by Lorna Byrne
On arrival, we would light a little camp-fire and make tea. The children loved sitting at a camp-fire on the island with the water all around them and the ducks coming up beside them, looking for bread.We would have our tea and our sandwiches and look at the stars above. I know we weren't really meant to light a camp-fire there, because of the forest, but we were always very careful. Da had taught me a lot about camp-fires and other things to do with nature when I was a child: he had taught me about lighting fires, about walking safely along a river bank, about swimming and currents in the water; he had told me that there were rules about everything.
One evening we were there, the stars were shining and there was a full moon in the sky, so it was quite bright. There was no one else around, just us and the ducks. We had lit a little fire and the children were eating their sandwiches and playing around – little boys doing all kinds of things. I told Joe I would like a few moments on my own and I asked him to keep an eye on the boys while I went for a walk. For some time now I had been aware of something watching me from very far away. I wanted to talk about this with the angels.
Joe protested that it was dark. But I replied, 'I'll take the torch with me.'
I walked across the little wooden bridge on to a little path in the direction of the old castle, then right again to where there was a fair-sized green with a lot of trees around it. I went around the big oak tree so that Joe couldn't see me. I really wanted to be on my own and I knew that he would be watching for me.
Angel Elijah appeared, like a vibrant light among the trees, and walked out into the clearing, calling my name. As Elijah reached out towards me, my hands lifted towards him and he enveloped them in his hands.
We communicated, but there were no words: Elijah was speaking without words. 'Lorna, he walks in the darkness. Don't be afraid, he cannot come any closer unless God allows him. Do you know who I am talking about?'
'Yes, Angel Elijah,' I said. 'Satan. Is that who has been watching me in the dark? I have been conscious of someone, or something's, presence on the outskirts of my life – beyond the circle of light that surrounds me, millions of miles away in another circle of darkness where he hides. For the last six months, I have been scared, even though I know that God and all of you angels are protecting me.'
'Lorna, this is happening because one day God is going to test you by putting you in the presence of Satan,' Elijah said.
'Where will God be when this is happening?' I asked.
'God will be on your right and Satan will be on your left,' said Elijah.
'God will be with me to give me the strength,' I said, 'that is all that matters.' But inside I was filled with an enormous dread and terror. Then Angel Elijah let my hands go, and as they fell to my side I was filled with a feeling of peace and love. Elijah, smiling, gestured to me to look behind me, and disappeared.
Joe was coming up behind me with the children. Christopher had his bike and Joe had the two bikes and Owen as well.
'Lorna, we have to go now. It's really getting late.' He spoke in a quiet voice, as if not to wake any of the creatures in the forest.
'I didn't notice the time pass,' I said.
I took my bike and we walked along the paths and out onto the road. I felt very quiet and very still; very detached from the human world, and my family. From that moment I could feel that Satan was on his way towards me: it might take months or even years for him to come to me, but I was certain that we would meet.
Chapter Eighteen
'Isn't Lorna lucky . . .'
One winter evening, Joe and I arrived at the prayer group in Maynooth. There were already about twenty-five people in the room, a lot of them young men. Johnny, a very spiritual person, welcomed everybody and we all started to pray together and sing, which I always loved. Then everybody, including myself, went into silent prayer. You could have heard a pin drop. An angel whispered in my ear, 'Lorna, open your eyes and raise your head. Do you see the young man to the right?'
'Yes,' I whispered back.
'Lorna, you are going to share that young man's vision. Lower your head now and close your eyes,' the angel whispered.
I went into his vision immediately. I was walking beside the young man, along a winding, dusty road, full of stones and holes; I could never see very far ahead, because there was always another turn. He was walking for some time but he always managed to avoid the stones and the holes. He seemed to be lost, but he wasn't really because around the next turn was a building with steps leading up the left-hand side. With great effort, the young man started to make his way up the steps – it was as if they became steeper with each step. Slowly, he made his way to the door.
Watching his vision, it was as if the building had grown and now seemed vast. From the road it had looked a normal size, but now it was gigantic. The young man stood back in amazement. The door now in front of him was enormous: very big and heavy, and he was tiny by comparison. He wanted to go in, but it was going to take great effort. Using all his weight, he eventually succeeded in pushing it open and squeezed inside into an enormous empty hall which was filled with a great light. He sat down on the floor and began meditating in prayer, a tiny speck in this massive place.
I felt the touch of the angel's hands on my head, and the connection between the young man and myself was broken.
'It is time for sharing,' Johnny said.
One by one, people started to share. Eventually, the young man who had had the vision started to speak. He described the vision as he had experienced it – it was exactly as I had seen it. This was the first time that I ever shared another person's vision in this way and I was very excited about it. At the end of his description, the young man said he didn't understand what the vision meant.
The angels asked me to speak; they told me that I must tell the young man the significance of his vision, in order to give him courage to continue with his journey.
I was nervous; I was terrified!
'I can't do this,' I said to the angels, 'They won't listen to me – I'm just an ordinary person.'
