People think I’m crazy, but I have always felt that my animals could sense my emotions. If I’m having a bad day, Nala will chase her ball around, leaping and jumping as close to the perimeter fence as she could, giving me a great view of the entertainment. Baloo was even more sensitive. When I would come into feed him or give him some honey sticks, he would walk next to me lifting his head up so that I had him to lean on. The days after I had just gotten out of the hospital after the accident, were so painful that I hated to think back on them. I had lain in my bed for days, not speaking to Trevor, Pepper, or even the cook that Lela had hired to feed me and take care of the house. It was Baloo’s soul wrenching wails that finally brought me out of the house.
Trevor tried to keep Baloo calm but after months of not seeing me, to only have me so close to him, close enough he could hear me sobbing at night, was more than he could stand. So, my gentle bear wailed until I grabbed the cane I was using to hobble around and walked over to his enclosure which was only across the drive from the main house. I had always had Baloo near the main house. He was the first animal I saw every morning and up until the accident had been the last animal, I said goodnight too.
I knew what the big bear was up to. Beas are incredibly intelligent, they’re not just wired for instinct as most people think. They form bonds, they feel sadness, anger, and confusion and can reason better than most humans can. While I had always respected the wild instincts in Baloo, I also felt like he would never hurt me.
The night my parents and I had saved Baloo from that evil man that Richard had sold him too, I sat outside his enclosure all night. He had shied away from my mother, everyone, and me As soon as we got him to his habitat he slumped behind a large boulder. I was so horrified by how this man had filed down his teeth, hoping to make him less dangerous, that I cried all night. At first, Baloo was angry and wild and charged the fence where I was sitting, repeatedly. By the fifth time, my parents wanted me to come inside and leave him be, but I refused.
I refused to let him be alone, if he wouldn’t let me hold him while he raged against the cruelty he’d suffered at human hands, then I would let him know he wasn’t alone, I wasn’t leaving him.
I think in his way the night I hobbled to his enclosure, bitter and angry at the loss of my parents, the loss of mobility, that he was letting me know he wouldn’t leave me either. I had thrown open the gate to his habitat, yelling like a madwoman for him to quiet down, that I didn’t want to talk to him, but he had just stared at me. Then without hesitation, he ambled up to me and sat at my feet, lowering his head for me to scratch behind his ears like I used to do every morning. It was the moment where I knew I would never be alone, and I had promised Baloo and the others that they would always have a home with me.
So, when I met Amber, and she had seemed so lonely and convinced that the universe was punishing her for her deeds in life, I had tried to do the same for her. John, it seemed was of the same mind and no matter what vile thing she threw at him, or how much she told him she was a bad seed, he would just quietly sit with her. Hell, two months after her operation and we were giggling about how big her new boobs would be. John, of course, voicing his male opinion only made us laugh harder. Then there was the night I saw John kiss Amber. She pulled away and even in the dark, I could see John smile. He did what he always did when it came to Amber…he waited her out. She pummeled his chest with her fists, screamed at him for making her feel things that she didn’t want to and in the end threw her arms around him and kissed him. I took that moment to creep into the house unseen by both. From where I had stood, it looked like Amber and John were close to being in love. Two days later John explained he had to go out of town for work, but he promised he would be back in three weeks, and Amber promised she would be waiting.
Sadly, about ten days later I had woken up and after a quick walk around the house, I realized Amber’s things were gone. I looked for a note or some kind of communication that explained where she’d gone, but there had been none. When John had shown up on my doorstep, I did not have to say a word. I apologized, feeling responsible since I had been the one to introduce them but he just kissed me on the cheek and walked home. We never spoke of Amber again.
“To answer your question, I had no idea John and Reece were cousins,” she told me with an edge to her voice.
When I raised one eyebrow, she shot forward until we were face to face. “I didn’t!” she insisted again. “I knew that Reece’s cousin from California would spend summers here, but my father always sent me to camp over the summer. Reece and I got married at the courthouse so I never met John.” Her blue eyes flared with pain and I knew she wasn’t lying.
