I wish I could say I was better, more…more sensitive after that, but it would be a lie. The truth is that the feel of her, the look in her eyes, all that emotional shit I’ve run from for so long all serves to remind me of what I almost lost.
That’s when it starts getting out of hand and I go crazy, pulling back and thrusting to set a rhythm that is punishing and so good I feel my balls tighten in minutes. I want to mark her, show her she’s mine. Own her, I realize.
“Mine.”
I can’t help the snarled litany as Jess goes wild beneath me and we start tearing at each other like animals. I thrust in, she pushes up, our flesh collides with a loud slap as the sex goes from hot to incendiary.
It lasts forever, and yet I feel my climax coming way too soon. Reaching down, I slip my thumb over her wet clit and tongue her mouth, taking her lips as brutally as I take her sex.
When she comes, that wet grip sucking over every inch of me, I can’t hold back anymore. I fill her up, shoot so deep I hear her yell, and come again. It’s never ending, extreme and so good that when it ends finally, all I can do is fall face first into the bed and breathe through the emotions hitting me.
“Trace.”
Her soft whisper, breathless and so hopeful almost sends me into a panic, but I force the fear down and find the strength to turn my head, sighing contentedly at the soft, satiated smile that meets my eyes.
“All in, Jess.”
“All in. If we can get along without killing each other,” she promises, making me growl and pull her giggling ass close.
She doesn’t know it yet, but I’ve just remembered the best way to get this woman to love me again, and I won’t hesitate to use it. Sex. Lots of it. I just hope she never asks for my all because, honestly, as much as I adore and need her, I won’t let myself feel too much again.
I did once, and it almost killed me when I had to make a choice that I’ve regretted for four years.
***
Jess
The humidity in the air is so thick I have to pant in my breaths and just hope that my body acclimates sometime this year.
It’s been a week since I slept with Trace again and, boy, has it been worth every annoying little look the man keeps throwing my way. That twenty bucks I scalped off Lenny and Jericho is so not cutting it, I grumble as I shift my foot a little from my perch on the branches of a tree that I’ve occupied for the last six hours.
South America is great for tourists, the locals, and anyone who enjoys the risk of being carried away by those things masquerading as mosquitos, but it’s murder on a girl whose sole job right now is to keep my scope pointed on the target while I cover the guys’ asses.
Yeah, we came on down here, armed with false information, ready to “deal” with Fazir or Shadow, but the truth is that with everything that’s been happening, what we’re really doing is setting up a hit and miss, a trap to draw them out.
Nick, the diabolical genius, came to us a few days ago with his plan. I have to admit that it’s as great as it is simple. We’re here, muddying the waters a little, before we hightail it back home because, as Nick said, we face them on our turf where we’re stronger, more prepared, and ready to defend what is ours.
“We’re almost in,” Trace whispers over the coms, and I smile, training the scope to stare at his gorgeous ass where he’s crouched and messing with the locks on the back entrance of the villa where Fazir is reported to be hiding.
We all know he’s not here, but like I said, we’re baiting the hook, and once he sees that folder, he’ll come our way. No question about it. And Shadow too, apparently.
“I see you. Nice ass.”
“Keep it clean, Jess,” Nick growls, making me giggle.
“Yeah, yeah. You’re still clear but hurry up. The guards on the east boundary will be changing shift soon and the new ones walk the perimeter every half hour. You got twelve minutes to get in and out before they spot your asses.”
“So shoot them,” King chuckles.
“Sure, before or after they release those lions they call dogs?” I grunt, adjusting the scope and shifting to the left to keep an eye on the four armed guards strutting around with their mutts in tow. “It might be fun, though, to watch you pansies dodge those sharp teeth. You been taking your vitamins lately, Lex baby?”
“Fuck you, sweetheart. I can outrun an Olympian and don’t forget it.”
Storm snarlsquietly, and I watch as Trace cracks the security and inches the back door open before all six men take point, stealthily moving through the place.
