by Gemma James
“You’re so fucking wet. I bet you want to come so bad right now.”
My only answer was a whimper. I’d clamped my lips closed since he’d started his torture methods. Why add to his pleasure with verbal confirmation his punishment was working?
“You’re much too quiet.” He turned around and eased his cock between my lips, and his tongue went back to work between my thighs.
I whimpered again as he pushed deeper into my mouth. The taste of him speared through me, and I felt warmth flood under his lips and tongue. An unrestrained moan vibrated around his cock. I was so close.
“Too close, baby,” he said, ceasing his erotic kiss. “You’re not coming tonight.” He blew a cool breath over inflamed, heated flesh, making my insides clench. I squirmed in desperation. His hips bucked, and he deepened his possession of my mouth, hitting the back of my throat. My heart raced in fear.
Don’t gag, don’t gag, I told myself.
He came with a hoarse cry, and I was so hot with need I would have begged without shame, but I was too busy swallowing. He pulled from my mouth and knelt between my legs again, where he rubbed me to insanity.
I squeezed my eyes shut as involuntary sounds rumbled from my lips. “Please let me come,” I said sometime later, for the fifth…no, sixth or seventh time. My hips rocked constantly, though I couldn't seem to bring myself closer to the hand causing so much pleasure and frustration simultaneously. “Please. I can’t take it. Fuck me anally if you want…please…”
“No.”
Why was I being punished again?
I must have asked the question out loud, because he answered, “You tried leaving without permission.”
I drew in a shuddering breath as more pressure built. “You'll let me out of the house with permission?”
“Eventually, yes, when I can trust you not to bolt.” His lips curved into a smile. “After tonight, the way you stayed, even admitted you loved me so you could stay, I think we're reaching that point.”
Conversation distracted me from the ache he refused to relieve, so I kept talking. “If I asked to go to the mall for lunch or a coffee, you'd let me?”
“It would depend.” He leaned down and added his tongue for a few strokes.
“God! Gage…” Focus. “Depend on what?”
He looked up from between my thighs, a sheen of my desire on his lips. “On whether you'd earn that privilege. I told you there’d be rules that govern your behavior, and I meant it. You'll be allowed friends—female friends—but only if I approve of them first.”
“You're planning to control every aspect of my life?” Was he serious?
“Yes,” he said simply. “I control your orgasms”—he pressed hard on my clit, making me shake—“your schedule, your relationships with others.” He paused, growing even more serious. “I’m a jealous man, Kayla. That hasn't changed. You'll never be allowed to talk to other men in a casual or social setting. Your words are for me only, your ideas and dreams are mine. This body is mine.”
“Am I supposed to ignore every man on the planet? Even to the point of rudeness?”
“No. You speak to other men only when necessary, and you excuse yourself when it isn’t.” He gave me a stern look. “And it is never necessary for you to see or talk to my brother. I want him out of your life for good.”
I was pretty sure that wouldn't be a problem after our last encounter. Gage had allowed me to return Stacey’s frantic calls, and I’d discreetly checked my call log. Ian hadn’t tried to contact me once.
“This sounds like a lot,” he said, “but you'll adjust. I do want you to have friends and interests outside of me, but that doesn’t happen until they go by me first, understand?”
Oh, I understood all right, and his tone was pissing me off.
“What if I decide to leave? Will you let me?”
He crawled up my body until we were face to face, and his intoxicating breath mingled with mine. “You can leave, but you'll never be allowed back. Ever. Leave me, and it’ll be for good.”
He'd given me my freedom, so why wasn't I jumping for it?
Because you love him, you dumbass, and he knows it. He knows you're not going anywhere.
“The good news about these rules,” he continued, “is that Eve will follow them too when she's older. No boyfriends until she’s sixteen, and they'll have to pass our inspection, as will her friends. I'm sure you can agree with me on this point.”
He was right. I did agree, but I still didn’t appreciate being treated like a child.