“Then why did you leave? Did something happen to scare you? I thought we were friends, I think John thought you guys were starting something.” I insisted finding some relief when a look a regret flashed across her pale face. At least John hadn’t been alone in his feelings.
Amber looked away, I saw her shoulders shake as she cried and she suddenly reminded me of the Amber I had met before. So small and scared, like no one loved her. I knew Amber had issues; she had shared with me some bits about her father. She told me that her mother died when she was young and that her father, although rich, never spent time with her. Sure, he’d let her buy whatever she wanted but practically ignored her. I was sure some of her actions towards the Hudsons sprang from a need for love, attention and a need to belong. That didn’t excuse the things she had done or choices she had made, but I did understand how fear and insecurities could make you do things you would regret. I had been a victim of my own insecurities more times than I wanted to admit.
“Dammit Ali, I knew John was coming back soon and even though I tried not to love him, I did.” She turned back to me with eyes full of regret. She’d loved him, and I was willing to bet he had loved her too.
“John was a good man, Alison. He helps those people who can’t help themselves, he saves people. Once he knew me, the real me,” she hiccupped. “He wouldn’t want me either. I couldn’t stand to see one more person in my life tell me I wasn’t wanted, that I wasn’t good enough. So, I left to France where I had my reconstruction surgery. After about six months I returned home, and everyone thought I had just been traveling in Europe the whole time.” She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater.
“What about your brother? Did you tell him?” I asked gently. Surely, someone cared for Amber?
Amber shook her head. “No, our mother died when I was younger, I was afraid that Father would consider me more of a burden and I barely spoke. He’s friends with the Hudson and now Mayor of Carson City and has told me over and over again how disappointed he is in my behavior.” She sniffed, and I gave her a small smile.
Yeah, Amber had dug a pretty deep hole. Back in Ireland, Camille had told me all about how Synclair and Reece had gotten together. She’d also told me about this wicked, urchin woman named Amber who had done all of these terrible things to Lucas and Sara. I hadn’t even put it all together, at the time I was too preoccupied with Matt to even realize that the evil urchin was the same woman I had taken care of after her double mastectomy.
“So you came back and still caused trouble, Jesus Amber. I thought you told me you wanted to make amends.” I told her softly. I didn’t want to seem like a jerk, but some of the things she’d done were after her cancer scare, so I didn’t see where she had learned anything.
She hung her head again, and the tears started up. Oh, no! Not this time, sister. “No. That’s enough.”
She looked up, startled at the anger in my voice. “You were my friend, I accepted you without question. I get that you got scared and left, but what you’ve done since then and what you’re doing now has to stop.”
Amber jumped up from the sofa, and I carefully pushed myself to stand. My leg was achy and felt heavy today so I limped to position myself between her and the door. I needed answers, Dammit. She was not leaving here, looking half-dead, because the conversation was making h
er uncomfortable!
“I have to go. You heard the conversation between the guys and me, there’s nothing more to talk about.” Her haughty tone told me she was trying to be tough.
“Forget it,” I crossed my arms over my chest and dared her to get past me. I was done letting people just pass in and out my life at will.
Her lips twisted up in a smirk, and I knew she was going to say or do something that she hoped would make me hate her. Little did she know just how impossible that was. I couldn’t hate the woman, I felt sorry for her.
“I can move you, Alison, I know that leg of yours is weak, and I can tell by your face that it’s paining you today,” she hissed.
She reminded me of a wounded dog that was biting out of fear of being hurt. It sounded terrible, but I saw her as one of my animals, afraid, scared and ready to lash out because they couldn’t fathom the idea that someone cared enough not to go anywhere. Maybe I should have been applying my skills with my animals to the people in my life all along.
I gave her a sweet smile. She was right, my leg was hurting today and if she pushed past me, I would most likely ass-plant. However, dating a Hudson gave me some advantages.
“Dalton!” I shouted and watched as Amber’s face fell.