When Jericho drops the folder on the coffee table in what I think is the main living room and turns to grin in my direction, I can’t help a chuckle. It’s cut short though when I see movement from the right and spot a shrouded figure creeping toward the door.
“Incoming at two o’clock, Trace. He’s armed and coming in hot,” I hiss, cursing when he moves so fast I can’t get a bead on him.
What feels like an eternity later, and after some seriously weird sounds from the coms, I breathe out a sigh, as I watch them all come out again and run for the southern boundary wall. Storm is over first, then Jericho, Blaze, Lex, and King. Trace comes last, and I almost gasp when I see Jericho grab him and pull an arm around his shoulder, Trace’s left shoulder red with blood.
“Please tell me that is not yours.”
“Bastard was quick and well trained,” Trace grunts. “Stop worrying and move your ass, baby. Get back to the hotel, and I’ll see you there.”
“You want her to kiss your booboo, sweetheart? You need the little lady to make it all better?” Lex taunts, getting a laugh out of us all, even Storm.
“Screw you. At least I got someone to kiss my aches, asshole.”
“Kiss them? You kissing this loser, Jess darlin’? I thought you had better taste than that?” Storm asks, snorting at my giggle.
“Someone’s gotta take pity on the fool. Besides, I kiss more than the booboos. Turn around’s fair play and all that,” I purr, hearing them curse and gag playfully.
“Gross!”
The com bugs out not long after because I’m already down the tree and running for the car hidden away close to the little access road that looks abandoned.
Diving into the driver’s seat of the little beater, I break up my gear and stow it under the seat before cranking the motor and taking off.
It takes me just under two hours to get rid of the gear thanks to a very nice farmer who doesn’t like trespassers on his land and likes free arms—score—and then I’m at the hotel, or what passes for a hotel in these parts, only to discover that the guys are still not back.
I don’t stress though, and at this point I’m still so high on the thrill that I take a shower and crack a Coke before it hits me that they should be back by now.
Like a while ago. Even using the different routes that we plotted out. I start pacing frantically and consider distracting myself with a pair of scissors to do something about the hatchet job that is my hair when the door opens and Storm throws Trace onto the bed.
“Man can’t hold his liquor. He can look like a robot while I dig a bullet out of his shoulder, but liquor puts him on his ass. Pathetic.” He laughs, shaking his head with an amused sneer.
“I know. It’s the reason he doesn’t drink,” I snort, shoving his legs onto the bed, as Storm flops into a seat and grabs a beer from the cooler I’ve been eyeballing the last hour.
Trace snores softly, and I shuffle my feet awkwardly before Storm rolls his eyes and waves at a seat, tossing me a beer as soon as I sit.
“Christ, that was a shit op.”
“Tell me about it. A mosquito the size of a train bit my left ass cheek.”
He snorts a laugh and drinks deeply, resting his hand on his belly, beer bottle aloft as he looks me over.
“I forgot how good you were in hairy situations, sweetheart. Made me damn proud to call you family today, though please stop flirting with the man on the coms, it’s sickening.”
“Shut up. You think I enjoy hearing you and Lenny going at it at night? Nooooo. The walls are way too thin for the crap you growl at her. And that Daddy-little girl fetish you two got going on is just nasty.”
“Screw you lady, my baby likes it.”
“Oh yeah? I didn’t know pregnant chicks were into that. Isn’t she gonna pop soon?”
He tenses and closes his eyes, leaning his head back with a groan.
“Don’t remind me. I read those books and Cleo sent me a link to a video…didn’t know chicks were willing to put that stuff on the net.”
“Birthing videos?”
“If that’s what you bitches call that nasty shit. Christ! If I’d known about that ahead of time…no way, no how will her snatch survive that shit, not with Junior so big already.”
“Oh, come on,” I laugh, taking a drink of cold beer, wincing when he cracks one eye and glares. “It can’t be that bad.”
