Then she flipped the camera around. Pink and white Velcro shoes. The door handle. A car next to us on the highway.
I was smiling so wide my face hurt. I loved seeing the world through Ava’s eyes.
The last picture made my heart skip a beat. It was a perfect shot of Ellie and me in the front seat. Our heads were turned toward each other, and genuine smiles lit up our profiles as we locked eyes for that second in time. Between us, our hands were clasped together over the middle console.
Maybe giving her space wasn’t the best thing to do. As much as Ellie claimed to be annoyed by how pushy I was, sometimes I thought it was one of the things she loved the most.
Blowing out a sigh, I set my background to one of Ava’s silly selfies.
Then, I tried to formulate a new plan.
Just as I stuck four candles on the rectangular vanilla-frosted cake, the doorbell rang, causing the tune of ‘Happy Birthday’ to ring through the house. Ava ran past me but stopped short when she reached for the doorknob.
“Can I open it?” she asked excitedly.
“Go ahead,” I told her. It was her party, after all.
Chloe was on the other side, a big purple bag in one hand and a bouquet of balloons in the other. “Hey, birthday girl!”
“Um, actually, I’m not a birthday girl. I’m a Band-aid girl.” Ava laughed maniacally and held up her thumb. “Yeah, because I’m wearing a Band-aid! See?”
“What kind is that?” Chloe humored her by inspecting the bandage. “Is that Belle? She’s my favorite princess.”
“You wanna come see my toys?” Ava jumped up and down before grabbing Chloe’s hand and dragging her toward the stairs.
Chloe gave me a quick hug before being pulled away.
“I guess I’m going to Ava’s room now.” She laughed.
“Okay. Don’t stay up there too long, Bug. You don’t want to miss cake and presents.”
“Okaaaay,” Ava sang, then started chattering to Chloe about Barbies.
Before I could close the door, I saw a familiar blue truck pull up onto the street in front of the house.
Crap.
My heart started to pound because I hadn’t expected to see Colton today. Immediately, I straightened my ponytail and started to smooth some messy strands away from my face.
I walked across the lawn, meeting him at the curb. He held a Spider-Man bag with pink tissue paper coming out the top.
As I took in the sight of Colton, I tried to rein in my out-of-control libido. How was it possible for someone to look so good in worn jeans and a simple gray button-up?
“What are you doing here?” I asked, breathless from surprise.
“I’m here for the party,” he said curtly. He lifted the present up and I couldn’t read his expression. I wasn’t used to him being closed off from me and I didn’t like it.
“I just thought since…” I trailed off, and he finished the sentence for me.
“You thought since we were taking a ‘break’ I wouldn’t come,” he said, putting air quotes around the word break.
I shrugged. “Well, yeah.”
“No offense, but I’m not here for you. I promised Ava I’d come to her party. You might not trust me to follow through, but she does.”
Ouch. Double ouch. I guess I deserved that.
Taking out his wallet, Colton pulled out a small yellow piece of paper and unfolded it. Something squeezed inside my chest when I saw that he’d kept the little drawing Ava made him.
“You can’t kick me out. I have a personal invite from the birthday girl herself.” He held out the picture, then slipped it back into his wallet.
He started walking toward the house and the distance both literally and figuratively was killing me. “Colton.”
When he turned back, the look in his eyes almost broke me. He looked so defeated. The Colton I knew didn’t accept defeat, and I hated myself for being the one to put that look on his face.
“I promise to stay out of your way,” he said softly and disappeared into the house, leaving me on the front lawn trying desperately to get my emotions together.
I needed to suck it up. This was Ava’s special day and I refused to let my love-life drama ruin it.
Today wasn’t going as planned. I didn’t know what I’d been expecting, but it wasn’t the cold greeting Ellie gave me. Part of me had hoped she would take one look at me and throw herself into my arms.
Not even close.
