‘Dad, we’re not staying to eat,’ Valentine says.
‘I know, I know, I just put some tea on the stove for Abigail, surely you’ll stay for tea?’
‘Yes, that’d be lovely – and please, call me Abbie.’
‘Yeah, Dad, you sit, I’ll do it,’ says Valentine. His tone is cute. He talks to his dad as if he’s the parent and I can only imagine how close they must be.
We have tea and talk for what feels like only minutes, but as the clock hands move towards nine-thirty, Valentine ushers us out of the house with his dad calling for us to visit again soon. I’m so overwhelmed with the whole event and feel grateful for the helmet, which is hiding the tears streaming down my cheeks. Not sad tears, just a glum sort of feeling because Valentine’s mum wasn’t there.
∞~∞~∞~∞
One week merges into another and each day as I come home from work; Valentine arrives on my doorstep with a gift. Flowers, a coffee machine, sweet Italian non-alcoholic wine, and even a porcelain doll, which he says looked like me and he had to buy her. He isn’t wealthy and I don’t expect him to buy me tokens of love, but each little gift is so very special.
Hannah and I had made a deal when we first moved in together, that we weren’t going to have men stay over during the week; this way neither of us would ever feel uncomfortable in our own home. So, Valentine stays each night, until I’m ready to go to sleep. When he leaves my room, I wait for the tap on my window, and he gives me his last “goodnight” kiss. I love this kiss, the one that says, ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ He’s my Romeo – on a Kawasaki.
∞~∞~∞~∞
We look forward the weekend, when we can submerge ourselves into each other and not come up for air.
‘Princess?’ he says to me one night when we’re home alone. Princess? I smile. He’s watching the television, while I catch up with Lucy and her Aunt Charlotte; it’s been a long time since I’ve picked up this book. We’re sitting apart, each snuggled up in a large cane couch on opposite sides of the room. Heavy May showers fall outside and the fire is crackling peacefully. I’m in a pair of leggings and wearing a woollen jumper that hides my curves – much to Valentine’s distaste.
‘Yes,’ I reply, without looking away from the page.
‘Do you remember what we were talking about, on our first date?’
I don’t. I’m not even sure I remember much more than feeling absolutely drunk on his kisses. ‘Um, not really,’ I reply with a small smile, hoping this will get me out of trouble.
‘Well I do. We were talking about our souls and how attached I feel to you. How attached I felt as soon as I saw you.’
Oh yes! I remember. I smile, knowing my eyes are gleaming with admiration for this beautiful specimen of a man. He’s so profound.
‘I think I’ve figured out why.’ He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and looks straight at me. ‘You were a princess in another life, and I was your knight, sworn to protect you.’
I giggle and move across the room to curl up in his lap, where I belong. ‘I think you could be right.’
‘I’m serious!’ he says, pulling me into him and pushing my red curls back from my face. ‘I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I know our souls don’t die with our bodies.’
‘Well, I guess so, I believe that too. But, why are you so worried about what we were before?’
He shrugs and kisses me lightly. ‘I’m not worried, just find it strange, that’s all.’
‘Strange? That we met or that we’re together?’
‘Strange that our paths crossed when we’re so very different and we have already lived such different lives in this time – strange that we even found each other at all.’
‘Oh,’ I reply. ‘It could only be our destiny.’ I snuggle against his neck. He smells so delicious. I could just stay here forever.
‘Yeah, I think so too.’ He kisses my forehead and carefully moves out from under me, switching off the television with the remote. ‘Hang on, Princess,’ he mutters as he walks over to the CD player and turns it on. He grins at me, holding out his hand. ‘Dance with me.’
How can I say no? I find it very hard to say no to this man. I’m immediately drawn to him.
I love being wrapped in his arms. It’s warm and safe. I love the smell of his shirt and his aftershave. I find the nape of his neck and burrow my face in there. My lips rest against the skin where his shirt doesn’t quite cover his collarbone and he keeps his hands on my hips like a true gentleman.
We sway. He sings softly into my ear and I’m mesmerised. My heart is dancing too, swirling around and feeling quite triumphant.