It is. It really is. I saw Rachel’s birth video and almost asked the doctor if I could have a sex change right there. I want babies, but come on! That is just not right.
“It is, it really is, and she keeps yapping about natural birth and no drugs and, dammit, that’s not right. Can you imagine me listening to my baby scream in pain?”
Honestly, no. I once fell down the stairs, and he carried on as if I were dying for three days. And that was me, not Lenny, the woman he loves more than his own existence.
“It’ll be okay, Nick; it really will because—despite it all—I believe that we all earned our happy endings a long time ago.”
A crock is what that is, but I draw on my own training to make it seem believable. For all I know, we could all die tomorrow and be dumped in unmarked graves.
“What about you? You believe that happy ending drivel?” he asks softly, looking over at Trace and then me. “You ready to stop running now, darlin’?”
“Nick.”
“Nuh-uh. You spent your life with me pining for his ugly ass, so I know that you felt or feel more for the bastard than you’re letting on. Answer me this, Jess, and be honest; how did you feel when you opened your eyes and saw him, alive and well?”
Shit. Poopsticks.
I can’t deny that, in that moment, beyond the anger and betrayal, I was so happy for the first time in years that I could hardly contain it. I’m a liar. I was trained to be a good one, so good that it seems I’ve been lying to myself for a long time.
“You know, part of me knew he wasn’t gone. I’ve held onto anger and grief for so long that I managed to tell myself that it was true, but you know this game, we all know it, and I can’t deny that I was convinced he was gone,” I admit, draining my beer in a few swallows and grabbing another.
Nick smirks and breathes loudly.
“Me either. I was pissed, then sad, then…it was easier to tell myself that he was dead so that I didn’t spend years asking questions. Plus…”
“If he’d wanted to stay, he would have.”
That sucks to think about because all it means is that he was willing to drop us like a bad experience and move on to better and deadlier things. Asshole.
“So, your answer?” he smirks, letting me know that I haven’t gotten away with distracting him fully.
“I…I never completely stopped wanting him, which is terrible, considering that for a long time I really did love you, Nick. I know that sounds unbelievable, but it’s true. You were so easy to love, and you gave me everything I needed.”
“But he was the one,” he says quietly, smiling with so much understanding and acceptance I feel my throat swell with tears.
Don’t cry loser. Tough girls don’t leak.
“He was.”
“And now?”
Ah. The million-dollar question, I think, looking over at Trace ruefully.
“And now…I don’t know. We’re sleeping together again. We have a deal that we’ll date and live together…but…”
“That’s not exactly promising, considering he left you before?” he laughs.
I laugh too and scrunch my nose.
“It’s not like I can take comfort in the ‘Golden Snatch Award,’ dude. He tapped it once and walked away from me, so all I got going for me is the personality, and that bitch needs work.”
Nick doesn’t answer, comment, or in any way respond, just looks at the bed and sighs, settling in for the night. Yeah, I get that because honestly, what can we say?
Trusting Trace isn’t easy. Giving our hearts to him again is even harder. Banking on the truth of his commitment…
He can thank God I’ve always been a risk taker.
Chapter Eleven
Trace
I leave Jess and Nick sleeping where they’re conked out in the uncomfortable-looking seats and slide into the hall, closing the door quietly behind me.
I feel like shit doing this, especially after listening to them talk for hours about me, how they feel, and what life’s been like the last few years. I feel even worse because the longer they talked the more it became clear to me that Jess has been living in stasis this whole time, just waiting for something…
I can’t say for sure what, but I think it may have been one of two things: death or me. Since I was never gonna let anything happen to my girl, it seems the answer is me, and the kicker is that it’s taken me this long to pull my head out of my ass.
Worse, I wouldn’t have done any of this—probably—if not for the fact that those animals I worked for tried to force my hand by giving her up to my enemies.