She’d been surprised that I even showed up. Ellie wasn’t kidding about having trust issues. The fact that she thought I wouldn’t come to Ava’s birthday party? That stung.
But I wasn’t going to let that deter me. I told Ellie I wanted all of her, and I meant it.
At least Ava was having a great time. The party was in full swing and I could hear her giggles floating through the air in the backyard. The weather was unseasonably warm at almost seventy degrees, so Dave decided to grill out. Half of the people in attendance were outside on the deck.
Angel’s friend, Ernie, was there wowing the guests with his balloon animal skills. Everyone clapped as he twisted two blue balloons together and made an elephant. I didn’t know the old man well, but I was glad he was willing to come to the party today.
As he smiled down at a cheering Ava, the wrinkles in his weathered face deepened. Removing his ball cap, he took a bow. Obviously, he was having just as much fun as everyone else.
I felt a little out of place sitting off to the side in a lawn chair—not because I didn’t know anyone, but because I felt like the outsider.
If Ellie and I weren’t together anymore, what did that make me? The creepy guy who wouldn’t quit coming around?
A throat cleared next to me and glanced up to see Ellie’s friend, Chloe. Memories of Travis’s birthday at Caged were fuzzy, but I still recognized her.
“Chloe. Good to see you again,” I told her, leaning back in the chair.
“So you remember me, huh?” She smirked.
“Hey, I wasn’t that drunk the night I met you,” I claimed, and she raised a skeptical eyebrow. I huffed out a laugh. “Okay. Maybe I was that drunk. Even if I hadn’t met you before, I’d still know who you are. Ellie talks about you all the time.”
“Ellie,” she said, a small smile on her lips. “You know you’re the only one who calls her that?”
I nodded. “Called her that since we were kids.”
“I’ll be honest with you right now. That night… I’ve never seen her so happy. I’m gonna give you some advice,” she said quietly as she adjusted the sunglasses on her face. She moved over to a nearby tree, putting her back to me and fiddling with the branches.
I found it highly amusing that she was trying to act all covert about our conversation.
I cracked a smile. “I’m all ears. I could definitely use some advice right now.”
Sighing, she glanced at me over her shoulder. “Bree’s had a rough time when it comes to dating. I guess I probably don’t need to tell you that.” She turned back to the tree but I could still hear her. “Just don’t give up on my girl, okay?”
“Okay,” I agreed, even though I felt like I was running out of options.
“And if you tell her I said this, and I will hunt you down,” she warned, her voice low. “but I’m on your side. Hashtag team Colton.” She gave a little fist pump and I chuckled.
“Thanks,” I told her. “I appreciate that.”
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go talk some sense into my friend.”
I watched Chloe go back up to the house, then I gazed at the windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of Ellie—I knew the second-story window closest to me belonged to her bedroom. Shaking my head, I mentally scolded myself for being such a creep. I was one step away from being a Peeping Tom.
That self-deprecating thought vanished as I caught a flash of a pink tutu and wild brown hair.
Ava came barreling toward me, fairy wand in one hand and a red balloon animal in the other. Opening my arms wide,
I caught her as she jumped into my lap.
“You having a fun party?” I asked, even though I knew the answer was yes.
“Of course!” she said, then pointed to her face. “See my stitches? See??”
Inspecting the black threads under her lip, I made a sound like I was impressed. “They did a great job and I heard you were really brave.”
She nodded, then looked at me for long seconds. Her eyes roamed my face as she twisted her mouth to the side, and I started to feel a little uncomfortable. It kind of felt like she was peering into my soul, like she was able to see something I was desperately trying to hide.
Finally, after she seemed done with her assessment, she spoke. “Are you frustrated?”
I shook my head a little. “No, not frustrated.”
“Are you sad?”
Damn. Maybe she really could see into my soul. I didn’t want to lie to her, so I just decided to be honest.
“Yeah. I guess I am,” I replied.
Ava picked up my hand, placed a kiss on my palm, then looked up at me with teary eyes and a shaky smile. “There. I gave you a kiss. Now you can be so happy?”
