Miss Clara Whitney disliked corsets. She could make her lilting drawl disappear into minced, born-in-the-purple English at the drop of a coin. Her opinions were her own. She wasn’t vapid, vain, or spoiled like so many ladies of the fashionable set. She was intelligent and witty, quick-tongued and passionate. She liked reading but disliked playing the piano and she’d never even bothered to attempt sketching with charcoals or painting watercolors. Her opinion of England could be summed up in one word: dreary. Her opinion of the Upper Ten Thousand could be summed up in a singularly succinct manner: absurd.
Over the course of the fortnight he’d been playing the role of dutiful, proper suitor, Julian had come to know a great deal about his future countess. Some of the facets of her character had been revealed unintentionally, others had been freely shared during the rare moments when they’d been able to speak with candor.
Walking in the park was one such particular boon, as he’d been able to lead her a safe distance from her stepmama. Her gloved hand rested lightly in the crook of his elbow. The scent of her washed over him, warm and glorious. He didn’t even give a damn at the moment that public walks in the park beneath a hundred other watchful stares were the sort of thing he hated. Devil take it all, he was actually enjoying himself. Not a drop of liquor coursed through his veins, and he was properly clothed, and yes, somehow he was having a damn fine time of sporting Clara on his arm. Ah, irony.
“Women ought to be afforded the right to vote,” Clara declared to him now, keeping her voice low as she turned to him, eyes flashing with the brilliance of her devotion to her subject. “Why should it be denied us? Your very sovereign is a woman, and yet every other woman in the land is denied the opportunity to allow her voice to be heard. How can it be that one woman can rule and the rest must relegate themselves to tittering in drawing rooms and accepting their husbands as their betters?”
Well damn it, how did he answer such a question? She was perfectly correct. He was ashamed to admit he’d never once given the matter much of his time or attention. Julian stood there in the park on an overcast, dreary day, on a gravel path he’d trod hundreds of times before. And for the first time, he realized what a conceited, selfish prick he’d been his whole life.
“That is the way of things,” he offered at last, lacking for a better answer. In truth, there was no answer, at least not one that made a whit of sense. “You’re young. You need more time to become suitably jaded and indifferent.”
“I’m twenty, my lord. Not so very young and naïve, I think, to wonder why it must be so.” She turned to him, her convictions bringing vivacity to her lovely face. “It seems to me that the only sex who benefits from keeping women from having a political voice is men. Where is the science that says a woman is not every bit as capable of careful thought as man?”
“I admit I’m not a man of science,” he said wryly. “But I daresay no such science exists.”
How had he ever thought her naïve? Perhaps she was, when it came to matters of the bedchamber, but that would be easily rectified. Her mind was sharp and vital, capable of being clever or cutting. He found her freedom of expression refreshing. This was not a woman who fretted over nothing more significant than choosing a ball gown. The woman before him was intelligent, and she wasn’t afraid who knew it.
“Of course it doesn’t exist.” She shook her head with so much fervor that she almost knocked her elaborate hat off its dainty perch atop her golden curls. “We are all merely people. Regardless of where we were born, who our parents are, whether we are male or female, we’re all equals because we are all the same. It is only the ancient trappings of society that force us to believe anything different.”
How refreshing to hear her overturn the world in which he’d lived his entire life. It was all nonsense, from the trimmings of polite society to the laws that led the land. It was outmoded, antiquated, foolish and shortsighted. The world needed more Claras to upend it, by God.
“I agree with you.” He covered her hand with his for just a moment.
“You do?” She turned to him, clearly having been expecting an argument from him.
She’d not garner one.
“Is it so surprising that I can be swayed by logic? I’ll own that I’ve never given the injustice of it a second thought until now. But alas, ours is a world of vile hypocrites, darling. We must all behave properly in public, obey the tenets of polite society to the absolute letter, and yet behind closed doors, we’re all just a hodgepodge of sinners and reprobates. One need only look around to see hypocrisy in action. There is Lady Darlington, speaking politely with Lord Ryland as though they are strangers, when her last daughter was sired by Ryland. She hasn’t shared a bed with her husband in half a dozen years or more.”
