by Lorna Byrne
The department store also looked grey. I went down to the cloakroom, hoping I would see guardian angels with some of the girls I worked with, but the cloakroom looked the same as in the store – the girls there had no angels with them either, even though I knew they must be there.
I kept calling on my angels, but they didn't seem to be answering me. I left the cloakroom and went upstairs to the shop floor. I stood in the fashion department, at one of the rails looking towards the main entrance. I watched the manager of the store and a security guard open the doors and saw the customers start to walk into the store. Slowly, I started to see guardian angels with people, but the angels did not look their usual selves; their 'radiance' had disappeared and they were dull – they seemed to be covered in that same grey that filled the atmosphere.
I felt a tap on my shoulder; Angel Michael was standing there beside me, smiling. He was looking as radiant as ever. I asked Michael what was wrong.
'This is frightening me! I never saw this happen to angels before. What is that greyness? It's literally in everything and everywhere.'
'Lorna, it is going to be like this for a while,' Angel Michael replied. 'We are going to keep you in a spiritual state to protect you. You will still go to work, go home and do all the usual activities, but things won't feel quite real to you.'
'Michael,' I said, 'Nothing looks real, even now. I can feel the changes physically – I feel so light, still and quiet within myself. It has been getting stronger as the day has gone on. That greyness is literally in everything. It's horrible outside on the street.' I turned and looked at him.
'Michael, can you and the angels not protect everyone out there, the same way that you are protecting me?'
'No, Lorna,' Michael replied. 'Sometimes you are protected differently. That will have to remain a mystery until it's time for us to take your soul. No more questions now, Lorna. Just listen to what I have to say. When you get into work every morning, you must not leave the store. Only do so when it's time to go home, and then you must head straight for the bus. Understand?'
Just then, Valerie called me and Michael disappeared. I walked up towards the cash register where she was standing with Pauline and two other girls.We were chatting about what needed to be done when the floor manager came over to us.
'Good morning, girls,' he said. 'I don't want to frighten you, but the management has informed me that we must be on the lookout for suspicious packages, like a paper bag or a packet of cigarettes. Last night one of the cleaners in another store found a packet that looked like cigarettes, but was actually a firebomb. When we close this evening I want you girls to search the rails of garments and check the changing rooms for anything suspicious. If you find anything you should call me straight away. Don't forget to check in pockets of garments. We don't want the store to burn down and for all of us to lose our jobs.'
As the floor manager walked away I said to myself, 'So that is what is wrong.' I walked into one of the customers' changing rooms where I called Michael, and he appeared.
'Why didn't you tell me about the firebombs?' I asked.
Angel Michael never answered my question, instead he reached out and put his hand on my head and all the concern and worry was taken away from me. I really don't remember much about the next few weeks; it was as if I was in a dream, in another time and place.
Joe was very concerned. He would say, 'You are not yourself. You are not talking. You seem to be somewhere else.' He would ask, 'Have I done something wrong? Don't you love me any more?'
'I'm just tired,' I would reply. 'I'll be okay in a little while. Don't worry.'
It was very hard for both of us that I couldn't share this with him; but then the bombs went off. I was not conscious of the day of the week: time was of no consequence, I was oblivious to it. Standing at the rails in the department store, late one afternoon, I was startled by muffled sounds nearby.
As I write this I find myself reliving the experience of what happened that day.
'I am beside a bus, holding a man in my arms as he dies. I am watching angels gathering souls that are leaving human bodies; seeing some little souls and talking with them as if nothing has happened.
I am watching angels kneeling beside people, holding them in their arms, being with them, whispering in their ears that they will be all right.
I can see people running out of shops, angels shouting for help and trying to get the attention of people passing by.
It is horrific.
I cannot feel my human body; it's as if I am in two places at the same time – out on the streets of Dublin, where it is all happening, and at the same time in the department store standing at a rail of garments. I am moving along the streets without my feet seeming to touch the ground. There is debris flying everywhere, broken glass, people screaming and crying, souls leaving their bodies. I am laying my hand on people as I move along, reaching out and touching them.'
That day, my soul left my body and I was in a different world – out on the street with those that were suffering. Slowly, I came back to myself in the store. I realised I was clinging onto the bar of a clothes rail so tightly that my hands had gone very red. The shop was so silent.
The next moment, a young girl burst through the shop doors screaming and shouting in a terrified state. She ran about the shop screaming that bombs had gone off, that there were bodies everywhere. She was looking for her sister who worked with me in the department store. Somehow, the two sisters met and the young woman started to calm down.
Then one of the management staff went to the office and, using the microphone, announced that all staff were to meet at the back entrance of the store in five minutes to be taken home.
I knew it was all over! There would be no more bombs going off in Dublin that day. As I went down the stairs to the cloakroom, an angel whispered in my ear to go back to the telephone at the staff entrance and ring my mum. So I turned around and walked back towards the phone, made my call, spoke to Mum and told her I was okay. I hung up, ran downstairs and grabbed my coat. All the other staff were already coming up the stairs, heading for the back entrance of the store.