Well, shit.
Although Ellie had warned me about Ava’s sensitivity to other people’s feelings, this was the first time I’d seen her react that way on my behalf.
If my heart hadn’t been broken before, it definitely was now.
But instead of admitting that, I smiled and lied through my teeth. “Yep. Now I can be so happy.”
As she snuggled deeper into my arms, I realized Dave was finished grilling and everyone had gone inside to eat. I didn’t want my time with Ava to end yet, so I made no move to get up.
I had no idea what would happen after today.
As much as I wanted her to be, Ava wasn’t mine. When would I get to see her again? If Ellie didn’t want me in their lives anymore, there wasn’t anything I could do about it.
The thought of losing not one, but two people I loved gave me a tight, unfamiliar feeling in my throat. I swallowed hard.
Then I felt Ava’s little hand come up by the side of my face. When her fingers closed around my earlobe, I sucked in a breath and tried not to move.
It was the butterfly moment all over again.
She only did the ear thing to special people—people she loved and had a bond with. The fact that she was doing this with me? I never thought I could feel so happy and so devastated at the same time.
As her thumb slowly rubbed back and forth, my heart cracked open and I did something I hadn’t done since my mother died—I cried.
A lone tear glided down my right cheek as I blinked quickly, trying to get my eyes to dry up before anyone could witness it.
Oblivious to my emotional meltdown, Ava sighed wistfully. “I yuv you sixty-seven pounds.”
The first tear that fell was quickly followed by another, and I discreetly wiped them away and cleared my throat. “I love you, too, Bug.”
Gazing out at the backyard, we sat that way for several minutes while I regained my composure. I knew it was time for me to leave. This was a happy occasion and I didn’t want to bring anyone down.
Squeezing Ava one more time, I put her back on the ground as I stood up. I bent down to plant a kiss on the top of her strawberry-scented head.
“I bet there’s cake inside. You’d better get in there before it’s all gone,” I told her, doing my best to sound upbeat.
She gasped dramatically and ran up to the house, motivated by the threat that everyone might eat all the cake without her. I watched her disappear into the house.
Reaching into the pocket of my jeans, I palmed the keys to my truck. I had no reason to go back inside. No reason to stay. I’d already left Ava’s gift—a My Little Pony house—amongst the other presents on the dining room table. I would’ve liked to watch her open it, but it was better this way.
For the second time in a week, I forced myself to walk away from the girls who owned my heart.
My dad came through the sliding glass door with a giant platter of hotdogs and hamburgers.
“Lunch is ready,” he announced, putting the food down on the kitchen island between the potato salad and baked beans.
Setting up the spread buffet-style, I placed a stack of paper plates and plastic silverware at the end next to the buns.
Everyone started crowding around the food, and Aunt Tess literally started smacking her lips as she eyed the potato salad, so I moved out of the way. No one got between Aunt Tess and her potato salad.
I found my mom standing by the window in the dining room, watching something through the glass.
“What’s going on?” I asked, joining her.
“That boy,” she started, pointing out at Colton who had Ava on his lap. “He’s a keeper.”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat. She knew our relationship wasn’t on solid ground right now, but I hadn’t clued her in on the details.
“I know,” I whispered.
Because she was right. He was the keeper. I just wasn’t so sure about myself.
As if she read my mind she turned to me, her expression soft. “And so are you.” Leaving my side, she patted me on the shoulder. “Aunt Tess is liable to eat up all the potato salad,” she muttered quietly, causing me to smile. “Don’t take too long to get in line.”
Nodding, I went back to watching Colton and Ava. Just then, her hand came up to the side of his head and her fingers started rubbing at his ear.
Gasping, my hands flew up to my face and my heart jumped in my chest. I’d never seen her do that to anyone but my dad and me.
I knew that meant she loved Colton. That she felt safe with him. He was right—Ava did trust him to follow through.
