by Mari Carr
“Logan,” she gasped as he continued to breach the tight portal.
He captured her gaze and then, with a wink, he pushed the fat end completely inside as her anus clenched around the base.
“Ohmigod.” Once again, he led her through the breathing exercises and then, just like before, he distracted her. This time with the dildo.
He grinned as he rimmed the opening of her body with the toy. “We won’t need lube for this one. You’re soaking wet.”
“You can’t put…”
That was as far as she got before Logan shoved the dildo in to the hilt.
Her back arched off the bed as her second orgasm rumbled along her spine, ravaging her. That orgasm was followed immediately by a third, more powerful one when Logan removed one of the nipple clamps and then the other.
Her cries were hoarse as her body trembled in the aftermath. Logan laved her sensitive nipples with hot, wet, soothing kisses. He’d done no more than push the dildo inside. He hadn’t even fucked her with it. She had come three times tonight and it had only taken him one little thrust to do so.
A trickle of sweat tickled her cheek as it slid along her damp skin. The room had been chilly when they’d first walked in. Now, it was like a sauna, the air thick and humid.
Logan untied her wrists, slowly drawing her arms down as he massaged her shoulders. He had just given her three earth-shattering orgasms. It felt as if she should be the one worshiping at his feet, taking care of him and giving him the moon on a silver platter.
However, it was Logan who gave as she lay there with no more strength than a newborn kitten. He ran his fingers along the valley between her breasts, over her stomach and back to her pussy. Her inner muscles fluttered against the thick plastic as he pulled the dildo out.
When his fingers drifted lower, to the plug, she sucked in a deep breath and held it.
“Ready?”
It was the first time he’d asked permission to do anything tonight. The fact that, ready or not, the damn big thing needed to come out, wasn’t lost on her.
Logan placed a quick kiss on her cheek as he gripped the base of the plug and pulled it free. She closed her eyes tightly as the thickest part passed, sighing in relief—and disappointment—as he dropped it to the floor by the bed.
She felt…empty.
“That was…” Lacy couldn’t find the words.
Logan simply nodded, looking at her so intently she had to fight the urge to glance away. He could see too much and she didn’t have the strength to hide, to shelter her emotions.
“You’re incredible, Lacy.”
She closed her eyes and pretended there wasn’t going to be a “but” added to the end of that statement. She could read him too. Whatever he’d just seen in her face—and she was pretty sure it was pure, unadulterated, undying love—had helped him batten down his hatches.
He was going to break her heart.
“We can’t do this again.”
She tried to push herself upright, but her arms were still weak so it took some effort. “Why not?”
“You’ve had a crush on me since you were a kid.”
She blushed and glanced down. “I wasn’t sure you knew that.”
He cupped her cheek, forcing her gaze to meet his. “It was pretty hard to miss. I didn’t know you knew about Yvette, that you’d followed us. God, Lacy. How much of what you’re feeling right now is based on what you know about me and my needs? How do you know this is really what you want?”
She scowled. “Um…maybe because I’m a fucking adult and I know what I like.”
“Jane pretended she liked BDSM at first too. We fell in love with each other and when those emotions were new it was easy for her to go along with my desires because she wanted to make me happy. In the end, she wound up resenting me for what I wanted.”
“I’m not pretending.”
“How can you be sure?”
She snapped. Her temper flaring red-hot. “I can!”
“I don’t want to hurt you. You’re the last person on earth I’d ever want to hurt.”
The anger that had flashed dissolved into heartbreak. “You’re hurting me now.”
“And that’s why I need to leave.”
* * *
Fourteen years earlier…
“I think it’s on the back porch,” Evan yelled from the kitchen.
Lacy glanced up, surprised when Logan stepped outside. She turned her head away from him quickly, not wanting him to see her cry. She’d had a crush on Logan her entire life, so it was just her luck he’d show up and catch her ugly crying.
“Hey, Lace.” He walked over to retrieve a cooler. Logan and Evan were going camping with a bunch of their friends for the weekend. Needless to say, once again, she had been deemed too young to tag along.
“Hey,” she said, not looking his direction.
She was used to being invisible to her brother’s friends. They were eight years older and there was precious little a gang of twenty-somethings had in common with a thirteen-year-old. So she hadn’t expected Logan to walk over to where she was slowly rocking on her mom’s loveseat glider.
“You crying?”
She shook her head, refusing to face him. Of course, she didn’t help her lie by reaching up to wipe away her tears.
“What’s wrong?”
“Missy Martin kissed Bucky Largent.”
“Oh. And you like Bucky?”
Lacy crinkled her nose in disgust as she looked at Logan. “Eww. No. Gross.”
“You like Missy?”
She rolled her eyes. “No. But now I’m the only girl in my class who hasn’t kissed a boy.”
Logan chuckled. She expected him to walk away, as he clearly didn’t find her reason for crying very important.
Once again, he did the unexpected. He put the cooler down and sat next to her on the loveseat. “I wouldn’t worry about that too much. You’re going to kiss lots of guys in your life. Doesn’t matter if you’re last or not.”