The young man stopped speaking. The angels kept telling me I had to do it, and I kept giving them reasons why I shouldn't. Then another young man spoke and the angels told me to pay attention and listen to what he had to say.
'There is someone at the prayer meeting to whom God is talking. This person is afraid and nervous.' That is all he said.
God was asking me not to hide any more.
I took a big, deep breath just as Johnny said, 'If that is all the sharing, we will say a prayer together.'
'No, I have something to say,' I said. I turned to the first young man and explained to him that the vision related to his fear of becoming a priest. I told him that there would be a lot of obstacles on the path that God had laid out for him, but he would overcome them. He would make a big difference, not just in Ireland, but in other parts of the world. He needed to have faith and belief in God and in himself and he should take up his bag and go on his journey. I explained this was the message that the angels had given me for him.
Then Johnny started to pray and we sang and praised God. I really enjoyed that part. I was told by the angels that I had more to do at future prayer meetings, but I told the angels that I was dreading the thought of what they would ask me to do next.
The prayer meeting ended and we had tea and biscuits before Joe and I walked home. Joe made no comment about my having talked at the prayer group.
A few months later, at another prayer meeting in Maynooth, Johnny said, 'Let us all pray and ask for the healing that is needed within our families, or for our friends or anywhere in the world.'
Everyone shared, one by one: some people had problems in their families, or their friends had problems. People prayed for family members or friends to get well, or for a daughter's exam success; there were also prayers for help with a much-needed holiday and a decision about a car. Miracles were asked to achieve world peace, for governments, for help for priests and nuns and different charities –
for so many things. It seemed a lot of miracles were needed. All the while the angels kept tapping on my shoulder and saying, 'Now, Lorna. You know what to say.'
I took a deep breath. 'There is someone here,' I started, 'who needs a lot of prayer for her family. She has a brother who is married and he suffers with a drink problem and is abusing his wife and children. This person loves their brother very much. There is a court case coming up to do with something else and there is an awful lot of stress. God is saying to you that there is no need to be ashamed. Come and talk to Him. Have faith and pray for everything to be all right.'
I finished. No one said anything else.
Sometimes in prayer groups certain people will lay hands on others and pray with them, sometimes out loud. Johnny then asked whether anyone wanted to be prayed over, and called out the names of those who would pray over other people.
I was not one of them – I never had been – but that's not the way it turned out that day. God had other plans.
People got up and walked around the room, chatting, and some went off to make tea. A nun walked towards me; I smiled at her and said hello. It did not dawn on me that she was going to ask me to pray with her, but she did.
'Would you mind praying with me Lorna? It was me you were talking about and I need to talk to God through you.'
I nearly lost my voice. 'Yes, of course,' I said, 'but not in here with everybody. Can we leave the room and go somewhere else, where we can be on our own?'
'Of course,' she said. We went out into the corridor and found an empty room three doors down. We went in and sat down together, just the two of us – little did she know that I was shaking. 'Oh my God, what are you doing?' I kept praying.
Angels appeared all around us, whispering in my ear, 'You are in God's hands, Lorna.'
I prayed over the nun and I thanked God for the wonderful things that would change in her life. Then I said to her, 'It's time for you to talk to God.'
She started to talk; she must have talked for about an hour. At the end we prayed together. Every now and then, the angels told me to open my eyes and look at her. The angel who was with her, her guardian angel, was beautiful. I called her guardian angel 'the angel of peace and tranquillity'. I never told the nun I could see her angel or that the angel had her wrapped in her arms with her wings around her, that it was merged with her. I smiled, closed my eyes again and praised God more. Then the angels told me to go back to the other room.
When we got back to the other room, almost everyone was gone. Joe and I walked home. He said he was very surprised that I had spoken and I told him I found it very hard because I was so nervous, but that I had to do what God had asked me to do, with the angels' help. That was the first time I had ever prayed 'over' someone. I had, of course, prayed for many people before, but I always did so secretly, without them knowing.
Joe's work at the carpet factory meant he was out most nights. Many times, when the children were in bed, I would sit in front of the fire, take a deep breath, close my eyes and when I opened them again there would be lots of angels sitting around the fire with me. I would talk to them about everything. I would tell them that one of the most wonderful things was that I could talk to them, no matter where I was, and know that they were hearing my words. I talked to the angels constantly – they were my companions, my best friends.
When it got late I would tell the angels that they had better go because Joe would be home soon and I had things to do. The angels would then disappear physically, but I would still feel their presence; sometimes I would even feel an angel brushing off me. One particular evening, that is exactly what one angel did – brushed against me – and then appeared, just for a moment. This angel smiled at me and touched my belly, saying, 'God has granted your desire for another baby.' Then the angel disappeared.
Shortly afterwards, I discovered I was pregnant. Joe was thrilled; he said it would be lovely if the baby was a little girl. I did not seem to have too many difficulties during the pregnancy this time, and I thanked God for that.
