She waited for him to call her bluff, to insist that she get straight with him, tell him what was really on her mind.
He did no such thing. Instead, he wrapped his big arms around his spread knees and stared up at the night sky. “I thought you wanted her in the bassinet with us.”
She studied his profile, his strong nose and hard jaw, the manly jut of his Adam’s apple. A hint of his aftershave came to her, and a shiver of desire hollowed her out down low. “Seth. She’s never in the bassinet with us. She’s been sleeping in the spare room ever since we got married.”
He slipped her a glance. The promise of the night to come thickened the air between them. Suddenly the little problem of loving him when he couldn’t love her back seemed to matter a whole lot less than it had a minute before.
“We make a lot of noise,” he said.
“Exactly. And I’m thinking we’ll probably continue to do so.”
“As long as I have anything to say about it, we will.” He was looking straight at her now, a look that stole her breath and made her acutely aware of her blood as it pulsed through her veins.
“And that reminds me...”
“What?” He reached over and ran the backs of his fingers slowly down her bare arm. Nerve endings flashed and sizzled in response to that light touch.
What were they even talking about? Focus. “I want to fix up the room she’s been sleeping in at the Bar-Y, too.” The room was directly across the hall from the master bedroom, a nice, sunny space that faced the front yard. “I want to get her a crib there, paint the room in little-girl colors, set things up right for her there, too, so I don’t always have to be hauling all her stuff back and forth.”
“No problem.” He slipped those caressing fingers under her hair and clasped the back of her neck. Better than a giant slice of Adriana Welch’s chocolate cake, the feel of his hands on her flesh. “So, you’re fine, then?” He pulled her in to him.
“Never better,” she whispered as his mouth came down on hers.
And it was true, at that moment, as his fingers slid up into her hair, cupping the back of her head, holding her steady while he plundered her mouth.
It was true, as he slipped his other hand up under her tank top, clever fingers closing on her breast, kneading it until she moaned and felt her milk come in.
She pushed at his giant shoulders and looked down at the dark spot on her shirt right over the curve of her breast. “Look what you did.”
The hand in her hair slid lower. His fingers were warm on her nape, firm on her shoulder, arousing as they glided down her bare arm until he had hold of her hand. “Come inside with me. You can get out of that wet shirt.”
She didn’t argue. She might not have his love, but she owned that big body of his. When she held him in her arms, he belonged only to her.
He scooped up the baby monitor and rose, pulling her up with him, leading her back inside and straight to their bedroom. He set the monitor on the nightstand and got right to work getting her out of her clothes.
In about thirty seconds flat they were both naked, shirts and pants and underwear a tangled pile around their bare feet.
And then he grabbed her close again and put his mouth on hers, reaching down, those amazing hands curving under her bare bottom, lifting her.
With a moan of pleasure, she curled her arms around his neck and hitched up her legs to encircle his waist. His fingers moved, inching inward. And then he was touching her, opening her, readying her, his erection already hard and thick against her belly.
A cry escaped her. He drank it in—and then, out of nowhere, he broke the kiss.
She glared at him, wanting more. More kisses, more caresses, more of this wild beauty that pulsed between them. “What?” she demanded.
“You,” he answered rough and low. “Everything.”
Still standing, with her all wrapped around him, he slanted his head the other way and kissed her some more. She kissed him right back, heedless of their clothes trampled under his feet as his fingers worked their heady magic at her wet and eager core.
She was ready, beyond ready. Hooking her legs tighter around him, she lifted up and away to try to get him in place and take him inside.
He only chuckled and pulled her back to him, good and tight against his muscled heat, trapping his hardness between their bodies again. “Kiss me some more, Jody. Let’s make it last...”
Jody held on. She kissed him forever as he went on touching her, driving her higher, making her burn.
Until she went over the edge of the world for him, letting her head fall back, whimpering at the ceiling, holding on to him for dear life as completion sang through every nerve.
Only then, so gently, did he lower her to their bed, only then did he come into her, gliding home to fill her. She sighed in pleasure as she took him in.
Once there, he stilled for a sweet, endless moment. And then he rolled them so she was on top, her legs folded on either side of him. “Ride me, Jody. Take me there.”
She was only too happy to comply. Bracing her hands on his chest, she pushed her body up to a sitting position. It was so good this way—well, every way was good with him. But she loved looking down at him, watching the wonder and excitement on his face as she moved on him, rocking him slow and sweet. And then harder. Faster.
Until he lost it completely, grabbing her hips and pulling her down tight to him, spilling into her as he chanted her name.
Later, when he slept beside her, she reminded herself again of how good they were together, how she loved the life they shared.
And what were those three little words, really? Nothing but a certain arrangement of sounds.
No, he hadn’t said them. But if she only stopped yearning for them, she could more fully appreciate all that he gave her, all that he was.
They shared so much. It should be enough.
She needed to remember that.
