“What do rooms have to do with anything?” I asked.
“Curran intends for you to share his quarters.”
“Do I get turn-down service and a mint on my pillow?”
“You get to be the female alpha of the Pack,” Aunt B said.
I choked on empty air.
“Here, drink your tea, dear. Honestly, what did you think that meant?” she asked.
I drank my water. Somehow when Curran said “mate,” my mind didn’t translate it as “the Pack’s Beast Lady.”
“I’m not equipped to be an alpha.”
Aunt B smiled. “So you don’t want the power?”
“I don’t.” I didn’t want the responsibility either.
“What is it you do want?” she asked me.
“I want to kill the crazy bitch who is running around Atlanta murdering shapeshifters.”
“Besides that?”
“I want him.”
“Without the Pack?”
“Yes.” I had no idea why I kept answering her questions. There was something in her eyes that made me want to tell her everything I knew so she would pat me on the head and tell me, “Good girl,” at the end. Adolescence in the bouda clan would be hell with Aunt B around.
“You can’t have just him.” Aunt B’s eyes were merciless. “Curran belongs to the Pack and we won’t let you take him away from us. You need him to be happy, but we require him to survive. If he were to leave the Pack, the alphas would fight for power. No one among the alphas now could take his place and hold it. It would be chaos and blood. Eventually the strongest would win, but the strongest isn’t always the best person for the job.”
She leaned back. “We lucked out with Curran, and we all know that our chances of getting another Beast Lord like him are slim. I like you, but if you tried to lure him away, I’d be the first in line to kill you.”
Today was the wrong day to threaten me. “Think you can?”
“You have a lot of power, but we have the numbers, so yes, we can. I’m not telling you this to get your hackles up. You need to understand the situation clearly. Curran belongs to the Pack. Stand between him and his people and the Pack will tear you to pieces. Your meat is getting cold. Eat.”
She was right. I knew she was right. They wouldn’t let Curran go. And even if they did, he’d never leave them. He was a shapeshifter and they were his people. I had to find a way around it. “Why can’t I be with him, but not be the alpha?”
“You want to have your cake and eat it, too. It simply doesn’t work that way. You can’t marry the king and not become the queen. You’ll be the one he’ll growl sweet nothings to in bed, and you’ll be the one he’ll ask for advice. You’ll have unprecedented influence over his decisions, but you want none of the responsibility that comes with it. That’s cowardly and that’s not you. It’s all or nothing, Kate. That’s the deal and it’s not negotiable.”
“So I have no say in this?”
Aunt B frowned. “Of course you do. You don’t have to mate with him. You can always reject him. But if you do mate with him, the burden of the alpha comes with it. Ask yourself, would you really settle for a fling? Or do you want him to yourself for always?”
I made a valiant effort not to ask myself that question. I was pretty sure I knew the answer. That way lay total surrender of all common sense. “I’m not a shapeshifter.”
“True. Can you become one?”
I shook my head. “It’s not physically possible. I’m immune to Lyc-V.”
“Excellent.”
She lost me.
“Were you to become a shapeshifter, you’d have to pick the species of your beast. You’d have to choose a clan and someone to donate Lyc-V, which means six clans would feel slighted and that one clan would expect preferential treatment. It’s a can of worms nobody wants to open. This is one of those rare cases when being impartial is actually advantageous.”
“You’ve given this a great deal of thought,” I murmured. The sixty-four-thousand-dollar question was why.
“Look at it from our point of view. We want him to mate. As his mate, you have the right to question his decisions, something we can’t do. If Pack members have an issue with him, they could come to you and plead for assistance. If you issue an order, technically he can overrule you, but he would be reluctant to do so. The Pack has been denied this avenue of appeal for too long.”
She waved her pita around. “Curran is a fair alpha, one of the best. But he has his bad moments and right now nobody dares to contradict him during those. Sure, some people won’t accept you, but that’s normal. Anytime there is a power shift, people rumble. After you kill the first couple of challengers, you’ll be fine.”
