by Emery Jacobs
That fucking hurt—a lot. Sometimes Jane can be such a bitch.
I close my eyes and shake my head. One solitary tear rolls down my cheek. I wipe it away and drop my head downward.
“Stop being a bitch,” Ava huffs.
I raise my head and open my eyes. My unshed tears are at bay for now, but it wouldn’t take much for me to lose control and sob uncontrollably.
Jane covers my hand with hers. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things. Sometimes I forget I have a filter and don’t use it. I love you and will help you any way I can.”
“We all need to take a couple of deep breaths and calm down,” Ava urges.
I do as I’m told and suck in a deep breath then blow it out before popping a piece of banana in my mouth. God, this is probably the best banana I’ve ever eaten.
“I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have just blurted this out. I should have given you guys a little more warning.”
Ava shifts in her chair and then leans forward, resting her elbows on the table. “I thought you were on birth control,” she says as she narrows her eyes.
“I am on birth control—I mean, I was. Remember how I said I didn’t want to take the pill, because I wouldn’t be able to remember to take it every day, and I didn’t want to get the shot, because it caused weight gain?” Ava nods and then looks over at Jane, who is listening intently. “So, I decided to go with the patch. I’ve been on it for over six months and never had any problems with it. I put on a new patch every Sunday. Well, it must have come off at some point, because when I went to remove it and put on a new one, the patch from the previous week was gone. I don’t know if it came off during exercise or what, but I never found it, and I never had a period during that time either.” I drum my fingers on the table as I think about how I’m going to break the news of who the father is to Jane. “We’d already had sex once before I realized the patch was missing. We had sex again the next day after I replaced it, but I read later that if the birth control patch is removed early then it’s like starting over, which means you have to use some other form of contraception for a month.”
“Yeah, like a condom. You ever think of using one of those? What if this guy gave you some disease?” Jane pushes a few strands of red hair behind her ear. “I hope you plan on seeing your doctor—soon.”
“Yes, Jane, I’m going to the doctor, but don’t worry about me having a disease, because I’m sure he’s clean. He just doesn’t seem like the type to sleep around.”
God, I hope I’m right. I truly didn’t even think about using a condom. I guess he assumed I was clean since I’d been divorced a year, and it was obvious that I hadn’t been having sex with anyone. So, when he asked me about birth control the first time we had sex—I told him we were okay and he believed me—trusted me. Dammit. This is all my fault. I should have kept a better check on that tiny patch just above my hip. At twenty-nine, I should know better, but Max was the only man I’ve ever been with, and we never used protection. Hell, I never even used any form of birth control; I never needed to, because it seemed like I was always trying to conceive.
“I just can’t believe you tried to get pregnant for an entire year and couldn’t, and now you have sex twice and boom,” Ava says as she sits up straight. She pinches off a piece of her chocolate chip muffin and nibbles on it while looking in my direction.
“Wait a second.” Jane taps her perfectly manicured finger against her lip. “How do you know Emmie had sex twice?” Her gaze meets Ava’s.
Oh, shit! Now she’s going to know Ava’s been privy to my sex life while she has not.
“I told her,” I admit.
“So, I guess that means Ava knows who the father of your baby is.” Jane’s gaze meets mine. I open my mouth to speak, but there are no words.
“You’ve been out of town a lot and haven’t been in the office much over the last month. It’s not like we’re trying to keep anything from you. Right, Emmie?” Ava asks me.
“Okay, fine. I’m going to tell you, Jane, but you have to keep your cool. No hunting him down to defend my honor. No telling Tristan. No telling Miles, Ava.” My gaze ping-pongs from Jane to Ava then back to Jane. “I mean it, because we all know how this will end, and the fewer people involved, the easier it will be on me. So, I’m begging both of you to please keep my secret to yourself.”
“Before you tell us, I need to know if you’re going to tell him,” Jane says.
“Him?” I question, raising my eyebrows.
