How did everyone sleep?” Kraus’s voice is friendly and I appreciate his effort at trying to break the ice.
“Well.” June is the only one who answers him.
“And you two?” He directs his question with a tone.
Arden answers him aloud and I just give him a nod. The room quiets except for everyone pouring tea and stirring sugar in.
“Alright, well.” The room grows awkward. We sit in a silence until service comes in and begins placing meals around in front of us.
“Did you cook this too?” Arden asks before uncovering his plate.
“No. But if its Sydney’s Saturday favorite you are going to wish I did,” I answer back.
June and Kraus silently watch our interaction while opening their napkins and placing them on their laps. Arden doesn’t pick his up and properly arrange himself. Instead, he lifts his lid cover and takes a peak at his meal.
“Haggis? Is your chef Scottish?” he asks with a smile. I didn’t expect that reaction. Most people cringe when they see Haggis here. We’ve had it since we were kids, but I know our guests tend to request a separate meal.
“Aye, she is,” I say with a horribly inaccurate Scottish accent.
Everyone laughs and Arden picks up a fork, digging straight in. I see his lack of etiquette and make a mental note about him needing a class for that, if Father doesn’t force it anyways. The meal passes quickly and conversation slowly picks up as we talk a little about everything. From his apparent love of Haggis to if we have cleared our schedules.
Alexis should deliver my letter to the headmaster at my school when she makes her weekly run to town tomorrow. So, I should be taken care of. Arden has moved his meeting back and arranged to only have to work in his workshop when he can. I don’t ask, but I’m curious about what he’s actually working on in there.
June and Kraus honestly only talk to keep the conversation flowing and I catch on pretty quick to their game, they want us to make friends. So I don’t answer or speak up unless it’s to Arden, which I’m not sure if it’s playing into their hand more because I’m only talking to him, or if it’s making it harder on them like I wanted.
We leave lunch after more time than we had planned passes and I bypass going back to my room and make my way down to my garden. A little time alone to refresh.
I turn on my small radio as loud as it will go and start preening my flowers. I clip away the dead and try to spruce up the beautiful and new. Everything is vibrant in here, thriving in this warm house. Some days, I wish I could live out here. Everything is so peaceful and the colors of the flowers are welcoming, there is plenty of room and food out here. Sometimes, after a particularly bad day, I think about moving out here. As silly as it is.
When everything is watered and I’m out of things to do, I pick up one of the books I have sitting out and read. I go chapter by chapter until the greenhouse starts to get dark. A knock on the glass door brings me from my focused reading and I stand to greet whoever is coming in.
“It’s time for dinner,” June calls in as she opens the door. Her hair is a bit messier than earlier, like she has been running her hands through it, but her mood looks to be happy.
“Do we have to eat with Father?” I ask, only half joking. He still hasn’t punished me for my behavior last night and I know it is coming.
“Come on, he will be madder if you don’t.” She gives me a sympathetic smile and we walk arm and arm into the house. Alexis let me know I was given the night off this morning, but I still direct us through the kitchen to check on everyone. I say hello to everyone as I go through, but let go of June when I see Evana on the other side of the kitchen very focused on something she is writing down. My feet move quickly and I pull my dress up so I don’t trip. Evana hears my clacking heels and turns to see me. We both throw our arms around each other in a tight embrace.
“How are you? How was your trip with Momma Kylie?”
She lets me go and smiles big. “Everything was beautiful. Thank you so much for arranging for us to get to go.” She hugs me again and I’m thrilled to see her so full of life. They deserve this trip. Evana’s mother Kylie has worked in our kitchen with Sydney for Evana’s whole life, she basically grew up working here. She hasn’t seen anywhere but inside our palace walls and the farmers market, and she deserved to see everything else. So, I set up a trip where they got to tour with my uncles as they went to visit every providence. They had to cook for them, but during most days they were free to roam the city as well.
“I am so happy you had such a good time. Did your mother enjoy it?” I ask as June catches up to me and stands with us.
“Yes, I think she may have a thing for one of your uncles.” She giggles.
“Which one?” My eyes widen with excitement. They both have been single for quite some time. Uncle Donald got a divorce after having his children, we were all very young when that happened. Then Uncle Mathew never married, he has children, but to be honest I never questioned how they came into our lives.
“Donald. Our second week into the tour, he started suggesting that we attend dinners with them instead of cooking for them. I think my mother was in awe of him.”
June clears her throat, reminding me that she is there. “Oh, Evana, this is June. My sister.”
Evana gets a flash of panic before curtsying and saying, “Your Highness.”
I pull her up from her greeting, “Oh stop it. It’s just June.”