The delivery trucks were lined up and each of the drivers called out the different destinations they would be driving to. I climbed into the van that was going in the direction of Joe's mother's house. I was dropped at the door. Inside they were watching the TV news. Joe's mum hugged me and said she had been worried about me. We had a lovely cup of tea and I started to feel better. Then dinner was put in front of me; I was so hungry I felt I had not eaten for weeks. Then Joe arrived home and threw his arms around me. Everybody in the house was in tears, feeling the pain of all the families that had lost loved ones and all of those who had been hurt. As a result of the bombs in Dublin that day, the 17 May 1974, twenty-six people and an unborn baby died and hundreds more were injured.
Living in the Republic of Ireland, we had had little experience of the horrors of war, up to that day, but in Northern Ireland, less than two hundred miles away, more than 3,000 people were killed over the period from 1969 to 2000. Until then, we had little idea what it was like for those people in Northern Ireland, or in any other part of the world, to live with bombs going off without warning.
Angel Elijah once said to me: 'It is easy to make war: peace is the hardest thing to keep. You think that going to war puts you in control. You forget who gave you the power in the first place, and that he can take control at any time.'
For a long time after the bombs went off, my body and soul were hit by shockwaves, spiritually, physically and emotionally. I could feel the terror of those who were hurt and those who had died, and the shock of the families and friends. I could hear their voices, their crying. For months, faces would appear in front of me: not only the faces of those who had died, but also of those who were seriously injured and trying to stay alive and the faces of their heartbroken families. I was tormented by the horror of that day.
The angels did what they could to protect me as those
shockwaves blasted me. They wrapped me in what felt like a blanket; it felt so soft around me, like feathers, and it was snow white with what I would call an electrical charge running through it, sparking all the time. It was huge; I was amazed by its size.
Angel Elijah held my head in his hands, saying 'Lorna, we know this is hurting you. We have wrapped a blanket around you to help make it more bearable. It helps to keep your body and soul together.'
Then Elijah blew on my face and disappeared, and I felt a little stronger.
The days and weeks passed; I would still have to find places to hide where I could cry. Sometimes, during my lunch hour, I would go to the car park. When I knew there was no one in the loo at work, I would hide there. On other occasions I walked through the back streets to find a corner or an old wall where I could sit. Many times I told the angels I wanted to be alone.
On one of these occasions, Angel Elijah appeared; he would not leave me alone. Again, he took my face in his hands. Then Angel Elijah and I seemed to become one. It was as if I was seeing through his eyes. I was seeing all the horror of the world: the wars, the hunger, the mistreatment of human beings by other human beings. My soul screamed in pain.
Then Angel Elijah showed me the other side: the wonderful love, laughter and joy and all that is good in humanity. I laughed and tears of joy rolled down my cheeks. When Angel Elijah disappeared I continued crying tears of joy.
I walked back to work that day knowing that every man, woman and child has that good, that love, that joy inside of them. I believe one day it will overcome all the bad and the human race will evolve triumphantly; body and soul united.
Chapter Eleven
The Angel of Mother's love
I used to babysit every couple of weeks for my Uncle Paddy and his wife Sara. They had three little girls and lived in Walkinstown, in the suburbs of Dublin. I would take the bus directly from work to their house, stay overnight and go straight to work the following morning. The kiddies were lovely, gorgeous little girls, so I never minded looking after them. It gave my uncle and aunt an opportunity to get some time away – even if they only went to the pictures.
This particular evening, I was on my way to babysit and as I sat on the bus, lost in my thoughts, I was disturbed by an old lady who tapped me on the knee.
'Young lady,' she said, 'Your smile is filling me with happiness.'
Just then, everybody started to stand up. I said goodbye to the old lady as the bus pulled into Walkinstown.
While I was babysitting that evening, the doorbell rang; I wasn't expecting anyone and I hoped the doorbell would not wake the children.When I opened the door, I was surprised to see Joe standing in front of me.
'Close your eyes, no peeping!' Joe said as he led me down the garden path to the gate. 'Now, open your eyes. Surprise!'
Parked in front of us was a beautiful dark green Ford Escort. Joe was so happy. His first car!
'Joe, where did you buy the car from?' I asked.
'One of the car dealers that comes into your Da's garage,' Joe replied. 'I told him two weeks ago that I was thinking of buying a car, and then this morning he arrived with this. Your Da and the mechanic checked out the car with me and said it was a bargain.'
I gave Joe a big hug; I was so excited myself about it. He opened the car door and I sat inside. It was fabulous. I said to Joe, 'You'd better go now. Pick me up after work tomorrow in your new car.'
I waved goodbye to Joe as I closed the door.
Having the car gave us great freedom, and I always loved the long evenings in the summer time. One of the places Joe and I often visited on those long evenings was Celbridge House; we would walk along the banks of the river and sit watching men fishing, children swimming and parents holding the hands of toddlers as they paddled in the shallow water.
I would also watch angels rising out of the water – seeing the water clinging to them as they soared high into the air before descending back into the water next to a child. Some angels had wings, some didn't, but the angels seemed to spin around the children having just as much fun.
