Had she really just asked that? Of course they should stop. They were crazy to have started in the first place. At least he’d come to his senses. She’d been ready to jump once again off the deep end.
This time, she did pull away, and he let her go.
“Vi. Please.” He paused. “I was thinking of you. A kiss is one thing, but this isn’t the right time or place to...”
He was right, of course. She, as much as him, had gotten carried away.
Acutely embarrassed, she averted her head. “I’m sorry. That shouldn’t have happened.”
“Hey, come on, now. Let’s not have any of that.”
“Any of what?”
He bent his head close to her. “Feeling bad. Regrets. We kissed because there’s something undeniable between us.”
“Yeah, a baby.”
“Feelings, Vi. Strong ones.”
He was right, and that was what scared her. She could have this baby with him, walk the delicate line between personal and business, as long as they kept their relationship casual.
Violet wanted to believe in the institution of marriage and that happy families weren’t a myth or the basis of a TV sitcom. But she’d grown up in a dysfunctional household and become the unwilling collateral damage of two parents determined to foist their misery on everyone else. She honestly didn’t know if she was capable of sustaining a healthy relationship with a man. Hadn’t her and Denny’s marriage gone down in flames?
Even scarier, what if she let Cole into her heart, made a commitment to him, only to lose the baby? What then? Would guilt cause him to stay with her despite his desire to return to the rodeo circuit? And if he did stay, he might very well grow to resent her.
Arm’s length. That was where she needed to keep him. For both their sakes.
“Come on,” she said. “Let’s look at the map.”
* * *
“I’LL TAKE A couple of those.”
Cole returned the serving spoon to the bowl of refried beans and stared pointedly at Gabe. “Your hand broken?”
Gabe dropped into a chair at the kitchen table. “Figured if you were already making yourself lunch, you could fix me some, too. Not like it’s work.”
Bean burritos. Raquel, not Cole, had prepared the fixings earlier in the day before taking Josh’s two kids with her to visit her friend in Mesa. They’d be gone until late afternoon. While the family usually ate breakfast and dinner together, lunch was a fend-for-yourself affair, depending on what each of them had scheduled for the day.
“One or two?” Cole asked.
He was in too good a mood to let anything or anyone spoil it, and had been that way since yesterday. His kiss with Vi was the reason. She may have tried afterward to pretend nothing happened, but something had happened. Something he was convinced she’d enjoyed as much as he had.
“Two.” Gabe poured himself a glass of ice water.
Cole took two more tortillas from the warmer, slapped them on a plate and passed it to Gabe. He could add his own beans and condiments.
Josh entered the kitchen from outside. “Hey, that looks good. Count me in.”
“Since when did I become the cook?” Cole grumbled.
“It’s refried beans on a tortilla.” Josh pulled out the chair between his two brothers and sat. “How hard can it be?”
Cole was sure Raquel had spent hours preparing the homemade tortillas and beans and assembling the fixings—shredded cheese, salsa, jalapeños and diced onions.
He went to the pantry and found an open bag of corn chips, which he set in the middle of the table. His brothers attacked the food like starving animals, whereas he tried to show at least a modicum of decorum.
It wasn’t often the three of them were alone in the house. At one time that would have created an awkward and unbearable situation. These days, they might not always agree, but they handled their disputes like adults rather than bickering children.
“How’s Violet?” Gabe asked between bites.
Cole stopped, the burrito inches from his mouth. Did Gabe suspect anything? Had he seen Cole and Vi kissing?
“Fine. She worked all morning, then went home a while ago for the rest of the day.”
“I saw her helping Leroy unloading supplies.”
“You did?” Cole frowned. “She’s supposed to be taking it easy. No lifting”
“She was. Taking it easy. Sort of.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing heavy. Some sacks and cartons.”
Cole decided to call Vi after lunch just to check on her. On second thought, he’d drop by instead.
“You two getting along okay?” Josh asked.
Again Cole’s suspicions were roused, and he answered hesitantly. “Great.”
“She’s easy to work with.” Josh snatched the bag of corn chips and dumped a second large helping onto his paper plate, along with a heaping serving of salsa.
Cole almost laughed. “Are you kidding? She’s a taskmaster and a perfectionist. Riding a bull is less work and less daunting.”
“She might make a rancher out of you yet,” Gabe mumbled between mouthfuls.
Remarks like that, ones implying Cole would eventually settle down and stay at Dos Estrellas, usually filled him with the urge to hit the road and the next town, pausing only long enough to pack his bags. Instead, he sat where he was, wondering if the feeling washing over him was contentment. It had been so long...
“I heard you and Joey fixed the leak in the pond.” Gabe bit into his second burrito.
“Joey’s the one who came up with the idea.”
“Whoever did, it’s working.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Cole cautioned. It was true, the pond level had been holding since yesterday, but it was much too soon to consider the plug secure and the problem resolved.
“That was pretty clever, though. Borax, huh?”
