He sighed and looked away from me, his face looking disgusted with himself and his grip on me getting even harder. “She was the only one left in the nest when we found it. Ben and I kept her cornered for hours, but she still wouldn’t tell me anything. Then I took a silver stake and drug it over her skin. She screamed…” He closed his eyes and bit his lip again, again piercing the flesh and causing a trail of blood to roll off him. His lip healed immediately, right before my eyes.
He opened his eyes, shaking his head. “I can still hear the screams…” He swallowed, a tear rolling off his cheek and dropping down his chin to follow the trail of blood. “I pierced her skin and told her I would shove it through her chest if she didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear.”
He dropped his tight grasp on my wrists and I inhaled a quick breath at the feeling of blood returning to my hands. He dropped his head into his. Between his fingers, he mumbled, “She still wouldn’t tell me. She said she’d rather die, than give up…her mate.”
He sobbed and I relaxed on his lap, my hands again going around his body, drawing him into me. I tried to shush him, but he shook his head and peeked up at me. “God, I almost killed her, Emma, and she was only trying to protect…” his eyes searched mine again, “well…her version of you.” His hands came out to my face, cupping my cheeks as another sob broke him down. “She was protecting him…from another madman.” He raised his eyebrows and shook his head. “Only this time, it was me.”
I rested my head against his. “Baby…”
He shook his forehead against mine. “I don’t know who I am anymore, Emma.” He crumpled in my arms, his head going down to rest on my stomach as he cried. “I don’t know what I’m capable of anymore…what lengths I’d go to, to protect you.” He peered up at me. “If Great-Gran hadn’t…” He swallowed and brought his hands around me, nestling his head into my abdomen. “Oh, god, Emma, I can’t do this anymore. This isn’t me. I’m not being me…”
He sobbed more, and I exhaled brokenly as tears coursed down my cheeks. I whispered his name and laid my head on his back, trying to be as comforting as I could.
He shifted and looked up at me, his face panicked. “I’m so scared, Emma. I don’t know what to do. You’re dying, they’re dying, and I don’t know what to do.” His voice tore me and I swallowed back the grief welling in me. His hands came up to grasp my face again. “What do I do? Tell me what to do.” His eyes searched mine, pleading.
Absorbing the smell of him, absorbing the sense of him, absorbing the undeniable love between us, I closed my eyes. Knowing this was no way to live, for either of us, I made a choice. It was the hardest choice of my life, but it was the only choice left to us. He couldn’t continue on this path he’d started. He was right, that path would lead him to be the same sort of madman that had kidnapped and tortured us. I could see it - I could see pain and fear, leading him that way. He had to stop this madness. He had to accept that there was nothing we could do…but have faith.
I opened my eyes, placing my palms against his cheeks. “You stop, Teren. You stay here with me…and you stop.”
He cocked his head, looking about to protest and I shook mine. “No, I know. I may die. They may die, but…” I bit my lip and shook my head. “I can’t let you become…this, to try and save me.” I lightly kissed him and whispered, “It’s not worth it. I’m not worth it.” He pulled back and sputtered and I shook my head again. “If this is all we get, Teren, then don’t waste a second with me.” I rested my head against his. “You promised me that you would spend every second we had, trying to make me happy.” I indicated the emotional wreckage that was him. “This isn’t making me happy. Spend every moment you can with me, with us, and then, if the fates decide my time is done…then you love me, and remember me with good memories, for the rest of your eternal life.”
I pulled back, tears dropping to my cheeks. “That - that is what you can do.”
He opened and closed his mouth several times. Then he closed it and stared at me. I felt his body calming as he did. I felt my body calming, my heart returning to its normal, steady beat. His eyes never leaving mine, he quietly whispered, “I love you. I’ll always love you.”
I nodded and hugged him tight.
We shucked off our clothes, me uselessly examining every square inch of him for injuries. I knew I wouldn’t find any, and he knew I wouldn’t find any, but I had to see for myself and he let me, standing still with his head down. His face was…glum, but once I had him slipped under the covers with me, I did my best to make him feel better, if only for a moment.
He fell asleep afterwards, his breath stopping, his face stilling, all emotion momentarily sliding away from him. I kissed his forehead, grateful that he could find peace somewhere, even if it was just in slumber. I watched him for hours, not wanting to fall into sleep or leave his side. Just wanting to be near him, to cherish every second we had.
My hand was gently rubbing his still back when I felt Alanna approaching. I knew from the strong rays seeping through the cracks in our heavy curtains, that it was well into morning and she was headed downstairs for her ritual of making human food for those who could eat it. I wasn’t sure if I could today.
She paused at our door and I whispered that it was okay, that he was sleeping. I watched the brass knob on the recently repaired door twist, and then her dark head peeked into the room. Her eyes immediately went to her son’s bare back. I rested my head on his arm, where he was stretched out to me, facing me.
Alanna’s eyes searched his still face. “How is he?” she asked quietly.
