“Why are you smiling like that?” he asks.
“I’m not.” I try and keep a straight face. And fail. “Sorry. I was trying to do what you do.”
“Which is what?”
“Deny everything,” I say. “You deny, deny, deny, even when the truth is staring you blatantly in the face.”
His mouth twists and he shakes his head. “Not really.”
I poke his shoulder. “You’re doing it now.”
“Denying a false accusation is different from denying self-evident truths, Serena.”
“Whatever you say, counselor.”
He cracks a half-smile, and it almost makes up for the rest of this horrid day. “Why do you call me counselor, anyway?”
“Because it’s cheesy and dramatic and you need to take yourself a little less seriously.” I rise, feeling a hint of warm sleepiness rain down upon me, but Derek’s fingers wrap around my wrist, and he pulls me into his lap. “Hello.”
My legs straddle him, and I make myself comfortable. I could ask him what he’s doing. I could pretend to resist. But there’s no point in fighting a losing battle. We both know how this is going to go, intentions be damned.
“I’m not ready for you to go yet.” His voice is low, throaty, and our eyes are locked.
“I was just going to bed . . .”
“Yeah.” His hands slide up my thighs, slow and intentional, and he cups my ass as he hoists me up. “But you were headed the wrong way.”
My arms rest on his shoulders, and he carries me to his room, depositing me on the edge of his king-sized bed. His hands work his belt and his gaze drinks me in. He crawls over top of me, and I breathe in the scent of cologne and expensive beer.
His arms cage me in, and I feel safe. Sectioned off. Protected.
When his body lies on mine, I absorb the weight of him, my hands greedily tugging the hem of his shirt until it’s over his head. His delicious, dark hair is mussed, and I run my fingers through it as his lips come down upon my lips.
Derek’s hands slip between my belly and his, working at the band of my leggings and tugging them down my thighs as he lifts himself over me. On his knees, he runs a finger under the waistband of my lace panties, snapping them against my skin before working them down my hips.
He slides everything down my legs, tossing them aside and coming back for more. My hands work his jeans, brushing against the outline of the hardness trapped behind silk boxers. He springs to life when I finally free him, and I press my hands against his chest, silently urging him to lie on his back.
Straddling his thighs, I lean down and take his hardness in my grip, bringing the tip of his cock to my lips and gifting him with feathery strokes, my tongue glazing his length.
His hands are in my hair, pulling, tugging, guiding as I find a rhythm that seems to suit him best. I pause for a moment, pumping him in my hands, and glance into his hypnotic dark gaze.
My heart skips a beat in the cheesiest of ways, and I try to focus on the fire burning in my core instead.
This is physical. Not emotional.
My mouth returns to his throbbing girth, but he slips his hand under my arm and pulls me over top of him. I straddle him, my aching pussy grazing his cock, tortuously skin to skin. He’s focused completely on me, his hands cupping my breasts and moving to my ass before teasingly dragging down my thighs.
I’m not sure how we went from barely speaking, to discussing photography, to winding up naked in his bed, but I suppose the answer is irrelevant.
Here we are.
We’re doing this.
Nothing in the world could stop us tonight.
His left hand lifts to my chin, cupping my jaw. His thumb traces my lower lip, and he brings my mouth to his.
“Left nightstand. Top drawer,” he whispers.
I lean over him, tugging the drawer and expecting to find a stash of condoms. Instead, I find toys. Adult toys. Galore.
“Oh.” I pause. It’s dark, but these things are staring back at me plain as day.
“There should be a box . . .” he says. “It’s purple . . .”
“I’m looking for condoms, right?”
“Yes.”
I finally spot the purple box and tear a packet from the strip. “Here.”
He rips the foil between his teeth, and I move aside as he sheaths himself. I counted no fewer than two pairs of handcuffs. A tangled mess of leather. Several blindfolds. Otherworldly-looking dildos, and a few neon vibrators for good measure.