Cole shook his head. “I wouldn’t have thought of it.”
They stayed sitting at the table even after their lunch was consumed. Cole studied his brothers while trying not to be obvious.
What would their father think, seeing the three of them getting along and acting like, well, brothers? He’d probably smile and say that was his plan all along and the reason he’d left a third of Dos Estrellas to each of his sons rather than entirely to Gabe, as he’d always promised.
Would the ranch continue to do well without Cole if he left and returned to the rodeo circuit? Had he made any significant contributions, besides selling his roping horses last fall to generate revene, or had he simply been another pair of hands to help with the work and lighten the load?
If he returned to the circuit? Wait a minute. At what point during these past few months had his thinking changed?
Getting along with his brothers was part of the reason, he supposed. But there was also the baby to consider. Both the good example set by Josh and the bad example set by their father had Cole feeling his place might just be with Vi and their child rather than on the road.
There was also their recent kiss. It had affected him even more than making love with her. Their night together had been spontaneous, the result of circumstances neither of them anticipated. The kiss, however, was deliberate, the result of an affection far more profound than simple attraction.
That was not to say the sex hadn’t been satisfying. How could it be anything else? Vi was soft and curvy and, once she let down her guard, full of passion. But, just as he’d told her earlier, what he remembered best about their night together, what had mattered the most, was the intimate emotional connection they’d shared.
Funny, since Cole had a commitment phobia and tended to avoid those aspects of a relationship whenever possible. Plenty of women had accused him of running scared. Vi might be among them if he wound up
leaving Mustang Valley. But what choice did he have if he wanted to earn enough money to support their child?
“When will you be done?” Josh asked.
“Sorry.” Cole hadn’t been listening. “Done with what?”
“Inspecting the pregnant cows.”
“Oh, right. End of the day tomorrow, I hope.”
So far, none of the other pregnant cows appeared to have lost their calves. It was the kind of news they’d needed to hear.
“If you need help,” Josh said, “give me a holler.”
“I might take you up on that—” Cole was interrupted by his cell phone ringing. “Hang on a second.” Seeing Vi’s number on the display, he felt his heart rate spike. “Hi. How goes it?”
“Cole.” Panic filled her voice. “Something’s wrong.”
“What?” He was already shoving his chair back from the table. Had another cow aborted? Had the cattle broken through a hole in the fence and gotten onto the neighbor’s property?
“I’m bleeding.”
Cripes. He should have thought of her first. What a moron.
“The baby...” She broke into sobs.
“Did you call 9-1-1?”
“We’re too far out. You can drive me to the hospital faster. Dr. Medina said she’ll meet us there.”
Cole started for the door, fishing his keys from his jeans pocket, only to remember his truck was in the repair shop. “Hang tight. I’m on my way.” He moved the phone away from his mouth. “Josh, I need to borrow your truck.”
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s Vi. She’s bleeding.”
“Here.” Josh tossed him his keys.
“I’ll call you after I know more.” Cole pushed through the kitchen door and broke into a run.
Vi’s house was a short ten-minute drive away. Short any other day. Right now, he couldn’t get there fast enough and was grateful for only one stop sign in town to slow him down. Sweat pouring from his brow, he screeched to a stop on the street in front of her driveway. Without bothering to knock, he entered the house on the same wave of adrenaline that had carried him from Dos Estrellas.
“Vi! Where are you?”
“In here.”
He followed the sound of her voice to the living room. For the briefest fraction of a second, he recalled the two of them sitting on her overstuffed couch, unable to keep their hands off each other. Moments later, Vi had invited him into her bedroom.
The memory vanished at the sight of her lying on the couch, her legs elevated on a stack of decorative throw pillows.
“Are you all right?” He went to her side and crouched down.
“I still have cramps but the bleeding’s lessened. For now,” she added, her voice troubled, her green eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“Let’s go.” Without waiting for her to answer, he stood and picked her up as if she were a small child, one arm supporting her back, the other behind her knees.
“I can walk, Cole.”
He didn’t listen and headed for the door.
“My purse!” she cried out.
“Where is it?”
“The kitchen counter.”
She insisted on locking the house behind them, though he was too anxious to care. Settling her in the passenger seat, he buckled the seat belt, then raced around to the driver’s side.
“Thank you,” she said, when they were on the road.
“No problem.”
The look she gave him tore his heart in two. “I’m scared, Cole.”
He reached across the console to cup her cheek, wishing he could do more to reassure her. “It’s going to be okay, sweetie.”
She covered his hand with hers, visibly trying to compose herself. “Let’s hurry.”
He needed directions to the hospital in Scottsdale. They’d barely reached the outskirts of Mustang Valley when he insisted she recline her seat as much as possible and elevate her feet. She said little on the drive, other than “turn left” or “take this street, it’s quicker.” He glanced over at her often, alarmed by the sight of her pale face.
“How you doing?” he asked, when they were about a mile away.
