And she felt so alone.
She stood to see what he was staring at. He was looking toward the barn. Of course he was. His room faced the same direction as hers. She tried to spot Colt, but all she saw was Mac.
“Dog.”
“What’s that, sweetie?” she said, leaning toward him, wishing she could hug him.
Sis, I’m trying so hard.
But Sharron couldn’t hear her. Neither could Dee, it seemed. The boy touched the window, his fingertips leaving smudgy circles on the glass.
“Dog,” he said again.
Amber froze, then closed her eyes against more tears. She lifted a hand, wanting to touch him.
“His name is Mac,” she said, gently resting a palm on his shoulder. Dee didn’t move away. “And you’re right, he’s a dog.”
“Dog.”
“Mac,” she enunciated.
“Dog,” he said again.
She’d take it. At least he remembered dog. And it was a minor breakthrough. A word. His second in ages. Something more to build from.
She had no one to tell. No one to share the victory with.
“Maybe Colt will bring Mac by to see you later.”
Dee didn’t say anything.
“I’ll ask him if you want.”
He continued to stare toward the barn. And that was okay with Amber. There were so few moments like these. As he grew older, there would be even less. It would be just Dee and her. Although not if she allowed Logan back in their lives…?. One day, she would have to give Dee up—at least part of the time. Logan would want him back, she’d begun to accept that. Even if Logan had pushed his child away at the onset of Dee’s autism, escaping to the rodeo. He seemed to have come to terms with it…?.
She spotted Colt and pressed her hand against the glass, too, amusing herself for a moment by covering up his hat with her thumb.
“He’s different,” she said softly.
A rodeo cowboy. What irony.
She made a decision then, one that she knew in her heart was right. She was so weary. Sick of being alone.
“I love you, kiddo,” she told her nephew.
She turned away, heading toward…well…she didn’t know what she was heading toward.
But she wanted to find out.
HE NEEDED TO GET off his ass, Colt thought, sweeping the floor more furiously. Needed to do a better job trying to match the photo in his pocket to the kids at the camp. To keep his mind off Amber.
“Hey there.”
He almost dropped the broom.
“You look busy,” she said.
“Hey.” He forced himself to meet her gaze.
Her blond hair was illuminated by the light behind her, the edges burnished gold. When he was younger he’d pictured his ideal woman. Amber was it. But that had been a long time ago, back before his life had fallen apart.
“You doing anything right now?” she said softly.
“Why? You need something?”
It seemed she might not answer, but then she squared her shoulders, looked him right in the eye. “I was hoping you’d take me for a ride,” she said. “Next week’s kind of crazy for me. I should get some time in the saddle before all hell breaks loose.”
You want to find Rudy, don’t you?
“Flash?” he asked.
“Uh, sure,” she said, glancing toward the gelding’s stall.
“You could always ride Petal.”
“Aren’t I too big for her?” she asked.
He felt his lips twitch. “I was kidding.”
“Oh. Well, then, I guess I better go catch Flash.”
“I can do it for you.”
“No, I’ll do it,” she said, turning away. His dog tried to follow in her wake.
“Mac,” he called.
The Australian shepherd obeyed his command, but Colt could tell he didn’t want to. He’d taken a shine to Amber. Colt didn’t blame him.
She picked up the halter, studying it for a moment. Flash was eating his dinner in a corner of his stall, his ears swiveling back and forth.
“This won’t upset his stomach or anything, will it?” she asked.
“What?”
“Interrupting his meal.”
“No.” Colt stared at her from beneath the brim of his hat. “Horses in the wild are frequently startled by prey. They can graze for hours and then run for ten miles without any harm coming to them.”
She slid the stall door open. He was pleased to see she held the halter the correct way this time, and that she walked right up to Flash. Since the horse was eating, it paid her hardly any attention. In a matter of minutes she’d buckled the headpiece and then stood back, proud of herself.
Colt couldn’t help but smile. “Good job.”
She tugged the horse away from his food. Flash wasn’t exactly thrilled to have his dinner interrupted, but he followed her out. Colt hung back at a distance as she walked toward the front of the barn. It wouldn’t be dark for a couple hours yet, but the eucalyptus trees shielded the barn from the sun. He had a feeling the people who’d built this place had planned it that way. Amber didn’t seem to notice the waning light. She marched right up to the hitching post, wrapped the lead rope around it and executed a perfect slipknot.
“Wow,” he said, pleased on her behalf. “Impressive.”
“Thanks.” She eyed the horse. “If only I didn’t feel like jumping out of my skin.”
“You’ll get used to him.”
But she frowned, her expression doubtful.
“Let me go get my horse,” he added.
“Your horse?” she asked. “You have one here?”
He would if he played his cards right. The thought depressed him.
“No. Not my own. I meant one of the camp’s horses. Oreo,” he said. “Big paint.”
“Paint?”
“It’s a color,” he explained. “And a breed. Here, I’ll get him. You can start grooming if you want. Just grab one of the buckets out of the tack room. You know what you’re doing now. I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Okay,” she said warily. “But if you hear a scream, call 911.”
