Dalziel 10 UnderWorld

by Reginald Hill

  What the hell am I doing here? Ellie asked herself. How did I get into this?

  The road was narrow and winding. She should have wiped the smeared screen before starting but she certainly wasn't going to stop now and see to it. With relief she saw an illuminated sign ahead which told her she was approaching the main road. From here it shouldn't take long to get to Burrthorpe and dump her dangerous cargo. After that, all she had to worry about was getting home and explaining to Peter what she had been doing.

  The main road was broader and straighter and she managed to pick up a bit of speed, so much so that when a poorly lit section of road works loomed up, she didn't see them till the last moment and had to swing the wheel savagely. There was a bang as her nearside wing caught one of the plastic warning cones and sent it spinning towards the verge.

  'Oh shit,' said Ellie as she straightened the car up. And 'Oh shit!' she repeated with redoubled force as her hitherto disregarded rear-view mirror blossomed with a blue flashing light.

  She did the right things, getting out of the car and walking a few steps back to meet them. For once in her life she hoped that she might be recognized as Inspector Pascoe's wife but these two were strangers to her. They courteously asked to see her licence and insurance, neither of which she had.

  'I came out of the house in a bit of a rush,' she explained.

  'Oh aye? Have you been drinking at all, missus?'

  'No!' she denied indignantly.

  'Well, we'll have to ask you to take a breathalyser test,' said the constable. 'You've committed a moving traffic offence.'

  'What the hell was that?' she demanded, ready to take a stand against random testing.

  The policeman merely glanced back towards the road works.

  'Oh, that,' said Ellie. 'They ought to light the things properly.'

  'Not very well lit, is it?' agreed the constable. 'Just blow in here, till you inflate the bag.'

  She took the breathalyser and blew with all her strength. The policeman examined the results. Then to her amazement he said, 'I'm sorry, madam, but this is positive. You'll have to come with us for further tests.'

  'You're joking!' exclaimed Ellie indignantly. 'There's something wrong with your machine.'

  'Mebbe,' agreed the constable with the patience of one who has heard it all before, 'but we'll find that out back at the station, won't we?'

  Ellie opened her mouth to let out her gale-force indignation when suddenly she remembered. Of course she had been drinking. How many bottles of wine had Peter and Wield and herself got through over supper? It seemed such an age ago that it required a piece of conscious computation to work out that barely an hour had elapsed since she’d dashed from the house with not a thought for what she had drunk that night.

  Was it worth explaining this to the policeman? Or was this perhaps the moment to forget her principles and drop Peter's name into the conversation?

  The decision was postponed by an unexpected interruption. It was a laugh, long, merry, drunken. It came from Colin Farr who had opened the passenger door the better to eavesdrop on Ellie's exchange with the constabulary.

  'Drunk in charge of a drunk!' he hiccoughed. 'That's grand. Lecturing me, and you're full of pop yourself!'

  The policemen exchanged glances and one of them wandered across to Farr.

  "Evening, sir,' he said politely.’I'm afraid your friend isn't going to be able to drive you any further and I don't think you had better take over the car, had you? Best come along with us too, eh?'

  'Get fucked,' said Farr, all merriment ceasing as if cut off by an electric switch.

  'That's a nasty cut, sir,' said the policeman. 'Have you been in a fight or something?

  'Just a little accident, Officer,' said Ellie hastily. 'Colin, you wait here. Either I'll be back or I'll fix for a taxi to pick you up.'

  'No need,' said Farr, trying to stand up. 'I'm fine. I can foot it back to Burrthorpe from here. But I'm not . . .'

  'What's your name, son?' interrupted the policeman.

  'Not the same as yours, so I'm not your fucking son, am I?' snarled Farr.

  'Now don't you get stroppy with me, lad!'

  'Look, his name's Colin Farr,' said Ellie, wanting to defuse this situation. 'He's nothing to do with this, is he? I mean, he's just a passenger, so can't we just go to your station and get this silly business sorted out?'

  'Farr? Colin Farr from Burrthorpe?' To Ellie's horror the nearest policeman suddenly seized Colin's arm in a tight lock. 'Right, sunshine. You'd better come along with us after all. Oh no, none of that!'