“Hanging in there.” She looked more on the verge of a breakdown.
Not for the first time, he admired her courage and determination, something he’d seen her display often on the job. This, however, was different. Courage and determination in the face of a personal crises required incredible fortitude and strength of character. She had plenty of both.
She gazed worriedly out the window. “I shouldn’t have helped Leroy with those supplies.”
“You didn’t lift anything heavy, right?”
“No. Still, it was stupid. What if I...” She sobbed softly. “I’ll never forgive myself.”
“Nothing’s gone wrong yet.”
Luck was on their side when they arrived at the hospital. Cole would gladly have blocked the emergency entrance in order to save time, but because of a nearby available space, Josh’s truck would be spared a towing today.
Vi insisted on walking the short distance across the parking lot to the front entrance, when he would have carried her. Their sedate pace nearly drove him crazy.
Inside, they went straight to the check-in desk. As soon as Vi told the nurse on duty about her condition and symptoms, a wheelchair was produced and a stocky male attendant ordered her to sit.
“Ready for a ride?” he asked.
Cole stood there, unsure what to do next.
“Isn’t your husband coming with us?”
“He’s not my—”
“Yes, I’m coming,” Cole said, and went with Vi, holding her hand as they traveled the corridor. To his great relief, she didn’t correct the attendant.
Chapter Six
Cole didn’t leave Vi’s side. Not during the initial exam, which included the taking of her medical history. Not during the ultrasound, where seeing on the screen the blurry, gray image that was his child nearly caused his chest to explode. And not when Vi’s doctor finally delivered the encouraging news that all appeared normal and the bleeding had stopped.
Vi burst into tears, and Cole held on to the bed rail for support. He hadn’t realized how worried he was until this moment.
“I can’t stress enough that you get sufficient rest,” Dr. Medina said. “Stay in bed the next three days. Do not get out for any reason other than to shower or use the restroom. No more than one hour a day on your feet.”
“I’ll chain her down if necessary,” Cole promised.
“I’d like to see you on Friday, just for a quick follow-up.”
“We’ll be there.” Cole didn’t seek Vi’s permission before including himself.
“Call me, day or night, if there’s any more spotting or cramping.”
Vi nodded. Cole made a mental note to get the doctor’s number from her.
“Should I stay with her tonight?” he asked.
Dr. Medina visibly missed a beat before answering. She had probably assumed Cole and Vi lived together.
Recovering quickly, she said, “Yes, that would be wise. Perhaps for the next few days.”
Cole half expected Vi to complain, but she didn’t.
Dr. Medina reviewed a long list of instructions with them before saying she’d complete the paperwork for Vi’s discharge. Until the nurse came for her, she was to stay right where she was.
“Thank you,” Cole said to the doctor as she left.
“You take good care of her.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
His plan was to stick to Vi’s side for as long as necessary.
Maybe he should move in with her until the baby was born. Or at least until she passed the three-month mark. He studied her and tried to anticip
ate her reaction if he suggested it.
She appeared to be dozing as her eyes were closed and her face turned toward the wall. An empty chair sat beside the bed and he lowered himself into it. Earlier, he’d removed his cowboy hat. Now he plunked it on his head and gave the brim a firm tug.
The hat felt familiar and comfortable, like an old friend. He and this hat had been through a lot together. Rodeo wins and losses. Good times, bad times. Heartbreaks. Triumphs. Disappointments. He’d been wearing this hat when he got the news of his father’s death. Also when he learned he’d inherited a third of Dos Estrellas and again when he found out Vi was pregnant.
With luck, the hat would be with him when he became a father for the first time.
Cole closed his eyes and conjured up the fuzzy image on the ultrasound screen. Was that really a child? His and Vi’s? If he concentrated hard, he could discern a human shape. Head. Body. Even tiny arms and legs.
In that moment, Cole was struck with a wonder he’d never experienced before. Together, he and Vi had made a baby. Small now, but one day, a child he could bounce on his knee. Teach to ride and rope. Pass on his share of the ranch, if he didn’t sell to his brothers.
Was rodeoing what he truly wanted? He’d been so sure a short time ago. Now, he didn’t know. In large part because he questioned Vi’s feelings for him. She’d said she wanted him to remain in Mustang Valley. That might, however, only be as a responsible father who shared child-rearing duties. Not a romantic partner. Not a husband. Not a lover.
“Go home if you want,” she said softly. “I can manage alone.”
His head snapped up. “Like hell I’m leaving.”
“Raquel will be happy to help. Or Cara.”
“You and the baby are my responsibility.”
She studied him, her eyes unreadable and her tone carefully neutral. “Do you mean that?”
“Yes. And not just financially. I’m going to take care of you. Both of you.” Although at the moment, he didn’t know how he’d accomplish that.
She glanced away.
“What did I say wrong?” It seemed he was always putting his foot in his mouth.
“Nothing.”
“Then what’s the matter?”
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