by Annie Jocoby
Trapped
by
Annie Jocoby
Books by Annie Jocoby
Beautiful Illusions
Deeper Illusions
End of Illusions
Broken
Saving Scotty
Ever After
Fearless
Secrets and Lies
Please note that Fearless, Secrets and Lies and Trapped is related to these above books, as the main character, Dalilah, is the daughter of Iris and Ryan, who are the hero and the heroine of the Illusions books.
Chapter 1
Luke
Dalilah had just called me, and, once again, I started to feel apprehensive. I hated that she just said those words again – that we need to talk. The last time she said something like that to me, she dumped me. At any rate, those words sounded just ominous to me.
“Okay, Dalilah, are you coming home, or would you like to meet me somewhere?”
“I’m in the city,” she said. “Could you meet me on the corner of 5th and Park? I’m in a Starbucks here. I’m so sorry, I would like to come home, but I need to stay in the city, too. There’s something that I need to do, and I need you by my side to do it.”
That sounded more encouraging to me. That she needed me by her side, as opposed to something else. I relaxed a little bit. “Okay, I’ll be there. Just give me about an hour or so. I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Luke?”
“Yes?”
“I love you. I really, really do.” At that, she started to cry softly, and I got concerned. What was going on? Did she see a doctor without telling me? Was she really sick?
“I love you too. I’ll see you in a few.”
I shook my head as I got into the shower and got dressed. It was my dream that we had made it through our traumas, and came out the other side. But did we? Was there something else, something worse than ever, which greeted us? I couldn’t imagine what that would be, but Dalilah wasn’t the kind of person who would just start crying for no reason at all.
My apprehension grew as I boarded the subway to make it to Fifth and Park. My heart was in my throat, absolutely. I didn’t know why it seemed that happiness was always in reach, yet always so very far away. Too far away, it seemed. It was like the Greek myth about Tantalus – the fruit was always just beyond his reach, and the water was just beyond his mouth to drink. That was his fate. That was his punishment. It seemed appropriate, because I had felt like Tantalus since the day that I met Dalilah.
Happiness was just around the corner, until it wasn’t.
When I got to the Starbucks, and saw Dalilah’s tear-stained face, I knew. I knew that happiness was just out of reach, once more.
“What is it, Dalilah?” I asked, sitting down next to her. I took her hand and kissed it, and then kissed her forehead. “Please don’t tell me that you’re really sick.” God forbid. Maybe she had a terminal disease. I tried to put that thought out of my mind, but it still crept into my brain until it became something that I simply couldn’t shake.
She shook her head, but just cried more. Finally, after a few minutes, she just said “I don’t know what to say. How to say this. I just don’t know.”
“That’s okay,” I said. “You can tell me when you’re ready.”
She cried for a few minutes, and then took a deep breath. “Okay,” she said. “Before I tell you what I need to tell you, I first have to give you a kind of dry lecture on New York family law. I know that this is going to seem out of place, but you need to know this so that you can know that what I have to do is something that is absolutely necessary. I’ve tried to think my way around this, but nothing is coming to me just yet.”
I relaxed a little bit. It sounded like she wasn’t, in fact, going to tell me that she had a terminal disease or a severe sickness. I nodded my head. “Okay, go on with the dry lecture,” I said with a smile.
Another deep breath from her. “So,” she began. “There’s this concept in New York law, and most any state law, really, called putative father. That means if there is a child conceived during a marriage, that child is presumed to be the child of the husband in that marriage.”
My heart started to quicken. I suddenly knew exactly where she was going with this, and all of her sickness in the past week or so was starting to make sense. Still, I didn’t interrupt. She obviously had to tell me everything, and I was going to let her.
She nodded her head. “There’s also a standard used by judges known as the best interest of the child. That means that a judge has discretion on anything legal that involves the child. There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to issues such as child custody and whether to allow DNA evidence or a paternity action during a divorce proceeding.”
I took a deep breath. “Dalilah, I know where you’re going with this,” I said. I suddenly felt like jumping for joy that she was pregnant, hopefully with my baby. But that feeling was tempered by the sobering thought that the baby might not be mine at all, and that Dalilah apparently was none too happy about it. I knew why- from what she was telling me, it sounded like Nottingham would have rights to the child, no matter who was the actual father. Just because he blackmailed her into marrying him.
She started crying harder. “Yes, Luke, I’m pregnant. I’m not sure how far along I am. Not very, because the home pregnancy test I took just recently indicated pregnancy. But I am pregnant. I know that it’s yours, Luke. I can feel it in my gut.”
“I don’t understand,” I said. “How can that be? You started to feel nauseated right after you and I made love. Don’t those symptoms come on later?” My heart started sinking. Perhaps the baby wasn’t mine at all.
“Yes, usually,” she said. “But sometimes women start feeling it right away. Nobody can explain why, but sometimes it just starts really early. Within a couple of days.”
I wasn’t convinced. I understood that Dalilah had sex with Nottingham. She had explained that to me when she and I got back together – that she felt that she needed to submit to keep him happy. Another sacrifice that she made for me, and that was the worst one of all, she said.
