Embraced by the Shadows

by Mayra Calvani

  And her thoughts about God...

  She shivered, following him into the house. Though old, it was beautifully kept. Crossing the dark living room she could smell the light dust on the heavy velvet curtains, on the chandeliers. The light of the moon filtered through one of the windows and for a moment made the marble floor glow. The furniture was classical, as were the paintings on the walls.

  "The bedrooms are upstairs. There you'll find everything you'll need for the first few days. I'll show them to you tonight, after we rise. I didn't get you a lot of things because I wanted you to choose everything. We'll go on a shopping spree tomorrow. I want you to get whatever you like. Forget all your old clothes and things. They belong to the past. Everything must be new: clothes, jewelry, makeup, perfumes. Everything. I want to spoil you, to indulge your tiniest little whim,” he said impulsively, giving her hand a tight little squeeze.

  So generous ... But ... He seduced me, he knows he did, he didn't really give me a choice ... and now he's making up for it...

  He led her into another room, a study, presumably, filled with ceiling-to-floor bookcases and a state-of-the-art stereo system and a huge widescreen TV. “This is where I spend all of my time ... when I'm in the house,” he said.

  Propped against the wall was a large, beautifully wrapped package. Shiny red wrapping paper, sparkling golden ribbons.

  "That is for you,” Sadash said.

  She looked at him. She felt overwhelmed. Curiously, she walked up to it.

  "It looks so pretty. I'm almost afraid to tear off the paper."

  But she did.

  When she saw what was inside it she gasped and stepped back.

  "I have been saving it for you for the last twelve years,” he said.

  It was the oil painting of the fallen angel she had seen that fatal night in the Grand Bazaar. If anything, it looked even more disturbing now.

  "I remember,” Alana murmured, studying the intricate details, the virulent clouds and rising winds, the agonizing faces of the angels surrounding the fallen one, whose expression radiated incredulity and rage. The wooden frame was beautifully carved and painted in antique gold. She lifted it from the floor and gazed at it at arms’ length. She sighed. “It is magnificent ... and very appropriate."

  There was a heavy silence.

  "Is this me—this fallen angel with auburn curls?"

  "I won't have you talking this nonsense. You had fallen in love with it, and I went and got it for you."

  "You have to admit the strangeness, the morbidity of it.” After studying it for a long time she gingerly placed it back against the wall.

  He turned her to him. “Just rip it apart if it offends you. Do you want me to bring a knife?"

  She could tell he was serious.

  "Don't be silly. I would never destroy such a beautiful painting. Besides, I love it. I want to keep it."

  She held him suddenly, wrapping her arms round his waist and burying her face in his chest. She felt him relax under her affectionate, almost desperate gesture. She could feel him kissing the top of her head and stroking her long hair.

  Sadash led her by the hand. “Come, my love."

  They went into another room, this one without windows and empty and smaller, with a heavy wooden door at the end of it. The door had four locks.

  Sadash looked at the door and the locks jerked open.

  After following him down a steep set of stairs, Alana found herself in a cellar. Total darkness, and yet she could see everything, like a cat. The air was cool and heavy with humidity.

  "Coffins,” she said, a bit startled by their blackness, by their sleek crudeness.

  They were the only two things in the cellar.

  Two open black coffins with red silk interiors ... side by side.

  "I told you they make me feel safe. What can I say? I'm an old-fashioned kind of guy."

  "No torchlights? There are always torchlights in the movies,” she said.

  "The only torchlight we need is already in our eyes. Now, stop making fun of me and come here,” he said, standing between the two coffins.

  Alana stepped towards him. He had turned oddly quiet, his features solemn. He ran his fingers through her hair, gently pushing the strands away from her forehead. Instinctively, she clasped her arms around his waist. Gazing at her, Sadash took a long deep breath. She did the same, mimicking him. For a long moment they stood looking at each other.

  Then she glanced at one of the coffins. “I don't want to sleep there—alone, I mean. I want to sleep with you. I don't care if I'm a coward,” she said.