“I’m an adult, Gage. These ‘rules’ of yours leave no foundation for trust. You don't trust me, and you never will. You take and take and take, but you give nothing in return.”
He was too quiet, and I wasn't sure if he was going to blow a fuse or ignore the issue entirely. “You're right,” he said.
That was the last thing I expected him to say. “I am?”
“I have a hard time trusting. I’m working on it.”
“Well…you’ve been working on compromising too, so why don’t we go back to that?”
“Such as?” he asked.
“I won't flirt with men. I have no interest to anyway since I'm so hung up on you.” I rolled my eyes. “God help me. I don't know why, but I am.” A huge grin spread across his face. “But you need to trust me,” I continued. “Just because I talk to some random guy at the coffee shop about the latest song or movie doesn't mean anything. It's called polite chatter, and people do it all the time.”
He shook his head. “No. You don't. You belong to me and only me. If you have something to say about music or movies, you come to me. You don't seem to get it, Kayla. I want every part of you, and your behavior will honor that. If this hypothetical coffee shop guy asks you what you think of the new Britney Spears song, you say, ‘thanks for the coffee, but I have to go,’ and you fucking walk away.” He gripped my chin so I had no choice but to look at him. “Do you understand me?”
“I understand,” I mumbled.
“You’re mine, and I won't compromise on this. If you want to leave the house, you ask for permission first. I'll expect a rundown on where you're going, who with, what you're doing, and when you'll be back—and you’d better be back in time or face punishment.”
It was all I could do not to sneer at him. “So basically I am a child then.”
He smirked. “Your tone right now suggests it, but no. You're simply mine, and you'll do as I say.”
He reached behind him and produced a gag. “Now enough of this. If you’re still able to form coherent sentences, then I haven’t been doing my job.” He glanced at the clock. “You have at least three more hours of writhing on this bed before I let you sleep.”
He pushed the gag into my mouth before continuing with his torture methods. My eyes rolled back after he started in with a vibrator. Guantanamo Bay had nothing on Gage Channing.
13. Crazy Normal
“Mommy, are you awake?”
The whisper awoke me. I rubbed sleep from my eyes and found my daughter standing next to the bed. The wafting smell of something delicious drifted into the bedroom, and I sat up, realizing that Gage had freed my hands. He’d worked me into a frenzied state last night, and no amount of my muffled begging had changed his mind. He’d punished me all right. I still ached, still wanted him badly, but he’d made sure my hands were tied out of reach for the rest of the night. The binding had been loose enough to sleep comfortably but had left me incapable of reaching the aching spot between my thighs.
“I’m not ‘spose to wake you up,” Eve said, breaking through my thoughts. “How come you didn’t sleep enough? Gage says you need sleep.”
I ruffled her hair. “What’s he doing?”
“Cooking French toast.” She furrowed her brows. “How does the toast get Frenched, Mommy?”
My mouth quirked as I peeked underneath the comforter to find my body nestled in one of his shirts. I must have been out cold if he’d dressed me without rousing me from sleep. “Come
here,” I said with a smile. “You silly girl.” I opened my arms so she could pounce into them.
“I like our new house,” she said as her arms tightened around me. “He’s nice.”
Her blind trust seared my heart. I glanced at the ring on my finger and gulped. Could I really go through with the wedding? He’d given us our freedom. I could leave anytime with Eve, and he said he wouldn’t stop me.
But could I walk away from him? Each day we spent together, each small change I saw in him, slowly erased what he’d put me through last year. Something about him was different. The sadism was still there, the need for power and control still an innate part of him, but I’d also witnessed slivers of compassion and humanity.
Which one was the real Gage Channing? The cold, out-of-control sadistic man who’d whipped me until welts covered my body? The man who’d fucked me in front of his own brother for revenge? Or the man who’d won over my daughter? The man who was trying to take into consideration my needs and wants.
The man who said he loved me.
I closed my eyes, and my lungs expanded as I breathed deep. I felt so much with him—too much—and I couldn’t imagine never feeling this way again.
