Brooke traced the outline of his shoulder tattoo. “Tell me,” she said simply.
“It’s my family,” he said. “The ocean, the land, the people. It’s a very old design, my father and grandfather had elements of it too.”
“And Holo?”
“He has this,” Kai pointed to the row of diamond shapes making a snaking pattern around the outside of the bold circle that engulfed the whole of Kai’s shoulder and a portion of his chest. “His is more modern, and it was done with needles but he wanted this in it. It’s a family tradition.”
She frowned. “What you mean it was done with needles? All tattoos are done with needles, aren’t they?” Then her face showed realization. “No way.” She ran her fingers over the marking again. “This was done with chisels, the old-fashioned way? Oh my god, that must have taken ages, and hurt like hell.”
He nodded. “It took a while. But it didn’t hurt, really. You go into a trance. Someone is singing the whole time. Holo was there. Some other people. It’s an occasion.”
“Some occasion.” She blew out a huff of air. “So why didn’t Holo do his that way?”
“He—” Kai stopped, unsure what to say. “He left home quickly after our parents passed. I guess he just wasn’t there enough for anyone to work through the process with him.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, although he wasn’t sure if she was sorry his parents died or that Holo hadn’t been home much since. It didn’t matter either way. She felt an old pain in him that she hadn’t sensed before.
He put his hand on her arm and traced the outline of the surfer and birds in her tattoo. “What about you? You said your brother got his to remember where he’d been, how close he’d come to death. What about yours?”
She paused, looked down at her arm and then back at him. “You were right about it.”
He frowned, trying to remember what he’d said at the time.
“You said it was about me coming out from beneath my brother’s shadow. About flying solo.”
“And I was right?”
“Mostly.” The breath that she took was long and a little shaky and Kai stilled himself completely to let her speak. To let her get out whatever it was that she clearly needed to say. “I got the tattoo because I wanted to see the future marked on me. You were right about me being under my brother’s shadow. I was surfing in women’s contests sure. But whenever anyone found out that I was his little sister, all they wanted to talk about was Ashton’s form. How he’d just done in his last race. How he was going to do in the next one. That’s how it is in surfing.” She looked off into the past of her memory.
“And then, suddenly, that was lifted,” she continued. “He was hurt and lost and scared and so I did everything I could for him to make it better. I said that to him, that I would do whatever he needed. I totally meant it.” She paused and for a moment Kai wondered if that was it. And then she started talking again. “But I guess I got that design because it’s so symbolic of being free.”
He nodded. “And you couldn’t tell your brother that.”
She shook her head. “How could I? He never meant for me to be under his shadow. He did everything he could to encourage me. To support me. But he was focused on making it himself. He was great at surfing. The best. His career took off without him having to really push hard to make it happen. He only had so much time to give to me. And then, when all that was ripped away from him, I couldn’t rejoice in being able to forge ahead on my own.”
“Of course not.” He said it gently. Hoping that she felt encouraged to share further. Sensing that if she got it all out now it would be a type of truth that would, perhaps, start deep healing for her.
“Then I started surfing properly. Winning things. Getting placed. Finally making it onto the WSL circuit. And then this goes and happens.” She pointed at her shoulder. “I have to get back into the circuit. I have to. Not just for me. For him.”
Kai stroked her cheek. “All those expectations, all that pressure. No wonder you were injured.”
She huffed. “Please don’t.”
He stopped stroking her and cupped her cheek with his whole hand. She leaned into his palm. “Sorry,” he said. “But you have to let go of all of that. It’s sitting on your shoulders so heavily. It will always weigh you down. Always be this huge burden you’re dragging around with you if you let it stay there. How can you float, my Mistress Mermaid, with all that on you?”
“Pffft,” she said, pulling away from him, but her eyes were hopeful, looking, he realized for someone to tell her everything was going to be alright.
“You will get back on the circuit. But you need to start doing it for you. Not your brother.”
“I will. I do.”
“I mean it. All that stuff I told you about throwing yourself at the ocean? This is part of it isn’t it? This is why you fight everything so hard. What would it feel like to be free of all that?”
In a small voice, so small he had to lean even closer to hear her, she said, “I don’t know.”
He kissed her gently on the lips. “Perhaps you can practice with me,” he said.
She pulled back, looking him in the eyes, her dark irises making her eyes deep pits of confusion.
“You have to go back to your competition. I have to go back to Hawaii, to my other clients, to my practice. Perhaps we can practice being free with each other. Live for the here and now, no strings, no expectations, no thinking about what next. You can practice that with me and then you can use it in the ocean. Let me be your ocean for the next while.”
“Does that mean I get to ride you?” she said with a grin.
He laughed. “What the lady wants she will have,” he said and pulled her on top of him.
Chapter Twelve
“Really?”
Kai smiled at her and she ran and threw her arms around him. The night before had been amazing and she ached pleasantly after being in his bed and his arms, all night. And now, standing beside the resort swimming pool, was an incredible man holding her favorite surfboard.
“I got Summer to send it up.”
“You didn’t tell me. Bastard,” she said and punched him, not too lightly on the arm.
