by Natavia
“They ready to break my ass!” O’Shea joked. I stood there admiring his family. Was this something I could get used to if Latavia was carrying my seed?
I went into my pocket and peeled off six one-hundred-dollar bills. I put them in Shia’s hand. She held one into the light acting just like her smart mouth mama, “Girl, what you doing?” I asked.
“Just checking!” she said and we laughed.
“Fake nigga! Fake nigga!” Tookie said.
“Can I please just shoot the damn bird?” I asked.
“I feel you on that one! I hate that damn thing! If Shia didn’t love her so much, I would deep-fry her ass!” O’Shea said.
“Stop talking about my Tookie!” Shia held her arm out and Tookie hopped on it. I shook my head.
“Ay, yo, I need to rap to you about something,” I told him when Britain and Shia walked off.
“Cool, let’s go downstairs to the bar,” he said.
I poured me a shot of Henny and downed it, “So, what’s up?” he asked.
“I think Latavia knocked up,” I told him.
“Congrats then nigga!” he said slapping me on the back.
“I don’t know how I feel about the shit! I mean, I told her I’m not ready for any kids, right? Then she told me neither is she. So, I’m like cool she going to get an abortion. Then I’m thinking about the shit and I’m not even sure I want that shit to happen! I don’t want nothing serious right now, though! You know me and you know I’m all about my grind! But at the same time, I feel some type of way about her. She got me doing shit I never used to do. She spoils a nigga and when she yaps off with her mouth and I don’t even say shit to her, my nigga! The shit crazy! The last few times we fucked, I didn’t even strap my jimmy up!” I vented.
“Damn, nigga, you got it bad like Usher!” he fell out.
“Nigga, I know you not talking!” I said to him.
“What you mean by that?” he asked.
“I mean, you got it bad for Britain! You been in love with her ass since you was a little nigga! She was in love with your ass too! You got her living here and you cut all those bitches off with the exception of that one slip up with Jordan. Nigga, you love that girl. You stay getting jealous and you stay questioning her ass. If she walked out of here to be with another nigga right now, I bet you that you would dust that nine off!” I told him.
“So what, that’s mine!” he said and I shook my head, sipping my Henny.
“Something wrong with us! I love the fuck out her ass! But I can’t even tell her! Every time I’m ready to, I hear my pops’ bitch-ass voice in my head telling me bitches ain’t shit!” he said.
“I don’t know man, the shit is crazy how I go from just wanting to smash the broad. Then I started spoiling her ass and next thing I know, I’m kissing her and you know I don’t like that shit! She fucking with a nigga! I can’t even trap how I want to because, when she calls me, I drop everything! I don’t know, man, this shit crazy!” I brushed my hand over my waves.
“Damn, nigga! I don’t know what to say! But, Britain knows how I feel about her, though,” he said and I shook my head. I understood why women always telling us niggas we ain’t shit! We sitting here drinking like someone died all because we have strong feelings for someone. But a nigga was just not ready!
I told O’Shea everything about what Beans found in Janae’s phone and what her mama told me about her.
“That bitch crazy like that? So, when you fucked the bitch you basically had a three-some?” he asked.
“I wish! The bitch just laid there like I was raping her! That Carla bitch didn’t show up at all! She must don’t like a nigga!” I said and he laughed with tears in his eyes.
“Why you always fucking with these crazy bitches? I bet Latavia the only normal one,” he said.
“Yo, her ass creeps me out sometimes! When we sleep, right, she presses her feet against my leg hard as fuck so she can crack her toes! That shit sounds nasty!” I told him.
“Yo, Britain does some weird ass shit, too! She plays with my bottom lip before she goes to sleep! That shit pisses me off! I wake up in the morning lip chapped like a motherfucker and sore. I don’t know where she gets that weird shit from!” he said and I laughed.
“Did you know your pops was fucking with Janae? He been fucking her since she was a youngin’. No wonder the bitch used to have name brand shit and all that jewelry! He kept her crazy ass laced!” I told him.
“Naw, I didn’t know he was doing it like that. Yo, I swear I hate that nigga. When I catch up to his ass, I’m merking him! I put that on everything!” he stated seriously. I believed him too because he wasn’t a punk. You would’ve thought O’Shea was born and raised in the hood the way he was busting at niggas years ago. Just because you wasn’t born in the hood didn’t mean you couldn’t have a hood nigga mentality.
“So, what's up with ma dukes? How is she doing?” I asked O’Shea about his mother.
“She doing real bad now from what Britain told me. She and Shia go to see her like every day but for some reason I can’t see her again. I saw her once since she been in hospice,” he said.
“Damn, nigga. That’s some deep shit but you got to see about your mother. She wasn’t a good mother to you but she raised y’all daughter as her own. She could’ve been on some Yager shit, too,” I said.
“I’m going to holla at her when I’m ready,” he said ending the subject.
O'Shea
I walked into the hospice and goosebumps formed on my arms. This place was like death and you could smell it. It was sad and empty. When I walked into my mother’s room, Jordan’s ass was sitting down next to her bed.