How could she really know who was the father in this situation?
“Okay,” I said. “Now, calm down. We’ll get through this. No matter what, I’m not running. We’ll get through this together.”
Even as I said those words, though, I wasn’t convinced. I knew as well as she that the child would be Nottingham’s, no matter what, and that Nottingham would screw up that child royally.
She shook her head. “Oh, Luke, you don’t know the things that I know. The children of men like him – they’re awful. No morals, entitled. Not to mention the fact that he’s abusive. What kind of a chance would my child have with that kind of an influence in his or her life? I would be bringing in a child that would have little chance of living a normal and happy life. I mean, I will provide as much guidance and love as I can, as will you, I know, but I will only be half of the equation. I just don’t see how it can work.”
I got up abruptly and started to pace. Dalilah helped me out of my jams, so now it was time for me to do the same. “Okay,” I said, “let’s brainstorm this.” That was my first instinct. I didn’t want to look at the situation emotionally, because if I did, I knew that I would demand that she keep the child. Because I knew in my own gut that the baby would really be mine. “Is there any way that a judge will allow a DNA test to prove who is really the father?”
Dalilah nodded her head. “I saw an attorney today. She said that it would entirely depend on what judge we get. Some judges will allow it, others won’t. Unfortunately for us, Nottingham is friendly with most of those judges, which complicates matters further.”
“But you and I can still do a DNA test to show that I’m the dad, right? I mean, there’s n
othing stopping us from doing that, right?”
“Of course,” she said. “We can do a private DNA test, but whether or not it’s allowed in court is another matter. And, even if it is allowed in court, whether or not a judge will actually sever Nottingham’s rights is still another matter.” She shook her head. “It’s all so complicated.”
“So,” he said. “A judge doesn’t allow it, and we appeal that decision. What about that?”
“Appeals courts won’t overturn a decision unless it was some kind of gross error. Gross error means that no reasonable judge would make the decision that the trial court judge made, given the facts and circumstances. In this case, there’s no way that an appeals court will strike down the trial court if they deny the request to admit the DNA evidence. Nottingham and I were still together under the same roof right before this baby came into being. It would be entirely reasonable for a judge to decide not to disturb Nottingham’s rights to the child.”
I shook my head. Dalilah had done her homework, of course. “Sounds like you’ve been reading up.”
“I did look at case law,” she said. “Of course.”
I put my hands behind my neck and lowered my head. “Dalilah,” I said. “I can understand the predicament that you’re in. I really can. And, if it weren’t for this whole Nottingham situation, I’d be over the moon with joy. I know that we’re young, but I’d love to have a child with you.” I didn’t express the fear that I couldn’t really provide for the child. I knew that I had to use the fact that a baby was on the way to work harder than ever to get a foothold in the art scene. I would be a great provider for both Dalilah and the baby, I just knew it.
“Well,” Dalilah said. “I would be overjoyed, too, Luke. It’s my dream to have a beautiful baby with you. But that’s not the situation that we’re looking at. The odds are long that Nottingham won’t have at least split custody with this baby, and I can’t bring a child into the world knowing that Nottingham is going to have a chance to make the child’s life hell. Not to mention the fact that his hatred for me would probably cause him to take all of that out on the baby. How can I bring a baby into the world knowing all of this?”
I paced the floor. “Dalilah, please. Don’t make a hasty decision. You just have to have faith that it will all work out fine. We’ll find a judge who will allow DNA evidence and will be willing to sever Nottingham’s parental rights. Or we’ll prove that Nottingham will be an unfit father, which will give you all the rights. Something can be done, Dalilah. You just have to believe that it will all work out in the end.”
“Luke, don’t be naïve,” she said. “Nottingham’s attorney, according to the attorney I saw this morning, is an aggressive shark. Don’t even think that we can prevail in a custody action if the judge refuses to allow DNA evidence. It won’t happen. I’ll be lucky if Nottingham doesn’t end up with sole custody, as soon as everything is said and done.”
I bit my lip. “There’s a way out of this, Dalilah. There has to be. I mean, if this is my kid, I don’t think that…” I shook my head, as the enormity of what was about to happen came down on me. Dalilah maybe was carrying my child, and she wanted to kill him or her. I fought back tears. “Do you believe in something, Daliah? Something larger than us?”
Dalilah took a deep breath. “I don’t know,” she said. “Intellectually, I don’t. Emotionally, I’d like to believe that this world is not all there is.”
“But nobody really knows,” I said. “Is that safe to say?”
“Of course. Everybody thinks that they know, but nobody really does.”
“So, what happens to this baby? Does this baby just lose his or her only chance to live? Or do you think that maybe the spirit will just go on and have a chance with somebody else?”
“Luke, I know what you’re saying,” she said. “I’ve actually had the same questions myself. Which is why this decision is far from easy.”
“But what if it is this life is this child’s only chance? Maybe he or she will be the next Beethoven or Madame Curie.”