After Christmas we decided to look at names for our unborn child. Joe said there was no point picking a boy's name this time; he was sure it was going to be a girl. We decided on the name Ruth. I went into labour about ten days early and was admitted into hospital. Then the labour stopped for a while. During this time,Mum and Da came in to visit and brought me some fruit. Da said he was looking forward to another grandson and Joe told him, 'It won't be a boy this time! Wait and you'll see – it will be a girl.'
When Mum and Da were leaving the hospital, I decided to walk with Joe to the main entrance. Mum and Da were ahead of us as my grandparents, Mum's parents, walked in through the doors of the hospital. Mum and Da stopped to talk to them and Joe and I said hello.We were standing about two feet away from Mum and Da when my grandmother said to my parents, 'Isn't Lorna lucky her boys aren't retarded like herself, or even worse! We expect this baby will be, though.'
Her guardian angel appeared behind her – there were tears in the angel's eyes and he reached out and touched me, giving me strength. But I was devastated. I could see Joe was shocked to overhear this comment too. My grandparents had spoken to my parents as if we did not exist. I moved away, with Joe's arm around me.
'Don't mind them,' Joe said, 'they are ignorant people.'
He walked back to the ward with me. I was crying, knowing what they were thinking. Angels appeared all around my bed and filled Joe and I with peace and love. I asked Joe not to mention to my parents what we had overheard.
But one of the things that upset me most that day was that my father didn't defend me. I was deeply upset that he did not rebuke my grandparents although I think I know why. He knew my mother's parents didn't fully approve of him either – they felt she had married beneath her, despite all the progress he had made. Da loved Mum very much; he felt he had caused a rift between my mother and her parents, and he was anxious not to widen it.
I understood why Da hadn't defended me, but it still hurt, and I lay there that night crying my heart out.
Years later I discovered, accidentally, that Granny, my mother's mother who had made those dreadful comments, had had a baby with Down's syndrome. The baby had a bad heart and only lived to be six or seven. For all her short life, she was kept in a bedroom upstairs, shut away from all the neighbours. I was told they felt ashamed to have a 'retarded' child.
In the early hours of the next morning I went into labour and our little daughter, Ruth, was born on the 25th of March – on Mother's Day and my own birthday. What a great birthday present!
The day we were discharged from hospital, Joe arrived with Christopher and Owen. The boys ran over to my bed but Joe walked slowly. There were angels around him, supporting him. His guardian angel came forward and told me Joe was not well. I wanted to cry, but I knew I had to smile. Christopher and Owen were both fussing over their new little sister, wanting to hold her, and Joe took our little daughter out of the cot and let her little brothers put their arms around her. I asked Joe if he was okay and he said yes – though I knew it wasn't the truth, and he knew it too. I told the angels that I was really worried about him and I asked them to do anything they could to help.
About two months later, Joe was working on the night shift when he got bad pains in his stomach. He went to his boss and told him he was feeling unwell and asked if someone could take him home.
'No, you look fine to me,' his boss said, and sent him back to work.
The thing was that Joe hardly ever looked sick because he was tall and strong-looking. Eventually, though, he told his boss that he was going home anyway, that he was too sick to work. About two in the morning, the angels woke me, saying, 'Lorna, get up. Joe is not well; he's on his way home. We are sending him help.'
I got up straight away, turned on all the lights, put on the kettle and then got myself dressed. I stood at the window looking out, praying to God to get Joe home safely somehow.
Joe told me later that, about halfway between Celbr
idge and Maynooth, he collapsed along the side of the road. He remembered coming round and crawling on his hands and knees when suddenly the lights of a car shone on him. It was a neighbour from Maynooth who stopped, turned his car around and got out to help. At first this neighbour assumed it was a drunk and could not believe his eyes when he recognised Joe. Joe explained he had a lot of pains in his stomach and the man offered to drive him home.
An angel tapped me on the shoulder. 'Lorna, go and open the gates; Joe is almost here.'
As I opened the gates, the man drove the car in. I helped him bring Joe into the house and put him into bed. He told me he would ring the doctor.
'How can I ever thank you for being so good?' I said.
He told me that he hadn't been able to sleep and had decided to go for a drive, and now he was glad he had. He said goodbye and drove away. I made Joe a cup of tea and about ten minutes later, when the doctor arrived, Joe was sitting up in the bed, feeling much better. The doctor laughed at Joe when he saw him.
'I hope you haven't got me out of my bed for nothing. I was told you had fits of pain and that you were found crawling on your hands and knees on the side of the road.'
'All the pain is gone,' Joe said, 'I feel fine now.'
They talked and joked for a few minutes and then the doctor said, 'Lie down flat on the bed there, maybe your appendix is acting up again.' He put his hands on Joe's stomach and instantly Joe shot bolt upright in the bed, screaming with agony.
'You are in trouble, Joe,' the doctor said. 'I'm going to send for an ambulance and write a note for the hospital.'
The angels continually amaze me: who else do you think they were talking to that night, but my Da! They told him to get up and go to our cottage. Da pulled into the drive behind the doctor's car just as the doctor was asking where the nearest telephone was.
