I flatten my hands on the sleek wood of the table and begin revealing what I think is one of my most important flashbacks to date. “When I was in Egypt at one of the last dig sites I was at with my family, I saw the man who was having an affair with my mother.” The rest of the admission is painful. “He was with my father.”
Liam rolls his chair around to face me and Tellar moves to sit back down. Apparently, I’ve gotten their attention. “Who is he?” all three men ask at once.
“I don’t have a name.” I try to visualize the man’s face but can’t. He’d turned around. I’d seen him. Hadn’t I? “All I saw clearly was the back of his head and his profile, or that’s all I remember right now. It was the middle of the night, so it was dark, and all of the workers on the sight were tucked away in tents and sleeping. I’d left mine to go to the bathroom. They were by a supply tent.”
“Just your father and this man?” Derek prods.
“Yes, and…” I wet my suddenly parched lips. “I’m not sure why I hid, but I hid. I tried to make out what was being said, but it was no different than the night this man was with my mother in Jasmine Heights. I couldn’t hear much.”
“Anything you heard could be helpful,” Liam encourages, “even if you think it’s not.”
“The man handed my father an envelope and when my father looked inside he was angry enough that he raised his voice and I heard him say...he told the man that “it”, whatever was in the envelope, wasn’t the amount promised.”
I expect questions and comments and all I get is blank looks that frazzle my nerves. “No,” I say, to the accusations in the air they don’t even have to speak.
Liam covers my hand, his expression as grim as his tone. “You know what it sounds like. You have to.”
My defenses flare. “It’s not some sort of payoff for illegal activity. We had investors and donations. It had to be that, or maybe it wasn’t money at all. My point is simply that my mother was having an affair with someone my father was doing business with.” My throat tightens. “That somehow makes it worse.”
Tellar interjects, “I started out working for a PI who specialized in cheating--” he seems to catch himself, “domestic disputes. It’s common that the affair happens with someone close to the couple. I’d bet my two front teeth that this guy is at the root of all of this.”
It was never about the money. I’d overheard my mother say that to someone. Who? And if someone claims it’s not about the money, then money is involved.
Liam sets my sandwich more fully in front of me. “Let’s eat and then we’ll all dig into the files with the connection in mind.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to eat. I want to look through the files now.”
Liam sighs and motions to Derek. “The pictures. Show her the pictures.”
My brow furrows. “Pictures?”
Derek reaches down into the box he’d brought with him, retrieves a black three-ring binder, and sets it in front of me. “It’s every picture we could pull of anyone who ever crossed your path. Maybe you will find your man in there.”
I stare at the binder that holds the past I’ve tried to force into a dark corner in my mind these past six years, steeling myself for what I will see, still wholly unprepared when I flip it open. It’s like a physical blow when I see my mother staring back at me, her lovely blue eyes bright, her long blonde hair like silk around her pretty face. But the blow is nothing compared to her screams for help echoing in my mind.
I squeeze my eyes shut, fighting the burning sensation that does nothing to help me or my mother. Liam rolls his chair closer, his hand on my leg, his food as forgotten as mine. “Tell me about her,” he says softly.
I have to swallow twice before I whisper, “I can’t. Not now.” I swallow again. I think I might be sick.
“If you aren’t up to this--”
“I am.” I look at him, straightening my spine. “I have to be.” I flip another page. Liam squeezes my leg and I cover his hand with mine, welcoming the strength he is to me.
Two hours later, I haven’t found the image of the man, and I’ve looked at every photo twice. I flip back to the beginning to start again and Liam shuts the notebook. “Don’t do that to yourself again. Clearly, he’s not in there, but a whole lot of pain is.”
Again, he’s right. I think I’ll tell Dr. Murphy I’ve diagnosed myself on Monday. It’s not Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It’s a broken heart. “You have to eat, baby,” Liam continues. “You haven’t touched your sandwich.”