“Nobody likes me like that.”
“They will.”
Lacy had her doubts. The boys in her class tended to flock toward the girls with the big boobs. Hers had yet to make an appearance. “Pretty sure I’m going to die alone.”
Logan laughed and stood up. “Tell you what. If nobody’s kissed you by the time you’re eighteen, I’ll kiss you.” With that, he picked up the cooler and headed back into the house, while Lacy did some math.
In five years, Logan Grady was going to kiss her. Lacy had waited this long. She could wait five more years.
Chapter Six
Macie stood with her hands on her hips. “Alright. Let’s have it.”
Lacy looked at her cousin, wondering what she’d forgotten. “Have what?”
“Who is he?”
Lacy bit her lower lip, especially when Evan’s head popped up as he dipped one of his fries in ketchup.
“He?” Evan asked.
Lacy shook her head and fought like the devil not to cry. “There is no he.”
She was able to say the words with confidence because they were true. Logan hadn’t returned a single one of her calls in five days and, despite her efforts to get him alone, the man somehow always managed to have customers in his shop.
She’d stopped by his place after hours the last two nights, but he either wasn’t in or he wasn’t answering the door.
He had told her when he left Friday that it was over. He’d blown her world away with his clamps, plug and dildo. Given her the greatest sexual experience of her life and then, at the end, he’d simply walked away.
Once he said he was leaving, she hadn’t bothered to beg or plead. One look at his determined face told her all she needed to know. He wouldn’t be swayed.
As a result, he’d left her with a big freaking hole in her chest where he had ripped her heart out.
“There’s no one.”
Her cousin studied her face too closely for Lacy’s comfort, so she worked hard to keep her expression
impassive.
“Only guy troubles would explain your behavior the last few weeks.”
Lacy rolled her eyes. “I’m behaving like I always do.”
Macie made an annoying buzzer sound, as if Lacy had given the wrong answer on a game show. “Nope. You’ve been all over the charts. Testy as hell one day, then the next you’re walking on air. Spent the better part of a week yelling your name until you finally managed to pull your head out of your daydreaming ass long enough to answer me. During that phase, I had to brush my teeth twelve times a day while trying not to get a toothache looking at that sappy, sweet, can’t-wipe-the-grin-off-your-face look. Now you’ve spent the last few days moping around here like you lost your best friend. If that’s not some man fucking with your head, then I don’t know what else it could be. You’ve got all the classic symptoms.”
“Lace?” Evan asked. She hated seeing the worry in his eyes.
“No one is jerking me around, Evan.” Logan had been a straight shooter from the start, telling her they could only have a short-lived affair. She was the one who’d pushed for more than he was willing to give.
Her brother nodded and she was relieved that he appeared to accept her words. “Maybe what you have is catching.”
“What do you mean?”
“Logan’s down in the dumps too.”
Lacy was very careful not to look too interested in that tidbit, but Macie picked it up like it was a hundred dollar bill on the ground. “Really?”
Though she was responding to Evan’s comment, Macie’s gaze had zoomed in on Lacy—big time. The last thing she needed was for Macie to put two and two together. That wouldn’t be good for anyone.
Lacy needed to get out of here. Her head was pounding, her throat closing and she was in serious danger of falling apart in the middle of the restaurant.
“Listen, Mace. Things are slow around here tonight. Do you mind covering for me? I’ve got a wicked headache.”
Macie nodded slowly, still studying her face too intently. “Sure. If things get busy, I’ll call Gia or Adele to come in and help out.”
“Thanks.” Lacy grabbed her purse from the storage closet then gave Evan a quick kiss on the cheek on her way out.
“You’re sure you’re okay?”
She nodded. “Pinkie swear.”
He smiled and said goodbye.
Lacy waved then rushed outside. Glancing toward the sky, she saw a dark cloud forming in the distance. Looked like they were in for a storm tonight. Strangely, Lacy found some comfort in that thought. She wasn’t in the mood for sunshine.
Besides, maybe a good old-fashioned, noisy thunderstorm would drown out her crying. Because she had every intention of throwing one hell of a temper tantrum the second she got home. For days, she’d walked around in a haze of pent-up sorrow. She’d held her depression in, afraid to let it out. Now her skin felt as if it would crack from the pressure.
She stared at her feet as she pounded the pavement, walking the five blocks from the restaurant to her apartment in record time. She’d been so focused on the ground, she hadn’t noticed Logan’s truck parked on the street out front until she’d passed it. Then she glanced from the vehicle to the door.
Logan sat on the front stoop, his face stoic, unemotional. She hated the way he could tuck away his feelings so easily. It took all the strength she had not to go over and punch him in the stomach the way he had Bucky.
She felt a tear slide down her cheek, but she didn’t bother to dash it away. Ordinarily, she’d rather eat dirt than let someone see her cry. That didn’t apply this time. She wanted Logan to see her pain, to understand exactly how bad he’d hurt her.
Logan stood as she approached him. “Lacy.”
She simply stared at him as another tear fell. She was unable to speak, too afraid she’d rain down a torrent of horrible words on his head.