“Yo, what the fuck you doing here with my mama?” I asked her. I wasn’t supposed to be nowhere near this bitch!
“My grandmother is in here down the hall! I heard this is your mama and I wanted to meet her! You never introduced us, O’Shea! Why is that?” she asked with a smirk on her face. I looked at my mother and she was in a deep sleep. I felt her pulse because I didn’t trust this crazy bitch. She seemed like the type that would try to do something to her.
“I would never do anything like that to hurt you!” she said rubbing my chest. She kissed my lips and I shoved her into the door.
“Bitch, you don’t know who you fucking with! I will kill your ass if you keep fucking with me! Stay your crazy ass away from my fucking mama!” I told her and she laughed walking out.
I sat down in the chair next to my mother’s bed. Her face had sunken in and her hair had thinned out. She looked seventy years old instead of forty-one.
“Is that crazy bitch gone yet?” she asked and I laughed.
“I thought you was sleep,” I said.
“No, I pretended to be! These nurses don’t pay attention to our asses! Anyone can just walk into our rooms! They don’t give a damn about us! We already dying as it is! When she first walked in, I closed my eyes,” she said.
“You wild, Ma!” I told her.
She tried sitting up a little bit and I helped her up. I passed her the Styrofoam cup filled with ice water because her lips were dry.
“How are my two girls? I love that Britain girl! She is so full of life even if she came from a rough one. I really do admire her. She has a beautiful personality. No wonder you couldn’t stay out of that hood! That place was a damn mess! It looks like a hood out of Kingston, Jamaica. I’m glad you had a baby by her because those other little fast-tail girls I have seen would’ve gave me a heart attack!” she said and I laughed.
“There you go, Ma, talking about those fast girls,” I said.
“That little bitch that was just in here is fast and I don’t like her! I don’t like her music and, when I saw y’all in the tabloids together, I was going to lose it!” she said.
“Ma, you don’t like nobody!” I told her.
“That’s because I had a rough life before I became a doctor. My mama lost her kids to the system and my daddy couldn’t stay out of jail. I had to go live with
my aunt who was an alcoholic! I had it bad but I made it. Then I thought I found love. Your father came in the hospital from a gunshot wound. I was only a pre-med then. But anyways, I fell in love with him. He was so charming but after I had you then that’s when my fairytale came to an end. His true colors started showing and that’s when I realized it was all a façade. I know I was a horrible mother to you and I am paying for it now. I just wanted the perfect life and when I saw I didn’t have it, I started withdrawing from it. I started working more to escape the pain,” she said with tears in her eyes. A few tears fell from mine.
“I didn’t want a son because I was afraid that you might turn out like your father! He is really crazy, O’Shea! He is manipulative and evil! I’m sorry for punishing you because of how I felt about your father!” she cried.
“Why did you stay with him? He used to cheat on you! Why didn’t you just leave him and take me with you? He fucked up my life, Ma! I didn’t realize it until I got older! He is the reason I didn’t know I had a daughter! You didn’t need him for anything!” I told her.
“I didn’t need him but you have to understand that I came from nothing! I wanted the perfect life with my perfect job. I wanted to prove to my family that I had it all! But after all these years I realized the only thing I needed was you! I am really sorry!” she said and I hugged her.
“Boy, what you been working out? Your arms almost swallowed me whole!” she joked.
“You know I got to stay fit!” I told her.
“Thanks, Ma, for raising Shia although you didn’t tell me that she was my daughter. I’m glad that it was you and not some orphanage that she would’ve ended up in,” I said.
“I’m getting tired, O’Shea. Kiss Shia for me and tell her I love her. Make sure you guide her through building a bond with Britain. I notice that she leans more to you maybe because she knew you before she met her mother. But don’t let it happen a lot, so that way, it doesn’t feel like Britain is being punished. You have a beautiful family,” she said wiping her eyes.
“See, you later, Ma!” I kissed her forehead as she closed her eyes.
I walked to the front desk and cursed all those bitches out for just letting anyone go in my mama’s room. This was supposed to be one of those high-priced, all around facilities. This shit was pitiful in here!
“Sir, she said that she was your wife!” the middle-aged lady said to me.
“That’s rapper O’Shea! He isn’t married!” the black nurse said to the middle- aged woman.
“I don’t listen to rap, so I wouldn’t know!” she told her then turned to me, “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again! I will talk to whoever’s shift it was when she signed in,” she told me.
When I got into my Porshe Panamara, I car dialed Rissa and she answered the phone. “You giving me my job back?” she asked. She was good at what she did but she couldn’t turn her friendship off with Jordan while working for me.
“Why the fuck did you tell that bitch where my mother was at? Do you know this bitch was in my mother’s room when I came to visit her? The media doesn’t even know about my mother! The only person who does is you, so I know you told her! Bitch, you will never get another job in this industry! You better hope like hell she doesn’t pop up again or I will file a lawsuit for giving out personal information! Your life will be fucked up, shorty! Keep fucking with me!” I yelled into the phone.
“I can explain!” she said.
