by K. M. Shea
“We should go,” Kohath whispered. I walked away, glancing back to watch the old woman curse at the children.
“Darn kids! That’s it, no dessert after dinner! And if you eat my flowers again it will be an early bed time!”
I shook my head in disbelief as we walked on. Once we reached the den Kohath bowed.
“Sadly, this is where we must part,” he mournfully sighed.
“I’m so heart broken,” I blankly replied.
“Be strong for me Ahira,” he teased.
“Each second your away from me I feel faint,” I shot back, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
Kohath laughed and waved as he and Tuggles started down the road. I watched them until they disappeared from sight before I went into the cave, planning the rest of my day.
The next morning started out normal. I got up, dressed, made breakfast, ate with Azmaveth, and started getting ready for cleaning. I pushed my dress sleeves up and reached for the charm bracelet Azmaveth had given me. I usually took it off when I scrubbed the floors, there was no sense in getting it dirty. However, the bracelet, oddly enough, was not dangling from my wrist like it always did.
A frown crossed my lips and I twisted around a few times and shook my clothes. The bracelet must have fallen off…
“What’s wrong?” Azmaveth asked, noting my odd behavior before stuffing his mouth with food.
“I can’t find my charm bracelet. The one you gave me,” I said as I bent over to look for it on the floor. It’s a good thing I did too.
“What?” Azmaveth said, spitting the oatmeal out, spraying it all over the kitchen wall.
I glared. “Now I’ll have to wash the walls too!” I moaned.
“You lost the bracelet?” Azmaveth all but roared.
“Sheesh! What’s your problem? I’m looking for it right now! Besides, you told me yourself it was just something you found laying around. It’s not like you can wear it anyways.”
“Yeah, well that was before I found out what it was!” he stormed. “FIND IT!”
“I’ll go look in my room Mr. Crabby Claws!” I replied as I flounced away.
Azmaveth followed me, babbling as we went.
“If you don’t find that bracelet, Ahira, I just might have to fling myself off a cliff and drag you with me,” he said as I walked into my room.
He paused outside the human sized entrance and placed his eye over the opening.
“Nosey is your middle name,” I said.
“No it’s not it’s…” he trailed off.
I rolled my eyes. “You can’t even remember your middle name?” I asked as I inspected my bed stand.
“It’s not that,” he protested.
“Oh? Then what is it?” I questioned, hoping it would be ridiculous, like Goodbert or Humphrey. I had a cousin named Humphrey.
“Uhh…,” he started, his eye roaming around my room. “There it is!” he crowed, gazing at my dresser.
“Ah, so it is,” I replied as I walked over and picked it up off the dresser top. “I must have forgotten to put it on this morning. Oh well,” I shrugged. “Now about your middle name,” I gleefully snickered while turning around. The doorway was empty. I suspected that he had retreated to his lab, and I was not about to follow him. (Especially when I had that oatmeal mess of his to clean up.)
Later that day I heard a doorbell ring, but the toll was almost complete eclipsed by a mournful wail that strangely sounded a lot like Behemoth.
I abandoned my task of sweeping floors and walked to the den entrance, Azmaveth following me. We opened the doors and sure enough, Behemoth was standing outside our doorway looking droopy, tired, and depressed.
“Hello Azmaveth,” he sniffed, on the verge of tears. “Ahira!” he brightened. “Hello! How are you?”
“I’m fine, thank you,” I said, watching Cinders amble out from behind Behemoth.
“What is the problem Behemoth?” Azmaveth asked as he slowly and carefully used a silver claw to pull me closer to his side, almost like he was politely dragging me away from a madman.
“Well…I was wondering if you would like to switch princesses!” he cheerfully asked.
“No.” Azmaveth flatly said and shut the door in Behemoth’s face.
“Come on Azmaveth! It’s not fair!” Behemoth whined.
“Yes it is, now go away,” Azmaveth said, starting to walk back to his lab.
“Azmaveth let him in. It will give him a break from Cinders, which I’m sure he needs,” I said as I started to open the door.
