by Gail Cleare
“I believe you already know the answer to the second question, Emily. Is the answer to the first what you are really worried about?”
I nodded. No point in hiding it, since the old boy could read my mind anyhow.
“When Tony was a young boy,” he launched into story-telling mode, ”His parents had some dear friends who lived in England and came to Italy on vacation every year. They had a house near the summer home of Tony’s family, at Lake Como. There were three pretty daughters, playmates for Tony and his sister every summer when they were children. It was always the dream of both sets of parents that he would end up marrying one of the three girls.”
He paused for a breath then went on, waving his hand in the air for emphasis.
“The eldest daughter married young, a British military officer, I believe. The second daughter declared herself at age twenty-one to be a Lesbian, and moved into an apartment with her female lover. The youngest daughter, who was five years Tony’s junior and whom he had always regarded as an infant, grew up into a beautiful young woman and fell madly in love with him. There was a fling at Como the summer after he finished graduate school. She told her sister, who told her mother, who told Tony’s mother, who told his father. Everyone agreed that it was a perfect match, and the two fathers offered to buy the couple a house in Italy near their family homes.”
I can’t say I liked where this story seemed to be heading, but it was definitely fascinating. I made a fresh pot of coffee while we talked.
“What did he do then? Was he in love with her too?”
“Tony did the only honorable thing he could think of, as you might have predicted, my dear,” Henry said. “He offered to marry her. He did not fall in love with her, though. Slight problem. He was very fond of her, of course. And he didn’t want to upset anyone.”
“Oh,” I nodded, relieved. “Were they ever actually married? Did he break it off?”
I started to crack eggs and separate the yolks from the whites, whisking the egg yolks into the sauce one at a time. Then I stirred in a big dollop of ricotta cheese.
“They became engaged, “ Henry continued, “And Tony ingeniously insisted that she must complete her university education before thinking of a wedding. She was very young, after all. As she was in England and he was traveling the Orient most of the time, they did not see much of each other for the next few years. She led the carefree life of a bright young student of considerable means, and he led the life of an adventurer. These were the years when our friend made his fortune, and he was constantly on the move. The remote presence of an invisible fiancé can be quite useful to a young woman at times, I hear,” he said, peering at me.
“At any rate,” he continued, “They managed to postpone the marriage for several years and when the time came to do something about it, neither one of them was really interested.”
“Oh, that’s good!”
“You might say so, but it was quite upsetting for our boy at the time.”
“Why, did he mind? I thought he didn’t care about her?”
“It seemed that the girl had fallen in love with someone else, someone quite inferior but Johnny-on-the-spot as it were, and she had become, well, enceinte.”
“Oh! You mean, pregnant?”
“Yes, alas. Or, happily, depending on one’s point of view.”
“Very true.”
“While all that time, traveling the wide world to its most exotic ports where legendary beauties reside, Tony had considered himself to be an engaged man. And being honorable, he conducted himself accordingly! I can bear witness.”
“You mean, he was faithful to her while she was back in England having a sleazy affair with some guy?”
Mr. Paradis nodded, a twinkle in his eye.
It was hard for me to imagine. The girl must have been totally out of her mind. Lucky for me! I had no doubt from what Henry said that Tony would have gone ahead and married her, if she had expected it. Maybe she was just too young, or she thought of him as a brother. Maybe she had grown up in such a wealthy, privileged world that she never learned to appreciate real loyalty. She sounded frivolous to me.
Tony must have been crushed, even if secretly relieved. Not so much because of what he had deprived himself of over the years, as Henry indicated, but for the end of his dream of a loving wife and family. He had worked hard at school and achieved financial success, but suddenly he was heading down that road alone. Not that he had remained alone for more than a few weeks, I suspected. No longer protected by an official engagement, rich and handsome, he must have been chased around the globe by more than one enterprising husband-hunter.
I poured us both some fresh-brewed coffee. Henry’s scones sat untouched on the plate, but I was too curious to stop asking questions.
“So, how did the two families react to all this?” I inquired.
“They were not a problem. They were sorry the husband was not to be Tony, but glad about the baby coming, and her parents threw the happy couple a big wedding. Tony was one of the groomsmen.”
“Very civilized! I approve.”
“Yes.” He sipped his coffee and slowly took a bite of scone. I started to put together the layers of tomato sauce and eggplant in my two casseroles.
“When was this?” I asked.
“A few years ago. I think the child is two or three now.”
“So that doesn’t really explain why he decided to move so suddenly. Does it?”
“Emily,” he said deliberately, “When a man like Tony suddenly sees a clear path to the future he desires, he does not waste time. Especially if he has been searching for this path for many, many years. That’s why he sold his house.”
“What path?”
“Ahhh, now we are getting back to your second question of the morning, the one to which you already know the answer.” he said, rising out of his chair slowly, holding his back and cringing a little as he straightened. He shuffled toward the door to the hall.
“I suggest you ask him yourself, my dear, if you dare!” he called over his shoulder, heading up the stairs.