“I might have something here,” Derek interjects, keying something into his computer and then glancing up at us. “Being the real estate guy that I am, I know that cities with Jasmine Heights’ modest population of twenty thousand that are booming, as it is, tend to have a primary investor who’s making it happen. Turns out I was right. Not only does one man own most of the primary real estate, but he is a substantial investor in, get this,” he pauses for effect, “the hospital that shows no record of you ever being there.”
Of course it doesn’t. To the world outside this room, I’m dead. “Who?” I ask and I don’t sound urgent. The truth is, looking at those photos was like taking a knife and slicing me open. I’m bleeding inside and barely holding it together.
“His name is Sheridan Scott,” Derek supplies. “Sound familiar?”
“No. But that doesn’t always mean it won’t later after I’ve had time to think.”
Derek turns his computer to face Liam and I. “What about now?”
“No,” I say, disappointment filling me as I stare at the image of a good looking sixty-something-year-old man in a suit, his dark hair peppered with gray. “He’s way too old. My mother was in her forties. I guess the man to be her age or younger. Tall, and dark, and good looking.”
Liam moves his computer to sit in front of me and pulls up another photo for me to study. I frown. “Why are you showing me Alex?”
“You’ve seen his photo?”
“I googled him way back in Denver when you told me about him.”
His shoulders visibly relax. “I just wanted--”
“To build trust.” I give the other men my back and cup his cheeks, not caring about the audience. “You have it.” I press my lips to his, drinking in the connection to the one person in this world I can trust, and the idea eases the hurt created in me by the photos just enough to make it bearable. He, like our child, gives me the light in the darkness to fight this battle. I have to keep fighting.
* * *
Saturday morning is bittersweet. It begins with me in the shower with Liam and we almost forget the idea is to use soap and shampoo. Afterward, still craving that casual feeling of hanging around the house we’d had the day before, I convince Liam to dress in a navy Yankees sweatsuit I find in his drawer and I choose a pale pink one of my own, minus the sports logo. We head to the kitchen together to meet up with Tellar and Derek to do more research, but for a few more moments, I am still all about Liam, the father of my child, and I’m amazed how, no matter what he wears, he owns the space around him. And yes, me, too.
“The chef is in the house,” Tellar announces and Liam and I claim seats at the table and he moves around the kitchen like he owns it, and despite his cheery tone, his shoulder holster and gun dent my mood.
Liam leans in and kisses me. “I need to make a couple of business calls.” He eyes Tellar. “I expect the chef to be in when I get back.”
Tellar mock salutes him. “At your command, sir. Yes, sir.”
Laughter bubbles from my lips and I murmur a greeting to Derek. For a moment, I have the oddest sense of being in a happy bubble that could burst at any moment, and I don’t want it to. Tellar sets a cup in front of me and fills it. “Decaf per the boss’s orders. And how about an omelet? Or eggs sunny-side up? Name your egg.”
“Scrambled eggs well-done, please.” I lift the cup. “And thank you.”
Derek and I chat for a few minutes about his sister who’s a high-end real estate agent,
and by the time I finish my eggs, Liam returns. Tellar whips him up an omelet and I listen as Derek and Liam talk about the Denver project Derek is still trying to salvage, the one Liam was supposed to design. Listening to them, I become aware of the bond between these two men that is far more brotherly than simple friendship. And I get why Derek is here. He, and Tellar too, despite being on payroll, are the closest thing to family Liam has. Except for me and the baby.
I reach under the table and press my hand to Liam’s leg. His hand covers mine and we exchange a warm stare. Not for the first time, I am moved by how alike Liam and I are. How alone we were in a world of billions of people until we found each other. I know why he battles being over-protective. I can’t lose him or this child.
“Need anything else?” Tellar asks me.
I frown at him. “What’s happening? Why are you acting like a doting Papa Bear?”
He shrugs. “You’re pregnant and my mom and four sisters taught me right.”
“Four sisters?”
“That’s right. Four. Three of whom have had babies. So, I ask again. Need anything else?”
