He’d held me, sure…but for Reed and me, it’d always been our eyes.
I could relay a thought, or a feeling, just by looking at him.
He knew me, and I knew him, so freakin’ well, that literally all I had to do was look at him during a conversation with another person and he’d know exactly what I wanted.
So, by bringing my eyes up to his, I knew that he’d see everything.
My every thought and feeling. My wants and needs.
I wasn’t sure I was ready.
But Reed didn’t let me move again until I’d brought my eyes to his.
“There she is,” he grated.
I wanted to look away.
I would have…but the minute his gaze caught mine, I was frozen.
I couldn’t do a damn thing but stare.
“Ride me,” he ordered.
I tensed my thighs and pushed up, letting my body weight do the work as I slid back down on him.
My mouth opened in surprise.
This…this wasn’t like it used to be.
Every time I moved, he hit something inside of me that was causing my entire body to break out in shivers.
“What’s that look for?” he asked, smoothing his hand up my side, curling it around so he could cup the side of my neck.
“It feels…different,” I admitted. “Not bad…more intense, maybe.”
His eyes searched mine to make sure that I was telling him the full truth, and his mouth turned up in a grin.
“Pregnancy makes a lot of difference in this case,” he admitted. “The blood flow that’s already directed to your midsection makes everything else, even intercourse, more intense.”
I blinked. “It does?”
He nodded, then pulled me even closer until my lips were only inches away from his.
“Yeah,” he promised. “Doctor, remember?”
Then he kissed me, making me forget to move my hips.
He helped me move by using his other hand to urge my hips to move, but instead of pulling up off of him, I circled my hips and ground into him, making me cry out in surprised excitement.
God, that felt good!
So, I did it again, and again, and again.
I would’ve kept doing it, too, had he not started to push upward on the butt plug still in my ass, reminding me that it was there.
I knew he wanted to move it, and in order to do that I had to lift my hips.
So, I did, for him.
He held onto the base of the plug as I lifted off of him. Each time I pulled away, the plug as well as Reed’s cock would leave me. When I went back down, it’d return, filling me so full that it was nearly impossible to not feel excited by it.
I repeated the move, over and over again, until Reed stilled my hips.
“I want to fuck your ass.”
I froze with his cock half in, half out of me.
“Reed…” my hesitancy was palpable.
“It’s safe,” he promised. “And we’ll take it slow.”
I was shaking my head, at the same time I lifted my hips.
He fell out from inside of me and smacked against his stomach, making a wet slapping sound when he did.
The plug went too, somewhere on the floor if the thump from behind me was correct, and I shivered.
He moved his hand in between my legs.
“Normally I wouldn’t do this without lube,” he said. “But you’re so wet, and my cock is covered with you. Pretty sure you’ll be just fine.”
I bit my lip.
I wanted to ask him if he’d ever done this before, but again, that was a road I’d rather stay off of if at all possible.
I didn’t want to hear the real answer, and Reed would tell me the truth.
Sometimes it was easier to assume rather than know that he did.
His hand went around my hip as he guided his cock to sit straight up, and then he pressed lightly on my hip.
“Sit down slowly,” he urged.
I did, stopping when I felt him at my entrance.
“There’s another plug size!” I cried out.
He started to laugh, and hearing that sound, coming from this man’s mouth, was fucking amazing.
It’d been so long since I’d heard him laugh that I literally forgot what I was about to do for a short second.
God, his laugh had always been beautiful.
Now, it was a little deeper and huskier, but it was still heart-stoppingly amazing.
I lowered myself down even further, and this time, I kept my gaze directly on his, pausing when I felt him start making his way inside.
The feeling, though it didn’t hurt, wasn’t something I’d never get comfortable with.
Overwhelming was more along the lines.
“Breathe,” he whispered. “And push me out.”
My brows furrowed, but I did as he said, and froze when I felt him breach me even further.
And that hurt.
Not badly, but I definitely felt more than pressure.
I was so focused on the way it felt that I wasn’t prepared for him to touch my clit.
When he did, my entire body jolted, and I sank even further down onto his shaft.
Little tiny lights danced in my vision, and I came.
Everything locked down tight.
My vagina. My tight asshole. My jaw.
I cried out through my clenched teeth, and sank the rest of the way down on his cock.
One long, slow, languid glide.
“Fuck!”
I must’ve done it too fast, because the next thing I knew, he was coming.
I could feel his dick twitching inside of me as he filled me with his come, but I was too busy dying my own tiny little death to care about his.
My legs shook.
“Oh, God,” I breathed, reaching down and pushing his finger away from my clit. “Too much.”
And then I collapsed onto his chest, panting and spent, as I tried to figure out what in the hell had just happened.
***
Later—hours later—Reed got a page.