I made myself not blush as I watched the concern flit over her face. She didn’t care about the intimate moment we’d had, she cared about how upset he’d been when he first came home. Feeling tears in my eyes as I watched her step into the room and put a few fingers on his shoulder, I lightly shrugged and whispered, “I don’t know.” My eyes went back to his stone face. His mouth was just slightly parted and because I was looking for it, I saw the tip of a fang. He was right, they extended while we slept.
Brushing a knuckle over his cheek I said, “It’s so hard for him, not knowing what to do. He tries so hard…”
I felt Alanna’s fingers on my arm and looked up at her. “It’s hard for all of us, dear.” She smiled warmly and I returned it.
Putting my hand over his back and nestling into him, I whispered, “I think he’ll be okay. If he stops…I think he’ll be okay.”
She stroked my hand on his back and nodded. Pulling back she asked, “Are you hungry, dear? I was just about to make breakfast.”
I paused and my stomach rumbled. Looking torn, I didn’t answer her. I didn’t want to eat, I wanted to stay by his side, but my stomach had other plans. Seeing my indecision, she smiled and answered for me. “Stay with him. I’ll bring you something.”
I exhaled gratefully and nodded. It wasn’t a hard decision, but I was tired of thinking, and having someone else do it for a moment, was a welcome relief. Alanna looked over the two of us, smiled, and then twisted to leave. Before she streaked away, I sat up on my elbow.
“Halina?” I asked hesitantly.
She turned back with her hand on the doorframe. “She’s alright. Probably just holed up somewhere, until nightfall.” She grinned and I could tell she was just humoring me, she didn’t really know. “She’s going to be very angry. She hates sleeping in the ground.”
Before I could respond, she streaked away. “Thank you,” I muttered, settling back down to Teren’s cool skin. He didn’t shift in his sleep like a human would. He was laid in the exact same position that he’d fallen asleep in and I knew from experience that he’d stay that way until he woke up. His rapidly self-flowing vampire blood didn’t have the same circulatory problems human blood did. Teren’s limbs didn’t ever go numb.
“No, thank you, Emma,” Alanna responded from downstairs.
I smiled and went back to Teren-watching.
He woke up at the same time that I heard a car pulling up
the drive. I was listening to the crunch of tire on gravel and wasn’t paying attention to him. We were still naked in bed, draped around each other under the covers. He was in the same position he’d fallen asleep in, but I’d twisted and turned, trying to get comfortable with the massive stomach that impeded me from resting in my favorite position - on my stomach. I was also getting an ache from where a child was repeatedly kicking my rib.
I was staring at the ceiling, listening and rubbing my side, when Teren’s cool fingers pushed mine aside and rested where I was sore. I smiled and looked over at him. Alanna had opened the curtains for me and he was bathed in a warm, cheery light. His face was haggard, tired, but he smiled softly at me.
“Hey,” he whispered.
I twisted to face him. “Hey,” I whispered back, running a hand through his hair. He closed his eyes and inhaled, drinking me in. I smiled wider as he opened his eyes. His brow furrowed. “Who’s here?”
I listened to a door opening, my head cocked. Then I stood up, blurringly fast, and stumbled a little. Teren shot up right after me, steadying me as I adjusted to the odd feeling of moving faster than your mind can follow. I started to say thanks, but I stared at his bare body and then my own. Looking back up at him, I cringed. “My mom’s here.”
He cocked his head, listening, and then hearing what I’d heard, my mom chatting merrily with Ashley as they walked to the front door, he nodded and swept me into his arms.
Confused, I actually struggled for a little bit, thinking he was going to try and fit in a super quickie before they walked in the house. But I stopped when I felt him walk me over to a wide walk-in closet, holding enough maternity clothing for about three pregnant women; Teren had emptied our closet at home, and Alanna and Imogen were always bringing me something new to wear. A little retail therapy.
I smiled at him and held him close when he set me down. Looking down at me adoringly, he ran a thumb over my cheek. His eyes watered as he looked at me, and I knew he was replaying our conversation from last night. I shook my head and grabbed his face. “Don’t stress,” I whispered, as the rarely used doorbell chimed throughout the house.
He smiled at hearing his oft-repeated phrase said back to him, then he sighed and gave me a soft kiss. While Alanna greeted my mom at the door, feigning surprise and apologies at taking a few moments to get to them, saying she’d been in the back and hadn’t heard them (uh, huh), Teren and I quickly got dressed.
Alanna kept them busy for a few minutes downstairs while Teren and I “prepped” our room. He tucked me in bed and then zipped around upstairs, finding magazines, books, water, movies and candy. Everything a pregnant woman confined to a bed would need to entertain herself. As he left to go greet my mom, I started popping gummy bears. Might as well play the part.
As my group of visitor’s started trudging up the staircase, I started to worry about the one vamp who wasn’t safely tucked into the house with us. A little surprised that I was actually concerned for the vixen, I paused in my sugary treat and asked Teren, “Is Halina okay? Where is she?”
He was currently walking up the steps with my mother, her thanking him for offering his arm as her leg was starting to go out on her every once and while. To her, he said, “It’s the least I can do for a beautiful woman.” My mom tittered at that and told him he was a very sweet and I was a lucky girl. That I was.