“The father—are you going to tell him you’re pregnant?”
“No. There’s no reason to.” I fiddle with the corner of my napkin as my eyes flick to Ava. She nods and directs her gaze toward Jane.
“His name is Beau Matson. You don’t know him. He owns Jim Matson’s Automotive. He’s the guy who repaired my Jeep and helped me sell the Lexus.” God, this is tearing at my insides. If this were a perfect world, I’d give anything for Beau to be a part of my life and a part of our child’s life, but I’m afraid there won’t be a baby, and that thought shatters my heart into a thousand pieces. A family is all I’ve ever wanted, but I can’t get my hopes up, because it’ll only make the loss so much worse.
Jane’s face is a dark shade of red.
“Breathe, Jane, breathe,” Ava pleads.
“Are you okay?” I ask her.
She inhales a couple times, and finally, her gaze meets mine.
“I know exactly who Beau Matson is.” She stands and moves her chair closer to mine before sitting back down. She raises an eyebrow, leaning in toward me. “The question is… do you really know Beau Matson?”
I laugh loudly before looking over at Ava. “What’s up with her?” Ava shrugs.
“There’s nothing funny about what I’m about to tell you.”
“Okay.”
Jane’s eyes scan the room quickly before bringing her attention back to me.
Now I’m nervous. She looks so serious, and yet Ava looks as confused as I feel. Whatever it is, I have a feeling it’s not going to be good. Dread fills my stomach as I wait for Jane to speak the words that will hopefully be something good and happy, because good and happy are two things I need in my life today.
Jane lets out a long sigh before she speaks. “Have you forgotten about the night at Vic’s Place when you kissed that guy in the hall?”
I nod. “Of course I remember that night. It was our first kiss,” I reply, glancing over at Ava.
“Then I guess you remember our conversation afterward?” Jane asks.
“Vaguely. What does any of this have to do with me being pregnant?” I direct my question to Jane.
“Everything. It has everything to do with you being pregnant,” Jane huffs.
“What are you two talking about?” Ava asks with confusion masking her face.
“I’ll start from the beginning,” Jane informs. “Remember the guy from Luna’s? You know, the sexy, rough around the edges guy in jeans and boots?” This question is directed toward Ava, because I’ve already been down this road with dear ole Jane.
Ava nods and her face flashes with recognition.
My thoughts go back to that day at Luna’s Wine Bar. I remember it, because I was telling them about Andrew and the two of them were checking out the hot guy who was rough around the edges and definitely not my type. They wouldn’t let me look at him. When I left, I caught a glimpse, but it was only his profile.
“You remember, don’t you?” Jane asks Ava.
“That was him, wasn’t it?” Ava questions, her eyes wide with surprise.
Jane nods.
“I thought he looked familiar the day you introduced him to me at the football field.” Ava motions toward me. “I didn’t say anything, because I couldn’t place him, but now….” Her words fade away.
“The first time I saw him was at Luna’s on a Friday afternoon. He was sitting at the bar alone, which I thought was weird, and he was wearing a black leather jacket, faded jeans, and boots. It’s fucking summe
rtime in Texas; give me a damn break. Something’s not right with this guy, and I don’t know why he’s been following you around, but he has,” Jane huffs, looking in my direction. “And what’s worse is I tried to warn you about him after I caught you two in the hall that night at Vic’s Place. I asked you to stay away from him, because I knew something wasn’t right, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it.”
“What do you mean? All you said to me that night was he’d been at the wine bar and then showed up at Vic’s. I still think it was just a coincidence and you’re making something out of nothing.” I squirm in my chair, because I’m having a hard time sitting still. Between the sudden wave of nausea—which I assume is morning sickness rearing its ugly head—and Jane taking her time telling me something terrible, I’m about to lose it.
“What I mean is that your baby’s daddy is a stalker. He’s been following you all over town for weeks—or maybe longer.”
