by Mari Carr
Logan forced himself to look at Lacy and he recognized something that he should have seen right from the start. Something that had been there for years.
Lacy loved him. She had always loved him.
And he’d ignored it. First because she’d been too young and because she’d been Evan’s sister, and then because he’d been in love with Jane. Seeing it now only drove home exactly how high the stakes were.
That realization gave him the strength to say the hardest words he’d ever uttered. “It’s not going to happen, Lacy. Ever.”
Her eyes narrowed with anger and frustration. “Because of that stupid promise?”
He shook his head. He owed her the truth. Total honesty. Even if it did shock her.
His sex drive was too strong for her. And right now, it was on system overload. He’d spent the last few years of his life playing Missionary Man and feeling like an ogre for wanting more. He couldn’t go back to that. Not even for Lacy. He’d explode.
“No. Because I’m not going to lay you down on my bed and make love to you like I’m Prince fucking Charming. If I took you to my bed, I’d fuck you hard, Lacy. Tie you down. Clamp your nipples. Gag you. Spank your ass with my hand, my belt. Take your mouth, your pussy, your ass. I’d make demands I would expect you to obey and if you didn’t, I’d punish you. I couldn’t just love you, Lacy. I’d claim you. Body and soul. That’s what I would want from you.”
Her mouth gaped, but no sound emerged.
“I need to leave, Lacy. Now.”
“But—”
“Have you ever been tied up?”
She shook her head.
“Fucked in the ass?” His question was deliberately crude. He needed to make her see reason.
Again, she shook her head. “But I—”
“You need to get out of this truck while you still can. While I can still let you.”
“Logan—”
“Now!” he shouted.
Lacy jerked at the anger in his voice, then slowly slid across the seat and reached for the door handle. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, no doubt with fear.
Maybe now she’d give up on this schoolgirl crush and turn her attention toward a nice man who could give her everything she needed, who would put her on a pedestal and treat her the way she deserved.
He couldn’t be that man. He had tried for Jane and it had nearly killed him.
She slammed the truck door behind her. Logan started the engine, ignoring the way his hands trembled. He waited until she’d entered her building and then he pulled away from the curb.
In the past, it hadn’t been difficult to say goodbye to her, to watch Lacy walk away. Now, it took every ounce of strength he had not to follow her inside.
* * *
Nine years earlier…
“Y’all played really good tonight,” Lacy said, leaning against Logan’s truck.
Logan lifted an amp and placed it in the truck bed. “Thanks. What are you doing out here?”
“Waiting for my cousin, Paige. She’s my ride. She’s inside flirting with some guy. Thought I’d give her space to work.”
Logan laughed. “That’s real nice of you.”
“Was sweet of y’all to play a song for my birthday.” Lacy hadn’t been able to take her eyes off him all night. She loved watching him knock out a deep beat on the bass.
“Not every day our girl turns eighteen.”
She sighed. The older Logan got, the more he treated her like a kid sister. It was starting to get annoying. “So, I was thinking maybe you could give me my other present.”
Logan’s forehead crinkled. “I’m sorry, Lace, but I didn’t buy you anything.”
She grinned and stepped closer. “No, nothing like that. You said you’d kiss me when I turned eighteen.”
His confusion grew. “I did? When?”
“That day on my back porch when I was crying because Missy had kissed Bucky.”
The light went on. “That’s not exactly what I said.”
“You said you’d kiss me on my eighteenth birthday if nobody else had. Well, I’m here to tell you I’ve been kissed by a bunch of nobodies.”
“Forget it. That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
She crossed her arms. “I don’t want to forget it. You promised.”
“Be reasonable, Lacy.”
“It’s my birthday. Please?”
Logan glanced around the dark parking lot. The community dance had wound down. Most people had gone home, and now there were only a few folks left inside, cleaning up the mess.
“Fine.” He leaned forward and placed a quick buss to her forehead. “There. Happy birthday.”
She lifted one shoulder in a dismissive shrug, not bothering to hide her disappointment. “Whatever, Logan. I was hoping to finally get a kiss from someone who knew what he was doing, but obviously, you’re as clueless as every other guy I’ve ever kissed.”
He moved toward her, caging her against his truck as his hands rested on the roof of the Chevy. “You think taunting me will get you your kiss, little girl?”
She hadn’t really expected it to work until he moved. Now, she wasn’t so sure. “Yeah. I do.”
“Your brother is going to kick my ass for this.”
“I won’t tell,” she whispered a mere second before his lips touched hers.
Lacy didn’t possess blinders when it came to Logan. She had watched him far too closely her entire life. She’d seen him kiss other girls, seen the way he cupped their faces, pulled them close and took control. Hell, she’d seen him do a lot more than kiss them, though she certainly wasn’t going to tell him about that.
He didn’t do any of that with her. The kiss was sweet, gentle, and excruciatingly boring. His tongue touched hers only once, a brief stroke, and then he pushed away.
Then he practically dared her to complain with serious eyes that said she wouldn’t get anything else from him tonight. Her heart refused to add the word “ever” to that thought.
Logan didn’t think she was ready for him. But one day, he would change his mind about that. She’d make sure he did.