To me, he imperceptibly whispered, “She’s fine. The nest was empty when I left…she was going to stay there.” He chuckled after he said that, laughing at Mom’s comment, but his voice was tight to me. I wanted to ask him more, but Ashley asked him how I was doing, and he started filling her in. I decided to not interrupt his conversation. Besides, just knowing she was fine, relaxed me in such a way that the smile on my face was a genuine one when Mom finally came through the door.
Mom immediately smiled wide and flew around the bed to my side. She was holding a box of chocolates and a small bouquet of flowers. The combination of those smells and the scent of Spike on her, made me a little nauseous. I hadn’t felt that way in while. For a moment, I actually would have preferred that she’d had a baggy of blood on her. Knowing that the twins were largely responsible for my hemoglobin cravings, I laughed and hugged my mom tight.
She sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing my arms before switching to rub my stomach. A twin kicked her and she giggled. Ashley sat on the other side, kicking off her shoes and coming under the covers to snuggle into my side. I threw an arm around the scarred woman, knowing that the two of them were probably planning on spending the afternoon with me.
Teren stared at the three of us on the bed, that realization on his face too. He bit his lip, carefully this time, and stared at the ground. He shifted back and forth, somewhat antsy, and I could tell he didn’t want to be in the room. My mom was oblivious to his odd behavior, regaling me on the adventures of her grand-pup.
I smiled and nodded at her, watching Teren from the corner of my eye. He sighed and looked out the window, maybe mentally counting down the remaining hours of daylight. I knew what he wanted. He wanted to leave here and find vampires. He wanted to question them on what they knew of mixed breeds, and beat them into submission if they refused to answer his questions. He desperately wanted someone to have a clue where he could find somewhere like himself, all in the hopes that that rare person would have an answer for him on the huge question mark that was my fate. Was I set to die in a couple weeks? Would the twins die with me? I would just be hitting my thirtieth week. Would they be far enough along to survive without me?
His eyes flashed back to me and he sighed again. His eyes were moist. I knew this was killing him, I knew he, at the very least, wanted to be doing research, but I also knew he needed to stay. Nothing out there would help me, and he was turning into something…well, monstrous.
Turning my full attention to him, I held out my hand. He stared at it, torn between staying and leaving. “Teren, that’s not the way,” I mumbled under my breath.
He looked down and nodded while my mom asked me if I’d said something. Still focused on Teren, I said nothing to her. She eventually silenced, noticing the tension in the room. My sister straightened and I felt her staring at Teren too.
He looked up at me, his eyes dangerously close to shedding a tear. I didn’t know how we’d explain that if he did. As it was, I could feel my mom’s curiosity pouring out of her.
Finally, Teren smiled widely and strode over to the bed, sitting on the corner and taking my hand. The tension broke with his move and my mom shrugged and continued on with tales of her life. Ashley, more clued into our situation, looked between the two of us. She squeezed my leg under the covers and I knew that she was aware something was going on that she didn’t know about, and she wanted to know about it.
But I couldn’t tell her with mom in the room, so I smiled warmly at her and then focused back on Teren. He smiled at me, his jaw tight, his gaze unwavering. He was forcing himself to stay, forcing himself to not run out and try and save me, me and them. I loved him so much, for both staying, and wanting to leave.
I whispered that to him and he sighed and nodded. “You’re right, that’s not the way.” He tilted his head at me, speaking under his breath while my mom continued jabbering. “We’ll find another.”
This time, I smiled warmly and nodded.
Chapter 18
Surprise, Surprise
The basis of our new plan was to try and save the children. Teren was coming to terms with the fact that I may or may not survive the shift, but with every day that passed by, there was a greater chance that we could save them. He stopped doing research from a madman and started doing research in medical journals. He spent every second he could pouring over premature deliveries, how to incubate and preserve children that were only the size of small heads of cabbage.
The lungs were the biggest issue. If I made it to thirty weeks, it was keeping them breathing that would be the hardest part. I eagerly poured over this research with him, finding it fascinatin
g and hopeful, instead of terrifying and nightmare-inducing, like his previous research had been.
His manic need to save me, shifted to this as well, and it didn’t take long before he was “interviewing” doctors and specialists, although in a much nicer fashion. All in the guise that he was writing an article on preemies for the magazine he worked for. It was the first time his career had proved a useful cover story and he gloated a bit about that. Hot Ben helped him with this too and I smiled that at least he wasn’t coming home with black eyes anymore.
The rest of his family helped out eagerly too, ordering (and in some cases, I’m pretty sure, stealing) supplies that they’d need. Pretty soon, a room right next to ours was set up as a sort of nursery. Sort of, because it mainly resembled a hospital room - two incubators, a couple heart rate monitors, and vials and vials of some sort of medicines. I wasn’t sure if any of the vampires knew what any of the stuff really did, but, they were going to try. It was the only option left to us.
Conversion Book Two: Bloodlines Page 39