  He seemed surprised. “Who said you would sleep alone? I bought the extra coffin only for when we have fights."

  Even in a situation such as this, he still had the power to make her laugh.

  * * * *

  Valeria arrived at the apartment at eight o'clock. She had had to work overtime again. Miguel had asked her to stay with him till ten, but she had refused. She had been nervous and sullen all day, but when Miguel had asked her what was wrong she had only shrugged her shoulders and kept silent.

  She had been distracted, her concentration totally gone. The only things on her mind were Alana and the strange and surprising little note Alana had left her two nights ago. The whole thing seemed so odd! Alana had wanted her to come home early. She had wanted to talk to her about something obviously important, but when Valeria had come home Alana had disappeared and only left a short note saying that Sadash had come for her and that they would spend the next couple of days together and that she would call her in one or two days. Alana had also said not to worry. The little slut! She really had guts! Well, Valeria had made a decision: if Alana didn't call her by midnight tonight she was going to call the police.

  After taking off her suit and putting on a T-shirt and shorts, Valeria went into the kitchen to fix herself a sandwich. But in the middle of preparing it she decided she wasn't hungry and just left the things on the kitchen counter and grabbed a beer from the fridge. A wave of nervousness rushed over her.

  She sank into the living room sofa and turned on the TV. Sipping her beer, she tried to watch a comedy show. Then she changed her mind. She turned off the TV and walked into the bathroom to take a shower.

  What if Sadash had kidnapped her and forced her to write the note? He was a total stranger. Alana had only known him for a few hours. How could she suddenly decide to elope with a man in this fashion? Unless ... unless he wasn't really a stranger. Maybe Alana had met him long before but kept their relationship a secret. After all, Alana had been acting secretive and strange for the past few weeks. Yes, this had to be it.

  But they were like sisters, they told each other everything. Why keep it a secret? And what about the murder of that kid in Amanita Street? And Victor, who she had called at the nightclub last night, telling her that Alana had not shown up for work but that a substitute manager had been sent by the owner of the club.

  Valeria squeezed the excess water from her hair and wrapped herself in a towel.

  The bathroom was muggy and the mirror hazy from the vapor. She wiped the mirror with her hand and began to towel-dry her hair. Her skin was flush from the hot shower. After combing her hair and brushing her teeth, she turned to open the door.

  But when she swung open the door, she found herself face to face with Alana.

  Valeria flinched back, her eyes wide with surprise. “For God's sake!” she breathed, bringing a hand to her chest as if she could restrain the voluptuous heaving of her breasts. “You scared the hell out of me! Where on earth have you been? I was going to call the police."

  "That's why I decided to come ... so you wouldn't call the police."

  "God, you almost gave me a heart attack!” Valeria wrapped the towel tighter around her. “Are you okay?"

  "Yes ... sure. Why shouldn't I be?"

  Something different about her ... the eyes blacker ... the voice thicker....

  "I don't know. You tell me. All of a sudden disappearing like that a
nd leaving just a little note. It's not like you,” Valeria said. Then she noticed Alana's eyes were bizarrely fixed on her neck. “What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?"

  "It's just your veins ... I can see them so clearly."

  Valeria frowned, staring at her. “Have you been drinking? What do my veins have to do with anything? You wouldn't believe how worried I've been. I couldn't even work today.” She walked past Alana to her bedroom.

  Alana followed her. “That's why I left you a note, so you wouldn't worry,” she said, crossing the bedroom and standing by the sliding glass door, which was open.

  "How was I supposed to know someone hadn't made you write that note?"

  "Really, Valeria! I thought I was the only one around here with the wild imagination. Don't be silly."

  "It's my fault, for caring. I shouldn't have cared."

  A soft breeze swept in from the balcony and ruffled the curtains and played with Alana's hair. She appeared ... more beautiful. She had always been beautiful, but somehow she now looked more beautiful. There was an unusual inner glow to her eyes, and her hair seemed thicker, its reddish hue more lustrous than before. And for the first time Valeria noticed Alana's clothes. New clothes, sleek and expensive. A black satin blouse and black slacks and black leather high-heeled boots.