She was definitely after something . . .
“Nobody questions your power, dear. The alphas have seen you fight and you’re a good asset. Anyone able to snap the legs off two hundred demons with one word isn’t to be taken lightly.”
She bit into her bread. “Besides, if Curran didn’t think you’re fit, he wouldn’t have made the offer. Yes, he’s obsessed with you, but he’s shrewd enough to take your ability into consideration. Alphas are typically attracted to other alphas. I wouldn’t mate with a weakling, and neither would he.”
“It’s not that simple,” I growled.
She laughed softly. “We know you have a history, dear. That much power doesn’t come without baggage and Curran isn’t an idiot. If he proposed to you, he must view your past as an acceptable risk.”
Had an answer for everything, did she? “Why do you care so much whether I become his mate? You didn’t come here out of the goodness of your heart.”
She paused. Her face turned mournful. “Raphael is my third child. The first two went loup at puberty. After him, I said I wouldn’t have any more. I couldn’t keep killing my babies. My boy is everything to me. I’d rip the world apart for him. You and I both know the name of his happiness.”
“Andrea.”
She nodded. The pain in her eyes melted into pride. “My Raphael could have any woman he wanted. If he wanted you, you wouldn’t be able to resist.”
“I don’t know about that . . .”
“Trust me. I’ve been courted by his father. Raphael had his pick, but he chose the girl who is beastkin. Because my life wasn’t complicated enough.”
“Andrea loves him. She’s smart, trained, and—”
She raised her hand. “You don’t have to sing her praises. I know more about her than you do. But the fact remains, she’s beastkin and she’s my son’s mate. She’s dominant, strong, and cunning. I have no doubt she can fight off any challengers, which means that when I step down, the reins of the bouda clan will pass to a child of an animal. The boudas will accept her. But the Pack may not.”
“Curran promised me she wouldn’t be persecuted.”
She pursed her lips. “It’s one thing to ignore the presence of a beastkin in the ranks. It’s another to have it rubbed in the alphas’ faces. Other clans don’t like us; they don’t like our unpredictability and they fear our rages. As the bouda alpha couple, Andrea and Raphael will sit on the Pack’s Council. That won’t go over well with some people. The wolves and Clan Heavy, in particular, will find her presence tough to swallow. There are four hundred wolves and only thirty-two of us. But the Bear is by far the biggest threat. He’s old-fashioned and he holds on to his prejudices. He practically raised Curran and he has a lot of influence with him. If I have any hope of safeguarding my son’s future, I have to counteract Mahon.”
Finally. It all became clear. “And you think that if I became Curran’s mate, I’d intercede on Andrea’s behalf?”
“Not only on her behalf, but on behalf of all boudas. There are six children in the clan now, four of whom are teenagers, all past puberty with no traces of loupism. If you think ordinary adolescents are wild, you’re in for a shock. The last time we had that many young ones, Curran was hammering the Pack together and he himself was rather young. He chose to be lenient when m
y kids stepped out of line. He’s secure in his power now and may not be as indulgent.”
Lenient Beast Lord. That would be the day.
Aunt B leaned in and fixed me with a stare. “Suppose you become the alpha. What is the minimum acceptable distance between a female shapeshifter and Curran?”
“I don’t know.”
“Three feet, unless it’s a battle. Any closer and she’s challenging you. You walk into a room at a formal gathering, do shapeshifters rise or stay down?”
“I don’t know.”
“The alphas rise to demonstrate that you acknowledge their power, the rest stay down, showing submission. If a shapeshifter shows you his teeth, is he smiling in greeting or is he trying to intimidate you?”
“I don’t know.” Broken record, that’s me.
“If his head is bowed, he’s smiling. If he’s holding himself erect, you need to be snarling.”
I’d had just about enough. “What is the point of all of this?”