She glanced to the kitchen doorway where Dalton came striding through and didn’t stop until he was leaning against the front door. He didn’t say a word, he only smiled at me, and I smiled back. Matthew, not one to be left behind, planted himself on the sofa with a somber look on his face.
Amber looked from Dalton to me, then to Matthew and threw up her hands in frustration. “Why? You don’t even like me, you all hate me! What difference does it make to you that chemo from the cancer-weakened one of my kidneys?” she shouted. “Does that make you happy? Congratulations, the wicked witch finally got her due, the universe is making me pay for being a worthless person, not worthy of love from anyone!” she spun around and flopped into the recliner near the door, pulled her knees to her chest and lowered her face.
“I thought you didn’t do the chemotherapy after the double mastectomy!” I replied kneeling beside her chair. I didn’t want to reward her theatrics, but I wasn’t going to kick a person when they were down either.
Amber shook her head as the tears began to flow steadily down her cheeks. I gave Matt a sincere smile when he pushed a box of Kleenex on Amber’s lap and then returned to his spot on the sofa. I knew his family didn’t like Amber, with good reason. The fact that he was willing to let me handle this made me want to kiss that sexy mouth of his.
“When I saw the doctor to have my breast reconstruction, he suggest I do a round of Chemotherapy or radiation, just to make any lingering cells were eradicated. So, I did. However, while the Chemo killed any remaining cancer, I didn’t tolerate it very well. Or more to the point my kidneys didn’t.”
Feeling like my leg was full of sharp needles, I moved to get up off the floor. To my surprise Matt was right there, holding out his hand as if he had known how difficult it was for me move from that position.
Amber’s eyes followed me as Matt assisted me to sit on the sofa, placing himself right next to me with his hand holding mine. Not entirely comfortable with the public display, I felt myself blush.
“She loves you.” Amber blurted out as she watched Matt and I. Suddenly, embarrassed and not quite sure how I felt about everything at the moment, I was going to tell her that my relationship with Matt was private; however, Matt beat me to it.
“Yes, she does, and I love her too.” Matt squeezed my hand to stop me from arguing his point. “We’re going to get married, and once we have her animals moved to the new compound you had built, we won’t be apart again.”
My head spun around at his determined words. His face told me that arguing was not a good plan, but I couldn’t help it. “Wait! Hold-up!” I said to him as I unsuccessfully tried to pull my hand from his. “I never said I was taking Amber’s land and definitely never said I was going to marry you, Matthew!” I couldn’t believe the arrogance of this man. He was as delusional as he was gorgeous if he thought I was going to be railroaded into marriage.
Just then Pepper, Synclair, and little Wyatt knocked Dalton out of the way as they came through the front door. The three got about two feet inside when they saw the scene unfolding in the living room. I have to admit, it must have looked comical. Dalton was struggling to get off the floor, Amber was looking for the nearest exit and Matt was still staring at me with that determined, sexy green gaze of his. Even while my head was turned towards Pepper and Synclair, I could still feel the heat of his stare.
“What the hell is this?” Synclair asked, her eyes narrowed as she hugged little Wyatt closer.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. Synclair had plenty of reasons to not want Amber in her home. Even if Amber had made some half-ass apology, I would not put it pass the very protective and volatile Synclair Hudson to grab a bat and start swinging.
“Celebrity death match.” Dalton joked as he came to stand with Synclair and Pepper. Wyatt immediately squirmed and cooed until Dalton took the little bundle from Synclair’s arms.
“Amber?” Pepper asked, eyeing Amber with cautious surprise. “Is it really you?” Pepper walked forward into the living room, yanked Amber up from the chair, and threw her arms around her. Pepper had met Amber when she had visited me for a few weeks. The two had hit it off, and Amber had given Pepper lots of tips on makeup and clothes. I could see the concern in Pepper’s face as she took in Amber’s pale face and frail body. When she took a step back, Amber flopped back into the chair seemingly exhausted.
“Wait! You know her?” Synclair asked in disbelief. I was about to respond when Pepper jumped in.