  "Already accepting his gifts?” Valeria said, unable to stop herself.

  But Alana only smiled, forgivingly, as if she understood all about Valeria's anger and confusion.

  Alana glanced down at her own clothes, then back at Valeria. “Do you like them?"

  Valeria shrugged. “Not bad.” Then she bent over to fetch underwear from the dresser. “Excuse me, but I have to get dressed."

  "Do you want me to leave?"

  Valeria shrugged again. She was going to give Alana the “indifference treatment."

  "I don't care,” she said. She tossed the towel onto the bed and slipped into lilac lace panties, trying to ignore Alana's presence in the room, trying her best not to look at her. But while she was getting dressed she experienced the most peculiar sensation. Usually, whenever she changed clothes and Alana happened to be around, Valeria always acted totally natural and unconscious about her nudity. She was never shy like Alana. But now a strong appalling sensation took possession of her, as if she could literally feel the power of Alana's gaze piercing through her like a stiletto.

  And when she finally finished dressing and looked at Alana, she saw the oddest expression on her face.

  "Is something wrong?” Valeria said.

  "No, nothing.... “Alana mumbled, glancing down to the floor as if she had been caught doing something shameful.

  Valeria hesitated, momentarily at loss for words. What a strange sensation.

  As if sensing her sudden daze, Alana casually said, “Well? Aren't you curious about what I did these last two days?"

  "Why should I be? From now on you keep your secrets and I keep mine."

  "Ah, so that's why you're so angry, because I didn't tell you about Sadash. But there's nothing to tell. Really. I ... I was powerfully drawn to him ... I thought you would understand. You ... of all people. You know about passion. You know about desire."

  Valeria slowly shook her head, incredulous. “Do you really expect me to believe this? That you met a guy for a few hours and went crazy in love and jumped into bed with him? You, Alana? I would have believed this of anyone else. But you? You?"

  "Let's not get insulting here,” Alana teased. “You're hurting my feelings."

  "Always that sense of humor,” Valeria said coldly. “That's what I love about you the most—your damned sense of humor."

  Alana stretched out her arms toward her. “Let's be friends. Let's be twin souls again ... please,” she said, her voice so beckoning, so seductively imploring.

  Valeria took a deep breath, repressing a smile. Then she said in a sullen mood, “What's wrong with your voice? Are you getting a cold?"

  Alana smiled. Instantly she walked over to Valeria and pulled her into her arms. For a moment Valeria closed her eyes, reluctantly responding to the embrace. So easy to melt to her wishes, to feel weak inside the coziness of her arms.

  "Are we twin souls again?” Alana said, pulling herself away from Valeria but still clasping her forearms.

  "One of these days I'm going to kill you."

  "Too late for that,” Alana said under her breath.

  "What?"

  "Nothing."

  But Valeria had heard it.

  And then, just as abruptly as she had embraced her, Alana pulled herself away and went over to stand again by the sliding glass door. For a moment she gazed out toward the sky, her back to Valeria.

  "Valeria ... I'm moving in with him."

  "You're moving in with him...” Valeria repeated, baffled. “But..."

  Slowly Alana turned around to face her. “But what?"

  "But how can you? Just like that, I mean. You don't know this guy. Or do you? Who is he? How long have you known him?"

  "Don't worry. There's nothing illegal about him. He's a ... software engineer. He has his own firm. X-Net. He's twenty-eight. Irresistibly handsome. Rich. Single. Of Turkish descendent—no terrorist background. Heterosexual. Are you satisfied?"

  "I've never heard of any X-Net."

  "And I don't expect you to. It's in Miami, but he's opening an office here in San Juan."

  "Uh-huh.... And how long have you known him?"

  "I saw him first the night of the opening. I told you that."

  "So he just swept you off your feet..."

  "What did you think? That I would die a virgin?"