“No, you should let her appropriately greet me, and she should have greeted you in that manner as well,” June says to me patronizingly, and then directs her interest to Evana. “You work in this kitchen?”
“Yes, your Highness.” She does the customary nod when speaking. Such a silly rule, having to match your actions with your words to show grace and honor at our presence.
“Then you should act like it. Come on, Mackenzie, we have a dinner to attend.” I turn and follow her, to stunned to speak. As I make it to the doorway, I turn back to make eye contact with Evana and mouth the words, “I’m sorry.”
I hold my tongue from tearing apart June. How could she even remotely speak to anyone like that? What is wrong with her? I would think she would be completel
y understanding after spending the last six months among civilians and living like a normal person. Some people set us up on pedestals, and that the service we have puts us above them, but maybe that isn’t how it should be seen. We have the means to hire people to do things, all we are doing is simply giving them jobs. They aren’t servants. My maidens are paid for their work and given a home. Alexis, while making sure my life runs smoothly, is also my friend. How can June treat them like anything other than that? Is she more like Father than I thought?
As we enter the service room, we take seats near Father’s empty chair and wait for his entrance. When he comes in, I cringe, but try to straighten so no one notices. His eyes are dark, as they have been for some time, and it disturbs me more and more each time I see it.
“Good evening, let’s begin,” he says and takes a seat. Our guest count is low tonight, just a few advisors and us. So conversation flows between them and my father easily enough that June and I eat in silence before dismissing ourselves at the appropriate time and leaving. I don’t follow June through the house, but instead take a longer route to my room.
Alexis beats me back and looks to be waiting on me.
“Hello, Alexis,” I say, coming in.
“Would you like help tonight?” she asks very professionally.
“No, but I would like a friend. Just stay, spend some time. I can ready myself for bed.
She gives me a nod and stays put, just giving me the company I need. I don’t speak up much, but instead ready myself for bed and then let her go when I finally feel ready to be alone.
Before she goes, I give her a hug and I think it startles her a little bit, but from now on I will be a better friend to her. I’ll be more focused on treating people as equals.
I sleep fitfully and maybe it’s because I’m overtired, but I don’t feel rested when morning comes. Alexis comes for breakfast and I make her split the large meal with me. She should eat more, her small frame makes me look curvy, which isn’t something I’ve ever been called before.
After eating, Alexis leaves for her weekly trip to town and I spend the day locked in my room reading. Ignoring any and all knocks of people coming to retrieve me for meals or activities. Whatever it is, I refuse to participate today. Everything has been too much and not having the ability to have any say in everything happening in my life, I just can’t participate in today. June interrupts my plans as evening is arriving, and lets me know that I have to be in the family study at sunrise for my first lesson with the Queen’s advisors.
These ladies haven’t been in the palace since my mother passed, and once I’m trained properly they will pass their titles on to their apprentices, which I will have to elect over the next few weeks.
That’s the silly thing about the position, most people train for their future their entire life, this position comes from my choosing. However, typically they get years of training, but father hasn’t much faith in my decision making, clearly. So, I doubt I will even get to choose my own advisors.
I tune back into my book, a whirlwind romance about soulmates. Two people destined to be together, and I wonder if Arden could ever be mine, could he be my soulmate? We barely know each other yet we are fated to be married.
From my bench seat by the window, I watch the sunset over my garden and greenhouse, in all of its beautiful splendor. The colors mirror my mood, dark shades of angry reds and oranges that fade into black. Before letting all of my emotions consume me, I resume my reading and before I know it, I’m waking up to the sun rising.
“Oh no!” I’m late if I’m not already in the study and the sun is coming up. Where is Alexis? She would usually wake me.
I change out of my pajamas into the first thing I find, which is a pair of tattered and torn jeans a hoodie with the Grantafe University logo on the front. Not even bothering to put shoes on, I slide on socks as I rush out of the door. This isn’t something I could be seen publicly in, even if it is something someone my age would wear. An unfair standard if you ask me.
“Good morning,” I say to everyone as I rush through the door.
“Good morning, Princess.” A chorus of ladies answers me. My eyes tear a little at seeing these ladies, they were my mother’s closest friends and they haven’t been around since her death. I break protocol and hug every single one of them.
“I’m so sorry I’m late. I overslept,” I tell them as I hastily take a seat on one of the closest couches.
“We will assume that is the reason for your informal outfit as well?” Arden’s voice comes from behind them and my heart starts thumping violently. Why is he here?
I let out an involuntary squeak and clench my fingers around the pillow I’ve pulled into my lap. My hair is in a messy bun and I’m faceless, as I’ve had to bypass putting makeup on in my rush.