Ava lets out a gasp and then coughs a couple of times before clearing her throat, and then she says, “Just because he’s been at Luna’s when we were there doesn’t mean he’s following her. I think you’re making a big deal out of a situation that’s probably just coincidental.”
I catch myself glancing uneasily over my shoulder. My eyes sweep over the small coffee shop, but there’s no sign of Beau. God, now I’m being paranoid. This has got to be a mistake.
“There’s more,” Jane explains.
“More?” My voice comes out tight and hard.
“The night you kissed him in the hallway at Vic’s Place…”
I nod, encouraging her to continue.
“When Tristan and I dropped you off, he was parked across the street from your house in an old station wagon.”
An uncontrollable laugh escapes my throat as I continue to shift in my chair.
“Jane, I appreciate you looking out for me, but how do you know it was him? That car could have belonged to someone visiting my neighbor. I’m just having a hard time believing Beau has been stalking me.”
“Emmie, I want you to be happy. I want you to meet the perfect man and fall deeply in love and fill your house with as many babies as you want. But this Beau guy—the one you’ve been sneaking around having sex with—he’s no good. For all we know, he may be dangerous.” Jane checks the time on her watch, pushes her chair back, and stands. “I went to his shop and asked him myself. He didn’t admit it, but when I pointed out the car I saw parked in front of your house, the same one that was parked on his lot, he got nervous. Please stay away from him,” Jane pleads, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek. “If you won’t stay away from him for you, then at least do it for the baby.” Jane looks across the table at Ava. “Talk some sense into her, please. I have an appointment in ten minutes, so I’ll see you two at the office.” Jane turns, maneuvers herself through the crowd, and walks out the front door.
Ava’s eyes flick to mine with a concern that scares me.
“Do you believe her?” I ask on a whisper.
“I don’t know. She was rather convincing.” Ava’s phone vibrates on the table. She leans over and glances at the screen.
“I don’t know what to do.” I twist my hands nervously in my lap.
“It’s Miles.” Ava motions toward her phone. “I need to go; he’s almost to the office. He said he needs to talk to me about something. You okay?” Ava slides her chair back and stands.
“Yeah, I’m okay.”
“Don’t worry about all of this. We’ll figure it out. Promise me you’ll take care of you and your baby and forget about Beau, at least for now.” She smiles and squeezes my shoulder gently.
I nod. “See you at the office in a bit, and no worries. I’ll be fine.”
If any of this is true, then it’s my fault. I should have listened to Jane the night she tried to warn me. But I wanted to live and have fun. Which included having sex with Beau—who was possibly stalking me.
Ava slings her purse over her shoulder, smiles, and heads for the exit.
I suck in a deep breath and blow it out. My life has just gone from bad to the worst kind of bad.
23
Beau
“Fuck, you’re in a shittier mood than normal,” Leo barks out from underneath the hood of a car.
I ignore him because it’s the easiest thing to do. The last few weeks have been fucking terrible, and I’m almost to my breaking point.
My mom has been sick and ended up in the hospital for a week. One of us had to be at the hospital with her most of the time, which proved to be difficult, but she’s at home now and feeling much better.
Hannah’s jackass of a boyfriend showed up while Mom was sick and told her his wife found out he was having an affair and threatened to leave him, so he ended their relationship. Hannah swears she had no idea the asshole was married, but she’d been with him for a couple of years and really loved him. I guess Leo pegged the guy right. He always said the guy probably had a wife and family somewhere else.
“We’ve been busy since Hannah started doing all that social media advertising. I would think you’d be happy. If anybody should be moping around here with his lip stuck out, it’s me. At least your girlfriend didn’t fuck some old bald guy and get pregnant.” Leo’s voice pulls me away from my thoughts.
Oh, yeah, and Leo’s girlfriend just found out she’s pregnant with her mother’s ex-boyfriend’s baby.