I look at his gun and then back at him, a tiny prick in my bubble. He’s not just family. He’s a trained protector and killer. “Yes,” I reply. “I need you to not need that. I didn’t notice it the first night we met.”
“I use an ankle holster in public, but this is easier to access.”
“Right. And you need it to be easy to access.”
“This is where I tell her the truth,” Tellar says to Liam. “Yes. I do.”
“Yes, baby, he does,” Liam agrees, drawing my attention. “And I’d feel better if you had one and knew how to shoot it.”
“I don’t like guns, but I can shoot and if I wasn’t afraid the registration would somehow make me more trackable, I’d have bought one long ago.”
Liam leans back in his chair, his dark hair intensifying the aqua of his piercing eyes. “Not the answer I expected.”
“Yeah well, it wasn’t by choice, though I’m not beyond seeing the value of knowing how to protect myself. Learning to shoot was the condition for me traveling with my father. He was concerned about females in a foreign country that isn’t female-friendly.” Tellar sits down with a plate piled high with eggs, potatoes and a bagel and my eyes go wide. “And apparently lugging around a big weapon takes a lot of energy.”
Tellar’s eyes light up. “Don’t you know it, honey.”
Liam ignores the exchange, sitting up, elbows on the table. “Was your father’s concern a general one, or based on a specific threat?”
“We had various issues over my mother and me not covering our faces and bodies.”
Liam presses, “Anyone in particular you remember that we should look into?”
“No. No one specific. I can tell you think this is a potential lead, but really it’s not that uncommon over there. It happens.”
“An interesting thing about Sheridan I think would be well-timed right about now,” Derek interjects. “He’s not only richer than Liam, which is pretty damn rich, he’s richer because he’s into oil. He’s got a connection to Jasmine Heights and now we’ve linked him to Egypt.”
I twist in my seat to face him. “We weren’t involved in oil,” I say but even as I do I hear my mother shouting, and I hug myself against the shiver racing down my spine.
* * *
Monday morning comes and Liam leaves me with Tellar to take care of business at the bank, but he’s back in time for Dr. Murphy’s visit. “Why don’t we just use the bed?” she suggests, very proper in a navy suit dress while I’ve opted for the distressed jeans and red sweater I wanted to wear before they no longer fit.
I claim the edge of the mattress and she joins me and begins checking my vitals. Liam, as promised, refuses to be sent from the room.
“How is she?” Liam asks, towering over us, and looking incredibly, intimately male in a dark suit and pressed white shirt, his blue eyes glinting bluer with the sun and water behind him.
“Her vitals are good and so was her blood work. I’m setting the due date as June 26th.”
My eyes connect with Liam’s and I expect excitement, but I find intensity, worry. He doesn't even comment on the date. “She hit her head at one point when she fell and needed stitches.”
“My recommendations haven't changed. Acupuncture and therapy. I can do an acupuncture session today before I leave.” She glances at me. “Are you eating?”
I nod. “Yes. Now that I’m rested, I seem less nauseous.”
“Can she travel?”
Dr. Murphy gives Liam a keen inspection. “Does she need to travel?”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“International. I’m not at liberty to tell you more.”
“I need more to prepare her vaccinations. She has to be protected.”
“Go wide,” Liam says. “We might be one place and move to another.”
“When are you leaving?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
I am on my feet in an instant, closing the short distance between him and me. “Tomorrow?”
His hands come down on my shoulders, warm and solid. “Yes. I told you to trust your instincts and now I’m asking you to trust mine.”
“I’ll give you two a moment,” Dr. Murphy says. “I need to call my office anyway.”
Liam glances over my shoulder. “Any of the rooms on this floor are at your disposal.”
She clears her throat. “If you want to give birth here, you need to be back by May 1.”
I hear the door shut, confirming her exit, and ask, “Where?”
“Taiwan. I have contacts there that can protect us and I’ve already lined up medical care and a place for us to stay.”
Taiwan. It’s a long way from Texas. “What about paperwork?”
“I’ve arranged everything. We’ll have what we need by morning. We need to do this.”