The plain facts: I wasn’t jumping fast enough for them, and they fed Jess to my targets on a silver platter as a reminder that they own me. Or so they think. As I said, I have everything planned, right down to the fact that Fazir, my old buddy, is already worm food. Well, he’s still alive, but one of my guys, Felon, is taking him out before he even gets anywhere near my family.
You’re shocked? Don’t be. I’m not stupid, and I know that my superiors want him alive because they’re looking for intel. That means he’d be treated like a prince and probably set free at some stage. Not happening.
Plus, well, seeing as I’m defecting and taking my life back, I can really only fight one monster, and that monster is Shadow. Shadow wants something that my family has. Shadow has no compunction about killing everyone just to ensure that its secrets are kept.
Creeping slowly down the hall, I see a lithe feminine shadow melt away from the wall and come closer as I turn the corner, sticking to the shadows.
“Irina.”
Irina is a member of the Harem and a personal friend of mine since I saved her and her cohorts months ago. She’s part of my army, my back-up plan, and I adore her even if she scares the shit out of me sometimes.
“Felon made contact. The rats are moving in, my friend.Time to bait the traps.”
Her husky voice is flat, but I can hear the anticipation in it nevertheless at the prospect of killing men she considers scum. Harem is deadly; its operatives cutthroat and merciless; but the thing that no one ever understood about them is that their targets are and always have been deserving of whatever they get.
“Good, then we’re right on schedule. Tell him not to make a move until Fazir’s people talk. I need to know what it is Shadow wants. Nick has no idea what intel they may have that Shadow wants and neither do the others.”
“Kinsley?”
My grin is wide as I shake my head. Irina’s voice is reverent whenever she speaks of Lex’s sister, and I can’t blame her since the woman has a reputation for being one of the best decoders alive today. Kinsley is a genius and seems to put things together that no one else can.
Scares me some she does, but I hold the same respect for her.
“Still looking through the data, but she hasn’t found anything yet.”
“She will,” the Russian murmurs, her accent going thick.
“Yes, but we can’t afford to wait. I need to get the Fazir thing taken care of, and that lackey of his as well, before those bastards rea
lize my play. You know Shadow won’t hesitate to step in once they know I’m breaking away.”
That earns me a chuckle, and I see Irina’s dark eyes spark with the light of amused anticipation.
“Katya and the girls are still swimming with the sharks my friend. One word from you, and they will unleash on that compound and all who reside there. Shadow does not even understand the danger they have in their midst.”
I nod, grinning right back because she’s right. When I found the Harem and struck my deal with the girls, my superiors were so freaking happy they could have shit bricks. Here they had the world’s deadliest assassins on a leash and they didn’t once hesitate to wield that power.
Here’s the thing though, no one gets the drop on the Harem. I didn’t. No, Harem going in and letting Shadow control them is and always has been a deal that I struck with them. They’re mine, at least for the duration of this operation, and they’re in place to take out all of Shadow if things should go bad.
Like my mom always used to say, it pays to have a plan D, just in case A, B, and C went to shit.
Me, I have this shit sewn up to freaking Z if need be.
“Tell Katya to hold position. We’re heading out in a few hours, and I’ll talk to Kinsley soon. My contact is just waiting for the intel once Kins finds it, and Shadow will be taken out. If they move sooner than expected, you have the green light to take them all out.”
“Good. Be safe, Trace, and tell Jess we’re looking forward to meeting her.”
I nod and laugh because, yeah, that ain’t happening in this lifetime. That woman loves these cold-hearted babes, and I wouldn’t put it past her to go lesbian just to get with her idols.
“Off you go then, lady. I got a family to get back home.”
Irina cackles quietly and saunters off, melting back into the shadows so fast I can’t help but shiver—dangerous women, each and every one.
Once she’s gone, I turn around and smile, taking in Jericho’s mean ass glare, as he leans against the wall, silently watching me.
“Funny thing that conversation, I could have sworn you just spoke to a Harem operative and discussed the annihilation of your team and all involved,” he muses.
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