by K. M. Shea
We chatted the rest of the way back, and in five minutes we surfaced directly next to my den.
“Thanks Aaron!” I said waving to him.
“No problem!” he said with a smile before disappearing into the woods. He almost seemed like a hermit, scurrying around the woods all the time. He conveniently popped up whenever I was alone too…
Days crept by and the frozen winter turned into a flowery spring. As winter thawed Aaron visited me often enough. He was a good friend and usually showed me my way back home whenever I got lost in the forest. Kohath ambled around our den for at least a few days out of the week. Usually it was when Azmaveth was gone. I suspected it was because Azmaveth didn’t want me home alone, and I also thought both of them were convinced that Aaron and I had a thing going on.
Azmaveth was gone a lot, mainly because he was preparing for the battle that would take place sometime in summer. When he was home we had fun playing together. (And I use the term loosely. Cleaning his room was fun for me but torturous for him. Similarly listening to his cursed book was fun for Azmaveth and hellish for me.)
I’ll pick up my story on an interesting day in early spring.
I was standing along side the dusty driveway. Tuggles and I were playing at the edge of the forest, in the grassy area directly next to it. He had my creamy white apron clenched between his teeth, and I was tugging on it while ordering him to release the fabric.
“Come on Tuggles!” I grumbled. “Let it go!” I said while pulling as hard as I could on my apron.
Nickering wickedly, the miniature unicorn complied.
I lost my balance and fell on my rump. I glared darkly at Tuggles, who was contently chewing on a mouthful of grass with an innocent look pasted on his face.
I grumbled under my breath and tossed the apron at Tuggles in a gesture of defeat. My mood worsened when I heard Kohath’s voice.
“Aiming for the auspicious title of mud princess are we? Oohh, or is it pig princess?” he laughed.
I hastily stood up, brushing the dirt off my clothes before swinging around to darkly watch Kohath, accompanied by another man, stroll down the driveway.
Kohath was in his standard black and purple clothes. His black eyes glinted with silver specks as he grinned at me. I had the burning desire to throw mud at his perfect face and white smile.
The man beside him appeared to be the same age, but beyond that the two were as different as night and day. This man had long silver-blue hair that fell as low as his waist. Stormy grey eyes stared at me from behind a fringe of bangs. His features were equally fine and pronounced as Kohath’s, but he struck me as being a snob. He wore a silver overcoat, which was similar to Kohath’s, and white breeches with black boots. Judging from his appearance and hair color I’d have to say that he was most likely Zerah’s steward.
“Ahira this is Levi, steward of the dragon Zerah,” Kohath introduced as they drew near.
“What a surprise,” I dryly said before smiling at Levi. “I’m Ahira, nice to meet you.”
But Levi had cut me off and was hissing at Kohath. “My name, you idiot, is—,” he never finished because Kohath elbowed him directly in the stomach.
“I see Tuggles is here,” Kohath interrupted while crouching down by the mini unicorn.
“Yes,” I said as Tuggles impatiently stamped a little hoof. “Behemoth is supposed to arrive soon to pick him up,” I added as the unicorn snorted.
I fluffed Tuggles’ hair as Kohath stood and elbowed Levi, giving him a meaningful glance.
Levi rolled his eyes, looking every bit as snobby as his master, and barely shook his head. “You only wish you could,” he told the purple haired steward.
“I can! I said I would show you and I will,” Kohath, clearly outrages, announced.
Tuggles purposely sneezed on my hand, showering it with snot and grass slime. “Ew,” I said as Kohath slowly approached me.
“Ahira,” Kohath said.
“What?” I sweetly said, reaching out to wipe my filthy hand on Kohath’s clean shirt. To my disappointment he didn’t even notice.
“You have something on your face,” he continued.
“Where?” I asked inspecting my sneezed on hand. I could only imagine what I looked like. Whenever I played with Tuggles I always returned to the den looking like a muddy piglet.
“Right here,” Kohath said before yanking me to his chest and abruptly kissing me.