“If you insist,” Azmaveth sighed as he sat on his haunches and watched Behemoth stumble in. “You might as well let his princess in too,” he added as he walked down the hallway with a sobbing Behemoth.
I did so with great reserve.
“I am expecting to be told all about him,” the odd princess informed me as she stomped around the kitchen while I finished sweeping.
“And who exactly is him?” I asked, getting a feeling of dread.
“You know who I’m talking about!” she crossly said. “He is so handsome,” she dreamily added.
She could only be referring to Kohath, so I frowned. Handsome was one way to describe him. So was bossy, rude, and annoying.
“Where does he live?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” I said, honestly answering her.
“Where?” Cinders demanded.
“I don’t know!”
“I want to know where him lives!” she stormed.
Apparently English was her second language after Idiot. “I. don’t. know!” I said, emphasizing every word.
“Where?” Cinders stubbornly repeated.
“He lives in a hole, clothing himself in squirrel skins and eating only nuts,” I said, inventing a reply because she obviously didn’t believe my lack of knowledge. I highly doubted she would believe me anyways unless I spun an unbelievable tale.
“Holes are nice,” she said with a nod. “Who are his parents?”
I paused, another question I didn’t know the answer to. “I’ve heard they were a beautiful human lady and an ugly dwarf man. His father died, and shortly after his mother died too. She couldn’t bear to look at him because he is so ugly,” I invented.
“I’m related to dwarves!” Cinders excitedly exclaimed.
“Big surprise there.” I muttered.
“Does he have any siblings?” she continued.
At this point I was starting to realize how little I knew about my vain friend. “He has a pet mole,” I offered. He really didn’t but I wish he did. Maybe the little creature would bite him.
This question and answer period went on for about an hour before Azmaveth came and forcefully escorted Cinders back over to Behemoth.
“I still don’t get why you won’t consider trading,” Behemoth sadly said.
“Good bye Behemoth,” Azmaveth stonily said.
“It’s not like Cinders is evil or anything!” Behemoth got in before the door was slammed shut in front of him for the second time.
“Dragons,” I said, shaking my head.
“Indeed!” Azmaveth added.
Chapter 11A Moody Kitten
Princes started stalking our cave again while I was gone at Behemoth’s, herb picking, and doing other various chores earlier that week. Azmaveth threatened to start killing them, for they always interrupted him in the middle of a so called Important Experiment, until we came to an agreement. I would come up with a defense system for our cave and Azmaveth wouldn’t hurt them.
He made me throw in two daily ear scratchings before we had a deal.
Now I didn’t want to deal with these princes either, so I was very enthusiastic and eager to come up with prince deterrents.
I decided that first and foremost a plan was necessary. So I wandered around our cave for a while, getting a lay of the landscape before brainstorming.
My first idea was to place signs with discouraging messages on our driveway. That might seem like a stupid idea, but if these princes we
re as bright as Lesha and her pals, the signs just might work. So I painted and pounded signs with catchy phrases in place. A few of my favorites were: Caution: Ugly Princess, WARNING – LOOSE RABID DRAGON, and my all time favorite, SAVE YOURSELVES – the dying message of Princess Ahira. I spattered the dying message sign with red paint, hoping it could be mistaken for blood.
I was pounding the last sign in (All You Can Eat Human Barbeque TODAY) when Aaron strolled up the driveway.
He read the sign before smiling at me. “Having prince trouble?”
“You have no idea,” I grumbled. “Say, are you busy?” I inquired, glancing around the landscape.
Aaron laughed, immediately sucked into my battle plan. “What did you have in mind?”
“I was thinking of something along the lines of a big trench,” I sweetly smiled, standing in the middle of the road, waving my arms like a chicken for emphasis.
“No problem, where did you want it?” he asked.
Ever prepared, I traced out a large circle with a stick.
“Okay, stand back please,” he pleasantly ordered.