“I meant to ask you this the other day but was in shock when you mentioned Lydia’s pregnancy. How do you know the baby belongs to…?” I snap my fingers a couple times and tilt my head back, trying to come up with the bald guy’s name.
“Rick. The motherfucker’s name is Rick,” Leo growls.
“Okay, well, how do you know it’s Rick’s baby? I mean, she’s been fucking both of you, so what makes her so sure it’s his?”
“I haven’t fucked her,” he confesses, lifting his head.
“Wait a second—what? You mean to tell me you’d been dating this girl for more than six months and never fucked her?” I stare at my brother in complete shock.
“No, but she gave one hell of a blowjob.” He waggles his eyebrows and ducks back underneath the hood.
He doesn’t care. There’s no sign of him being pissed or upset. He’s just going through every day like nothing ever happened.
“How do you do it, man?” I ask, leaning against the car he’s working on.
“Do what?” He raises his head again and looks at me.
“How do you not care that Lydia was fucking some other guy while the two of you were together?”
Leo shrugs. “I guess I didn’t really care about her as much as I thought I did. If she had been the one—or I guess even close to the one—it would have crushed me, but all I can think about is how I dodged that bullet.” He laughs, tossing a couple tools on the shelf behind us. Then he slams the hood before walking toward the back door. He kicks open the door and says, “I’m taking a smoke break. Be back in five.”
I hate to admit it, even if it’s only to myself, but I’m envious of my brother, of how he was cheated on and broke up with this girl and doesn’t care. I bet he hasn’t lost one minute of sleep over the entire ordeal.
Then there’s me. I huff out a breath and squeeze my eyes closed. I can’t let go of the first woman I’ve had sex with in six months, a woman I have no business even thinking about, much less kissing or touching. A woman who makes me crazy, because she won’t give me a chance to tell her how I feel. I’ve been texting Emmie almost every day since the Saturday we went to Dallas. She responds, but always with short one-liners. I need to see her, need to know she’s okay. I spent weeks and weeks following her around almost daily, making sure she was safe, and then when I was finally able to touch her, hold her, and kiss her, I got spooked and told her I couldn’t be in a relationship with her. Now, after being away from her for so long, I fucking miss her—a lot.
I’ve decided I’m ready—ready to come clean and tell her everything. If she walks away for good,
I’ll figure out how to deal with it, but if she stays, I will do everything in my power to make her happy.
24
Emmie
“There’s something wrong with the baby. I just know it.” I’m whining, but I can’t help it. From day one of this pregnancy, everything has been different. I’m sicker, weaker, moodier, and sleepier than the other three pregnancies combined. I’ve also never carried a baby this long, so every little thing worries me—like the fact that I’m sick almost all day every day. I’ve missed so many days of work that I’ve lost count. Ava leans over and whispers, “There is nothing wrong with your baby. You need to take a couple deep breaths and calm down.”
“Why are you whispering?” I pull my open-to-the-front gown closed and lie back on the exam table. My breathing is a bit fast for my liking, so I do as Ava says and inhale deeply, close my eyes, and exhale. Then I do it again. My body relaxes, but my mind’s still swirling with all the what-ifs.
“Because these walls are thin, and I don’t want anyone listening in on our conversation,” she says, still whispering.
Today is my second appointment with Dr. Richards. I’m starting my thirteenth week, which means I’ve officially made it through the first trimester. I still haven’t told anyone other than Jane and Ava. I know I have to tell Beau; it’s unfair of me to keep this from him and from my family, but I wanted to wait until I heard the baby’s heartbeat before I told anyone else.
I open my eyes and turn my head to the right, looking at my best friend. “Nobody cares what we’re talking about.”
“You’re probably right. I just hate knowing there are people on the other side of these walls that could hear everything we say if they chose to.” She giggles and slides her phone back into her purse then sighs as her gaze meets mine. “I know you don’t want to talk about this today, but when are you going to tell him?”