“Oh, shall I put it away. Sorry, I didn’t mean to push you too early,” he said, his face a mask of worry but his eyes dancing with light teasing.
“Enough. Gimme.” He handed over her board and she couldn’t help herself, she gave it a hug.
Twenty minutes later she was less infatuated with her board. Instead of heading to the coast as she’d figured they would, Kai had made her mount her board in the resort pool. Over and over again. There were barely any other guests so they had it to themselves but Brooke was acutely aware of Kai’s eyes on her as she wobbled up to standing.
“This is stupid. There’s no momentum, nothing to push against,” she said as she fell for the umpteenth time.
“You’re right.”
Brooke dragged herself up to sit on her board again and frowned at him. “So why are we doing this?”
“How are you feeling?”
“Knackered,” she said without thinking. The act of dragging herself back up onto her board over and over was always exhausting, whether she was in the ocean or not, but somehow, the lack of movement from the waves magnified the effort. Kai nodded. “Have a break.”
“No,” she said. “I can do this.”
“I know,” he said.
That gave her pause. She eyeballed him from the water. “That’s the point isn’t it? Today’s lesson, brought to you by me making an ass of myself: I don’t have to always push through it.” She put on a TV anchorwoman’s voice.
“Hey, you didn’t make an ass of yourself.”
“Says the guy standing nice and dry on the side of the pool.” She grinned wickedly and cupping her hand sent a stream of water at him, soaking his t-shirt.
“I can fix that.” He kicked off his flip flops and jumped into the pool, sending Brooke and her board rocking in the wake
. In two strokes he was at her side and tipped her into the water. She struggled as she was surrounded by bubbles and for a moment she was back under the waves, lost to the current, being dragged down to the rocky bottom. The panic that swept over her was fresh and raw. She wasn’t in a pool, she was lost at sea, her breath slipping away from her, her future being crushed by the weight of thousands of tons of water.
“Brooke. It’s okay. I got you. Hey, hey. I’m so sorry.”
And then she was at the surface and Kainui’s arms were around her and the water was beneath her. She was okay. Completely fine.
“It’s okay. I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. Come on.” He scooped her up and carried her to the edge of the pool. When she was settled on the edge he jumped out to sit beside her. “That was my fault entirely.”
“You don’t say.”
“What happened? One minute you were just below the surface and the next you were at the bottom, panicking.”
“I couldn’t see. All the bubbles and then…” she shuddered. “I couldn’t breathe.”
“You were right back there again. When you had the accident.”
It wasn’t a question but she nodded anyway.
“Well I guess that’s good then,” he said.
Turning to him she checked to see if he was joking. “Good that I just freaked out in a pool? What the hell? What if that had been in the ocean? What if I lost it out in big surf?”
“But you didn’t.” He said it gently and touched her on the face and despite wanting to hit him, she softened at his caress. “It was stupid of me to tip you like that without warning. But better you realize how close that trauma is to the surface, here, where you’re completely safe, than, like you say, in big surf.” Damn him. Brooke wanted to rage at him. To force him to admit that she was ready to get back in the water and compete again. But he was right. Again. Being on her board, even if it had been unsuccessfully, had made her hunger for the ocean again. And, she touched her shoulder, it felt good. She was sure she was ready.
He looked at her, hard. “Okay. We’re done here. We’ll head to the coast tomorrow.”
Her head whipped around to him so quickly she almost gave herself whiplash. “I must be still having flashbacks. I thought I just heard you say we were heading to the coast tomorrow?”
He laughed. “No flashbacks. Not in this moment. But now you’re aware of them you can work on some strategies to manage them. See a counsellor, make plans.”
She clambered into his lap and wrapped herself around him, pulling them both into the water. But this time, with his hard body tight against hers, the fear didn’t creep back into her.
That night, in his bed, he held her nestled in his arms and she stared at the ceiling, her body still thrilling from their lovemaking. She bit her lip and then voiced what had been eating at her since their session in the pool. “Am I going to be any good?”
He turned to her, a smart remark on his lips, she saw it. And then she saw his face drop when he realized she was serious. “You’re my Mistress Mermaid.” He said it so gently, with such effortless heart, that she almost melted. Instead she burrowed into his chest and let him hold her for a long moment. “Thank you,” she said.
She came out from the comfort of being in his arms and they lay there, side by side, gazing into each other’s eyes for the longest time. “I thought your eyes reminded me of an eagle’s,” she said. “But that’s not right. They’re more like a lion’s. Fierce, but loyal.”
“And free,” he said.
She smiled. “Yes. And free. But they’re warm. That’s why the eagle didn’t fit. Birds always seem so cold.”
“But lions are just big warm kitty cats? Is that what you’re trying to say?” He pulled her to him and then pushed her into the mattress, nudging her thighs open, pressing his weight into her form, his body hot and willing.
“That is not what I meant and you know it,” she said, laughing, but immediately turned on by his hot mouth on her neck.
He put a finger on her lips. “You’re going to be great. Soon enough. Don’t you want to enjoy what’s on offer here for a bit longer?”
He kissed her and in his kiss she thought she felt something shift. Something new and ready and ripe. They were going back to real life, she realized with a start. Together. She didn’t know what that was going to look like, but she was excited to find out.