I backed up a few steps and immediately the sand started to fly. A huge dust cloud swallowed up the driveway and I closed my eyes, coughing and sneezing. After the dust cleared a huge, eight-foot crater gaped in my driveway.
Aaron created a magical grid that would hold a person if they walked across it. It would only collapse if a human, more specifically a royal human, stood on it. We covered it up and smiled with satisfaction at our work. (Thankfully Aaron had also worked into the spell an immunity spell on my part, so whenever I walked over the hole the grid would stay up.)
“What next?” I asked.
“How about an alarm system?” he suggested.
“How would we do that?”
“I could work the entire alarm system into all the spells, for example, whenever the grid collapsed and trapped a prince the alarm would go off. We could hook the alarm up to your doorbell. The only difference would be is that it would ring quicker for the alarm instead of the door.”
“Sounds good to me,” I said, immensely pleased.
Aaron quickly hooked up the spell as I sat and thought of other ideas. Next we rigged up a trap so if a prince (or saleswizard) stepped on a patch of moss that covered the road, they triggered two logs that would swoop down and hopefully knock the princes down and set off the alarm. We also assembled a snare so when someone stepped on a rock they prompted a caldron full of a smelly potion to pour over their heads.
Thankfully Aaron was able to work Kohath, Azmaveth, myself, and his own immunity into the spell so none of us would be injured while walking to the cave. I think Aaron was a little surprised when I asked that we included Kohath in the immunity spell. Actually, I was a little shocked myself!
We had just finished and were grinning ear to ear with happiness when a dark cloud descended on us.
I glanced up and silently cursed my luck. Azmaveth was back. I watched the stormy dragon glare at Aaron. If looks could kill Aaron would have been dead and buried a decade ago.
“I thought I told you not to come back, human!” Azmaveth spat. I slowly approached him and gently patted his silver claws.
“Azmaveth mind your manners,” I ordered, hoping to draw his attention away from the young, blue robed wizard long enough to allow Aaron to flee.
Aaron, surprisingly held his own for once, which amazed me. Magic boy actually had a spine! “As Ahira’s friend I thought I had the right to visit her,” he bravely told my dragon.
“Leave mage!” Azmaveth thundered, his eyes starting to grow murky as his scales went from royal purple to night sky black.
Aaron wisely lost his courage and didn’t need to be told twice. He squeaked before scurrying off into the forest.
I watched him go before kicking Azmaveth on the claws. “What part of ‘mind your manners’ did you not understand?”
“It’s not me, it’s that mage!” he objected.
“That’s a ridiculous statement. For starters, he didn’t do anything. Secondly, as a dragon you are undoubtedly more powerful, therefore you are supposed to be responsible and nicer.”
“Just keep your friend away,” he snarled as he gazed at my work.
“Your case is a hopeless one,” I groaned, leaning against his paw.
“Looks like you got quite a bit of work done,” Azmaveth said while disdainfully sniffing the air. “But the spells were cast by that wretch,” he huffed. He wordlessly redid the entire job, his own dark black/purple magic overpowering Aaron’s sky blue magic.
“Be sure to keep EVERYONE in the immunity spell,” I told Azmaveth.
He grumbled, but did as I requested.
The rest of the night was pretty quiet, and I enjoyed the peace and harmony that ruled in our cave. But I should have known better. My life is never completely without chaos.
I got up early the following day and yawned as I stretched like a cat. I stumbled out of my bedroom and saw Azmaveth, sitting in the kitchen, flexing his wings as he impatiently waited for me.
“There you are! Sleeping all day! Really, you should have been up hours ago.”
“The sun is barely up, and who made you Miss Merry Sunshine? What happened to the Morning Monster?” I yawned.
Azmaveth rolled his eyes and ignored the comment. “I’m leaving. I have to speak to the council about Tuggles. I won’t be home until later tonight, perhaps tomorrow morning, so don’t wait up for me,” he informed me.
I nodded and dished out some oatmeal he had made for me.