‘Come on, Princess,’ he whispers. He takes my hand and leads me toward my room. ‘It’s time to step things up a notch.’
Chapter 5
I’m filled with panic. I wasn’t expecting this. What if I don’t do things right? What if he doesn’t like what he sees? Did I shave this morning? Or was that yesterday? Damn it, I don’t think I can do this!
Valentine stops me at the doorway of my bedroom and turns to me.
‘Please don’t worry, I won’t hurt you – remember, I promised?’
I bite my lip and nod.
He puts his hands up to my face and pushes my crazy curls back. ‘You’re beautiful. The most precious girl in this world to me, and I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.’
He turns the handle and opens my bedroom door.
My room. My big double bed with white Victorian-style bedding. My side table, stacked high with books and a photo of my family. And a small wardrobe overflowing with my clothes, and more books. This is my comfort zone. Only, right now, I don’t feel so comfortable.
Valentine closes the door behind us and in one swift move, he swoops me up and places me onto the bed. I stare up at him. He’s removing his t-shirt! He has more tattoos. A name, Mary, is tattooed just under his right collarbone; I know it’s his mum’s name. That’s really sweet. Oh boy. He climbs over me and positions himself so he can brush his lips against my neck. I feel a tingling sensation between my thighs and gasp.
‘I’m going to have your name tattooed here,’ he moves back and points to an area just above his left nipple. I glance at where he’s pointing quickly, suddenly very nervous about looking at his beautiful, naked chest. It’s smooth and perfect. My heart is pulsating so hard, that I’m sure it’s worked its way up into my throat.
I look up at his mouth and then move my gaze to his eyes. He leans in closer, his breath kissing the skin on my cheek and neck, as he groans softly. Pulling up my jumper and gently running his fingers along the base of my bra, my skin craves his touch. My stomach fills with butterflies as his lips caress my neck more firmly this time and as his tongue is sliding along my jaw ready to engulf my mouth, I’m immersed in unexpected ecstasy. There is no air, no time and no world – just us.
‘Relax, Princess,’ Valentine whispers.
He moves his hand down to my leggings and doesn’t stop. He pushes them from my hips and uses both hands to pull them down. He kisses my panties and moves his lips slowly to my hip bones. I feel his weight shift and he runs his gaze over my rigid body.
‘Relax.’
I let pure rapture take me, my heart and even my unimpressed intuition.
∞~∞~∞~∞
I don’t know how long I’ve slept for, but I awake wearing only my undies and a t-shirt. Valentine is gone.
My stomach flips. It’s light outside. I scramble out of bed and cautiously open my door. I can smell food. Hannah must be home.
I pull my hair up into a bun and put on my dressing gown. I have so much to tell her… well, not too much.
I stop at the kitchen door. And smile.
‘Oh, good morning, Princess!
There’s that voice I love. He’s standing at the stove cooking breakfast in his jeans; they’re hanging low on his hips and he’s wearing no shirt. I’m starving.
‘That was really nice,’ I smile timidly.
�
��Yeah, it was.’
I wrap my arms around his waist and lay my head on his back whilst he flips fluffy omelettes out onto our plates, garnishing them with pan-fried asparagus. I’ve been sent an angel and I can’t help but feel undeserving and suspicious. How and why is this man in my kitchen?
‘Coffee, Princess?’
‘Yes, please.’
He turns around and leads me to the dining table. ‘Sit here,’ he says gently, moving across to the coffee machine. ‘We’ll eat, and then I have to go and spend some time with Tyler.’
‘Oh.’ I know this sounded like it was laced with jealously, so I add, ‘Okay, that’s good. I need to unwind. I might do some painting or sketching.’
‘I’ll be back for dinner,’ he suggests, placing a hot cup of coffee in front of me and kissing my forehead. ‘I’ll cook spicy fried fish, okay?’
‘Okay.’ I lift the cup to my nose and take a deep breath. ‘Can you pass my tablets?’