“What’s the matter?” Eve asked, her palms holding my cheeks. “Are you sick?”
“No, I’m fine.” I flung the covers back. “Come on, let’s go check on breakfast.” We padded into the hall, and I was glad his shirt fell past my thighs since I wasn’t wearing any panties.
The sweet aroma of breakfast wreaked havoc with my senses and my stomach. God, it smelled good. My belly rumbled, and I couldn’t recall being so hungry in a long time.
“Good morning.” He smiled at Eve as she hopped to his side. “Why don’t you get to work on that picture you wanted to color for your mom? I got the art supplies down for you, princess.”
“Okay!” She didn’t walk—she ran down the hall toward her bedroom.
I narrowed my eyes. “You’re trusting a four-year-old with crayons, unsupervised?”
“You worry too much. Let her have fun. They’re washable anyway.” He gestured for me to join him. The instant I got within reach, he turned me so my back faced him and pushed me against the counter. The plate of French toast teased my nose, sitting only a few inches away, and my stomach rumbled again.
His hands slipped underneath my shirt—his shirt—and he palmed my breasts. “You look so fucking sexy in my shirt. If Eve weren’t in the other room, I’d fuck you right here on the counter.” He nudged my bottom with his hard-on. “I like you bare-assed. From now on, you’re not allowed to wear underwear. I want access at all times.”
I groaned.
“Last night, you begged. I’ve been very patient, Kayla, but no more. This ass is mine.”
Nearly breathless, I let my head fall back on his shoulder. “What you did last night was not fair.”
“It was more than fair. You’ll never escape punishment. Some will be easier to take than others, but I’ll always punish you when you disobey me.” He flicked my nipples, making me flinch.
“Does it hurt?” he asked, his voice husky at my ear.
“Mmm-hmm.” My nipples were incredibly sensitive, and my breasts seemed heavier than usual in his hands.
“Good. That means you’re still aroused.”
Footsteps sounded in the hall, and Gage stepped away from me. “You have an appointment after breakfast, by the way.”
“What?” I asked, freezing to the spot as Eve bounded to me, picture in hand. Numbly, I took the drawing and stared at the colors. A rainbow. A ray of hope in a grey sky. How symbolic. But rainbows were rare, and I’d yet to find a pot of gold at the end of one.
“What appointment?”
“The seamstress. She needs to measure you for your gown. She’ll have designs for you to go through too. Pick any one you want. Don’t worry about the cost.” He picked up the plate of French toast and moved toward the table as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb on me. Eve followed on his heels. She liked to shadow him whenever possible.
I’m not ready for this, I thought as the two of them moved around the table, arranging plates and flatware. Eve beamed as she helped. I stood in a daze, my pulse pounding in my ears, and he had to ask me twice to join them.
“Gage…” I swallowed hard and pushed the food around my plate. A few minutes ago I’d been starving; now the thought of food made me want to retch. Would he go ballistic if I said I didn’t want to rush this? My eyes fell on Eve, who remained unaware of the tension spiraling out of control in my stomach.
“What is it, Kayla?”
I glanced up and met his indigo eyes. They always deepened to that color when he was angry. Obviously, I was transparent to him. “Nothing.” I pushed my toast to one side of the plate, then flipped the pieces over to the other.
“Say what’s on your mind.” He measured his tone, no doubt because a four-year-old witnessed our conversation, but I didn’t miss the edge to his words.
“It’s happening so fast.”
“As it should. I know what I want, Kayla, and it’s going to happen.”
“What’s gonna happen?” Eve asked.
I sighed, and Gage shook his head. “You and your mom are going out today. Maybe she’ll take you for ice cream after lunch.”
Eve grinned. “Can we have the rainbow kind?”
“Sure, baby,” I said.
We finished breakfast in silence. Afterward, I retreated to the bathroom to shower. Gage checked on me several times to make sure I wasn’t finishing what he’d started the night before. He’d made the rules perfectly clear, just as they’d been a year ago.