That afternoon when the lunch customers had tapered off I left the shop in the competent hands of Henry and Siri, gritted my teeth, and walked the eight blocks to my previous place of employment. I walked slowly, trying to decide what to say. I forced a smile onto my face and attempted to look friendly. People on the sidewalk smiled back, so it must have looked fairly natural. My upper lip stuck to my front teeth. I ried to get back to the forgiving, peaceful state of mind I had achieved the night before. By the time I reached the Gladstone Gallery, I was feeling calm and relatively optimistic. I pushed open the door with its elegant gold lettering and went inside before I could change my mind.
The first thing I noticed was the amazing new art show that the Gallery was displaying. It was obviously all the work of a single artist. Very large canvases and framed monotypes were hung on every wall, stunning abstract figures done in a bright palette, predominantly flaming red and orange but a few in bright blues. A series mounted on the long side wall had a musical theme. I saw mysterious figures playing guitars, black and white keyboards, horns, drums. The work was brilliant, and I was so transported by the images that I didn’t even notice when she first entered the room.
“Good afternoon, can I help you with anything?” came Lexi’s voice from behind me. She sounded stuffy, like she had a cold.
I turned around and faced her silently, trying to radiate good intentions and not knowing how to start. When she recognized me, a strange look came over her face. I realized that Lexi looked like she had been crying. Her eye makeup was smeared and her nose was red. She looked at me first in disbelief, and then with an intense emotional gush she threw her arms around me and burst into tears on my shoulder.
“Oh my god,” she sobbed, “I can’t believe you’re here! How did you know?”
I nearly fell over when she collapsed on me, I was so surprised. I rallied, and patted her back consolingly as she wept. Obviously something had gone very wrong
in Lexi Land!
“Lex? How are you doing, sweetie?” I ventured, mining for clues. I hugged her and kept on patting. She was a complete mess.
“Oh my god,” she said, distraught, “I’m still in total denial. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe she’s just, gone! Gone!” She burst into fresh paroxysms of grief. In a minute or two she straightened up again slowly and pulled back, sniffling.
I offered her a kleenex from my bag and probed cautiously, “When did you find out?”
“This morning,” she sniffed, blowing her nose. “Daddy called here, just as I was opening up.”
“I am so sorry, Lexi, “ I said, meaning it in every way, even though I still didn’t know what she was talking about,
“Thank you,” she answered, trying to blot the running mascara from under her eyes.
“What exactly did he, er…say?”
“There was a tree down across the road. Nobody knows why. It must have just fallen. It was pitch dark out there, and she drove right into it. She never had a chance.”
“Oh, no!”
“Yes, she died instantly. Mummy says they’re planning the funeral for day after tomorrow. Will you come with me? Please, Em? I don’t think I can do it alone.”
“Where, Lexi?”
“The Island, that’s where they’re going to bury her. I just can’t believe my sister is gone. I feel like when we get off the ferry, she’ll be standing right there!” Tears welled up and rolled down her cheeks. She blotted them away with the kleenex.
I thought quickly, and realized that this was surely the perfect chance to transform our relationship back to into an amicable one. I wasn’t terribly eager to drive her out to the Cape and take the long ferry ride to Nantucket, nor to go to a sad family funeral attended by a bunch of rich people I had never even met. However, opportunity was knocking at my door. As I had requested and right on schedule, too. Carpe diem, and all that. I took a deep breath and committed myself.
“Sure, I’ll go to the Island with you Lexi,” I said, “I’d be glad to. I’m so sorry for your loss. And, I’m also sorry that things haven’t been, well, very good between us lately. I’m sorry for whatever I may have done to contribute to that. I want to be friends.”
She regarded me solemnly, twisting the tissue in her hands.
“I forgive you, Emily. Do you forgive me?” she said, her lip trembling.
I nodded mutely and we hugged again. When we pulled apart we were smiling at each other. I kept one arm draped around her shoulders comfortingly as I steered her toward the seating area at the back of the gallery. Two couches and several big easy chairs were clustered around a glass-topped coffee table. We sat down together on one of the sofas.
“You know,” she confided, “I feel so weird about this. I never thought I even liked Suzi very much, but now I’m just…devastated!”
“That’s totally understandable,” I said. “You always love your family, even when you’re mad at them, or whatever.”
“No,” she protested, “It’s more than that! I really didn’t like her. In fact, she’s the whole reason I never had many girlfriends, you know. She tortured me when we were little. I never could trust her. She made fun of me all the time.”
“Was she older than you?” I asked, vaguely remembering this fact.
“Four years,” Lexi answered. “She was always so pretty, so slender and graceful. And I was a pudgy little child. She used to call me The Toad.”
“Oh no, that’s awful!”
“Yes,” she nodded seriously, “One time she locked me in the attic of the Westport house for a whole day. Nobody could find me. They thought I had run away, and Daddy called the police!”
“And nobody heard you calling?”
She regarded me with a hint of the old Lexi peeking out, giving me that “Are you stupid or crazy?” raised eyebrow. I figured she must have felt a little better.
“Are you kidding?” she asked, “In a 20,000 square foot house you don’t hear a small child calling from behind a closed door on the third floor, Emily!”
“OK, well, that must have been scary for you, Lexi.”
“Yes, it was!” she nodded. “I had to pee in a little bowl. There was nothing to eat or drink. I cried all day.”