“Good morning, Arden,” I answer, and the ladies watch us with slight smiles.
He stands from his leaning seat against the desk and makes his way to sit next to me. “Good morning, Princess.”
“Now that we are all here, let’s begin on expectations. First we are going to go over what you two are allowed to do in public during your courting, and how to make statements to the press that are preapproved by the King,” Lynn, my mother's head advisor, tells us.
Hours pass, meals come and we eat, and before I know it today’s lessons are over. Everything passed quickly and I haven’t taken so many notes freehand since my first year of teaching. The rules of what we are allowed to do in public are insane, and will take a lot of practice. Now that we are courting, I’m not allowed to be escorted by anyone else, unless they are family. By father’s rules I’m to remain quiet when in public and let Arden do the talking.
Those are two of the hundreds of rules and requirements we went over today. As everyone begins packing up, I watch Arden and he doesn’t look at all overwhelmed, like me. Which in a weird way annoys me and endears me to him. That was a lot to take in and it is only day one.
“Will you be attending all of my Queen’s meetings with me?” I ask as we both stand to leave the now almost empty room.
“No, although your father would prefer it that way. I have other things I will have to attend and meetings he still wants me to go to. We have another meeting in two days together as far as I know.” He holds the door open for me.
“Will that be another day of rules?” I joke, but prepare myself in case it is.
“No, actually we’ll learn how to physically interact. So, yes some rules, but the afternoon is dance lessons. June tells me you enjoy dancing.” The hall is barely wide enough for both of us to fit down it, so we walk huddled together.
“I do enjoy dancing. Do you?” I ask hopeful.
“Honestly, I’ve never done it. I wouldn’t say I think I’ll enjoy it, but I understand it will be something in our lives, so for you, I will try.” His comment is hard, and I think he’s fighting himself through it.
We come to the part of the hall where he turns to leave and I start up the stairs to my bedroom. We both pause at the mouth of the hall, looking to each other for a sign of whether or not to split apart and go our separate ways. The decision is made for us when footsteps approach from behind us and I move up the stairway to let a few advisors pass. My mother's now greying friends, stop and dote on me for a moment before giving me hugs, cheek kisses and loving smiles on their way out.
“They adore you, I hope you know that,” he tells me and it warms my heart. I haven’t seen them in years and that makes me a little sad.
“They were my mother’s best friends,” I tell him solemnly.
“I can tell, they clearly loved her too. I’m sorry for your loss,” he tells me, stepping closer to the bottom of the staircase that I’m standing on.
With the height I’ve gained being on the first step, we are almost eye to eye. I give him another once over and his ruggedness attracts me in a way that the boy’s Father had paraded around here before haven’t.
“Thank you. She was a beautiful...”
I’m not even sure... Soul? My mother was everything my father isn’t: sweet, kind, thoughtful, caring and most of all benevolent no matter what came her way.
“I understand.” He takes my hand and gives it a squeeze.
I feel the urge to lean forward and kiss him out of nowhere and I think he wants to as well with how his eyes soften to look at me.
“Thank you for participating today, it’s nice to not sit through this alone,” I tell him with a smile.
He gives me a nod, and turns when his name is called.
My spine stiffens and my breath hitches at the recognition of my father coming. Arden’s eyes harden at my reaction and he tells me, “Go.”
I turn and make my way up the steps hurriedly, closing myself in my room as quick as possible. My outfit would still outrage Father, so avoiding him is best.
Chapter 4.
Alexis is waiting in my room with a hot bath already drawn. She gives me a smile and I dismiss her before stripping to soak. I stay in until my skin is wrinkly and the water is barely lukewarm. My muscles are relaxed as I change into pajamas and crash for the night.
I spend the next day in another lesson with the ladies, and learn all about properly receiving guests. How to plan for their arrival all the way until their departure. The lesson takes the whole day and I even plan a mock guests trip here from their home land. It feels good when they tell me that I’ve done it right on my first try, but I’m still not sure I could do it on my own without them.
Like the night before, Alexis meets me in my room with a bath ready. Unlike yesterday, I don’t dismiss her, instead I ask her to stay and we talk about my upcoming duties as queen and if she plans to stay as my maiden.
“If you will have me, miss, I will serve all of my days.” Her words wrap around my soul and give it a gentle squeeze, I’m not sure what I have done to deserve her unwavering loyalty, but I am so thankful for it.
I sleep peacefully again and look forward to my classes with Arden again. My morning is peaceful and I put some extra care into my appearance. Alexis helps me with hair and makeup, and I wear a dress that’s more form fitted than my usual choices, while still feeling casual.