“Or the next Ted Bundy or Hitler,” Dalilah said. “I’m not persuaded by that argument.”
“Okay,” he said. “But think about all the children who came into this world unwanted. Some of them have gone on to do great things. And there are plenty of children who aren’t necessarily great, but the parents can’t imagine life without them. Children aren’t always convenient, Dalilah. They’re often a surprise. But the parents usually love them anyhow, and are so grateful that they didn’t terminate them when they had the chance.”
“I understand all of that,” she said. “But this is a unique situation, don’t you think? In this case, there won’t be two loving parents bringing the child up. There will be one loving one and one abusive monster involved. The chance that this child is going to grow up being completely messed up is exponentially more than with children who come into the world with two sane people as parents.”
“But what if it’s mine?” I said. “I think that it is. I know that I also have a gut feeling that I’m the dad. When you told me that you were pregnant, I just had the feeling that you were carrying my child. I don’t want….I really don’t want my child to die.”
Dalilah, all at once, started to look angry. “I know that, Luke. Don’t you think I know that? I want this child so much. I really do. If I weren’t married to Nottingham, it would be a welcome thing. Even though we’re young, and neither of us have much money, I still would want this baby with you. But that’s not the situation here.”
I sat down, and took her hands. I looked into her eyes. “Dalilah, I’m not a religious person at all. I don’t know what I believe. I think that I do believe in something. Not sure what. But I do believe in fate and faith. You have to have faith that this will all work out for us in the end. Something will happen that will ensure that Nottingham won’t get his depraved hands on this baby. It’s going to be stressful, and it’s going to be hell, but it will work out in the end. But if you terminate now, there’s no chance for it working out in the end. And you might deprive both of us of something really wonderful.”
Dalilah started to shake her head. “Luke, please. I don’t want this to come between us.”
“How can it not? Even if the baby is legally his, it might actually be mine. How can this situation not come between us?”
“What if I’m pressured into having the baby, and everything that I predict comes true? Nottingham gets custody, and proceeds to make the child’s life hell. I’ll be dealing with that for the rest of my life. Won’t that come between us, too? You’re going to resent me for terminating, but I might resent you for talking me out of it.”
I sat down, and put my head in my hands. Another impossible situation we were in. Damned if we did, and damned if we didn’t.
I wished so much that I had a crystal ball that would tell me how all of this was going to shake out. She was absolutely right – there was a chance that this baby was going to cause an interminable amount of grief. I foresaw a heated custody battle, and Nottingham doing his best to screw up the child. Dalilah was going to go through hell, and so would I. There probably would be no way around it.
So, I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind. “We run. We go and live in another country, and Nottingham won’t find us. We change our names and our identities, and we run. That’s what we do. That’s what we do, Dalilah. We run.”
To my surprise, Dalilah actually looked hopeful. “That could work,” she said. “I have some Irish relatives. Distant ones, for sure, as they’re the descendants of my grandma Maggie’s cousins. At least one of those descendants is living in London as we speak. His name is Liam. I don’t know much about him, but maybe my dad could get in touch with him and see if he could put us up for a spell. Just until we can get used to that city and find our way around it.”
I nodded my head. London actually sounded like an awesome idea to me. The art scene there was thriving, especially for my kind of cutting edge works, and Dalilah
’s, too. And Paris was just a train ride away. “London,” I said. “I love that idea. But what if Nottingham tracks us down there? I was actually thinking of something more like Siberia or Bora Bora.” I was only half-joking, really. London sounded like a heavenly idea, but it wasn’t exactly the most inauspicious place. Nottingham Industries was international, which meant that Nottingham would be doing business in London. The chances of us running into him would be slight, but still a problem. And if he runs into us and sees that there’s a child…I shuddered to think such a thing.
“No, Luke,” she said. “We’ll just have to do a good job of covering our tracks. Living like two people in the witness protection plan. I don’t quite know how we’re going to be able to change our identities, but perhaps that won’t even be a problem. London is a big place, Luke. We could get lost in there. Nottingham won’t know to look there for us, either. And, best of all, we’d both have a fresh start with our art. I’ll be sad to leave my family, of course, but Nick owns a house in Italy, and my dad has a winery there, too. They go to Europe all the time. We’ll still be able to see them.”
Was this going to work? It didn’t matter, it had to be done. Even if it didn’t work, we had to at least try. It was a plan, which was better than the other plans that we managed to cook up. It was infinitely better than terminating the child, and also infinitely better than letting the child be ruined by Nottingham. Of that, I was sure.
Of everything else, I was less sure.
Chapter 2
Dalilah
So, we were going to run. Was it the ideal situation? Hell, no. The ideal situation would be that there wasn’t a baby at all. But it did seem to be the best solution, considering the circumstances.
I really didn’t see any way around it. That I would be charged with possible kidnapping if Nottingham ever found out about the baby and the fact that I ran to keep it from him, was not even on my radar. Luke and I were going to have to take a chance that we would never be found.