Chapter Three
“You look like shit, man.”
Logan glanced up from the paperwork on his desk to find Evan leaning against the doorjamb in his police uniform. He’d been sitting in his office for the past three hours and he’d managed to accomplish nothing.
Instead, he replayed the scene with Lacy from Saturday night over and over, torn between whether he should kick his own ass for kissing her or for driving away without fucking her. Now it was Friday and he was no closer to putting her out of his mind than he had been when he’d climbed into bed that night. He’d been sporting an almost constant erection; his dick pissed at him for denying it the treat of sliding into Lacy’s hot, tight—
He shoved the fantasy away as Evan frowned.
He should not be thinking about fucking Lacy while her brother was there. Shit, he shouldn’t be thinking of fucking her, period.
“I didn’t think you were all that torn up over Jane leaving.”
Mercifully, his friend had misinterpreted his expression. God help him if Evan ever found out what he was really thinking about.
“You should have taken my advice,” Evan continued. “Found yourself a pretty girl and gotten laid Saturday.”
“I’m not ready.”
“Jesus, man. It’s been a year.” Evan leaned forward. “You know there’s a woman out there for you, right? One who is better suited to you than Jane was. She fucked you up, man. Made you think things that aren’t true. There’s nothing wrong with liking your sex rough. Even Annie and I have been known to do some kinky role playing.” Evan wiggled the handcuffs that were hanging from his belt. “These aren’t just for bad guys.”
Logan shrugged. “Spare me the details about your unnaturally happy marriage. You found a good one. And yeah, I know that old adage there’s someone for everyone, so I don’t need the clichés. I’m not pining over Jane. I’m simply
being a realist. The chances of me finding that woman in Maris is…”
Logan’s words drifted away as he struggled to finish a sentence that no longer felt true. So much of his thoughts this week had been consumed by the idea that Lacy actually might be exactly what he was looking for. He shut the idea down when he recalled the look in her eyes as she’d climbed out of his truck.
“You’ll find her,” Evan reassured him. “But hiding in your office isn’t going to help. You haven’t met me for lunch or happy hour once this week.”
He hadn’t met Evan because both of those weekly events took place at Sparks Barbeque. Logan wasn’t ready to see Lacy yet. And he was sure as shit she didn’t want to see him.
“I’m not hiding. I’m just…busy. I’ve got a lot of work piling up. I guess the stress is getting to me.”
Evan accepted the excuse easily. “Busy is a good problem to have. Means money. You’ll come through. You always do.”
“Yeah. Thanks. Hey, did you need something in particular or did you just stop by to nag me?”
He expected Evan to laugh. Instead, the man stepped into the office and plopped down in the chair opposite his, the desk between them. “Actually, I’m on patrol. Thought I’d take a second to stop in and thank you for taking Lacy home the other night.”
Logan swallowed heavily, forcing a casual tone to his voice. “No problem.”
“Did she seem okay to you after the party?”
Logan wasn’t sure how to respond. Did Evan know something? Lacy sure as hell wouldn’t have talked to her brother about what had happened. Had one of her neighbors seen them?
“Yeah. Why?”
Evan shrugged. “She’s been really quiet since then. I thought maybe she was getting sick, but it’s going on too long. She’s got dark circles under her eyes and Macie said she’s been snapping at them at work. You know as well as I do Mary Sunshine is never in a bad mood, so I’m worried. Wondered if she said something to you, if something happened at the bar that pissed her off or if someone bothered her.”
Logan shook his head. “She didn’t say anything. I’m not sure what could have happened,” he lied. He knew what was ailing Lacy. It was the same thing that was making him irritable as fuck.
“Yeah, okay. I might talk to Tyson, see if he can talk her into going in for a checkup. Maybe she does just have a touch of something.”
There wasn’t a damn thing Dr. Sparks could do for her, but Logan nodded as if it was a solid suggestion. He’d avoided the restaurant since Saturday because he suspected he was the last person Lacy wanted to see. As such, he’d holed up here, moving between his apartment upstairs, down to work, and then back again. Unfortunately, he was starting to run low on food. He would have to venture beyond the front door eventually.
Evan’s walkie-talkie crackled. “Guess I better get back out on the road. Call me this weekend if you want to meet up for a couple of beers.”
“Will do.” Logan rose as Evan left, debating what to do now. He hated knowing exactly how much he’d upset Lacy, but he was at a loss over how to help her. The best thing he could do for her was to keep his distance.
His phone beeped and he glanced at the screen to find a text from Lacy.
Coming by in a few. Bringing lunch.
He considered texting back and telling her to stay away. However, as always, his gut overrode his brain when it came to Lacy.
He simply tapped in two letters.
OK
His cock thickened at the thought of her arrival, so he forced himself away from the desk. Time to hit the workshop and start working on a new piece. Hopefully he’d manage to lose himself in the project enough to ward off this fucking erection. His brain needed all the blood it could get if she was coming by to talk.
Work was always a good distraction for him.
Logan closed his eyes and sighed. Work hadn’t distracted him once since Saturday night.