So why couldn’t I?
Like always, Monday morning was slow at the shop. Usually, working on cars made me feel calm and content.
But that wasn’t how I felt right now.
Around noon, my dad told me he was closing up early and I could take off once I got my tools cleaned up. Maybe he could tell I was having a hard time. I hadn’t told him much about what was going on with Ellie—just that we were taking some time apart. The sympathetic look in his eyes told me I wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding my feelings.
After I got off work I walked home, looking forward to popping open a beer and wallowing in self-pity once again. I had come full-circle from the day before my birthday.
Frustrated. Defeated. Discouraged. I hated having a problem with no solution in sight.
Unfortunately, when I opened the fridge, there was no beer to be found.
Closing the door, I stood up and found myself face to face with Ava’s cardboard drawing. I had it taped to the front of the freezer door, proud to display my gift.
Sadness weighed down on me as I looked at the stick figures she’d drawn with red and black crayon. Ava barely knew me at the time, but she’d included me in her picture.
Suddenly, I felt like I couldn’t be here. I couldn’t sit around feeling sorry for myself in my apartment.
So I did something I’d never done before—I walked across the street to the tavern for a drink. Alone.
Since it was just past 1:00 in the afternoon, the place was pretty empty. I chose a seat in front of the bar and ordered a Coors Light. A throat cleared next to me and I saw Champ sitting two stools away, peering down at the glass of brown liquor in his hand.
“Hey, Champ.”
“Hey, Colton,” he replied without looking up. A minute of silence stretched between us before he spoke again. “Love troubles?”
I let out a snort. “Actually, yeah. How’d you guess?”
He smiled a little. “Young men, such as yourself, don’t come here alone during the day unless there’s trouble in paradise.”
No one really knew Champ’s story, and I wondered if he was speaking from personal experience. He’d been labeled the town drunk for years. Everyone loved him but no one took him seriously.
“It’s complicated,” I
said, cringing at how lame that sounded.
“It always is.” He swirled the glass in his hand before finishing it off.
The bartender must have known the routine well because he quickly replaced his empty glass with a full one. Champ nodded his thanks before turning slightly in his seat to face me.
“Did I ever tell you about Larry?”
I smirked because I’d heard the name so many times, but I had no idea who he was. “Not directly, no.”
“He was the love of my life,” he stated, and my eyes widened in shock.
There was nothing wrong with being gay, but I was surprised he was coming right out and telling me that. Small-town people didn’t always have open minds.
“It’s a modern world,” he said defensively, as if he knew my thought process. “And I’m too old to give a fuck what people think anymore.”
I held my hands up.
“No judgement here,” I told him honestly.
He seemed to believe me and nodded his head before continuing. “We fought like cats and dogs, but he was my person. Thirty years ago, things weren’t so easy. Hiding our relationship was difficult. Things got tough and, instead of fighting through it, we gave up.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, understanding how hard it must have been for him.
He shrugged and tipped back his head, emptying the glass again. “I always thought we’d find a way back to each other, but he moved away. Then about a year after that, he went missing. Just poof.”
He made a wild hand gesture in the air and he almost fell off the barstool before catching himself. His slurred words came out nonchalant, like it didn’t matter. But, of course, I knew better.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized again, not knowing what else to say.
“He ended up on one of those shows…” He trailed off like he was having trouble finishing his thought. I had no idea how much he’d had to drink but his inability to pronounce words correctly suggested it was a lot. Snapping his fingers, he turned to me. “Unsolved missing persons. I think it was something like that.” Staring down at his empty glass, he started sliding it from one palm to the other, like he needed something to do with his hands. “I like to think he’s living it up on a beach somewhere, sipping on a Piña colada with his toes in the sand. But sometimes… Sometimes I let myself believe he might come back to me someday.”
The Good Guys Box Set: TRUCKER, DANCER, DROPOUT, and A Trucker Wedding Page 44