What was it about her that could make him smile one minute and want to avoid her the next? He tried to reason that out as he haltered Oreo, Mac by his side again. By the time Colt tied the horse next to Flash he was still no closer to figuring her out.
“I’ll saddle up if you brush Oreo,” he offered.
He could see her relief. “Deal.”
Mac hung back as he made short work of the task. Colt was looking forward to this.
Aside from today, it’d been a week since he’d spent any time with her. A whole week and not once had he gotten up the courage to go to her room…either to see her or to snoop around.
“You ready?” He led his saddled horse toward hers.
“I think so,” she said, brushing back a strand of hair being tossed by a breeze. He smelled the pungent scent of the eucalyptus leaves and then her own unique smell. Sugar cookies, he thought.
“Use the mounting block,” he suggested, pointing. They’d been schooling the kids on it all week.
“Wow,” she said. “I wish I could have used that before.”
“Better for you to learn how to pull yourself up,” he said, wheeling Oreo around with a tweak of the reins while she positioned Flash to mount. “You never know when you might have to dismount out on the trail.”
“Is it dangerous?” she said, wide-eyed.
“No, no. Sometimes you need to open gates and whatnot. Or I might need you to hold my horse. No big deal.”
Mac followed them at a distance. Colt almost told the dog to stay behind, but the Australian shepherd needed a good run.
“This isn’t working,” he heard her say.
He glanced back. She stood on the plastic steps, contemplating the distance between herself and Flash. The horse had stepped away from her.
“Smart-ass,” he said.
“Who, me?” she asked.
“No, Flash. He knows what you want him to do. He just doesn’t want to do it.”
He swung a leg over the front of Oreo and leaped down. “Jump off and reposition him.”
She did as instructed, but Flash decided he didn’t want to move. “You really are a smart-ass,” she told the horse.
“Here. Hold mine.”
Flash seemed to recognize authority when he saw it because he instantly did as asked.
Colt motioned for Amber to bring Oreo closer. “Climb aboard,” he said, taking the reins from her.
But even with him holding Flash’s reins, the gelding sidestepped again, and Amber, who’d chosen that moment to mount, ended up off balance.
“Grab the horn,” Colt warned.
Too late. She teetered near the edge of the steps and he knew he would have to break her fall.
“Damn it,” he muttered, lunging for her.
But he missed and she slipped off the steps and landed on her rear with a thud.
“Are you okay?” He tugged on Flash’s reins to get his attention.
“I’m fine,” she said, her brow wrinkling as she winced. “The only thing wounded is my pride.”
He felt something strange then, something that took him a moment to identify.
Affection.
He liked this woman…a lot.
And given that he would soon betray her, that scared the living crap out of him.
Chapter Thirteen
She felt like an idiot.
Amber sat in the dirt, staring up at Colt. He must surely think her a dumb blonde. She couldn’t even get on a damn horse.
Instead he appeared as if he wanted to console her. It filled her with warmth.
“Maybe this isn’t meant to be,” she said in resignation. “Maybe I should just stick to speech therapy.”
“Nope,” he said quickly. “Best thing to do is get back on the horse.”
“I never actually got on the darn thing,” she said. Mac sniffed at her, as if to offer sympathy. “Can you have a little talk with Flash?” she asked the pooch. “I don’t think he understands I’m a beginner.”
“Oh, he knows,” Colt said. “That’s why he’s doing what he can get away with.” He offered her a hand. She slid her fingers into his, so big compared to hers. She felt diminutive next to him.
Feminine.
She felt like a woman. And it was a feeling she discovered she really liked.
“Thanks,” she said softly.
He let her go, but it seemed like he did it reluctantly. “Okay,” he said, taking a deep breath. “Try it again.”
She eyed the horse, her heart beating so loudly local seismographs likely picked up a reading.
“Hold still, Flash,” she said as Colt brought the horse alongside the mounting block. “Mac, make him stay still.”
Then she jumped on board so fast Flash didn’t have time to pull away.
“Ha!” Her cheeks hurt, she was grinning so widely. “I did it.”
“Yes, you did.” Colt’s brown eyes looked black beneath the brim of his hat. He turned away without a backward glance, swinging up on his horse like Jesse James fleeing the OK Corral. “Follow me.”
She told the horse to go. Flash didn’t.
“He’s doing it again,” she stated.
“Push him forward with your legs like you did the other day.”
It worked.
Flash moved forward reluctantly, but at least he moved. He tossed his head as Colt led them toward the arena.
“What about Mac?” she asked.
“He’ll come along.”
Colt was getting farther ahead.
“Are you going to give me a lesson?” she called out. That would make her feel better.
“No.”
No? “Then…where are we going?”
“On a trail.”
“How do you know there’s a trail out here?” she asked as they walked past the arena.
“Buck told me,” he said. “It’s all public land. If you ride long enough, you can get to the beach.”