“Six years?” Clara’s winged brow rose. “How can you know for certain?”
He knew because he’d been one of Lady Ryland’s first lovers after her husband had installed a famous opera singer in a house in St. John’s Wood. He met Clara’s inquiring stare, choosing not to lie to her. “How do you think I know, little dove?”
She appeared to take his admission in stride, her only betrayal of emotion a small swallow evident at the hollow of her throat. “I see. The Duchess of Argylle is not alone in the legions of your many admirers.”
Lottie’s name uttered in Clara’s mellifluous voice somehow didn’t seem right. The two women couldn’t be more different from each other. “The duchess is not an admirer, of that I can assure you.”
She’d made her opinion of him as clear as possible. He’d been nothing more to her than a source of entertainment and pleasure. She didn’t wish to be encumbered by the demands of one man. He could still recall their parting, how she’d attempted to press some notes into his hand. Payment for services rendered. But how could he fault her? He had fashioned himself a whore, and it was a role he’d learned well. He was the one who had erred in thinking their arrangement was different, that it had meant something more. He hadn’t accepted a pound from Lottie that day, and he never would. He’d bloody well starve in a beggar’s prison first.
“I wouldn’t be so certain, my lord.” Clara studied him, and he couldn’t shake the impression she saw more than he would have preferred. “She paid me a call, and she was most adamant that I run far, far away from your evil designs upon my person.”
He’d known Lottie had a vicious streak, but he hadn’t realized she’d stoop so low as to meddle in his personal affairs now. Damn her. She didn’t have a right to make him susceptible to her games any longer. “Dare I hope you made good on your poorly disguised threat to use her in a demonstration of your marksmanship?” he quipped with a lightness he didn’t feel. He hoped to keep their conversation away from the darkness that Lottie inevitably stirred within him.
“If she seeks me out again, I cannot promise that I won’t,” Clara returned. “I don’t like her. Others may be dazzled by her beauty, but I can see plainly through it to the ugliness she hides within.”
“She won’t seek you out again.” Suddenly, the pleasure he’d felt at being out of doors with Clara on his arm fled. Grim determination settled over him, icy and familiar. His past sins were never far from his heels, nor were their consequences. “I’ll make certain of it.”
“I can protect myself against her kind, my lord. I’m merely warning you so that you’re well-armed when I’ve returned to Virginia.” She smiled sweetly at him, but there was a wistful glint in her gaze that belied her apparent cheer. “I wouldn’t wish you to fall prey to a woman like her again.”
When I’ve returned to Virginia. Her innocent belief that such an event would occur needled his conscience. By God, he was startled to find it resurrected these days. But there it was, the nagging stab of guilt at misleading her. She would be furious with him, of that he had no doubt. He remained, however, his father’s son, which meant he was a selfish bastard.
“Although I do take umbrage at the notion of myself as any woman’s prey, I must ask why not, Miss Whitn
ey?” he couldn’t resist querying, allowing his eyes to travel over the soft, lovely planes of her face. If he’d had an artist’s hand, he would have longed to paint her, to capture all that vivacity and passion in bold strokes on a canvas.
“Because I’ve begun to like you, Lord Ravenscroft.” Her eyes widened as though she’d surprised even herself with her admission. “There, I’ve said it.”
He couldn’t stifle a smile, and he didn’t give a damn that at least half a dozen notorious gossips watched him, remarking upon his every expression. There was something freeing about the truth, after all. He kept his gaze pinned to Clara, the petite, complex firebrand who possessed a sharp mind, a bold tongue, and who’d had the innocent audacity to accost him in his own study. “Strange, that, for I find I’ve rather begun to like you as well, little dove.”
The flush that tinged her cheekbones was the only answer he required.