#
“Shit it’s good to see you. Can I hug you? Does it hurt?”
Brooke laughed at her friend and dragged Summer in for a bear hug. She’d spent the day in the water and her shoulder had been fine. Great even. Sure, she hadn’t tackled any monster waves in the day’s set, but she’d done solid work. Even pulled off a few of her old tricks. And it had felt fantastic. She’d put Kai’s advice at the front of her mind and focused on keeping her arms free, her body light but solid. Her shoulder ached now. But not in a bad way. Just in a way that let her know she’d used her muscles. The rest of her body was thrilling by being back out in the water.
“I’ll take that as a yes. I thought you were supposed to be in rehab. Did he have you working out, like, every day?”
Brooke smiled. “Something like that.”
The three friends, Brooke, Maya and Summer were camped out in the same bar Brooke had sat at before she had ended up in a hot tub with Kai. The irony did not escape her and she looked around, baffled that she could feel so different after such a short time away.
“So spill. You look different. What else did you do other than weight training?” Maya asked.
Brooke laughed. “Honestly, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.” Summer narrowed her eyes.
“Well I spent a whole day folding linen napkins. And then hung out with this old woman and her granddaughter who decided I was some mermaid goddess or something. Then we got lost and not lost in the jungle, went swimming in this amazing water fall, Kai picked rice for a whole morning, I discovered that bird’s nest soup is actually made from bird’s spit and—”
Maya held up a hand. “Hold up. You folded napkins for a day? And what else? I thought you were supposed to be in rehab?”
“I was.” Brooke tried her best not to smirk, but part of her wanted her friends to marvel in the crazy time she’d had as much as she was.
Summer cocked her head to the side. “Something else is going on here.” “No,” Brooke said quickly. “He just uses methods you’d never usually think of. When you fold a napkin,” she mimed the motion, “it’s like paddling. Easy, repetitive muscle use. Or something like that.”
“I call bullshit.” Summer sat back and took a long pull on her beer, not taking her eyes off Brooke for a moment.
Maya looked between them. “She kissed him.”
“What?” Summer laughed then shook her head. “Hold outs both of you. And then what? All this,” she gestured up and down at Brooke. “Did not come from a kiss. Is he really that good?”
“He really is,” Brooke said and lifted her arm above her head.
“Awesome. Everyone figured you were out for the rest of the season.”
“Nope. I’m back. Well, not back tomorrow. But back for the Freak of the Reef. That’s the plan, anyway.”
“Rad. Have you told Ash?” Summer said. It was casual but there was more to the short sentence than the few words it contained.
“Has he said something?” she asked carefully.
“No. You know Ash. He likes to keep things tightly wrapped to his chest. Like someone else I know.”
“Okay. Well don’t tell him, okay? Not yet.”
Summer checked her, then nodded. “So. Kainui? You’re well and truly over Holo then?”
Brooke thought about the night before, thought about tracing Kai’s tattoo on his thigh with her tongue. “Yes. I think you could say that.”
Maya laughed. “Right. Enough with the holding out. We need a full report now thank you.”
Brooke smiled. “He’s pretty amazi
ng. I totally wrote him off as some sort of hippy to start with. Massage and mungbeans or whatever. But he actually gets me. It’s like the whole napkin thing. I was like you, pisssed off that I was wasting my time folding napkins when actually he had my recovery right at the center of it. I guess that’s it, he’s always thinking about me; what’s going to make me better. How I can improve my focus in the water. What I need to do to get me through the next phase of getting my technique back.”
“Sounds amazing,” Maya said with only the smallest hint of irony.
“Okay, okay. I’m gushing. But you guys. He gets me. He sees through all my shit and even when I mouth off and cause a scene he’s all, don’t worry about it, you’ll take something out of this. Stuff like that.”
“Cool. And is he hot in bed?”
Brooke poked her tongue out at Summer and then all three of them dissolved into laughter. She put her hand up to her mouth to half cover it and then quietened. “Amazing,” she said.
That got them. “Oh, my god. You’ve totally fallen for him, haven’t you?”
“Who’s fallen for who?” It was Ash and close behind him, Holo and Kainui. Brooke’s eyes widened thinking any of them had heard the candid conversation even while her heart was dealing with the question Summer had just posed. Had she fallen for Kainui?
“Me, babe. I’ve totally fallen for you,” Summer said smoothly and reached up to kiss Brooke’s brother on the lips. For a moment, the two of them were absorbed in only each other and Brooke had to clear her throat, loudly, to get Summer’s attention.
“Brooke was just saying that she’s feeling great,” Maya said to fill the gap.
Holo slapped his brother on the back. “Man’s a miracle worker. No doubt about that,” he said.
“It was Brooke who did all the hard work.” Kai said it matter of factly, and she looked in his face for any indication that he might have heard more of the conversation but there was nothing in his face to show he had.
“Well, this girl needs an early night.” Summer stood up and Ash threw his arm over her shoulder. “Couldn’t agree with you more,” he said.
The Wrong Brother for Brooke (Hot Tide Book 3) Page 10