“I remember. I was there.” The thought of riding near the ocean filled her with grim determination. It was something she’d always wanted to do despite not knowing anything about horses. Who hadn’t seen beach resort brochures with a couple riding bareback among the waves? Sounded good to her.
At least in theory.
“How long will it take to get there?” she asked.
“Where?”
“The beach?”
He glanced back at her. “We don’t have time. This’ll just be a short ride.”
“Oh,” Amber said, disappointed. Maybe one day.
They rode along in silence, Amber marveling that in a few hours the fog would roll in and the entire peninsula would be shrouded in mist. She could feel the early warning of the weather change in the cold breeze that had begun to blow. It made her wonder if she shouldn’t have grabbed a jacket. Mac didn’t seem fazed. As they passed the arena, the dog ran toward a thick stand of trees that she’d been curious about—tall pines with low-lying scrub beneath. A path led right toward them.
“Hard to believe we’re only a few miles from Fisherman’s Wharf.”
“It’s more than a few miles,” Colt replied, although it was hard to hear him because he was so far ahead of her. He’d already made it to the trees, and didn’t seem inclined to turn around.
She debated trying to catch up to him, but had no idea how to put Flash into second gear. But maybe it was better this way. Maybe she should just hang back and enjoy the ride.
Heh. Enjoy. Yeah, right.
“Colt,” she called, when she saw no sign of him slowing down.
Reluctantly, he pulled back on the reins. “What’s up?”
She caught up to him. “Nothing.”
His eyes had narrowed. “You’re doing fine.”
“Thanks,” she said. Against a backdrop of pines and Douglas fir, he looked like something off a poster. It was still sunny out, but beneath the trees it was chilly. The earth smelled moist and rich. And he smelled wonderful. The combination of Colt and trees and the out-of-doors smelled…heavenly.
As they set off again, Mac wormed his way through the brush. He was panting now, his pink tongue hanging out. They entered a denser grove of trees, the tall pines closing in on them.
Amber was enjoying the rocking motion of her horse, just as her autistic charges would once they learned to ride, she decided. Something about it seemed to soothe her frazzled nerves.
“I am one with the horse.”
“Good,” Colt said curtly.
“But I think it’ll be a while before I’m as comfortable around horses as you.”
A long, long time.
He didn’t reply.
“How long have you been riding, anyway?”
His hands twitched on the reins. “How about this,” he said as they moved even deeper into the trees. “I tell you something about me and you tell me something about you.”
She contemplated the idea. “Okay.”
“Who in your family is autistic?”
“Excuse me? Why do you keep asking me that?”
He pulled his horse up so they were side by side. “Your passion for what you do comes from somewhere. I would bet it has to do with a family member.”
She shook her head, but in the end, she supposed it wouldn’t hurt if he knew.
“It’s my nephew,” she admitted.
“You have a nephew?”
She nodded. “I do.”
“How old is he?”
“Your turn,” she said instead. “Where did you grow up?”
He clearly didn’t like the question, or maybe it was the game they were playing. But it had been his idea. “New Mexico.”
That took her by surprise. For some reason she’d expected him to say Texas or Oklahoma or some other place known for cowboys with Southern accents.
“Your turn.” His horse tossed its head. “How badly autistic is he?”
S
he gulped. It was hard not to come right out and tell him it was Dee. “Pretty bad.” She smiled through the pain it caused her to admit that. “I didn’t know they raised cattle in New Mexico.”
“Some of the biggest cattle ranches in the world border the Texas and New Mexico state line. Is your nephew the reason you became a therapist?”
“Hey, I didn’t get to ask my question.”
“You asked me about raising cattle.”
“I was merely thinking out loud.”
He gave her a look.
“Honestly.”
“Fine. Ask a question.”
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Do you have any family?”
“No.”
It took a moment for his response to sink in. “Not even a cousin or an aunt?”
“No,” he said. “And that’s two questions.”
“Nobody?” she pressed.
“Three,” he said. “And no. Not a mom, dad, grand parent or uncle.”
She clutched the reins tighter, completely blown away. She’d had it in her head that he came from a big family. That he’d grown up on a ranch. Surely that meant lots of cousins.
Apparently not.
He was staring at her oddly, as if he wasn’t certain what to make of her reaction. The only sound for a moment was the dog’s panting. Colt kicked his horse forward. Flash kept in step with him.
“My turn,” he said. “Do you have any family?”
“Yes.” But her mind was still chewing on what he’d revealed. What would it be like to have nobody in the world? She at least had Dee. That was something.
“Where does your nephew live?”
Right now, with me.
“Wherever he gets the best care,” she answered evasively.
“I meant what town?”
“That’s three questions,” she said. “Why do you want to know, anyway? And he lives up north.”
“Just curious. And that’s not a town.”
“Near Sonoma,” she said.
He leaned back in the saddle. “Sonoma. That’s up north?”
“Is that a question?” she asked. “Because if it is, you’re back up to three.”
Rancher and Protector Page 9