My mind broke and the universe exploded.
I’m only kidding. It did take me a few moments to react. First I couldn’t believe that Kohath dared to do something so stupid, and then I was a little disgusted with myself because I thought it felt nice.
Finally my brain connected and I bashed the purple haired steward in the face, making him release me.
“In the name of all that is magical, you did NOT just do that!” I shouted, my voice growing shrill.
“I think I did,” Kohath said with a smug grin.
“You’re so abominable!” I shouted as my face turned bright red. I turned on my heels and fled, Tuggles galloping after me.
Levi was chuckling as I left. “Oh yes, I can see now that you can kiss her. But that doesn’t mean the lady likes it,” he snickered.
My fury grew hotter, if possible, and I ran into the den with Tuggles. I slammed the doors and barred them shut, locking the stewards outside.
I played with Tuggles for a good hour before I heard Azmaveth mournfully cry, “Why am I locked out of my own home?”
I moodily opened the door and glared at Azmaveth before flinging both doors open. “Have a good time with Kohath?” he asked innocently. Too innocently.
“Don’t even say a word,” I snarled before turning on my heels and disappearing back into the depths of the cave, leaving Tuggles and Azmaveth to stare at each other.
The following morning I had a rude awakening call. “Wakie, wakie, wakie!” Kohath called.
I snarled and turned over, never believing he would dare enter my room.
He didn’t get the hint and tried again. “Rise and shine Princess,” he sang.
I opened my eyes and mouth to angrily reply, but instead I screamed when I found that Kohath and I were nose to nose. The impudent boy had crawled into my bedroom and was perched on my bed like a king surveying his kingdom.
Kohath faked a hurt look. “No good morning cupcake?” he asked.
“Out, out, out!” I bellowed as I kicked him with my feet. I was still under my blankets though so it was more of a thrashing movement.
Kohath hopped up so he was a safe distance away, but he paced around the room instead of leaving. “We have to go get some Thimy herb,” he informed me.
I simultaneously frowned and yawned. “Why? Azmaveth told me that he doesn’t use Thimy herb in his potions. I just use it for seasoning.”
“Exactly,” Kohath said, perfectly smug. “Rose, Shammah, and Zerah are coming over for dinner tomorrow,” he explained. “Shammah loves that herb. He adds it to his food in amounts that can only be reflected in a ratio that compares that pesky Aaron and the annoyance his presence brings. In other words: a lot. So we need more.”
I rubbed my mussed hair. “You’re still not out of my room!”
“You just said out, you never said get out of your room,” he offhandedly added.
I paused and took a deep breath. “KOHATH, GET OUT NOW!”
He scampered out and left me to my morning routine.
I managed to eat a quick breakfast before Kohath whisked me out of the den and into the forest. Now I could tell you how we got lost while trying to find the herb, and how it took us about two hours to finally collect enough herbs, but I still feel a little bitter about that wasted morning. (Getting lost with Kohath is never a pleasant experience because he refuses to admit we are lost and will not ask for directions, ever. We passed the same phoenix FOUR TIMES.)
The afternoon did provide a bright spot for my day, however.
We were walking back to the den when I saw it. K
ohath, of course, was in the lead while I trailed behind him, mocking him behind his back. I was a little touchy still from the whole kissing incident the day before. So naturally I avoided looking at him.
“You can’t ignore me forever. I’ll just come into your bedroom in the morning and hop on your bed again,” Kohath called while I was Not-Looking-At-Him.
Normally this would have drawn my ire, but I was somewhat captivated by an odd sight.
There was a perfectly nice looking girl sitting in a tiny clearing, morosely sighing.
Without glancing at Kohath, because as I mentioned I was Not-Looking-At-Him, I scampered off the trail and headed for the girl.
Kohath heard me and quickly gave chase, but by that time I had gotten close enough to the girl to draw her attention.
She was about my age and was slouching on a tree stump, her delicate hands tucked under her chin. She had shiny, black hair that was tucked into a braid, and soft brown eyes that were originally narrowed in concentration, but widened at the sight of me.