This is the ultimate test, the confirmation I trust him completely, and I reach deep, doing what I’ve always done to survive, and what Liam claims I’ve done well. I listen to my instincts and they say I belong with this man.
I inhale and nod. “Yes. Okay.”
* * *
The trust I’ve given Liam seems to deepen our bond further and every nervous moment I have, he seems to anticipate with a touch, a look. A moment no one else could have with me. Moments I had never thought I’d share with anyone, ever.
Bedtime comes and I climb into bed. Liam brings my purse and sets it next to me. I frown and he lays a small leather case on the bed. My pulse leaps even before he unsnaps it and shows me what’s inside. “It’s a Smith & Wesson .38. Compact and easy to fit in your purse.” He presses it into my hand. “Comfortable?”
I close my eyes, swallowing the knot in my throat. “As comfortable as needing this is going to get.” I check it, confirm it’s loaded, and close it back in the case. “Thank you.” I stick it in the black Chanel purse and it fits perfectly.
Liam sets my bag on the nightstand, and climbs into bed with me. “I want to feel your skin,” he murmurs, stripping away my gown and his boxers, and wrapping me in his strong arms, my back to his front. But this moment isn’t about sex and passion, of which we have plenty for one another. It’s about hope, and fear, and the kind of loss neither of us want to feel again.
“Safety first,” he reminds me, stroking my hair in that soothing way he does. “Answers second. I’ve got you, baby. I promise. I’ve got you and I’ve got us.”
My lashes lower, letting the scent of him, familiar and warm like his arms, ease the tension in my body. He’s right. Safety first, but I can’t escape this horrible feeling gnawing at my gut. Like once I leave, I’ll never come back. I’ll never come back. Unable to fully sleep, I drift in and out of that thought. Once I leave...
Suffocating from the smoke pouring into my room, I shove open the window and suck in fresh air but I’m not sure I want to breathe. My mother...she’ s stopped screaming. I don�
�t know what that means. What does it mean?
“Mom! Mom, answer me!”
“Jump, Lara!” my brother shouts. “Jump now.”
“Not without you and Mom and Dad!” I shout back at him, angry at something, everything. Afraid of the orange flames licking a path through my door, ready to consume it as they had the hallway.
“You see the flames, damn it,” he answers. “I can’t get to you. I’m going out another window. I’ll meet you outside.”
The flames move closer and I perch on the edge of the window. He didn’t say anything about Mom and Dad. “Mom’s okay? Did Dad get to her? Did he get her out?”
“Goddamnit, Lara. How many times do I have to tell you to jump out of the fucking window! I’m running out of time. Get out so I can get out.”
The flames jump to my bed and I scream. I barely remember perching on the window sill but I’m grateful for my sweats and tennis shoes as I wobble and have to catch myself. It’s dark and I can’t see below but I know the roof slants and there’s a tree just below my bedroom. Heat sears my back and I yelp, climbing out onto the roof and squatting, clinging to the window’s ledge to keep from sliding into the darkness. Praying the fire trucks will come before I jump. Why aren’t they coming? Why aren’t they here?
Flames flash through the center of the window and I let go of it, sliding into a near tumble. Somehow, I right myself flat on my stomach to watch flames eating away at my curtains.
“Please get them out, Chad. Please. All of you get out.”
Looking over my shoulder, I scoot farther down the slant and my feet catch on the gutter, and it almost gives. Cautiously, I inch around and manage to get to a squat. It’s dark, so very dark, and I try to gauge how close the tree limb is. At least I can’t see how high it is. I hate how high it is.
I reach for the limb when a blast from behind me shakes my bones and I’m thrown from the roof.
Gasping, I sit and the sound of screeching tears through my ears. Alarm. Fire alarm. Smoke bites viciously at my nostrils. Oh God. Oh God. No. I start to shake all over. This can’t be happening. I blink Liam into view, standing over me, shouting something at me. I don’t know what. I just know the house is on fire. The house is on fire.
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