‘Sure,’ he leans up to the shelf above the stove and I can’t help but feel a tinge of that ecstasy I was submerged in only hours before. The muscles in his back awaken my desire again. ‘You take these every day?’ he asks, snapping me out of my fantasy.
‘Since I was about seventeen. Just to keep my balance.’ Which is way off-course right now.
‘Well, maybe one day you won’t need them.’
‘I don’t think so.’ I sigh. My “condition” is a sensitive subject. ‘I’m pretty sure it’s a life-long thing. It’s not something I can put into words, so I’m not sure how to explain it to you.’ I place a tablet on my tongue and take a sip of the coffee to wash it down.
He brings our breakfast to the table and sits opposite me. ‘Well, sometimes we need help with feeling safe, I guess.’
‘I love you,’ I whisper.
‘I love you – infinity.’
There’s no going back now.
∞~∞~∞~∞
Sunday lunch after the church service becomes a regular event with my family, when Valentine isn’t with Tyler. He meets us after church and always brings my helmet for when we leave together. Mum is charmed by him, just as I knew she would be – but comments every so often about the fact that he is still married and he rides a motorbike. Dad tells me I have a nice glow in my cheeks and he is happy for me, but I know he doesn’t approve. The girls spend a lot of time ogling Valentine and Sam talks to him about singing in the band and music; taking every opportunity to tell me that Valentine is really “cool”.
Eventually Valentine never leaves. We’re inseparable. We just fit together. Like Yin and Yang. Like push and pull. Like... well, you get the idea. I’ve never felt like this. Love? No, it’s not that simple. I’d been in love with Christian, my high school sweetheart. I’d loved him until I made us both sick. I’d smothered him with so much blissful love that I’m sure he’d found it hard to breathe. Happiness, rainbows and butterflies; a mindless physical attraction ruled by teenage hormones and inexperience. I don’t see rainbows and butterflies, or happiness when I look into Valentine’s eyes. He takes me to a bottomless place, where there’s just us – a different kind of happy. A place, far away from everyone and everything. We could stay there and never come up for air and that would be just fine. I don’t want to. I just want to stay in Valentine’s eyes. I like it there and I know this is dangerous.
Hannah moves home when her mum is diagnosed with breast cancer. She wants to be there for the endless rounds of doctor appointments and treatment. I hate that she’s going through this horrifying experience and I feel the Black Dog lurking closer and closer every day.
In order to push my depression away, I allow my world to become even more consumed by Valentine. He quits Seduction, claiming he hasn’t got time for the band anymore. We hate being apart. We cook together, watch movies and dance in the lounge room. We spend our weekends partying and our weekdays in each other’s arms. I don’t read much anymore, but I think I’m okay with this; I know I only read to take my mind away, and I don’t want to go anywhere that Valentine can’t follow.
When we lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, he hums the tune to a song and I have to guess what it is.
He’s my music and I’m his words.
‘You make my legs tingle,’ I say to him one night, as we lay in bed playing our game.
‘No, that’s not the song I’m humming!’ he laughs, rolling onto me and smothering me with kisses.
‘I didn’t mean that!’ I laugh, trying to fight him off.
‘Oh, so I really do make your legs tingle?’ he says, poking my ribs. I am so ticklish; I can hardly answer him for running out of breath. ‘Yes!’ I gasp.
‘Good, because you make my whole body tingle,’ he says, kissing my face. ‘Your goddess hair,’ he bundles a handful of my cascading curls and kisses them. ‘Your eyes, your nose, your neck,’ he props himself up onto his elbow and brushes his lips toward my breasts, then grins up at me. I giggle and pull his face away from my chest. He’s going places I’m not sure I’m comfortable with. ‘I mean it, Princess, you make my whole body tingle,’ he says quietly, and I think he’s serious. He leans over me and when we’re cheek to cheek, he breathes the words, ‘I love you.’
‘I love you, more,’ I sigh.
‘I love you – infinity.’