“Do—do you use those?” I ask as he pulls me back into his lap.
His lips pull up at the side, his perfect teeth lighting up the dark. “Serena.”
Derek’s hands grip my hips, and he guides me onto him. I slide down the length of his shaft, exhaling as he fills me.
With his hand at the base of my neck, he pulls my mouth to his, depositing a single kiss. “I don’t use those with you because I don’t need to. You’re enough. You’re all I need.”
I let a curtain of hair hide my relieved smile as my hips rock back and forth against his thick cock.
No one’s ever told me I was enough.
No one’s ever made me feel like I was enough.
I rise and bounce, creating friction and heat, losing myself in the darkness of his room and the security of his arms and the temporary sanctuary I never thought I’d find in the small town of Rixton Falls.
His greedy mouth is only rivaled by greedier hands, and he owns every inch of me as I focus on the sensation of his hard flesh entering and flooding me over and over again. He takes a swollen breast, lifting the nipple to his mouth and flicking it with his tongue before his teeth rake across the sensitive nub.
We don’t need piddly conversation when our bodies can do all the talking.
My hips grind, slowly, provocatively. I want this to last. I want this to go on forever. But my body is making a frenzied race to the finish line.
I press my lips into the hot flesh of his smooth chest, tasting him. Devouring him. Wanting to forever remember everything about this moment, because somewhere inside, I’m convinced this is going to be the last time.
We’re too different.
We’re headed on two completely different paths.
Living on two completely different planets.
And one of these days, if we’re not careful, we’re going to collide.
He says he’s not the settling type. But I don’t believe him.
He can deny, deny, deny.
But I know.
He’s falling for me.
And this isn’t going to end well.
Chapter 25
Derek
“I spoke to an old friend earlier this week.” Serena lies in my arms, my fingertips tracing light circles against her soft shoulder, which goes against everything I stand for.
I don’t cuddle. I’m not sweet. I don’t cherish the still, small moments or crave the feel of a post-coital woman in my arms.
If she were anyone else, I’d be watching her dress, tossing her a compliment or two for good measure, and biding my time until she slips her shoes on and makes a beeline for the door.
My cock is still hard, still wet from her arousal. The scent of sex and lost inhibitions fills my lungs, and her taste lingers on my tongue.
“Oh, yeah?” My head settles against a pillow.
“I’m going back to the city Saturday morning.”
My gaze snaps to her.
“Just for the weekend. I’ll be back Sunday.” She clears her throat, pressing her hand against my chest and resting her cheek there. “It’s just something I need to do.”
I don’t think it’s a good idea, but it’s not my place. She’s her own person. She can do what she wants.
“My friends, they miss me,” she says. “They want me to come home. And I miss home too. But the whole time I was on the phone earlier, all I could think about was how I was going to miss this little place.” She laughs. “Which is ridiculous, because I’ve only been here su
ch a short amount of time.” Her voice falls to a soft whisper. “And then I wondered if it would be you that I’d miss.”
She sits up, tucking a strand of fiery hair behind her ear. Our eyes find one another in the dark.
“And then I realized that would be ridiculous, because I’ve only known you a week.” She releases a breathy, nervous laugh, and her eyes move to her hands, which are damn near knitting a sweater at this point. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I guess my point is, I have no idea what I want. And I know you asked me to stay in Rixton Falls a while longer. With you.”
She looks up at me, and the world around us stops.
“I have no idea why you’d want me to stay,” she says. “I find it hilarious, because you’ve spent all this time telling me to stay away, that you’re incapable of being anything I need . . . it’s really the other way around.”
“What are you talking about?” I break my silence. Her thoughts are like dandelion seeds scattered in the wind, going every which direction.
“You’re Family Ties and I’m Sex and the City. Our worlds are never going to mesh, no matter how hot the sex is.” Her hair falls over her shoulders, framing her beautiful face. “And we can pretend whatever this is is all about the sex, but we both know better. This is a slippery slope, Derek.”