  "No.... It's not that. It's just ... I don't believe you,” Valeria said, wondering why she was suddenly so convinced Alana wasn't telling her the truth.

  "I'm sorry if you don't. I really am,” Alana said sadly. “Because I don't have anything else to tell you. Except don't worry about me. I can't stand it if you worry about me."

  "You're in trouble..."

  "Your eyes look so beautiful when you look at me like that. So serious. So moist and big and brown,” Alana said. She ran the tip of her tongue across her lips to moisten them.

  But Valeria ignored her remark. A sudden fear closed her throat. “You're in trouble. I know it ... I can feel it."

  Alana laughed. “What's this? Your famous ESP again?"

  "Something has happened to you. You've changed."

  "Changed? What an odd choice of words. Changed. How?"

  "I don't know. I just don't know how. But you have changed. You're supposed to be at La Cueva . You're supposed to be working right now. Did you quit? Victor told me someone sent a substitute for you last night."

  Alana was still laughing, lazily pacing the room. “A substitute? Really? A vampire substitute?” She took a deep breath, trying to sober up. “Oh, Valeria, you're so sweet, you're so innocent. I love your innocence. I could fill myself with your innocence. But please don't make me laugh. You know how I cry when I laugh a lot. And you don't want to see me crying. Believe me, you don't want to see me crying."

  Something in Alana's laugh raced her pulse. But hell, she couldn't define what it was. But there was that unnatural glimmer of the eyes, that perfect whiteness of her teeth and that perfect creaminess of her skin, like alabaster.

  "I should go,” Alana finally said, sober now. In fact, her expression had turned morose. “Don't worry, okay? I'll be fine. Believe me when I tell you I'm having a great time. I'll call you up soon. Or I'll come to visit.” Then she added, a softly pleading smile on her face, “I wish you'd be happy for me.” And she turned to go.

  "No, wait!"

  "What?"

  "You don't understand. Don't you think I'd be happy for you if I believed all this were true? But it's just ... too good to be true. And I know you're lying to me. I can feel it. There's something wrong somewhere. I'm sure of it."

  "What? What could be wrong? Tell me."

  "You tell me. You're the one who knows."

&nbs
p; "Think about it. Maybe you're just jealous."

  "No, I'm not!” Valeria protested, blushing. But this momentarily stopped her. Okay, she admitted it, she was jealous. It's not that she didn't wish Alana all the happiness in the world. Dear God, she would give her life for her! So strong was her bond. But how couldn't she be jealous? They had just moved in together, they had made so many plans, their lives were so perfect ... Everything was perfect. The twin souls. The two musketeers. The redhead and the blond. Just like when they were little.

  Yes, she was jealous of losing her again, just as she had lost her when Alana had gone off to Boston. But this wasn't only a matter of jealousy. What Alana was telling her didn't make sense. Why everything so suddenly? Why did she have to move in with that man? The hell, she didn't need to move in with a man to get laid! And to quit her job! No, no, no. It didn't make sense.

  Alana was staring at her with narrowed eyes. “I love you,” she said.

  Valeria appeared transfixed. “You're giving me goose bumps,” she whispered. “Tell me what's wrong. What the hell is this? You don't have to move in with him! Why do you have to move in with him? And why are you quitting your job? This is crazy!"

  But Alana was already heading to the front door.

  "Alana!” Valeria went after her. “If you're moving in with him, why haven't you packed? Where's your luggage?"

  Alana stopped at the doorway and turned around to face her. There was something imploring yet menacing on her face. “I made a mistake. I should never have come."

  "Alana, let me help you. Whatever it is...” Valeria made an attempt to hold Alana's hand but Alana jerked it away. “Where are you going? Can you at least give me an address, or a number where I can reach you?"

  "I think we were mistaken,” Alana said, as if she hadn't heard her. “There aren't any twin souls. It was an illusion. A wonderful illusion. Forget about it."

  "Don't go...” Valeria pleaded, confusion mingled with unexplained fear. “Remember the pact..."