I instantly liked her, not because I’m a great judge of people or anything, but because she was quite tan, even more so than me. At home I had to listen to hours of lectures delivered by my mother that were usually titled something along the lines of “Proper Ladies Are Not Tan.” So whenever I met another sun kissed female I felt a great bond with them.
“Excuse me,” I called, taking in her troubled expression. “Is everything alright?” I asked as Kohath nearly rammed into me, having finally caught up.
The girl heaved a sigh and leaned back on her stump. “I’m fine. But they are not,” she explained, flicking her hand in the air.
I followed her gesture and my eyes landed on seven small men. Each man was spread out on a stone table, his eyes closed.
“Who are they?” Kohath inquired.
The girl took a breath and pointed to each little man as she named him. “Leader, Grouchy, Giddy, Lethargic, Timid, Sicky, and Daft,” she paused. “Hello by the way. I’m called Snow White.”
“Snow White?” I asked, a little more than perplexed. The girl was bronze with dark hair and dark eyes. Her name was a little strange, never mind the small men.
Snow White sighed and rolled her eyes. “My mother loved winter and thought names should be advice. Mine was something about making ice desserts with white snow only.”
“Ah, I see. That is wise advice,” I said, scuffing my shoes in the grass before speaking again. “Are the little men dead?” I bluntly said.
Snow White laughed. “No. First of all they are dwarves, not little men. Secondly they are sleeping.”
I glanced around the meadow once more. Animals had gathered and were watching the dwarves with bored expressions and Snow White’s brow was wrinkled in concentration again.
“So what’s wrong with them?” I asked. It seemed Kohath was taking a vow of silence. I was pleasantly surprised he wasn’t ogling Snow White. He seemed to be more disturbed with the small rabbit that had taken up residence on the tip of his boot.
Snow White snapped out of her reverie. “Oh, I can’t wake them up,” she said. Seeing my confused expression she quickly added. “You see they are like my adopted uncles. When I was eight my step-mother, a beautiful and kind lady who loved me with all her heart, died. The dwarves found me and took me in. Today we were walking through the forest when we came upon an apple tree. I climbed it to reach the good apples at the top. However, with my uncles being so short they were unable to grab the apples off even the lowest branches. So they did the next best thing and ate the finest ones that had fallen on the ground.”
Snow White paused and gave the rabbits a meaningful glance. I swear they blushed in response.
“That’s where the problem started. The rabbits, immune to magical plants, had been eating the Dozy Plant, an herb that makes you fall asleep. The rabbits, upon finding themselves full, decided to relieve themselves under the apple tree. Now the apples that my uncles ate did not touch the bunnies’…waste. However the waste gave off the fumes from the Dozy Plant, which contaminated the apples,” she finished.
“Won’t the effects wear off?” I inquired.
“Not for two years,” Snow White grumbled.
“Is there any way you can wake them up?” I asked as I walked over to the apple tree to place some distance between Kohath and myself. He followed me, toting the basket filled with Thimy Herb.
Snow White sighed again. “Yes, but it’s next to impossible. I have to find seven dwarf women to wake them up. I’m not even convinced that dwarf women exist!” she said.
“I wonder how you would find one,” I mused out loud as I studied the dwarves. “I mean, what does a dwarf woman look like anyway?”
Snow White brightened up. “I heard that in order to catch one you need to sprinkle gold dust on a patch of mud and they’ll take a bath in it.”
“That sounds more like something a troll would do,” I said, scratching my head.
“Perhaps you’re right,” Snow White drooped.
“Maybe we should try mining,” I suggested. “Dwarves like mines, right? They’re always singing about it.”
“Oh that’s only in the legends,” Snow White said. “My uncles are jewelers, but they don’t even work in the mines. The dust aggravates their lungs.”
“So where on earth would we get ourselves a few dwarf women?” I groaned.
“Actually,” Kohath said as he slung his arm around my shoulders. “They’re pretty easy to find.”