  Colin had swung his free arm at the man's face and next moment he was bent double, shrieking in pain, as the policeman savagely thrust the locked arm up between his shoulder-blades. The other cop was leaning into the car, talking into the radio.

  'What's going on?' demanded Ellie. 'I'm dreaming this! What the hell do you think you're doing?'

  Farr was forced past her and thrust into the rear seat. Ellie was contemplating an assault on the arresting constable's back when she felt her arm gently taken by the other man who had finished on his radio.

  'Don't make things worse,' he said wearily.

  'What's happening? Why are you arresting my friend?'

  'Friend, is he? You should mebbe pick your friends more carefully.'

  'And you should mebbe pick your victims more carefully!'

  And Ellie heard herself doing what long ago she had vowed she would never do, parading her relationship to Peter, and her mainly pretended intimate acquaintance with every senior officer from Dalziel up to the Chief Constable, in an effort to extract privileged treatment. Dubious at first, the man ended up convinced, but not overly impressed. It was like using the ultimate weapon and seeing it explode like a soap-bubble.

  'Look, I'm sorry, Mrs Pascoe, and I'll see your husband gets informed, but you'll still have to come in with us.'

  'Can't you get it into your skull, I'm not worried about my husband being informed,' said Ellie, sadly disillusioned. 'It's me that I want informed. What's going on?'

  The man hesitated then said, 'All I can tell you, Mrs Pascoe, is that half an hour ago we got a call from South Yorkshire asking us to keep an eye out for your friend, Colin Farr. Said he'd most likely be riding a motorbike.'

  'But why? What's he supposed to have done?'

  'He works at Burrthorpe Main, doesn't he? Well, at the end of the last shift they found a man dead down the pit, a deputy name of Satterthwaite. And the South Yorks force would like your friend Mr Farr to help with their inquiries!'

  Chapter 8

  'I don't believe any of this.’ said Pascoe.

  On his arrival at Burrthorpe police station, he had been neatly intercepted by Detective Chief Inspector Alex Wishart of South Yorks CID whose presence in this outpost of his constabulary empire was not reassuring. Something serious was going on. Quickly Wishart gave him a brief outline of events as they involved Ellie.

  'What it comes down to is that my wife has been picked up drunk in charge of a murder suspect?'

  'That's how I might put it if I were writing for the Challenger,' said Wishart. He was a small, neat man with a residual Scots accent which had survived his transplant to South Yorkshire some thirty years earlier. Pascoe enjoyed his dry humour, and liked and respected him.

  'Where are they?' he asked.

  'Farr's up at the hospital. He's got a lot of injuries and I want it firmly established that they're nothing to do with us. Your good lady's here but not being very cooperative. Listen, Peter, I'd really like to smudge this breathalyser business out of sight. It's an unhelpful complication and the reading was just on the borderline anyway.'

  'So what's the problem?'

  'The Press,' said Wishart. The locals are here already and no doubt the big boys will be sending out scouts. Someone will talk. It might even be your good lady, the way she's going on about citizens' rights and police brutality. Once the hacks find out she's married to a cop they'll have a field day.'

&nb
sp; 'What are you saying, Alex?' asked Pascoe.

  'Urge upon her the merits of silence, even if it's only relative. And explain that we've got to go ahead with the blood test. It'll almost certainly be under the limit by now, so that will be one less thing for the Press to sink their fangs into. Oh, and it would be nice to have her statement all signed and sealed by the time I get back.'

  'From where?'

  For answer Wishart jerked his thumb downwards.

  'You're going down the pit? Jesus!' said Pascoe with a shudder.

  'I don't much care for the idea myself. It'll only be a token to get the Forensic boys under way. Looks bad if the investigating officer doesn't show his face at the scene of the crime.'

  'It's definitely a crime, then?'

  'You ought to see the body,' said Wishart grimly.

  'It's been brought up already?' said Pascoe in surprise.

  'Peter, you don't leave bodies down a coal mine. When they found him, they thought it must have been an accident so naturally they brought him out. Soon as a doctor saw his injuries though, we were sent for.'

  'These injuries . . . ?'