“I have no doubt that you’ll become Curran’s mate. You love him, you nearly died for him, and you won’t be able to let him go. When that happens, you’ll be in over your head, dear. You must play by our rules and you don’t know them.” She smiled triumphantly. “Here is my offer to you: I’ll give you two of my kids. They’re very good, steady, and skilled. They won’t go crazy unless you give them permission. Their loyalty is to you alone and they’ll have your best interests at heart. They’ll keep you from making any big mistakes. You’ll still make small ones, but that can’t be helped. In return, you promise to hold the bouda clan in special regard. I won’t ask you to break the rules, but I may ask you to stretch them once in a while. It’s a very good offer, Kate.”
I met her gaze. “You don’t have to bribe me. I wouldn’t let anyone touch Andrea anyway.”
“You may think so now, but friendships end and wither, while business arrangements persist. I’m an old-fashioned alpha as well, and I’d prefer to make the bargain.”
Was there a downside to this? She was right, I knew nothing of the customs. If I chose to accept Curran’s offer . . . What the hell was I thinking?
“If I do end up being his mate, we have a deal,” I said. “That’s one colossal ‘if.’ ”
Aunt B’s eyes lit up. “Excellent, dear. Excellent.”
“I’ll tell him about this.”
“I expect you to.”
“You do realize that he could change his mind? We didn’t part on good terms.”
She pursed her lips. “Mating is a volatile time for our kind. Newly mated shapeshifters are jealous, possessive, and prone to violence. Their instincts are in overdrive. You want to hole up with your mate somewhere safe, and if anyone looks at him for longer than two seconds, you have to fight with yourself not to sink your claws into her throat. It’s not the most rational time in one’s life, which is why the Pack Law makes provisions for the mating frenzy.”
She reached into her bag and pulled out a small leather book with a clasp. She unlocked the clasp, revealing pages protected by clear plastic. A tiny photo album.
“These are all of my hooligans.” Aunt B flipped through the pages and held the album out to me. A young man smiled back at me from the photograph. Thin to the point of skinny, he had glossy dark hair and a kid’s grin: wide and happy.
“Alejandro,” she said. “We call him Mouse, because he was always so quiet, you wouldn’t know he is in the room. Five three, a hundred and twenty pounds wet. Arms like matches. Eats like a horse but nothing sticks to him. He’s a shy sweet kid. Look at that grin.” She smiled. “Not a mean bone in the boy. He got married last year to a very nice rat girl. Girls joked a bit: mouse got married to a rat. At his wedding, Curran remarked that his wife was very pretty. Alejandro jumped on the table and tried to cut Curran’s throat with his dinner knife.”
I blinked. “What happened?”
“Well, what do you think happened? Curran grabbed him by the neck and we had to go and get a loup cage to put the groom in until he calmed down. That’s how he spent his reception, in the loup cage in the other room, screaming curses. His bride sat by the cage until he cooled off enough to be reasoned with and then got in there with him. He didn’t scream after that.” Aunt B rubbed the photo with her thumb. Her eyes were warm. “He’s very embarrassed by it all now.”
I didn’t know the Pack law well, but I knew enough to recognize a challenge. “Curran could’ve killed him.”
“Oh, yes. Would’ve been well within his rights, too. The Pack law is very careful. It doesn’t say you can’t punish a shapeshifter during the mating frenzy. It just says that you don’t have to punish him. If you want to overlook his infraction, it won’t be seen as a sign of weakness on your part. Mind you, Curran wasn’t trying to rile Mouse up. He has to come to every wedding, because they always invite him, and he hates it. He’s usually very careful with what he says, but he was tired that day and he said the first polite congratulatory thing that popped into his head. ‘You have a beautiful wife, Alejandro.’ ”
“That was it?”
She nodded. “Yes, that’s all that was said. This is the kind of insanity you’re dealing with, dear. Except for you, it’s much worse. Curran has a harder time controlling the possessive urges than most. He is . . . damaged.”
“What do you mean?”
She grimaced. “It’s not my place to explain this to you. What you need to know is that his protective drive is very strong. I’m amazed he hasn’t rolled you in a blanket and dragged you off into the Keep. He’s been insufferable since you had your falling-out. He loves you, Kate, and that’s why he’s waiting patiently for you to make up your mind.”