“You mean you’ve seen some before?” Snow breathlessly asked.
“Hm?” Kohath said, responding as if he finally noticed that Snow White was there, with us. “Oh yes. They are quite common if you know where to look.”
“So?” I asked, prodding him.
“So what?” he replied, blinking as he looked at me.
“So where can we find them?” I asked.
Kohath glanced around. “Oh it’s easy. They have a theme song. If you sing it they will come.”
“What is it?” Snow asked.
Kohath retracted his arm for the moment and snapped his fingers. Instantly a big, leather bound book popped into existence and hovered in the air in front of him. He dropped the Thimy Herb basket and paged through the book for a few seconds before stopping and ripping out one of the pages. “Here it is,” he said, handing the page to Snow White.
“So I just have to sing it?” Snow White asked.
“Yep,” Kohath said, dismissing the book with a wave of his hand before picking up our basketful of herbs again.
Snow White paused, but reluctantly sang the words. She had quite the pleasant voice.
Dwarf men are dumb, that’s why I’ve sung
Dwarf girls I call, I need you all!
We’re in such trouble, so on the double
Please come and save us and you’ll be famous
When the last note faded we waited, silence met our ears.
“Wow, talk about dissing males,” Kohath muttered.
I ignored him and listened.
I could faintly hear the song echoed back to us in husky, low voices. Minutes later a band of seven dwarf women plunged through the trees, riding small, white donkeys.
The donkeys were about Tuggles size and the women were wrinkled with rough skin. In spite of this they had long shiny hair and pretty eyes. They each wore a billowing, colored cape and a colorful dress.
“Some one sang?” the lead female dwarf asked.
“Um, yes. We have a situation,” Snow White said, pointing to her dwarf uncles.
“Ah, say no more,” the leader said, she and her band each walked over to a male dwarf and leaned over them.
“Hey, they’re going to kiss them,” Kohath said, elbowing me.
The ladies leaned closer to the men until their faces were nearly touching.
“GET UP YOU LAZY SON OF A BUM!” the leader hollered into one dwarf’s face. His features contorted before he opened his eyes.
The rest of the women w
ere yelling similar expressions into the dwarves’ faces. They all rose, one by one, and sheepishly rubbed their heads with their grubby hands as they looked around.
“They’re going to kiss them huh?” I wryly asked Kohath looked truly disappointed.
“It looked like they were going to,” he retorted.
Snow White smiled, running around her uncles. “Oh Lethargic, Giddy! I’m so happy to see you’re all awake!” she paused for a moment, turning to face Kohath and I. “Thank you for your help!”
“It was our pleasure,” I called over my shoulder as I walked back toward the path, Kohath on my heels. Snow White, her uncles, and the dwarf women who were still furiously yelling in the male dwarf’s ears (“You idiot! What did you do this time?”) slowly disappeared from view as Kohath and I finished the trek home.
I yawned once I reached the den door. It was just past noon but I was oddly tired. “Are you coming in?” I asked, muffling yet another large yawn.
“Sure, why not,” Kohath shrugged. He watched my tired face confusion. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?” I said before I blacked out and fell to the floor in a heap.
Chapter 14Bad News
I woke up several minutes later to find myself sitting in Kohath’s lap. “What are you doing?” I asked as my eyes fluttered open.
Kohath was staring off into the distance, but a smirk crept across his lips. “You must have inhaled some of that Dozy Plant. You did stand under that apple tree for a while, and humans are easily influenced by the Dozy Plant.”
“So why weren’t you affected?” I questioned.
Kohath shrugged but turned his face to look down at me. “Who knows?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Wait a second, how did you wake me up? You didn’t bellow in my face like the dwarf women did,” I suspiciously said.
Kohath avoided my gaze. My glared deepened and I was about to hiss in his ear when I suddenly remembered. Shammah, Rose, and Zerah were coming over tomorrow.
I yelped and leaped off of Kohath’s lap, scuttling away. “Where are you going?” he called.