No masturbating.
He sat on the bed as I dressed, and his gaze never strayed. “Your purse is in the closet by the door. I’ll have to unlock it for you. The keys to the Lexus are in there. I also gave you a credit card—use it for whatever you want. It’s yours.”
I dropped the ankle-length skirt I’d just pulled from the closet—the one he’d stocked with an unimaginable amount of clothing in my size four. It chilled me to realize the extent he’d gone to in order to get me here under his control.
“I’m not taking your money. I’m capable of making my own.”
“Bullshit. Eve needs you home more than you need to work. That’s a discussion that won’t happen until she’s in school full days.”
I took a deep breath to sooth the anger roiling through me. “Gage, I’m not taking—”
“My money is your money. You’re going to be my wife soon.”
I set my hands on my hips. “How soon?”
“Three weeks.”
My knees grew weak. “It’s…that’s too soon!”
“No, it’s not.”
How could he remain so calm? I was about to fall apart, and he just sat there, the perfect picture of relaxed. It was disturbing…and infuriating! I clenched my hands. “What if I say no?”
He rose from the bed. Eve’s voice blasted through the monitor, and I jumped before realizing she was only playing. Gage moved toward me, a predatory glint in his eyes.
“You won’t.”
“You seem sure of yourself.”
“I am.” He grasped my head in both hands, not quite forcefully but not gently either. “I’m one hundred percent certain you’ll meet me at the altar in three weeks, as I’m positive you’ll be back tonight in time for dinner.”
“How can you be so sure?” I whispered, my throat thickening because I sure as hell wasn’t sure.
His lips quirked into a satisfied smile. “You’re addicted to me. You were a year ago, and you’re more so now. I’ll never get the image of you last night out of my head. You were the definition of a wild animal, Kayla, reduced to your most basic desires and needs. You will always come back to me.”
His mouth lowered to mine, demanded I let him in, and I did. I always did. He kissed me until I was breathless, until I couldn’t remember what we’d been talking about, and I kissed him back just as greedily. I was lucky
I still remembered my own name.
His hands slid from my cheeks, and I watched, in a trance, as he disappeared into the hall.
14. Doubt
I had a major problem, thanks to Gage's new rule that I wasn't allowed to wear panties. I had to face the seamstress without any. She was gracious enough not to say anything, but it was just one more bit of humiliation at the hands of my future husband.
Husband.
That word stirred all kinds of feelings in me—all of them contradictory in nature. So I went through the motions, picked out a gorgeous dress that dipped low at the bust and sparkled with intricate artistry, and I smiled like a woman facing the best day of her life. The gown was designed to hug a woman’s curves before flowing to the floor in satin and lace. If I was going to walk down the aisle, at least Gage would drool like a dog as I put one foot in front of the other. I even pretended the price tag didn’t matter.
Though it did. Everything mattered, but what mattered to me didn’t matter to him. I drove his car, spent his money, and took Eve out for lunch and ice cream. I even bought her a new princess Barbie because that was her new obsession since he’d handed her everything she’d ever want on a silver platter.
Time didn’t understand my trepidation; it moved too swiftly and now the big day was only a week away. My stomach was in constant knots from the stress, and I could barely eat, despite Gage demanding I do so. Apparently, he liked my curves and expected me to eat enough so I wouldn’t turn into a skeleton of myself. He’d already taken his belt to me twice over the issue, and God, those lashes had left their mark.
But the thought of food sickened me. Marrying him…I didn’t know how to feel about it. I couldn’t bring myself to leave him, but I didn’t know if I could say “I do” either. Marriage was a big step—a bigger step than any conventional couple faced. Saying “I do” to Gage meant I would wait for him on my knees every night. I’d have no independence, no freedom. He would always hold my free will in his fist, and the difference between sleeping at his side or being locked in the basement lay in my ability to bend to his rules and demands.