  'Looks like several violent blows to the skull with a length of metal, but we'll need to wait for the PM for details. No doubt about assault, though.'

  'Where does Farr fit in?'

  'He knocked off early saying he felt sick. His team leader, a man called Wardle, told him he'd better let Satterthwaite, the official in charge of their section, know. Evidently there's been bad feelings between Farr and Satterthwaite, with threats of violence. Farr went off. When he left the pit-yard, he didn't go home but just vanished.'

  'And on the strength of that you put out a call for him?'

  'No, though his reputation plus this previous trouble with Satterthwaite might have been enough. But there was another deputy, a man called Mycroft, who saw Farr on his way out. He said Farr asked if he'd seen Satterthwaite and he directed him to where he thought he might be. Also I thought it might be a good idea to have his pit-black checked by Forensic. There'd almost certainly be traces after an attack like that. But when he looked for Farr's gear in the dirty lockers, it wasn't there. So then I put out a call. But I'm treading very carefully, Peter. It's tribal round here, you've got to be careful not to upset any local ju-ju. So wish me luck. I'll not be long if I can help it. Make yourself known to Sergeant Swift. I've told him you're coming. Whatever anyone else says, he runs this joint!'

  Wishart left and Pascoe went in search of Swift, a grizzled middle-aged man who didn't greet him with any enthusiasm.

  'You'll find your wife upstairs, sir. Second floor, first on left.'

  The rebuilt Burrthorpe police station was, perhaps literally, big enough to withstand a siege, and, perhaps wisely, they'd put Ellie as far away from the public areas as they could without locking her up.

  'Peter, what's going on?' she demanded angrily as soon as he came through the door. 'I've been stuck in here for nearly an hour.'

  'You make it sound like a dungeon,' said Pascoe. 'The door's not locked.'

  'Not physically perhaps. The Scots dwarf who put me in here said he was a friend of yours and implied that if I didn't stay put, it might mean a public beheading for you!'

  'He was exaggerating,' said Pascoe. 'It would probably be private. But thanks for worrying. I hear you were breathalysed.'

  'Yes, I bloody was! I bet you weren't, and you probably drank twice as much as me.'

  'You're not implying privilege, are you?'

  She shook her head and said, 'Not really. Yours is not a name to conjure with, as I found out the hard way.'

  'Ah. Trying some conjuring, were we? Well, you'll be pleased to see just how impartial and incorruptible we are,' said Pascoe. 'Which means you'll have to take a blood test.'

  'What?'

  'That's the procedure. You wouldn't want us to vary the procedure, would you?'

  'Peter, don't muck about. They've got Colin somewhere in this kremlin and they're trying to pin a murder on him. Who the hell's bothered about breathalyser tests?'

  'Ellie.’ said Pascoe, very quiet and controlled. 'Farr isn't here. He's been taken to hospital for a check-up. He will be well taken care of. Your job now is to take care of yourself. It would be well, for instance, to establish that you were not indulging in some kind of mobile drunken orgy when apprehended.'

  'Apprehended? You make it sound like there was a car chase like in one of those awful cop films you love watching.'

  'That is just how it may sound unless we are careful,' said Pascoe wearily. 'Look, the doctor should be here soon to take the sample. Don't be too impatient. Every minute gets you nearer legality. Then you'll have to make a statement.'

  'Statement?'

  'Yes. You're a possible witness in a murder case, remember?'

  'Witness of what, for God's sake?'

  'I don't know,' said Pascoe, 'I wasn't there. I'll fix up for someone to come and help with the statement. No, I don't mean write it, just the lay-out and to witness your signature.'

  'Can't you do that?'

  'Not a good idea. I've no standing here, thank God. Also I'll give Wieldy a ring and make sure our daughter isn't holding him hostage.'

  'Oh God. I'd forgotten Rosie,' she said in alarm. 'You left her with Wield?'

  'What did you want me to do? Bring her here?'

  'No. Of course not. I'm sorry. I'm sure he'll be fine.'

  There was a knock at the door and a tired-looking man with a doctor's bag came in.

  'Mrs Pascoe?'

  'That's her,' said Pascoe, 'I think.'