“I know it may come as a shock, but it’s sort of considered polite to wait for the consent of the woman. In fact, I’m pretty sure that if you don’t wait, you may have to deal with pesky criminal charges like kidnapping and rape.”
Aunt B rolled her eyes. “The boy isn’t a maniac—no is no and he’ll understand that. To force you would be going against everything he stands for and you know it as well as I do. For everything, there is a price in this world. His price is us. Ask yourself, is he worth becoming an alpha to the Pack? Do you love him enough? And take it from someone who buried two of her mates: you might want to decide fast. We live in a dangerous world. If you see a chance to be happy, you have to fight for it, so later you have no regrets.”
CHAPTER 23
AUNT B LEFT. I WAITED A FEW BREATHS, FOUND my shoes, and climbed up the stairs. And ran into Jennifer on the landing. Jennifer looked like she devoted her life to the god of running: long legs, long body, long face. Long teeth. Especially in the beast form.
Jennifer and her husband, Daniel, ran Clan Wolf. From what I’d heard, of the two, Jennifer was more aggressive and more likely to twist the head off your shoulders. Daniel could be reasoned with, but if you pissed off Jennifer, it was all over.
“Going somewhere?” The wolf alpha crossed her lean arms.
“Out.”
“I can’t let you do that.”
I looked into her blue eyes. “You might want to rephrase that.”
Jim wandered out of the kitchen and leaned against the door frame.
Jennifer raised her head. She had a couple of inches of height on me and she milked them for all she had. “You are the Beast Lord’s mate and under my protection.”
“Where did you hear that?”
“The wolf clan has its sources.”
Well, wasn’t that special. “Then the wolf clan also knows that my mate status is still in question. I haven’t said yes.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You dumped catnip on his bed and welded his weight bench together.”
Jennifer two, Kate zero. “That’s a private matter between me and His Furriness. Even if we were mated, I have my own name and I made my own rep. I don’t think the term ‘mate’ should trump everything I’ve done. I’ve earned more than that.”
Jim chuckled softly.
Jennif
er took a step back and sized me up. “Point taken,” she said finally. “But if you walk out of that door, I’ll have to explain to Curran that I had you secured and let you go. I have enough to worry about as it is.”
She had a point. “I have work to do. The magic is down, so it’s unlikely Erra is still running around. She doesn’t like technology much, and the last time I saw her, she was trying to redecorate the snowdrifts around my place in a lovely shade of red.”
“No.”
I looked at Jim. “I’m a bit fuzzy on my status within the Pack.”
“Technically, you have none,” he said. “Sleeping with a shapeshifter doesn’t grant you Pack privileges.”
I smiled at Jennifer. “Since I have no official Pack status, you have no power to detain me. I’m a lawful agent of the Order and I need you to step aside.”
She looked at Jim. “Would you like to weigh in on this at any point?”
Jim shrugged. “If you get yourself fucked up and it gets out that Jennifer had you here and let you get hurt, it won’t look good for the wolves. And you have a record of getting yourself seriously fucked up.”
Thank you, Mr. Helpful. “Look, I appreciate the difficulty of your position, but I’m not going to sit here all cozy while my dog freezes to death.” And as of now, I was my aunt’s primary target. The more space I put between me and the shapeshifters, the safer they would be.
“Take an escort,” Jim said.
“Are you offering to babysit me, Ms. Poppins?”
“Nope. I’ll give you a vehicle and you can take Jennifer’s wolves with you.”
Brilliant. If I was attacked, I’d have some homicidal werewolves to protect.
Jennifer looked at Jim. “Why, thank you for volunteering my people, cat. Any other orders for me?”
Jim gave her his hard stare. Jennifer’s upper lip rose, showing a glimpse of her teeth.
I stepped back. “Please feel free to settle your differences.” And while you’re doing that, I’ll quietly go on my way . . .
Jennifer paused her glaring for a second. “The cat is right. Take my wolves.”
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