He didn’t make any promises as he climbed out of my bed, and I didn’t ask for any.
We’d always been like this—allowed our feelings to take center stage.
It was more than obvious to both of us that the feelings we had for each other had never been in question.
We still wanted each other. Me, though? I still loved him.
I’d tried forgetting. I’d tried ignoring. I’d tried dating.
Nothing, and I do mean nothing, worked.
I knew that I’d go to sleep and dream about him. It never failed. Never.
He was my dreams.
Luckily, I wasn’t the only one dreaming.
Chapter 11
Life would be easier if I could mark people as spam.
-Reed’s secret thoughts
Reed
I never set out to have sex with her that day.
Honestly, we were just enjoying being together when it sort of just happened.
I’d gotten my apartment using the grant money I’d been awarded, and paid the six-month lease in full just that day.
There was a bed in the bedroom. A nightstand with one lamp, and a suitcase in the corner of the room.
There were leftovers from my parents’ house in the fridge and that was it.
This was the first time in six months that we’d actually had time alone where there wasn’t someone else in the house outside of our own four walls.
“Pizza sound good to you?” she asked, sounding excited.
I grinned and picked up the phone, placing an order for a large pizza before going back to find her on the couch.
She was bouncing on the cushion, looking at me excitedly.
“I don’t even know what to do with myself,” she whispered. “What do we do now?”
I took the seat next to her and turned, pulling her into my lap.
/> She came willingly, her smile brilliant.
“Now…I don’t know. I don’t have cable yet, and honestly, I’m not so sure that I can hack it,” I admitted. “After I get my next paycheck, I’ll have to see what’s left once I buy all the shit I need for this place.”
She nodded.
“Your mom gave you some towels and dishes, though, right?” she looked around worriedly.
I nodded.
“Well…” she paused. “I don’t know what to do either.”
Then she dropped her lips to mine.
One thing led to another, and soon I found her breast in the palm of my hand.
My thumb swept over the nipple, and the hiss she let out was enough to make my dick harder than a rock.
I’d had sex before, of course.
But it’d never felt like this—and I wasn’t even doing anything yet.
I was shaking. Literally shaking.
I kept telling myself that I'd done this before, but for some reason this felt like so much more.
"Are you sure?" I rasped, pulling back long enough to see into her eyes.
She looked just as caught up as I was in what we were doing.
She nodded. "Very sure."
I swallowed despite the dry throat, and motioned for her to stand.
"Let's do this in our bed."
"Our bed?"
She smiled at that, and I couldn't help the return smile as she stood.
And when we were in the bed, her sprawled out on it, legs slightly parted, I finally realized that this woman was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
We may be young, but I knew exactly what I wanted. Her.
That wasn't going to change.
Not today, tomorrow, or fifteen years from now.
She was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
And, as I smoothed a condom down over my cock and crawled up between her legs, I wasn't scared.
Something so perfect could never end, could it?
***
I woke from the dream with a start.
I was sitting up straight in bed, and my eyes were locked on the wall beyond me.
There was a picture of Krisney on my nightstand. And beside that was a grainy photo of the ultrasound labeling the tiny forms of Hail #1 and Hail #2.
I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, willing my heart to slow.
It was hammering, just like that time in my dream, too.
I swallowed bile.
I'd been so fucking wrong.
Not about the loving her part, but about it ending.
The girl had grown into a beautiful woman, and my love for her hadn't ended. I still had the same old feelings for her now that I did all those years ago, and I always would.
But every time I tried to take that step in her direction, guilt riddled me.
My sister wasn't alive anymore. She wasn't alive because of Krisney's brother. She'd taken her own life because she couldn't live with what he'd done to her.
Could I do that to her?
No.
Everything was still the same.
I loved her, but I couldn't be with her. It would be like a slap in the face to my sister—my parents.
My mom and dad didn't have a thing to say about the path I'd taken in my life.
They'd let me make my own mistakes just as they'd done with my brothers.
Honestly, they might not have ever said anything when it came to Krisney and me being together. Neither would my brothers. But I didn't want any of them to inadvertently take anything out on Krisney. I didn't want her to ever feel like she wasn't wanted.
I laughed harshly at that thought because wasn’t that exactly what I was doing to her?
I may not be saying the words to her, but I was practically throwing them at her each time I left her and her bed. Or her altogether.
Stomach tight with disgust, I rolled out of my empty bed and walked into my kitchen.
The apartment I was in was much like the one I'd had when I'd first gotten together with Krisney.
I had a plate, fork, cup and a knife to eat with. I had one towel. A bed and a nightstand with a lamp on it.
At this point, that was pretty much it.
I'd lived light through my years in the Army. Most of that time I'd lived out of a single sack, not caring in the least that I had to keep my possessions light.