  He went out and wandered around till he found an empty office with a telephone. He sat down and rang his home number. There was a heart-chilling delay before the call was answered.

  'Hello?' said a gruff voice eventually.

  'Wieldy?'

  'Who else? Sorry if I took a long time. I was outside.'

  'Don't tell me. Looking for a kitten up a tree?'

  A few days ago a neighbour's kitten had got stuck up a tree in the Pascoes' garden. Rosie had heard it crying and had been delighted when Pascoe rescued it and brought it into the house. Her delight, however, had turned to anger and grief when the neighbours had gratefully claimed it. Clearly determined that the next one was going to be hers, she now heard kittens crying in every gust of wind.

  'You should have warned me,' said Wield.

  'If I'd warned you about everything, I'd not have left yet. Cats apart, is everything all right?'

  'Grand, thanks. And you?'

  'It's getting sorted. I'll tell you about it when we get back, which I hope won't be too long. Meanwhile make yourself at home, and if you get knackered waiting, don't hesitate to bed down in the spare room.'

  'Will do.'

  'And thanks, Wieldy. Cheers.'

  'Hello. Who're you?'

  A spotty-faced young man was standing in the doorway, uncertain whether to be aggressive or not. Pascoe made up his mind for him by flashing his warrant card and learning in return that this was Detective-Constable Collaboy.

  'Just the man,' said Pascoe. 'My wife's along the corridor writing a statement. She's a witness in the Satterthwaite case. When she's finished, she'll need someone to go through it with her and then witness her signature. Could you see to that?'

  The young man agreed without enthusiasm. Perhaps Ellie's reputation had already spread. And if it hadn't, it was soon going to, Pascoe thought with a sinking heart as he led Collaboy into the room where he'd left Ellie, and found it empty. As they'd walked along the corridor, his ear had caught and dismissed as none of his business a distant hubbub of upraised voices. But somehow deep in his small intestine he had known it was his business all along.

  He ran lightly down the stairs. The noise grew louder as he approached the station desk area and when he pushed open the door, he saw that his small intestine was blessed with the same power of divination as Dalziel's piles.

  Pressing round the desk, behind which stood Sergeant Swift, was
a crowd of people who were thinking seriously of becoming a mob. Prominent, almost pre-eminent, among them was Ellie. Pascoe stood and watched her for a moment. She always flung herself wholeheartedly into debate. Her hands reinforced her arguments as clearly as sign language to a deaf man. He watched them as they stabbed emphatic fingers at Swift, cut through his denials with scything sweeps, clutched at her bosom in righteous indignation, fluttered to her flaming cheeks in shock, cupped her ears in disbelief. She was beautiful and he loved her and he would not have her change one iota, except that maybe at this moment it would be nice if she were sitting at home, dandling Rosie on her knee, while his slippers warmed before the fire.

  Thrusting such recidivist thoughts from his mind, he advanced to join the merry throng. Central to it was a woman in her early forties, thin, pale, a pretty face, but her eyes deep shadowed by worry or illness or both. This, he quickly inferred, was Colin Farr's mother. Supporting her, metaphorically, though his hand did rest comfortingly on her shoulder, was a long skinny man, angular of limb and body, with a narrow anxious face. Behind them crowded a chorus of Burrthorpians of both sexes. It seemed that Mrs Farr was claiming a mother's right, potent in lore if not in law, to see her son. Ellie had clearly joined in the debate, and the locals, though by no means tyros in the art of simple abuse, had quickly acknowledged a virtuoso and settled back to enjoy the performance. Pascoe listened for a while and though he too could not but admire the force and the rationality of his wife's arguments, he felt that an impartial judge would finally have to award the sergeant the laurels for his patient repetition.

  'Ellie,' Pascoe interposed finally. 'He's not here. I told you before. Listen to what the sergeant says. He's not here. He's gone to the hospital.'

  It was clear that Ellie, having till now concentrated all her rhetoric on police mendacity, was quite prepared to switch in mid-trope to police brutality. Pascoe cut her short by addressing himself politely to the woman. 'Mrs Farr? I think you'll find your son has been taken to the County Hospital. ‘There's nothing to worry about. It's quite normal in these matters.'