“Bitch, you heard me! She pops up one more time, and you will see how gutta a nigga can be! You lucky you are a bitch, because if you wasn’t, I swear, shorty, I would be catching a charge!” I hung up on her.
Britain
I was on Instagram and Jordan Liles had a picture of her posing next to O’Shea’s sick mother. The caption read: “We go through a lot and no one is perfect but in his time of need I am here for him!”
I went to Shia’s room and she was polishing Tookie’s claws pink. “Shia, you want to go to grandma’s house?” I asked and she jumped up.
“Crack-head!” Tookie said.
“Shut the hell up, Tookie!” I told her.
“I will go!” she said and I laughed because she liked going over there. My mama still said anything she wanted and my sweet little Shia loved every bit of it.
We got into my new Navigator courtesy of O’Shea. I told him I loved big trucks and always wanted one. The next day I came here and he had it sitting in front of the house. The black paint and everything else was shining—she was beautiful.
I dropped Shia off then headed to the studio. I walked past security, they knew who I was! I got to the recording room and a big cloud of smoke hit me in the face. This as how they got locked up last time. These niggas just don’t give a fuck.
There were two bitches in there half naked, one was sucking Stacks’ dick with no shame. O’Shea was sitting down clowning like that shit wasn’t happening. Is this really how rappers got down? I heard the stories but I didn’t think they were true.
“What the fuck y’all doing?” I asked. The stripper-like broad never even budged. She was still sucking on Stacks’ dick. I didn’t mean to stare but Stacks was definitely packing!
“What the fuck you doing here, Britain? Is it an emergency?” O’Shea asked, getting up.
“Damn, nigga! Baby mamas are not allowed!” said Rich.
“Mind your fucking business!” I told him. I didn’t like any of the guys under this label. They were very talented but the way they acted in public and disgraced women was sickening.
“Yo, you going to check her?” Rich asked O’Shea. O’Shea looked at him like that was a dumb question.
The girl that was sucking Stacks’ dick started gagging and he grunted, nutting in her mouth. I felt the urge to throw–up. I wondered if O’Shea be doing this type of shit. If he didn’t, how could he be so comfortable around it?
“O’Shea, I need to talk to your black ass now, nigga!” I said and everyone looked at me.
“Ohhhh, nigga, you in trouble!” Quan said laughing and when I looked at him, he stopped.
As we were leaving out, you could hear them talking about how that couldn’t have been them because they would’ve slapped my ass.
“Damn, Britain! Fuck you embarrassing me for? What’s going on that you couldn’t just call?” he asked pissed off.
“So, this what your life is like?” I asked him.
“What cha you mean by that?” he asked crossing his arms, grilling me.
“You just sitting there while that bitch practically eats Stacks’ dick! The other one is dancing with a little bit of clothes on! What the fuck is up with that? Why the fuck is Jordan visiting your mama?” I fussed.
“What those niggas do is their business! Yes, it’s been times where I would get one of them to suck me off! I have even fucked a few of them! They are not shit but groupies. I’m not on that shit no more! I know we rushed shit between us, and sometimes you may not agree with certain shit. But this is what I’m around! You got to just trust me, that’s all. Rissa crazy ass told Jordan about my mother. I showed up earlier and she just in her room chilling on some psycho shit!” he said and I rolled my eyes.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked making me laugh.
“No, but we can go home and kiss!” I told him.
“We fucking?” he asked then bit his bottom lip, grabbing his dick. O’Shea is too damn nasty!
“I might shake a little something for you!” He grabbed my ass then smacked it. He pressed his dick into my center and kissed me.
He grabbed me between my legs, “You stay ready don’t you?” he asked and I pushed him.
“Where is baby girl?” he asked.
“At my mama’s house! I dropped her off because I thought I was digging into someone’s shit!” I said.
“Yo, you hood as fuck!” he laughed.
“We crashing at my apartment! Your house is a little too far from here,” I told him.
“What apartment? And I thought it was our house!” he said.
“The apartment I still have! It’s not OUR house! We didn’t buy it together,” I told him.
“Why are you so complicated? I hope you don’t be sneaking niggas over there!” he said getting mad.
“Meet me at my apartment! You know where it’s at! I’m only giving you an hour!” I told him walking off.
“Whatever, Britain!” he said.
“You know bitches talking about your dick all over the internet? They really love you now after the way you was fucking that poor girl like that! I still want to smack you so bad for that!” I said getting angry all over again.
O’Shea could’ve been a pornstar! The way he was fucking Jordan even had me horny and mad all at the same time! It was like he was made to please women. No wonder Jordan’s ass went nuts.
“Man, chill out! I don’t want to hear about that shit! I see you later! Be naked too when I walk through the door,” he said and I waved him off.
I walked to my truck and my windows were busted out and my tires were flat. I knew it wasn’t anybody but Jordan but I got an ass whipping for her ass! You would not catch me filing a restraining order. All she needed was an old-school ass whipping! Timbs laced up, scarf tied tight around my head with Vaseline on. Mrs. Superstar wasn’t going to know what hit her.