* * *
That following Saturday Elise married Jed. She had her three sisters, four sisters-in-law and her cousin Rory for her bridesmaids. Her lifelong friend, Tracy Winham, was her maid of honor.
The ceremony was at four with the reception at five thirty and expected to go well into the night. To start the day off right, Elise and her bridesmaids met at ten in the morning at Elise’s favorite salon for hair and makeup.
Originally, Jody had planned to opt out of everything but the ceremony and maybe an hour or two at the reception afterward. She had Marybeth to consider. But Mae Califano volunteered to come in from the ranch and watch the baby at the house in town. That way, Jody could run home and nurse every four hours or so—or find somewhere private to pump if she had to.
It all went off beautifully, Jody thought. Elise wore a full-length white dress lavish with beads and lace and a cathedral-length veil. Flowers from Bloom filled the church. The bridesmaids wore teal blue satin, each in a different style. Annabelle Bravo, their brother Quinn’s six-year-old, was the flower girl. Annabelle’s best friend, Sylvie, carried the rings. Both Sylvie and Annabelle wore fairy princess costumes complete with jeweled tiaras and filmy wings.
Elise and Jed had written their vows. An audible sigh went up from the guests when Jed confessed that he’d finally found happiness the day Elise knocked on his front door. He had more to say, all of it beautiful, full of love for his bride. He held Elise’s hands and he looked in her eyes, and he promised to love her forever.
As Jed said his vows, Jody’s sisters and sisters-in-law glanced out at the pews, looking for their husbands to share a quick glance of love and belonging. Jody did the same, her gaze seeking Seth.
His eyes were waiting. He gave her a slow smile. All that they had together—the passion, the mutual respect, the tenderness, the love for Marybeth—it all seemed to shimmer in the air between them.
It
was a good moment. She turned back to the bride and groom reassured, somehow, that what she had with Seth was as real and as lasting as what Elise had with Jed, what Clara shared with Dalton, what Sylvie’s mom, Ava, had with Jody’s half brother Darius.
After the ceremony, there were pictures. When the photographer finally let them go, Seth drove Jody back to the house. They checked in with Mae. Jody nursed Marybeth, and then off they went again, this time to the hotel.
The weather was perfect, a little warm maybe, but not too bad. Snowy-clothed tables set with silver-rimmed china waited on the terrace, where dinner would be served. Cocktails, champagne and appetizers came first as everybody met and mingled. Then they settled in for the meal.
At seven thirty, the guests gathered in the ballroom to watch the bride and groom share their first dance. After that, they could stay inside for more dancing or return to the terrace to visit without having to compete with the band.
The photographer called the wedding party together again—this time on the terrace as the sun began to set.
After that second round of pictures, Jody rejoined Seth in the ballroom. He tugged her close to his side and nuzzled a kiss against her hair. “Let’s dance.”
“You dance? Somehow, I never pictured you as the dancing type.”
He gave her that slow smile of his. “I’m full of surprises.”
“It’s a fast one,” she teased. “You sure?”
“I think I can manage to shuffle around.”
Actually, that he was game for a dance delighted her. She followed him out onto the floor and they danced around each other like everyone else was doing.
After three fast dances, the band played a slow one. Seth pulled her close. She went happily into his arms, leaning her head on his shoulder as they swayed to that Ellie Goulding ballad from Fifty Shades of Grey.
What was it about him? In his arms she felt cherished and completely at home.
He rubbed his hand gently at the small of her back, sliding it up, stroking her hair, then caressing his way back down again, reminding her of what would happen between them that night when they were finally alone.
What she felt for him was like nothing she’d ever known before. She kept waiting for loving him to somehow become more ordinary, something accepted, like breathing. Something she could do without even having to think about it. It would be so much easier to love him that way.
He cradled her closer still. The woodsy scent of his aftershave seduced her. His lips brushed her temple.
Longing filled her.
All she wanted was everything. Was that so unreasonable?
She stifled a desperate laugh at the absurdity of her overwhelming desire, a laugh that could too easily have become a sob.
Truly, she only wanted what she’d given up hope of ever finding. Forever and his heart, too. Funny, that she’d had the words of love from Brent, but he never would give her forever.
With Seth, it was the other way around. Would she ever in her life manage both at the same time?
The truth she kept denying rose up within her. Really, this wasn’t working.
It wasn’t getting any better for her. She couldn’t do it any longer, couldn’t just wait around and hope that she would stop obsessing over loving him—or that he would somehow see the light, get past the awful events of seven years ago and openly return her love. She was going to have to figure out a way to make peace with herself, a way to somehow ease this awful feeling of being all bottled up inside.
She really did need to talk about it with him.
She needed to tell him she loved him—tell him calmly this time. Face-to-face. So he would have to acknowledge it, so he wouldn’t be able to lie to himself that she’d only gotten carried away during a mind-blowing orgasm.
The song came to an end. They swayed to a stop. She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked up into those warm amber eyes.