Clara awoke to a nearly cloudless, fogless London sky. She stood by the window of her bedchamber, sipping her coffee as she’d done each morning since moving to London, and watched the parade of carriages on the street below. It was somehow fitting that her last day beneath this roof—one of her very last in England—was the most unsullied she’d ever witnessed. Why, one could almost find beauty in the grand homes parked along the road, the gleaming carriages and pristine horses, the poised and polished clamor of polite society thronging all around.
“Almost,” she repeated to herself before drawing the window dressing closed. For if one looked carefully enough, stripping away the gilding, one could see that the rare world of London’s aristocrats was not all it seemed.
She thought of Ravenscroft’s revelations to her the day before on their walk. Of course she shouldn’t be surprised that he’d taken married women as his lovers. She’d known as much before she’d ever confronted him with her plan. Somehow, hearing it from his lips rendered it different, however. Those lips had kissed hers. And though theirs would be a marriage in name only and for a short duration, she was to be his wife. There was a sense of intimacy involved now that she hadn’t anticipated.
Perhaps that explained her extreme dislike of the Duchess of Argylle. She’d never admit it to a soul, but knowing that the earl had been taken in by that dreadful woman’s charms irked her to no end. She’d dearly like to see her at the receiving end of one of Bo’s notorious jokes. The thought of a saucer of ink dropping into the duchess’s hair and dripping down her lovely face held infinite appeal.
A quiet knock at her door startled her out of the wicked reverie. “You may enter,” she called. She’d been dressed for ages, had simply been in a contemplative and somber mood, her mind sifting over the choices she’d made and the actions she’d need to take in the days ahead.
She was startled to find her father opening the door and crossing the threshold. He’d spoken little to her in the last fortnight of her whirlwind courtship with the earl, and he appeared as grim as she’d ever seen him now. Her heart gave a great pang of regret for her subterfuge.
Although her father was sometimes overbearing and misguided, she did love him. There’d been a time when he had been a stranger to her, and she’d been a young girl adrift, having just lost her mother. He had been kind and patient, enduring her confusion and her rebellion with a grace she had not expected or deserved.
“Father.” She placed her coffee on the escritoire and met him halfway across the chamber, embracing him and eschewing convention in the same way he had with his unannounced visit. She buried her face against his broad chest and inhaled deeply of his familiar scent.
He was slower to embrace her, but at last his arms came around her tightly, and he pressed his face to the arrangement her lady’s maid had taken care to artfully style earlier. “Clara, darlin’.” There was an unmistakable thickness to his deep voice. “Are you certain? You don’t have to marry him, by God. I don’t want you to marry him.”
The only thing she was certain of was that the more time she spent in the earl’s presence, the more she doubted everything. For she was coming to believe more and more that he wasn’t entirely as he seemed. He was beautiful, yes, and unrepentant to be sure. He was a voluptuary, of course, and he had bedded more women than she cared to know about or count. He was the sum of his reputation and then some.
But then there was the earl she’d glimpsed during his courtship. That Ravenscroft was odd and witty and sometimes funny, sometimes wicked, but he was also kind. He listened to her when she spoke, and not just in the way some of her suitors had, gentlemen who’d listened with half an ear only to prattle on about their own accomplishments and beliefs. He heard her, and he didn’t attempt to belittle her or talk over her for beliefs that ran counter to society’s whims. His intelligence simultaneously alarmed and delighted her. She wasn’t sure she could trust him or herself in his presence, for that matter.
“I’m staying the course,” she told him softly, for she had no other option. “I want to marry the earl.”
Lord in heaven, that wasn’t entirely a prevarication, either. There would be some satisfaction in seeing the expression on the Duchess of Argylle’s face when and if next they crossed paths before she left for Virginia. Surely that was the sole impetus for such an irrational feeling.
“Ah, you are your mother’s daughter, willful and proud to the end.”