He closed his eyes and recalled his first kiss with Lacy. She’d been eighteen, beautiful, vivacious and just discovering her sexuality. She’d dared him to kiss her and he’d been just weak enough to give in. Somehow, he’d managed to keep the kiss fairly platonic and push her away that night, but it had been a damn close call.
Great. Now, he wasn’t just obsessing over Saturday night, he was recalling things he’d managed—just barely—to forget.
He was fucked.
Lacy stood outside Grady’s Furniture with her bag of takeout and tried to calm down. She’d spent the entire week in a state of constant horniness.
After Logan kicked her out of his truck, she had spent two days in a fury. He’d pushed every hot button in her body, told her in no uncertain terms all the ways he wanted her—ways she wanted to be taken—and then gone into that frustrating, protecting-you-for-your-own-good mode that drove her insane.
He had pissed her off enough that she’d actually decided she was finished with him. She wasn’t going to keep begging the dumbass to acknowledge that she was fucking perfect for him. If he couldn’t figure it out on his own, then screw him.
The anger waned around Monday afternoon, at which point, her hormones kicked back in. She was lightheaded and dizzy from the never-ending, pussy-pulsing arousal she felt every time she thought about Logan’s assertion that he would claim her.
This morning, she managed to fight her way out of the haze of horniness enough to make a plan. Logan thought she was off-limits, thought his needs were too much for her. So she had to find a way to get him to take that first step toward her without feeling guilty about breaking his vow to Evan or fear that he’d hurt her—physically or emotionally.
That thought produced a mental eye roll.
Yeah. Like he’d hurt me in any way I don’t totally want.
Overcoming his reticence was a tall order to fill, but she was determined to make it happen.
A tiny bell rang as she opened the front door. The showroom was empty. Then she heard the buzz of an electric saw from the workroom. Turning, she flipped the sign that hung on the front door that said “Be back in one hour” and locked the bolt.
She made her way around his handmade furniture, mentally reorganizing the place as she went. It was a good thing Logan made such beautiful pieces they sold themselves, because his ability to show them off sucked. It was a damn maze in here. Total chaos.
She paused at the door to the workroom. His back was to her as he guided a piece of wood through the jigsaw. She had never had the opportunity to watch him work. The muscles of his back and arms flexed as he pushed the cedar plank through the blade, moving it in a waving pattern.
Once the cut was complete, he turned the saw off.
“What are you making?”
He turned at the sound of her voice, and then glanced back down at the wood. “A hope chest.”
She lifted the bag she carried. “Lunch. Hope you’re in the mood for barbeque. Haven’t seen you at the restaurant this week, so I figured you were ready for a fix.” Logan usually made it to Sparks Barbeque at least a couple times a week. She’d felt his absence intensely, her gaze traveling to the entrance every single time another patron entered. Searing disappointment followed each arrival when he never bothered to show up.
“I thought you’d prefer some distance from me.”
So, he was going right for the jugular. She was relieved. Lacy didn’t have the patience to pussyfoot around the issue either. “You thought wrong.”
“Lace—”
“No.” She cut him off the second she heard that condescending tone in his voice that made her see red. “Hear me out first.”
He lifted his hand, inviting her to speak. “Fine.”
“I’m off-limits, right?”
He frowned. “What?”
“I’m off-limits. Because I’m Evan’s sister and because you think I can’t handle what you want from me.”
He nodded slowly.
“So we won’t have sex. You can keep your stupid promise to my brother. No bro codes will be broken.
But I want the chance to disprove the second part of your argument.”
Logan crossed his arms. “How do you propose we do that without having sex?”
“For the sake of argument, we’re going to call sex actual penetration. Your dick in my vagina.”
“That’s a pretty narrow interpretation.”
She grinned. “And it leaves plenty of wiggle room…so to speak.”
He shook his head. “Please don’t do this, Lacy. I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“How is this right? You want me and I want you.”
Logan rubbed his forehead, his expression incredulous. “Even after everything I said last weekend?”
“Especially after that.”
He chuckled at her quick response. “God. You’re going to be the death of me. You don’t have a clue what you’re saying. What you’re inviting.”
She scowled. “You’re wrong. I know exactly what I want. And you’re the man to give it to me.”
He didn’t respond, but she didn’t fool herself into believing he was wavering. He wasn’t. The asshole was stubborn. Which sucked for him because she was too.
“I can’t do what you’re asking.”
She took a step closer to him, relieved when Logan didn’t back away. She didn’t fancy the idea of chasing him around the workshop like some lovesick Pepé Le Pew. “Yes. You can. In fact, I think you’re the only man who can give me what I want.”
“You’re too young to know—”
“Finish that statement and I’ll stab you in the heart with that screwdriver over there. I’m twenty-seven, Logan. I’m not a virgin and I’m not stupid. I’ve done my research on BDSM because the idea of it turns me on. A lot. I need someone experienced to teach me about it. Someone I trust.”
Lacy had him on the ropes, so she decided to go for broke. “Besides, Evan made out with your sister the summer after you guys graduated, so we’re entitled to bend the rules a little too.”
“He what? No way.”
“I caught them.”
“That son of a bitch.”
She grinned. “So the bro code has already been broken.”