He gazed at her so tenderly. “My beautiful bride.” And he tipped up her chin and brushed a kiss against her lips.
That did it.
The words rose up, demanding release. And she let them out for the second time. “I love you, Seth. I’m in love with you.”
Chapter Eleven
His face went blank and his ears turned red.
Her heart shriveled to a dried-out raisin inside her chest.
And then, a moment later, he pulled it together. “Jody,” he said, rough and low. Kind of chiding. As though she had wounded him by saying such a cruel thing. “Jody, you know that I care for you deeply, too.”
I care for you deeply.
Ugh. Just...ugh.
Something clicked within her. A certain calm descended. “This isn’t working for me. We have to talk about this.”
He actually winced. “Now?”
The sense of calm deserted her as fast as it had come. Fury swept through her, heating her cheeks, making her heart race. It would have been much too satisfying to call him a bad name and run from the ballroom.
However, he did have a point. Elise’s wedding was hardly the time or the place.
“You’re right,” she said. “We’ll talk later.” A fast song began. “For right now, keep dancing...”
* * *
It was after one in the morning when Jody thanked Mae and walked her out to her pickup.
Back inside, she could hear Marybeth starting to fuss.
Seth appeared from the great room holding the receiver for the baby monitor. “I’ll get her.”
“No. She’ll want to nurse. I’ll do it.” She turned for the baby’s room. Seth had moved her recliner in there.
She’d just settled in with Marybeth at her breast when he stuck his head in the door and asked, “Want me to change her?”
Jody shook her head. “I’ll do it. Go on to bed.”
He hovered there in the doorway, his tie undone, his eyes both wary and worried at once. All man. Her man—well, mostly. “Jody, I...”
“It’s late,” she whispered. “Get some sleep. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
He started to speak again, then seemed to think better of it. Tapping a palm on the door frame, he turned and disappeared down the hall.
A half an hour later, she settled her sleeping baby back in her crib, turned off the little lamp by her nursing recliner and tiptoed out into the hallway. The master bedroom door was open, but the light was off.
She actually dreaded going in there, but she made herself do it. Seth was already in bed, facing the far wall, the covers pulled up over his big shoulders.
Jody undressed in the bathroom. When she slid under the blankets with him, he didn’t move.
Carefully, she settled on her side facing away from him, closed her eyes and waited for sleep to come and take her away from this too-quiet, dark room where the man she loved slept with his back to her.
* * *
In the morning, they ate breakfast in silence. She fed Marybeth and he changed her.
He had the whole day off, and so did she. They’d planned to head out to the ranch, but when he asked if she still wanted to go, she shook her head. “As soon as Marybeth goes to sleep, we’ll talk. Then we’ll see.”
“What do you mean, we’ll see?” He seemed angry, suddenly.
Well, too bad if he was upset. She wasn’t all that happy with the current situation, either. “I mean, let’s talk first before we decide what to do with the rest of the day.”
“Jody—”
She showed him the hand. “After Marybeth goes to sleep.”
* * *
Seth resented each minute as it ticked by. He didn’t want to do this. They didn’t need to talk—not about this. Not about love.
He’d thought Jody understood him, that she knew exactly where he came down on the
question of love. But apparently, he’d gotten it all wrong.
By ten, Marybeth had conked out on her play mat in the great room. Seth carried her to her room.
When he came back out, he closed the door. Jody was the most reasonable woman he’d ever known. He didn’t think things would get heated. But on the off chance that they did, well, no need to scare the baby.
Jody was waiting for him on one end of the sofa in the great room, looking way too good in skinny jeans that hugged every curve and a snug pink T-shirt, her bare feet up on the cushions, tucked to the side. He took the other end of the sofa.
For several awful seconds they both sat silent. Should he speak first?
He had no idea what to say. Whatever he came up with, he was just about certain she wouldn’t like what he said.
Finally, she took the lead. “We never actually talked about love that night you asked me to marry you. We should have.”
And he should keep his mouth shut now. He knew that. But he didn’t. “Jody, I honestly thought you understood my position.”
“I know. I thought I understood it, too. I thought I accepted it.”
She did? “Then why are we doing this?”
She stiffened at his harsh tone. “You are not a stupid man, Seth Yancy. I know that you know what the problem is.” She spoke each word way too clearly, like she was biting them off with her teeth. And then she paused for a very slow breath. “Love is important, Seth. Love matters. I love you.”
I love you. It was the third time she’d said it. Every time she said it something happened inside him, a sense of triumph, a hot and wild spurt of pure joy—followed immediately by a hard slap of shame.
She said, “When I accepted your proposal, I knew I didn’t have your love. I knew then as I do now that you feel you owe your love to Irene, because of what happened. Because she gave her life for yours. Is that wrong? Tell me if I’ve got it wrong.”
He looked away. It hurt to hear her say it out loud like that. “If you understand, then why are we talking about it?”
The Lawman's Convenient Bride Page 15