“Good bye Azmaveth,” I called as he exited the cave. He didn’t reply and I rolled my eyes as I shoved a spoonful of oatmeal in my mouth. My eyes widened as and I spat the oatmeal out. I had forgotten what a terrible cook Azmaveth was! “Icky,” I said as I dumped the oatmeal outside before returning to the kitchen to prepare some edible food for my breakfast.
I just finished dressing and washing up when the doorbell rang.
“I’m coming!” I yelled as I walked down the tunnels, tying my creamy apron as I went. I threw the door open, greeting my guest, “Can I help you?”
I stepped outside and my jaw dropped as I lifted my head up to gaze up at Zerah. His silver blue scales were shimmering in the morning light and he eyed me with his grey eyes.
“Move it human,” he spat. “I need to speak with Azmaveth.”
I shuddered under his dark gaze but held my ground. “He’s not here right now, and he won’t return until night.”
“Then I’ll wait for him in his lab,” he said with narrowed eyes as he stepped toward the open doors. I gulped and backed into the tunnel. (After all, who was I to try and stop a two story tall dragon?)
“He said he might possibly return tomorrow morning. I don’t think you want to wait around that long,” I volunteered as he entered the cave.
“I don’t care! You’re wasting my time. Move,” he bellowed.
“As you wish,” I said, walking back to the kitchen with Zerah hot on my heels. We parted in the main chamber, but I called out after him. “Be careful when you enter his lab, he usually booby traps it!”
Zerah snootily snorted and walked on.
I found myself shaking my head as I entered the kitchen. Azmaveth’s booby traps were not so much dangerous as they were embarrassing. Once he rigged his door with a burping potion. (He forgot to disarm the spell and the trap exploded in his face. He burped bubbles for two days after that incident.) Another time he forgot to disarm a spell that turns things pink. I was the unfortunate recipient of that spell. Even now I sometimes suspect that the russet hues in my mouse brown hair aren’t so much red as they are pink. But, just this once I hoped the booby trap would be something nasty.
I was kneading bread dough when sure enough, a huge explosion shook the very foundations of the cave. I abandoned my post, ran down the hallway, and skid to a stop at Azmaveth’s lab.
A huge, gooey lavender potion had splashed all across my clean floor. I peeked into the lab
and coughing in all the smoke.
“Zerah?” I called. He was nowhere to be found. “Maybe it was another shrinking spell?” I muttered. I dug around the lab for a few more minutes, looking for the snobby dragon. I was just about to give up when I spotted a frightened kitten wedged next to the open door.
“Well hi there little guy,” I greeted, holding my hand out to the kitten. The wretched creature hissed.
I stared. The kitten was silver with gray tiger stripes… and he distinctly wrinkled his nose as he tried to scoot as far away from me as possible. “Zerah?” I asked on a crazy hunch.
The kitten scoffed, opened its mouth, and pitifully meowed. His eyes bulged out of their sockets as he coughed. As he persisted in trying to make some resemblance of speech he continuously coughed, almost like he was hacking up a hairball.
“Hooooo Zerah,” I found myself smirking. This was better than anything else I could ask for.
Zerah the cat growled at me, but I ignored it and mercilessly picked him up by the scruff of his neck.
Zerah snarled and spat as I walked to the kitchen, holding him out in front of me until my arms grew tired. I cradled him in my arms instead, and the dragon-cat protested greatly, savagely clawing me and spitting as we entered the kitchen.
He was yowling his head off when I calmly set him down, picked up a bucket of water I had prepared for cleaning, and dumped it over him.
Zerah coughed, his kitten eyes wide as his silver fur dripped, hanging off his wiry, wet frame. He looked like a shell shocked, drowning rat.
He pitifully wailed.
I chuckled as I snatched up a towel and began drying him off. “Now Zerah, listen to a human for once in your life and behave,” I started, rubbing his tiger striped fur. “I’m far bigger than you right now. And you don’t want to be a cuddly kitten forever, right?” I asked, pausing my motions to listen for a response.
