by Mia Petrova
FALLING FOR THE AU PAIR
MIA PETROVA
Chapter One
London, England
London is a city of dreams.
My dreams really.
The place felt right for my Au Pair program. An Au Pair is a foreign girl that takes the full job of a child or children’s care. The hosting family expects the Au Pair to be an active part of the family. At least, that’s what I read on a brochure.
People said it was crazy for me to do this, especially for someone my age. But I thought, what the hell? The Au Pair program is something different, something that can make a person grow. I always loved kids, that’s why I was a kinder garden teacher the moment I was old enough to teach. Then, a friend came to me and told me about this program, where you can travel anywhere and become someone a child can depend on. It’s kind of like a nanny, but more intense. I needed something different after what had happened to me.
A few weeks later on, I was a twenty-six all-American girl standing outside the house of a new family, and I felt terrified. An Au Pair is supposed to be a new member of the family, someone they can all rely on.
What if they didn’t like me?
What if the child didn’t like me? Oh God, was this a bad idea?
Suddenly, the door opened and a woman appeared. “Oh, hello there, you must be Audrey,” she said with a very sweet voice I recognized after spending so many hours talking with her on the phone.
A little shaky, I smiled and offered my hand. “Y-yes. That’s me. I’m Audrey.”
My heart pounded so loud I thought it would shake the entire world. All my insecurities however, vanished the moment I saw a small little girl hiding behind the woman’s legs. Her blonde hair looked like gold in the sunlight. Her bright and big eyes stared straight at me, maybe evaluating me as I was doing with her. And it was cute how her pink dress looked too big on her tiny body, as if she was all dressed up for me.
Kneeling to her size, I watched her the same way she watched me – with curiosity, fear, but most importantly, with enthusiasm.
“I think I found myself a princess to look after,” I said, giving her my best smile.
When she returned the expression, I saw her timid face transform into a happy, warm and fearless girl. In a blink of an eye, she was throwing her arms around my neck, giggling as though she had found a new best friend. And oh, how I loved that innocent sound resonating in my ears.
Noticing she wouldn’t let go of me anytime soon, I stood up with her tiny body in my arms. She was quite small for a six-year-old.
“Look at that,” the sweet woman said.
If I didn’t know that the mother in the family had passed away a few years ago, I would have thought that the woman standing there, looking at us like a proud mom, was really her mother. Gloria had brown hair, delicate eyes and was maybe at her fifties. She was the manager of the house and I would work with her every day for a few hours.
“And you must be Gloria. It’s really nice to meet you,” I finally said to her, smiling. I liked her, our talks on the phone about the family and the work were relaxed and easy.
She was about to invite me in, it was my guess, when a man appeared in the hallway behind her. At first, I didn’t see much, I only saw a robust man walking toward the door. There was too many shadows. He had a nice stance, and he looked very confident.
“I’m Rachel. And If I’m a princess, my daddy is the king, right?”
Distracted by Rachel’s voice, my attention went to her beautiful face. “Absolutely.”
She laughed while her tiny fingers played with my short ginger hair. It was there when I was gazing at her that I first heard his voice.
“Audrey,” he said, with a speck of a smile. His first word? My name. “Please do come in.”
Swallowing hard, I turned my head to the door, where Rachel’s father now stood next to Gloria. It was difficult to think and even formulate words. With only the deepness and roughness of his voice, and oh, the accent, made my heart crazy inside my chest.
The sight of him, however, made all the blood in my body turn into liquid fire. He was tall and robust. His clothes fit him perfectly with a brown t-shirt, black jacket and jeans. He had short, dark blonde hair while his eyes were crystal blue. I never once called a man gorgeous, but damn, he was indeed gorgeous. He must’ve be in the house of forty something, as the lines around his eyes were already there. It was really attractive how it marked his face, though. Yet, what struck me the most was his eyes. I’ve never seen so tired eyes before. His smile didn’t quite fit his appearance. He was a serious man, not one to play with. I had to keep that in mind.
If it wasn’t for Rachel’s weight in my arms and the presence of Gloria right next to him I would have said or done something really stupid.
“Mister Abram, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” I said and hugged Rachel’s body tightly to my chest to have an excuse to not offer my hand for him to shake.
His skin touching mine own was the last thing I wanted.
“Thomas. Please call me Thomas,” he said and placed his hands inside his pockets.
Without anymore delays, we were all bundled up in the living room. I had Rachel sitting in my lap while Gloria and Mister Abram explained how everything worked. I already knew all the basics, now I was learning all about Rachel’s schedules. Gloria did most of the talking really, because a few minutes after we were all sitting there, Thomas’s cell phone rang. After answering in the kitchen, which was right in the next room, Thomas appeared, walked to me in confident steps and kissed Rachel’s forehead.
He was so close I could smell his perfume. It was delicious and enthralling, but not as much as the moment he lifted his head after kissing Rachel and looked me right in the eye.
“It was a pleasure to meet you, Audrey. We’ll talk later.”