A grudging tone of admiration marked her father’s words. Clara’s mother had kept her existence from Father—and likewise had kept the truth from Clara as well—until she’d been on her deathbed. It had been a shock to discover the man she’d believed to be her father had not been her father at all. In the span of a week, Clara had been introduced to Jesse Whitney and had buried her mother. She’d struggled in the years since to forgive her mother for the wrongs she had committed, just as she’d struggled to fit into a world and a society that was utterly foreign to her. England simply was not and would never be home.
“I don’t like to compare myself to her. She had many sins I haven’t forgotten.” Clara stepped back from her father’s embrace and knew a moment of clarity as she met his eyes. Yes, she was very much like her mother after all, wasn’t she? Lying to preserve her own aims. When had she become so much like the woman she’d spent the past five years resenting?
“She was your mother,” her father said gently, his eyes glossier than usual. “She gave me you, and for that gift I’ll be forever grateful to her.”
Clara swallowed. Lord in heaven, she should just confess all to him now. Tell him the truth, wait for the anger she deserved. Could she have returned to Virginia by other means? Could she have convinced him to let her go, to grant her the marriage settlement free and clear, hers to use as she wished back home to aid her cause of gaining the vote?
“I’m not a good daughter.” The words escaped her in a rush. “I’ve not been kind to you or to Lady Bella. I don’t know how to be the daughter you both deserve, but you have Virginia, and I can only hope that my little sister will be a far better woman than I could ever hope to be.”
“You are a fine daughter,” her father corrected her, understanding and sweet now that the dye had been cast. This softer, gentler version of her father would perhaps have agreed to her wishes to return to Virginia, she thought. “A man could not ask for better.”
“Father,” she began, the remnants of what she needed to say lingering on her tongue.
“Lady Bella and I have happy news,” her father said at practically the same time, quashing any hope she’d entertained, however fleetingly, of unburdening herself.
“Happy news?” But of course she could already tell from the smile transforming his face just what that news was.
“Another little sister or brother for you, Clara,” he confirmed, grinning with pure happiness. “Lady Bella didn’t want me to tell you until after the wedding, but I couldn’t wait another moment. I’m so damn happy, sweetheart, so happy that my heart is near bursting with it. I want you to experience the same happiness for yourself. That is why
I want you to rethink this hasty wedding to Ravenscroft. I’d hoped that this fortnight would prove to you that your feelings for him were a fleeting fancy. I wanted to believe that you’d call this nonsense off and find a man who deserves you.”
What could she say to that? She swallowed, tamping down the tears that threatened her vision. “I deserve a chance to be happy,” she said honestly, “and I do think I’ve found that, Father.”
lara stared at the carriage awaiting her, the knot of dread within her growing ever more intricate and insistent. Beyond, the standard bustle of the outdoors was as familiar as ever. Carriages, horses, clattering, thumping, creaking, a cacophony of smells and sounds. The London fog had decided to reassert itself with a sudden vengeance, and it cloaked the tops of the elegant mansions lining the street and fell about everyone’s shoulders like a cloying ghost that couldn’t be escaped.
Her fingers tightened on the earl’s arm as they stopped to say their formal goodbyes. Impossible to believe that she was now this notorious, handsome man’s wife. That he was her husband. That they were well and truly…
Married.
There. She’d thought it, a small word for such a frightening state. Clara experienced none of the joy that a new bride must ordinarily feel. Instead, she felt the heavy weight of the band he had slid upon her finger as though it were a manacle. She had bound herself to a stranger. The vows they’d spoken had not seemed as impermanent as she’d expected them to, and there was no denying the fact that she was now, in the eyes of God and man, the Countess of Ravenscroft.
The wedding breakfast had been a truly somber affair. Her father had worn an expression akin to a man attending the funeral of a loved one. Her stepmother had been dreadfully ill, sitting at the table ashen-faced, pushing about her food with her fork without actually eating a morsel of it. Lord and Lady Thornton, the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire, Mr. and Mrs. Levi Storm, and Lady Bo were in attendance as well, in an assortment of London friends and family. They’d all done an admirable job of feigning ignorance and promoting a false sense of cheer.
Restless Rake (Heart's Temptation Book 5) Page 10