∞~∞~∞~∞
Consciousness pulls me from slumber and the sound of dripping drainpipes remind me of where I am. I pull the covers up around my shoulders and snuggle into my pillow. It’s raining outside. Stretching my hand out and running my whole arm across the bed I realise Valentine is gone. I listen for any noises coming from the bathroom and open my eyes. It’s still dark. There’s a very soft light streaming underneath our bedroom door; I think it’s coming from the kitchen.
I sigh. Suddenly I’m thirsty, too, so I climb out of bed, wrap my dressing gown around me and teeter out into the kitchen. As I walk through the doorway, I see Valentine sitting at the dining table with his head lowered onto his arms. He sniffs. His shoulders shake. He’s crying.
‘Are you alright?’ I ask softly, so as not to startle him.
He lifts his head and sits up straight, rubbing his shirtsleeve across his face. ‘Sorry, I woke you, Princess,’ he says.
‘It’s okay. I noticed you weren’t next to me… What’s wrong?’ I’m worried and my heart is racing.
‘Come here,’ he says, gesturing me to sit on his lap. I don’t need to be told twice. I curl up and snuggle into his neck. ‘I’m fine, Princess, just had a bad dream, that’s all.’
‘Do you remember what it was?’ I’m fascinated with dreams. Why we think things when we’re asleep, that clearly make no sense. Why we dream of people who are either part of our daily life or just passing through. Why sometimes we wake up crying.
Valentine takes a deep breath. ‘I do remember. It’s a dream I have a lot. Of my brother and me, running through Belfast.’
‘Is that where you grew up?’ It suddenly hits me that he’s never really told me about his childhood. I know his father is Irish and his mother is from Greece. I know he has a younger brother and he came to Australia when he was about thirteen. Pretty limited knowledge really.
‘Yeah, Ireland. You might know there’s always been a lot of unrest there between the Catholics and Protestants?’ He speaks slowly and I feel immense sadness in his tone.
I stiffen and swallow down a lump, which has formed in my throat. He looks into my eyes. ‘I know a little,’ I clear my throat, hoping to mask my emotion. ‘Just what is shown on the news, though.’ I touch his face with both hands and kiss his lips softly.
He continued. ‘My brother was ten, when he died.’
‘He died?’ I gasp and tears well up in my eyes. The familiar feeling of dread and pain washes over me and I can’t hold it in; I begin to cry.
‘There was a bomb set off near our school, we were on the school bus and— ’
‘Shhh… don’t.’ I place my hand over his mouth. I don’t want to know the detai
ls, not now. I can’t stand to see him cry.
Valentine pulls me into a tight hug.
We stay like this for a long time. I don’t know how long, but eventually we stop crying. It’s quiet and I just stay cuddled up to Valentine, listening to him breathe.
‘You’ve lost your brother and your mum.’ I say these words as a statement to myself, not a question. I say them, just loud enough so the words stick together and find a place in my mind.
Valentine finally says, ‘Sometimes the look that Dad had on the night she passed away haunts me. And then I think of Tyler, and how I have failed him.’
I don’t know what else to say, except, ‘You haven’t failed him, because you’re still there for him. Failing him would be to leave him and never come back.’
Valentine squeezes me tight and then sighs again. ‘Come on, Princess, time to go back to bed.’
∞~∞~∞~∞
‘Happy birthday, Princess,’ Valentine whispers into my ear, as I try to focus on the new day. I’m twenty-one today.
‘I have to get ready for lunch… you’re coming, aren’t you?’ I watch his reaction with concern.
‘Of course, it’s your birthday, anything for you – especially today,’ he smiles. I can see that he isn’t happy about sitting at a table with my parents, not today. It’s obvious to both of us that they’re still waiting for me to come to my senses.
‘This is for you,’ Valentine holds out a small parcel, wrapped in silver paper. It’s from a jewellery store – covered in the store’s gift-wrapping. I know this because it has the name of the jewellery store written very discreetly in italics all over it.
Jewellery. In a small box. My heart is jumping around like a circus clown.
It can’t be an engagement ring. I’ve told Valentine I don’t want to speak of weddings until his divorce is final.
Infinite Completion (The Infinity Series Book 1) Page 5