Without trusting my vocal cords, I nodded and gave him a simple smile. And in that moment I never felt more embarrassed. I was in that house to take care of Rachel, to be a part of that girl’s life and be someone she could really count on. And there I was, head over heels over her father. Taking a deep breath, I told my mind to stop that nonsense. It would never happen and I wouldn’t risk my relationship with Rachel.
*****
A few months ago, Gloria’s idea for having someone, an Au Pair, at the house exclusively to take care of Rachel and be more active with her sounded like the best idea. Now I wasn’t so sure. Maybe because I had this thought in my head that the person was going to be older, like those nannies that we often see in television when the wife hires someone that cannot tempt the husband.
Gloria had played me, it seems. The woman was more than the manager of the house, she often looked like the mother I never had, even though she was a few years older than I was. And the subject of how lonely I felt was pretty much out there, to everyone to see.
I was a man still hurting about the death of his wife. And she had died more than four years ago. It was twice as hard when Rachel bared her entire soul. Physically, Rachel was just like me, but the goodness, the smiles, the giggling; it was everything Sarah once was. It’s difficult to move on when you see pieces of your dead wife every time you look at your daughter.
Seeing Rachel with Audrey, though, made all the wrong kind of feelings to surface. I was at the kitchen, studying a new murder case when a gentle and sweet voice came crashing and penetrating through the entire house. It sent chills throughout my body. Good chills that I haven’t felt for quite some time.
It felt good.
Too good.
I stood there for a moment, paralyzed, not knowing what to do with the sudden feelings that seemed to reach me through infinite walls of solitude. But I had to move, I had to meet her soon
er or later.
Forcing my legs, I moved my muscles and went for the hallway. Instantly I saw a woman standing outside my door, holding my daughter tightly in her arms. It was quite a vision. A sight that messed me up inside. I liked that image with the ginger girl. A girl that would be noticed among thousands upon thousands of girls.
Taking note of the hardness of my body for the first time since I couldn’t remember, I was then standing next to Gloria. I said a few words to Audrey while I tried to let her beauty take in. She was young, younger than I thought she would have been, but nonetheless, she wasn’t a girl, was she? She was a young woman. A beautiful young woman with short ginger hair. Her eyes were dark though, almost black, which set her beauty apart. I thanked Rachel for being in her arms, covering most of her chest and her curves. Only the sight of her legs in those jeans, however, made all the blood center in the middle of my legs.
Bloody hell, was I supposed to be living with her?
In the same hallway? The same house?
Thank God when my phone rang when we were in the living room, demanding my presence at work. My partner finally had gotten a great lead about the murder case we were working on.
I thought about leaving with just a little wave and a faraway goodbye, but I didn’t want to break tradition. I always kissed Rachel’s forehead before leaving to work, and if I didn’t do that, Gloria would surely notice something was happening to me.
Therefore, I went there, I kissed my beautiful daughter’s forehead while Audrey’s great presence unsettled my every thought and movement. When I lifted my head and saw her face staring straight at me, I sensed this rare smell of lilies.
Holy hell, she was exceptional.
I loved the way she gazed at me with those big dark eyes.
All I knew was that I was going to be thinking about her instead of the dead girl I was supposed to be helping. What a great lead detective I was going to be today.
Chapter Two
My first day with the Abram family moved so fast that I didn’t even see it.
Gloria showed me to my room, which was right next to Rachel’s. I felt relieved. I didn’t want to be next to Thomas’s room, in which was down the hall, next to the bathroom. The house wasn’t small, but it wasn’t big either. It was comfortable. Every room seemed to have the perfect size, and Gloria kept everything neat and clean.
I stayed in my room for a few hours, rearranging my things while trying to feel at home. Rachel was there, in my bed, telling me everything about her. I listened, giggled and enjoyed every single word she said to me. She was the most adorable girl I had ever met. Suddenly, I never felt so lucky.
It was difficult not to think about her father though, because Rachel talked about him all the time. And how could she not when she was his daughter and loved him very much?
“My daddy is a detective, he helps people,” she said while we were in the living room playing with her LEGOS.
“Really? I didn’t know that,” I replied, clearly showing how surprised I was with the revelation.
It all made sense now. That’s why he walked with that much confidence, and how he transmitted security with simply standing next to you. That’s why he looks so very tired. For all the TV shows I watched, the detectives always worked too much and too hard.
“Yeah. My daddy is the best hero of this town.”
I smiled with that comment. “I’m sure he is, Rachel.”
“So, you don’t have to ever feel afraid, Audrey. Because he always takes the bad guy.”
“Wow, you’re not just a little girl, are you?” I said, getting a little closer to her. “I think you’re tricking me into believing you’re a little girl. Are you tricking me, Rachel?” I was now sitting right at her side.
She laughed. “No, I’m not tricking you.”
“Well, I think you are,” I said and put my fingers on her belly, beginning to tickle her senseless.
Her giggles and screams rushed to every nick and crane of the house. Her sounds so innocent and enchanting it was hard not to laugh with her.
“I swear, Audrey,” she yelled while tears of too many tickling escaped her eyes.
“Okay, then, I believe you,” I murmured and stopped.