I loved to see a child splashing water in the direction of an angel – the splashes of water hitting the angel and it splashing back – and hear the laughter of the angels mingling with the children's laughter: to see a child dive under the water and an angel do the same thing at the same time was wonderful! One time, the angels formed a circle around a group of children; beams of light, full of colours – gold, silver and white – reflected from the angels. Then the beams of light turned into balls of all sizes, dancing on and under the water and through the air. On one of the balls, an angel was riding. It was astonishing to see this angel's wings – feathers dripping with water, the golden hair wet with water. Another time, the angels swung their heads from side to side, moving their wings simultaneously, splashing sparkling raindrops of silver and gold.
One day, sitting there by the river, I saw a wonderful example of the way angels care for us. I watched a mother and a little child, maybe about eighteen months old, at the edge of the river. The little child was full of excitement at the water running over his feet and the mother had her hands around his waist, trying to teach him to get his balance and to stand on his own. Sometimes she took her hand away, to see how long he could keep his balance and not fall. I watched the child's guardian angel sitting in the water under him. The child's legs became a little wobbly and he went down. The mother couldn't catch the child in time, but the angel did! As the child went splashing into the water he landed right into his angel's lap in a sitting position. Instead of crying, he started to splash the water and laugh. I smiled at this. Joe asked me, 'What are you smiling so happily about?'
I smiled at him and said nothing, so yet again I passed up the opportunity to let Joe know a little of what I could see. He was the only person I shared anything of my life with, but I was afraid to tell him about the angels in case he would think I wasn't all there.
'Let's walk further along the riverbank,' Joe suggested.
He got up and started to walk ahead of me, and an angel whispered in my ear about angels helping us to do everything we do in life. Even walking, breathing, talking and laughing – they are always helping us with every physical action we make with our human bodies. Angels also help us to sort out problems within our own minds; all the questions we have. All the time they are whispering to us, putting answers into our minds and thoughts, but most of the time we are so busy asking questions that we don't stop to listen for the answers. I heard Joe calling 'Hurry up' so I ran and caught up with him.
Walking along the riverbank in Celbridge, we had got to know an elderly couple. Their names were John and Mary and we met them quite often as they walked their dog, Toby, a 'Heinz variety' mongrel, but very lovable. The couple had lived in Celbridge all their lives and had just celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary; their children were grown up and had left home and now they had all this time to themselves, which they were cherishing.
One evening we met them and stopped to talk. Towards the end of the conversation John said to Joe in a mischievous tone, 'When are you going to propose to this young lady?'
I blushed. I was so embarrassed I didn't know where to look. I didn't dare look at Joe, so I don't know how he reacted.
Mary said, 'Don't be embarrassing the young couple!' She took John's hand and started to walk on.
Joe and I walked on further up along the river and sat on some rocks. I took my runners and socks off and put my feet into the water. Joe suddenly got up off the rock and stepped fully clothed into the water and got down on one knee. The river was about one foot deep and Joe was on one knee in a strong current. He was really wet. I giggled.
'I am trying to be serious,' he said. 'I want to propose marriage to you!' He had one of his hands on my knee, trying to keep his balance. 'Will you, Lorna, accept my proposal of marriage?'
All I could do was laugh. I laughed so much that I fell off the rock into the water. Joe caught me in his arms and we wer
e both soaked. We were both roaring with laughter. As Joe helped me to my feet I said, 'Yes.' I was laughing too much to say anything more.
We climbed back up onto the riverbank and we were still laughing, squeezing the water out of our clothes – thanks be to God it was a warm evening. As we were walking back along the riverbank, Joe stopped. 'I have to ask your Da for your hand in marriage. What if he says "no"?'
I thought for a moment and, remembering what the angels had always said about Joe and me getting married I said, 'Don't worry, Da will not say no. I know he will be happy for us.'
As we walked back along the riverbank people passing gave us funny looks; a child said to its mother, 'Mummy, they must have fallen into the river because all their clothes are wet.'
A group of men fishing shouted at us about going for a swim with all our clothes on. We must have looked like drowned rats. We waved to them and laughed. Just then, a thought dawned on me. 'I hope the keys for the car are still in your pocket and not on the riverbed!' Joe put his hand into his pocket and shook his head. We must have lost them back up the river where he had proposed to me.
'Okay, give you a race. Let's see who gets there first and finds the keys,' I said, as I started to run.
Joe called me and I stopped and looked back. There he was, standing with the keys dangling from his fingers and laughing at me. I ran back to him and grabbed the keys, saying 'Race you back to the car.' Joe reached the car before I did, not surprisingly, seeing Joe's legs were twice the length of mine.
As we drove back to my home, Joe and I talked about our wedding. We decided we would say nothing to anyone until Joe had talked to Da. When we reached our house Joe would not come; he said he would be embarrassed to be seen in wet clothes. We kissed goodnight and he drove off.
The next day at work, just before lunch time, Aunt Sara came into the store and asked me if I would babysit for her again that evening. It was unusual for her to come into the store like that, and it was clear that they were very anxious to go out. I agreed, even though that was the evening we had decided Joe would talk to Da.