“Yeah, she stayed with Aunt Ali after she had her breasts removed due to cancer that was in them,” Pepper answered without realizing she was outing a very personal secret of Amber’s.
Amber gasped and hid her face in hands and Synclair seemed to be working something over in her own mind.
“Pepper that was Amber’s story to tell, not yours.” I admonished gently. Pepper often spoke without thinking; something my mother had gotten on me about when I had been just a teenager.
Pepper’s eyes widened as it dawned on her that she had just spilled one of Amber’s painful secrets. Quick on her, she shrugged her slim shoulder and knelt by Amber’s chair.
“Your boobs look great Amber, you survived Cancer! You should own that. Shoot, I would love to have my little Hershey Kiss-size boobs made bigger.” Pepper told her in a soft voice.
I had to smile. Pepper was an amazing girl and even at her young age she had already figured out how to disarm a tense situation. Amber looked up from her hands and gave Pepper a horrified look.
“If you even think about messing with that perfect body of yours, I will shave your head and tattoo ‘Dork’ on the back of it,” Amber replied. She grabbed Pepper’s shoulders and shook her head as she continued her impassioned threat. “And if anyone tells you that those breasts of yours aren’t good enough, you grab one of Synclair’s bats and beat them until they apologize.” Amber finished with a severe glare toward Pepper. Pepper smiled and gave Amber one more hug as she rose from the floor.
“Okay Amber, the little itty, bitty titty committee it is then!” Pepper announced turning when she heard Matt make a choking noise.
Sighing, Pepper put her hands on her hips and looked anything but apologetic. Matt looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here, discussing Pepper’s breasts. “Sorry about that Matt, didn’t mean to traumatize you or anything. I just figured you’d be cool with the conversation since you were an escort and all.” Pepper shrugged as Matt flushed crimson. Grabbing Wyatt out of Dalton’s stunned hands, she disappeared into the kitchen.
“Wait. You’re a…” Amber began, but I cut her off.
“Yeah, okay later. I can only deal with one crazy at a time. You’re on my list but right now Matt is at the top.” I told Amber’s shocked face as I turned towards
my blushing man.
“Now! I didn’t say I was going to take Amber’s gift, and you and I have never discussed marriage, so don’t go deciding my life or the life of my animals for me, Matthew Hudson.” I demanded in my most serious voice.
I waited for the argument that I was sure was coming. Then he did something that I didn’t expect. Before I could even blink the man cupped my face in his large hands and crushed his lips to mine. Knowing we had an audience I resisted his dominating kiss, pushing against his chest as his arms wrapped around me, trapping me against his substantial heat. When he lifted his lips from mine, I made the mistake of parting my lips as I prepared to scold him. Taking the opportunity presented he slammed his lips to mine and thrust his tongue in my mouth. This wasn’t a dominating kiss like before. This was patient. He swirled his tongue with mine leaving no space of my mouth untouched. His hands rubbed up and down my spine and even as I fought the heat that was shooting straight down my belly to the place between my legs, I could feel my resistance waning. Like a patient hunter, he continued his assault until I was thrusting my hands in his dark hair and meeting his tongue thrust for thrust.
It could have been minutes or hours, I have no idea how long we kissed. When he finally ended the kiss with small pecks on my swollen lips and then my forehead, my lust filled gaze met his triumphant one. His message was clear. I was his, he was mine, and he would patiently wait me out until I came around to his way of thinking. There was no doubt by the mischievous look in his eye that he had every confidence that our future would be just as he had said it would be. Yet, while I tried to rile myself up at the arrogance of the way he was taking charge of my life, I couldn’t seem to muster much. In fact, a part of me felt relieved that all the big decisions weren’t just mine to make alone. That didn’t mean I was going to let Matt make decisions for my life, but I did feel strangely content at the realization that he wanted to be a permanent part of my life.
No Refunds No Exchanges: A Hudson Family Series- Book 4- Matt and Ali Page 30