“You wanted this,” I remind her. “Remember?”
Serena pulls away, sliding closer to the edge of the bed, and this moment fades before my very eyes.
“I wanted what you were offering.” Her head tilts. “You shouldn’t have asked me to stay, Derek. That wasn’t part of the deal. That . . . changed things.”
“Explain.”
“I only wanted to have fun with you. I didn’t want this to turn into a whole thing—”
“You’re reading too much into it.” I groan.
“Am I?”
We sit in silence. I can’t answer her question. I don’t have an answer. All I know is for the last two years, every woman I’ve met has been the same. Carbon copy drama queens. Vanilla. Basic. Desperate to please. Desperate to be loved. And for the first time in a long time, I met a woman who stirred something in the deepest part of me.
A woman who made me question my convictions.
A woman who made me smash every rule I’d ever laid out.
Serena climbs off the bed, never once taking her eyes off me. “I’ll be back Sunday night. I think we could use a couple of days apart anyway. This is just . . . moving too fast. Becoming something it was never supposed to be.”
And just like that, she’s gone.
I go to work early Friday and head straight to pick up Haven Friday night. Saturday morning, I wake up extra early and take my daughter out for breakfast so I don’t have to watch Serena leave.
Chapter 26
Serena
Saturday morning, I’m greeted with joyful shrieks and a bouncing Poppy diving at me. She wraps her lanky arms around my shoulders and squeezes tight.
“I take it you missed me.” I laugh, nearly choking on her gardenia perfume yet basking in its familiarity.
“I can’t believe you’re here.” She pulls away, grinning ear to ear. And then she pouts. “Never stay away that long again. It’s not right. The city hasn’t been the same without you. My weekends haven’t been the same without you.”
“I find that hard to believe. You’ve always done a fine job of painting the town all by yourself.”
“Still. I missed you.” She hooks her arm through mine and leads me into her apartment. “Come. Sit. Let’s catch up.”
Poppy looks good. Same shiny, bouncy hair in a perfect shade of Gwyneth Paltrow blonde. Same Pilates body. Same blindingly white smile.
I follow her into the white-washed living room and sink into her linen-covered Chesterfield sofa. She takes the chair across from me, studying me with a furrowed brow and a frown.
“What?” I ask.
“You look like you’ve come undone.” She says it in a delicate way, but it doesn’t lessen the blow.
“I’ve had other priorities, P.”
“Still. When was the last time you had a haircut? And your nails. Those cuticles.” She wrinkles her nose. With love. This is how she is.
The first time I met Poppy was in the shoe section at Bergdorf. We both wanted the last size seven Gucci riding boots. It wasn’t pretty at first, but somehow, we walked out of there as friends with a joint custody agreement scribbled on the back of a receipt as we made plans to do lunch.
“Anyway.” Poppy bats her hand. “I’m treating you to a day of pampering. Hair. Nails. Facial. Massage. Shopping. Dinner and drinks. You’re going to be in heaven, my love.”
“You’re the best, P. I needed this girls’ weekend so badly. You have no idea.” I draw my legs up and make myself comfortable. Her apartment has the best views, and I’ve crashed here many, many times before. It was like a second home to me for a while. Still feels that way.
Although now, it’s much quieter with Paige having moved out.
She checks the dainty Rolex on her left wrist and waves for me to get up. “Okay, we need to get going. Our first appointment is in forty minutes.”
We gather our things and head toward the elevator, riding down to the lobby.
“Something’s different about you.” She studies me as we float to the main floor. The doors ding and part, and she watches me from the corner of her eye as we stride toward the revolving door. Her driver is parked outside the big green awning.
“Everything’s different about me.”
Her lips twist. “No. You have this glow about you.”
“Really? Because a few minutes ago, you were going on and on about how horrible I looked.”
Her driver opens the passenger door and we climb in, sliding along the black leather of her Town Car’s back seat.