Now, I just plain didn't care what I had. Mostly because what I had now didn't matter if I didn't have Krisney.
Slamming the coffee pot lid closed a little harder than needed, I stalked back to the bedroom and threw on a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt.
Today I'd be picking up a shift with Hail Auto Recovery since quite a few of them were sick with a random case of the stomach bug.
I just hoped I didn't get it.
I hated throwing up. I turned into a different person when I threw up.
I'd gotten drunk once and only once, mostly because of the hangover I'd had afterward. Nausea didn't agree with me.
Which was kind of hypocritical seeing as I worked with pregnant women all day. Pregnant women who were nauseous—and throwing up—a lot of the time.
Krisney. Had she been nauseous? She hadn't said she was. Fuck, I hope she wasn't.
Though, it was very likely that she had been at some point.
She was pregnant with twins. The hormones that caused the nausea in the first place were doubled.
Fuck, I really hoped she wasn't sick. I hated seeing her hurt. She'd gotten the stomach bug one time while we'd been together, and seeing her throwing up while I was powerless to do anything was honestly quite debilitating.
Which, if I were being truthful, had been one of the reasons why I’d ultimately left the night before. I didn’t actually have to go in. I’d gotten a call saying a patient was going to the hospital for what she suspected were contractions, but I’d known better. She was a first-time pregnant woman, only thirty-seven weeks, and it likely was that she was only having Braxton Hicks contractions.
I didn’t need to leave.
I could’ve waited to hear…but I’d taken the chicken shit way out and left while I had a good excuse.
Now, I was fucking regretting it.
I hadn’t gotten another call that night.
I’d lain in bed for hours looking at the ceiling fan spin.
All the while, I’d thought of nothing but her.
And when my brother had called around three to ask if I was willing to work for a couple of hours today, I’d agreed.
Now, I was headed out to pick up a tow truck, and I tried really hard not to think about the fact that I’d left a pregnant woman—pregnant with my babies—home alone in a house I knew she hated because I was the biggest coward in the world.
I was scared to get close again.
I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to walk away a second time.
The four or so hours that I worked—seeing as it was Saturday—were uneventful. I’d picked up my share of cars over my time after having being roped in by my brothers, Dante and Travis.
It’d never really been my passion, though, like it was theirs.
Me, I was more interested in studying.
Which I did. Hard.
When I no longer had Krisney around to pull my attention away from my studies, I didn’t do anything that didn’t revolve around having my nose stuck in a book. Once I’d graduated with my MD, I’d joined the Army, and then I was never home, except for rare occasions while on leave.
During those visits, I’d gotten my hands dirty with them.
But once I’d realized that being with them also meant the possibility of seeing people who would look at me like I’d kicked their puppy, I’d started going to Tobias’s place in Alabama. But being in Alabama also meant that there was a possibility that I’d see Krisney.
Which I did.
More than I was willing to admit to since I
’d been a fucking stalker.
And speaking of the devil…
My eyes hit on somebody broken down on the side of the road.
I’d just dropped off a repo for the new bank two towns over, and I was on the main road heading back into town, when I saw her.
She was on the side of the road, her lemon of a car directly behind where she sat leaning against the car’s hood.
I pulled up in front of her, nose-to-nose with her car, and got out.
Her expression was pleasant and eyes welcoming—until she realized that it was me getting out of the truck.
I saw the moment that her eyes closed down, and a frown formed on her face.
“What are you doing in that?” She narrowed her eyes.
Amusement lit my insides as I rounded the hood.
My eyes scanned the street, automatically assessing what was around us.
We weren’t in the middle of town, but it might as well have been.
There was the Taco Shop to the right of where Krisney’s car was broken down and to the left was the fucking bank. Two storefronts down from that was the farmers market. One down from that was the feed store.
Every single place had at least four people out front talking.
“Couldn’t have found a better place to break down?” I asked, ignoring her question.
Krisney shrugged. “I have no control over where I break down, Reed.”
She sounded angry, and I had to fight the smile that was threatening to break loose.
I loved it when she was mad.
She was like a little spitfire, and I fucking loved it.
Maybe a little too much for a man that was supposed to be staying away from her.
Did that stop me from walking up to her and pressing my hand to her belly?
No.
But when I did that, I hadn’t been thinking about all the people who were staring at us.
I’d only been thinking that I wanted to fucking touch her.
So, I did.
“You doing okay?” I asked.
It was ninety-five degrees out at two in the afternoon. She was sweating, and her face was hot. So sue me for wanting to check to make sure she was okay.
She pressed her hand on top of mine and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just annoyed.”
I snorted.
“I think it’s time to trade ‘er in.” I smoothed my hand over her belly. “You won’t be by yourself much longer, and it’d fucking suck if you broke down further away from town without any way to get a hold of us.”
The Hail You Say Page 10