“You poor thing! You must have been dehydrated!”
“Yes, I suppose so! And Suzi thought the whole thing was just hysterical. She laughed and laughed.”
I made sympathetic noises as Lexi related a series of incidents from their childhood, some bad and others good, gradually growing more and more calm as her crying jag receded. I received the impression that Suzi had been a mischievous bully, not a dangerous devil, but someone who had made a major impact on the growing insecurity of her little sister. I wondered if Suzi had been jealous of Lexi, who must have been just as bright and aggressive for attention then as she was now as an adult. I was willing to bet that Lexi was never pudgy at all, either. I doubted there was a single day in her life when she didn’t wake up pretty first thing in the morning.
“When do you want to leave? I should make plans to be away,” I said, thinking of the shop, and Tony, whom I had hoped to see again tonight.
“Oh, I’m too blown away to get organized today,” she said, rubbing her temples. “I think I’ll just lock up and walk over to the spa for a massage. We can go tomorrow. I’ll call Mummy and tell her when to expect us.”
“OK, I’ll pick you up at your place in the morning, then.”
She nodded, placing her hand over mine.
“Thanks for being here, Emily.”
I smiled at her, genuinely glad of the same thing.
“I’ll call you later to confirm after I reorganize my schedule,” I said, “ I’m sure it will be OK, I just need to check.”
We stood up and hugged again, then I left and walked back to my shop. When I told Siri what had happened, she was ecstatic. Her beautiful eyes lit up and she gave an excited whoop.
“You did it!” she cried, “You have transformed the negative into the positive!”
“She totally adores me now! Can you believe it?” I said, grinning.
“And how do you feel about her?”
“Actually,” I said thoughtfully, “I kind of like her too. I just have to remember how things are in Lexi Land, and be patient. Understanding where she is coming from really helps. Though I’ll keep my guard up, too, just in case.”
“That’s right,” Siri said approvingly, as though satisfied with me, her pupil. “If you concentrate on her good side, she will show it to you more often!”
“I’ve got to make plans to be out of town for a few days,” I said, thinking about it.
Siri offered to bring Isabella Reyes in to help in the shop while I was gone. She felt the two of them could handle it, with Mr. Paradis’ help. Siri offered to call Bella right away, and soon reported to me that she had agreed to the plan. I went upstairs to find my employer and give him the news. I wondered whether Tony had returned during my absence, but there was no sign of him on the second floor, where I found Henry in his study. He was sitting at the computer, and I saw the eBay logo at the top of the screen.
Henry listened to my story with attention, and agreed that he and the girls would mind the store while I was away. He told me that Tony had called earlier, saying that he had gone to Boston for the day and would return in time to drive me home after work. Everything seemed to be falling into place, so I dialed Lexi’s cell phone and left voice mail saying that we were all set for going to Nantucket in the morning.
I was concerned about what we would find when we got there. As the afternoon passed, I imagined how the rest of Lexi’s family must have been feeling right now. I had no idea how many relatives would be gathered there, but it was sure to be an emotional family event. I would feel a little out of place, never having met any of them and not exactly coming from the same social strata. I was curious to see the Gladstone summer cottage, which was sure to be fabulous. I had never been to Nantucket before.
I started thinking about what clothes to bring with me, and how long we might be gone. I made a list of what to pack, and another list for Siri and Bella of things I knew had to be done later in the week.
At almost closing time, I was sitting behind the cash register doodling on my notes. I heard the back door open, and someone came into the hallway by the kitchen. Tony Novak poked his head around the corner and spotted me.
“Hey,” he called, walking across the showroom, “How’s it going?”
He looked happy and relaxed, as though his business had gone well today. He was dressed somewhat formally in a white shirt and tie, with a sport coat and khaki slacks. He smiled as he came towards me, flashing those gorgeous white teeth. I was struck afresh by how incredibly good-looking he was, to me anyhow. Square jaw, flashing brown eyes, and a lock of straight dark hair falling across his forehead. When he smiled at me like that, I drifted off into absentminded euphoria, and had a little trouble remembering to breathe.
“Good, it’s going…good!” I stammered, remembering not to fall too hard, too fast. “How about you? I hear you went all the way to Boston today.”
He stood across the jewelry case from me and reached over to take my hand, lacing his fingers through mine. Leaning closer, he kissed me on the cheek. He examined my facial expression carefully, as though reading me in some way. Then he smiled, and kissed my other cheek. He kept holding on to my hand. I started to feel lightheaded again.
“All the way to Boston and back again, like a homing pigeon,” he said.
I smiled at the image. He smiled back. We floated blissfully in the air together for a moment. Then I came back down to earth and said sadly, “I have to go away for a few days, Tony. Lexi’s sister died.”
He considered the news. “And you found this out when you went to see her today?” he asked.
I nodded.
“Good girl, Emily. You did a brave thing,” Tony said. “And you’re going to the funeral?”
“Yes, I’m bringing Lexi there.”
“Can I help you in some way?”
“I guess you could feed Tree for me.”
“No problem,” he said, stroking my arm. “And can I cook for you tonight? While you…pack?”