“It’s not that.” She studies me harder. “It’s like you’re lit from within. You have an inner glow. The kind you can’t get from highlighting and contouring.”
I exhale, chuckling. “Okay.”
“You’re getting laid.” She smacks her lanky thigh. “That’s it. Who are you fucking, Serena?”
I rub my lips together, repressing a Cheshire grin. “Don’t be ridiculous. Who would I be hooking up with right now?”
“Excellent question,” Poppy says. “Care to answer it?”
“Nope.”
She pinches the back of my arm like a five-year-old, and I jerk it away.
“Who are you fucking?” She won’t drop it. She’s a damn dog with a meaty bone. Poppy cups her chin a la Sherlock Holmes. “Wait. You’re living with your attorney right now . . .”
I face the window so she can’t read my expression.
“Oh, my God. You’re fucking your attorney.” Poppy does a little jump, like she just solved the world’s most interesting puzzle. “Is he hot?”
I don’t answer.
“Look at me.” She grabs my shoulder, shaking me. “You can’t ignore me forever. Tell me. What is he like? What does he look like? Is he good in bed? How did this happen?”
Knowing Poppy, and knowing full well that she won’t give in until she gets what she wants, I pull in a deep breath and turn to her.
I tell her everything.
And it feels good to get it out there.
It feels good to talk about him—to talk about some of the best days in my recent past.
And I smile the whole time—whatever that means.
Tonight, I’m a new woman—on the outside. New hair. New clothes. New makeup. Fresh polish.
Poppy, dramatic as she is, took a before and after photo earlier. I hadn’t realized how far gone I was until I saw the side-by-side. But in my defense, being holed up at Belcourt doesn’t necessitate the daily glam treatment.
“How are you feeling, love?” Poppy reaches over, rubbing my arm. “You look ah-mazing.”
I smile, glancing around the packed Bar Gray. Everyone is dressed to the nines. Everyone is dying to be here. Tonig
ht. Like there’s nowhere else more important to spend a Saturday night. Everyone is here to see and be seen.
My body is wrapped in a navy bandage dress, and leather fuck-me heels in a shade of nude cover my smoothed and polished feet.
“That dress looks fantastic on you. Have you lost weight?” Poppy asks.
My gaze flicks to hers, and for the first time in forever, I realize how much I don’t want to have this conversation. There are more important things to talk about than weight and clothes and looks.
Was I really that vapid before?
I cross my legs and angle my body toward Poppy as we order drinks at Bar Gray.
“Let’s talk about something else,” I say.
A man-bun sporting bartender with a baby face stops in front of us, knocking on the bar counter and asking what we’re drinking tonight.
Poppy orders two champagnes before I have a chance to protest.
“We’re celebrating tonight.” She places her clutch on the bar and grins.
“What are we celebrating?”
“Um, the fact that you’re here.” She makes a silly face, as if the reason were obvious. “And the fact that we’re going to get your life back on track.”
“Back on track?” I repeat. “I don’t know, P. I’m in a weird place. Trying to figure out what I want. Where I want to go. What I want to do. Asking myself the hard questions. And there’s so much I haven’t told you yet . . .”
The bartender returns with our drinks, and we lift our glasses.
“To Serena getting her life back,” Poppy toasts. She ignores my words and clinks her flute against mine. Taking a swig, her eyes dart over my shoulder. “Okay, don’t hate me. Don’t get mad . . .”
“Poppy.” My heart sinks, my voice low in my chest. “What. Did. You. Do?”
She slides off her barstool with finesse and disappears behind me into a sea of overdressed patrons, and when I see who takes her place, I want to vomit.
“Serena.” Keir sits beside me, pulling his barstool closer until his knee rests against my thigh.
I can’t breathe, and the room spins. When I turn to look for Poppy, it’s too late. She’s long gone. And I am beyond mad at her. I’m furious.
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