But with children it never really stops. Rachel turned to me and then she began to tickle me. She was a smart little one.
Moments later, we were both running through the house, laughing and screaming. I could hardly breathe with so much adrenaline when the front door opened and Thomas appeared. I was with my back on the floor and I had Rachel right on top of me. I stopped giggling and tried to sit when I saw that Thomas was just standing there in the doorway, with the key still in the door while a serious expression marked his tired face. Noticing my distress, Rachel left my stomach and sat on the floor right next to me. We were both sitting there while watching at him. I felt paralyzed because I thought he was mad, and Rachel must’ve felt the same thing at how quite she was.
Thomas closed the door and locked the door. “Please, don’t stop at my account,” he said, breaking the silence with a voice so rough and a smile so tortured that I desperately wanted to run toward him and put my arms around his neck.
Still as I was, I only watched as Rachel ran to Thomas and hugged his long legs.
“Audrey is so cool, daddy,” the little girl said, with a big fat smile.
Thomas didn’t smile, only nodded and then gazed at me, still on the floor. Frowning, as though I couldn’t believe I was still sitting there, I stood and walked to the living room where I started to gather all the LEGO pieces.
“Audrey, can I have a word with you?”
The question came out of nowhere, startling me as my heart began to pound against my ribs. Dropping what I was doing, I searched for Thomas.
“He went in the kitchen,” Rachel said, kneeling on the ground and continued what I was doing.
With shaky legs, I went to the kitchen. I didn’t know what to expect, but to find a troubled dad with his hands on the counter with his back to me was not it.
“I’m sorry if I-”
“Thank you.”
We said at the same time.
With the intertwined of words, he turned around. I didn’t like what I saw. There was shadows under his eyes that made him look even more tired than he looked.
Frowning and not understanding his words, I asked, “Thank me for what?”
“I haven’t seen Rachel filled with that much joy since her mother died,” his voice was strong, his expression haunted.
“But that…that was four years ago,” I murmured, a pain taking place right in the middle of my chest.
“You can now understand why I was so shocked when I walked in and saw you.”
My God, this family was hurting so much.
And for so long.
Swallowing hard, I nodded. “Yes. I can understand that.”
With the kitchen table standing between us, I watched as Thomas walked around it and stopped inches away for me. I couldn’t look away, not when his gaze looked so determined.
Was his breathing hard or was I imagining that?
“You’ve been here for mere a day and you already made a difference. I don’t know what is it about you, but I’m starting to believe that there’s a light inside you ready to take all the darkness from this house,” he said, without faltering his gaze a single time.
I for one didn’t want to move. I wanted his brave words engraved in my soul. But for some reason I knew they would be there for all eternity. There stood a man that knew he had a darkness inside himself and he was ready to put it away. Honest words are the best words.
I took his example. “I’m here to help both of you. Not just Rachel, but you too, Mister Abram.”
He nodded. “By helping her you’re automatically helping me.”
I wanted to say that that wasn’t what I meant, but he just turned around and went to get something to drink on the refrigerator.
“There’s food for you on the microwave,
” I said, walking directly to it and taking it out for him.
“Oh, I’m not hungry.”
“You should eat. You look very tired,” the words escaped my mouth before I was able to stop myself. Breathing hard, I stood with the plate in my hands while the silence took root.
Then, Thomas was moving toward me, taking the plate from my hold. “You don’t need to worry about me. It’s my job to take care of you and Rachel.”
Our gaze met and I realized he was closer than what I expected. His eyes were so deep that I thought they could see right into my core, my very soul. I took a long breath and nodded. I loved how he had included me into that sentence. How he thought of me along with his daughter, someone worthy enough of his protection. And we only just met.
“I’ll put Rachel to sleep.”
*****
She was filled with the purest of lights. And for a man like me, filled with something obscure, she might be the answer. Seeing her laugh with Rachel had been the joy of my day. The joy of the past four years really. I thought I would never see my daughter giggle again, and then, there she was, sitting on Audrey’s stomach as if she was a light fairy throwing her some pixie dust. My heart now hurt with a whole other reason.
I wouldn’t mess it up by involving myself with Audrey. Even if it killed me.
And I pretty much died a little.
For the days that passed, I was happy for Rachel, but dying because of my attraction to Audrey. The first week was hard. I jumped myself into work, working from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m. and still it wasn’t enough. Every time I saw Audrey, even if it was a tiny second, my heart would jump and thump into my aching ribs. That was not even the bad part of it. I was aroused almost 24/7, a damn erection that would never cease. Everything because of her. The mere thought, a vision, would get me hard and pulsing. The nights, knowing that she was there, mere steps away from me was eating me alive. Sexual attraction never bothered me before, especially not at this intense, burning level. And I never even touched her. Not even a grazed of fingers.
In the third week, I tried to be more connected to Rachel. But my daughter was attached to Audrey more than I ever could. In every conversation we had was – Audrey this, Audrey that. It was cute, it was adorable, and I could see that my daughter already loved her. Audrey was easy to fall in love with, I suppose. Or it just affected the Abram family.