“Please don’t cry.”
Her jaw tightened, her teeth clenched. It was on the tip of her tongue to scream the words “Fuck you!” He didn’t get to tell her what to do. How to feel. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m going to break my promise to Evan.”
She frowned. “What?”
“Get upstairs.”
Her body responded before her brain could engage. She started upstairs. She hesitated briefly, but Logan was there, urging her to keep moving.
Lacy’s tears evaporated, her head whirling over what he’d said.
Broken promise.
She allowed him to propel her forward as she struggled to figure out what the hell was going on. Why was he here? Was he collecting on the last night? Did he still intend for this to be the end? Maybe his hormones had finally gotten the better of him.
God knew she’d been fighting some seriously hardcore sexual needs, employing her vibrator far more than was probably healthy. What was worse was the whole time she sought to assuage her needs, her heart was shattered. She missed him even as she cursed his name, and then screamed it during her self-inflicted orgasms.
She was a fucking mess.
If he’d simply come here to use her for sex, she’d…what?
Kick him out?
She wouldn’t do that. All he’d had to do was tell her to move and she was all but running to her bedroom. She should hate him for that.
Or maybe she should hate herself.
Once she unlocked her door and entered, Logan was right behind her.
“Bedroom.”
“Logan—”
“We’re going to talk, Lace. We’re going to say every single fucking thing that needs to be said. I promise. But if I’m not inside you in the next five minutes, I can’t be held responsible for my own actions.”
Every ounce of pain she’d felt in the past five days vanished. She wasn’t going to let him leave again without that conversation. But he was right. The physical aches needed to be quenched first or she wouldn’t be able to say anything coherent.
“Fine.” She grabbed his hand and led him to her bedroom quickly. It sounded as if he had turned the corner on whatever had been holding him back.
At least she hoped he had.
If not, she was making the mother of all mistakes.
Not that it mattered. She was diving into this fire feet first, aching for the burn, because as much as her heart ached, her body was currently suffering more.
As they entered the room, she lost no time. She turned to face him and unbuckled his belt, her fingers grazing his erection as she worked. He was rock hard. How long had he been suffering with that condition? The petty part of her that was still pissed he’d made her wait hoped it had been a while.
She unbuttoned his jeans, slid the zipper down, wrapped her hands around his cock and stroked it slowly. She shuddered as she considered how full she would feel with him inside her.
“I want you so much, Lace.”
She smiled and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “I’m right here.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “For the way things ended last time.”
He had promised her they would talk. After. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. “It’s okay.”
He shook his head as if to disagree, so she forced him to look at her. His apology had gone a long way toward soothing her anger, her pain. So had the fact he’d shown up here tonight. They would discuss whatever had compelled him to leave, but not right now.
“I mean it. It’s okay.”
Logan gripped her cheeks in his large palms and gave her a kiss so passionate it took her breath away. This was what she’d hoped for on her eighteen birthday. There was nothing on earth so magical as being kissed by someone who clearly adored you.
“God, I missed you.”
She grinned at his confession. “Ditto.”
He was obviously trying to hold back, giving her the chance to tell him to take a hike.
“It’s time.”
His jeans hung on his hips, so he reached back, trying to dig out his wallet. Lacy gripped his upper arm t
o stop him.
“Don’t. I’m on the Pill.”
“Lacy—”
She pressed her cheek against his. “Please. I want you to come inside me.”
He didn’t respond for several moments. Then he cupped her cheek affectionately. “I find it impossible to say no to you.”
She laughed softly. “That’s good. That’s very good. Hold on to that thought and we’ll always be happy.”
He twisted her away from him with one quick motion and swatted her ass. “Minx.”
“Wait,” she said, unfastening her own pants. “Let me get these silly jeans out of the way and you can try that again properly.”
“If I wasn’t in agony, I’d gag you for trying to run the show, but as it is…”
Together, they got each other out of their clothing. When Lacy climbed onto the mattress, Logan was right there behind her.
She turned, lying down on her back as he came over her.
Her legs were parted in invitation and Logan took no time accepting. He placed the head of this dick against her pussy and pushed in. One hard, deep thrust.
Lacy gasped, her fingers gripping his arms. Her pussy muscles tightened around him. Her head swam. She was close. Again. It typically took her ages to reach her orgasms, but Logan found them within seconds.
He hadn’t sought to move. Instead, he remained buried deep. When he lifted his face to look at her, she was blinded by the emotion she saw there.
He loved her. Thank God.
He loved her.
“Logan,” she whispered. “I’m not afraid. I’m yours.”
Her words set him free. After that, any semblance of control vanished. They came at each other like animals in heat, taking what they wanted with a ferocity that should have been painful. Hell, it was.
Logan beat a power rhythm inside her, crashing up and down like a jackhammer as she cried out. She came, but Logan never stopped moving.
Then she pressed on his shoulder, forcing him to his back as she straddled his hips. Lacy rode his cock like it was a stallion as he kept hold of her hips, pounding her against him roughly.
