by Caryl McAdoo
“You think?”
“Honey, God can do anything! Why, a little old cancer isn’t any problem for Him to heal.” She shifted on the edge of the bed. “I saw Samuel and Mary Esther the other day, and do you know they believe God still heals? Who deserves a miracle more than your daddy?”
“No one.” She took a deep breath and blew it out. “But what if I don’t love Asa?”
“Really? How can you not?”
She didn’t have an answer, so they talked around it for another half hour. Then the dear old lady eased right on over to the wedding itself, asking her about flowers and songs and the reception. Where they wanted to have the ceremony and if she’d considered having it right there at the house to make it easier on her daddy.
She loved her aunt who’d been more like a mother since Faith’s mom went to live in Heaven, but bless God, yesterday wasn’t soon enough for the precious old maid. Like she couldn’t have a husband herself, but had some inner drive to make sure Faith did. But she just didn’t feel ready. Not that she could put her finger on why.
Then right before sleep finally found her, a deal-breaker raised its ugly head.
TWELVE
Faith’s second Sunday back at New Hope Baptist played out almost a carbon copy of the first. As the previous week, the co-conspirators insisted she stay, while they went back to their Scrabble board. For a change, she took him to Pairs and introduced him to the Chinese buffet then ate too much like she always did at that place.
After dinner, she took him to Walmart right behind the restaurant and insisted on buying him three pairs of Wranglers out of her winnings. “This way, you can do your laundry once a week.” Got him some snap-front plaid shirts as well, and he was just way too cute. The man might even pass for a real cowboy.
Evening services were maybe even better attended than the week before and just as good, but the whole day, the deal-breaker kept stealing her peace. If she waited, insisted on more time, then it wouldn’t matter. But if she had truly fallen in love with Asa, why wait? Then again, if only the idea of being married to such a nice man motivated her, then she needed more time.
Oh, for the luxury of a long engagement, of a healthy father.
Instead of spoiling what had been a real fun day, she decided to forego the serious conversation she needed to have with Asa. She grinned; maybe see if she could teach him a few finer points in the art of lip-locking by example during goodnight porch time. A quick learner, he and his silly little boy can-I-have-more expression became two red taillights getting smaller in the dark.
Gone.
And she had nothing.
Hadn’t even broached the subject; not that her preacher man had any answers.
Each day she mulled it over until Wednesday, then that night, after he got her back home from the midweek meeting, he asked her outright. “Faith, what’s wrong?”
She leaned her head back and rested it on the seat. “What are we going to do, Asa?”
“Get married. Live happily-ever-after. That work for you?”
“Look, I know I shook on it, but what if…” She turned and faced him. A lone tear trickled down her cheek. “What if New Hope doesn’t hire you? I can’t leave Daddy. You know that I can’t. And you’re not going to want to stay around –”
“Sweetheart, it’ll all work out.”
She turned away. “Look, Daddy and Aunt Iris… They both want me to marry you. Tomorrow if I would. And I will readily admit you’ve definitely grown on me. I believe you’ll make a great father, but Asa… I don’t want to take on an unemployed preacher, so…” She shrugged. “Tell the deacons you need to know. Yes or no. Now.”
“And if they say no?”
“Then I don’t see how we can get married.”
Asa’s heart sank. On hitting bottom, it burst into a thousand shards, and he went numb. He couldn’t lose her now. Somehow it put itself back together enough to pump a little blood to his brain. He swallowed back the sob then forced his lips to smile. “Can’t marry me at all? Or just not tomorrow?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. All of this is happening so fast, how can anyone know? Maybe I am falling in love with you, but…” She put her hand on the door knob. She was leaving? In the middle of the very important conversation? How could she? Her silence banished him to limbo.
“Faith? But what?”
“Take tomorrow off. Get in touch with the deacons and tell them you need to know something now.”
No. Leaving every night was bad enough, but not seeing her for a whole day? No. “How about I bring dinner? You get all the regular chores out of the way, and I’ll help you work the twos together. You can’t get it all done without me.”
“You be surprised what I can do, but fine. Noon then.”
He twisted.
“Please don’t.”
Don’t what? Was she going inside and leaving him on the porch all alone? By himself? With… “No goodbye kiss?”
“Not tonight.”
“Why not?” He hated the pathetic tone in his voice, but out of the heart, the mouth speaks, and his heart did not understand.
“I like it too much.”
He put his hand over hers on the knob. “Hey, I do too, and –”
“No, don’t, please.”
“Why, Faith?”
“Look, one of us needs to be levelheaded. Just skipping merrily along saying it will all work out doesn’t cut it. The only reason I ever even agreed to this deal was Daddy, him wanting me to be settled. And well, to tell the truth, DeWayne.”
“What does he have to do with anything?”
“My forbidden love; it would have never worked out with that womanizing idiot.”
“So I’m second choice? A diversion?”
“I figured marrying a preacher seemed safe enough, and hey, I never expected you to make the week. But if you did… Getting hitched to a nice man would make Daddy happy—not to mention my old maid aunt who passed on what became her only chance at marital bliss. She’s regretted it her whole life. I don’t know how many times she’s told me that story.”
Asa would love to hear it sometime, but more so, he wanted her to keep talking—about anything. Maybe he should sit down and invite her to rock while they talked, but that might backfire and drive her in. Her silence, every time she quit speaking, scared him. He got her back on track. “But I don’t understand. What’s changed?”
“The time factor. Daddy seems to be getting worse by the day, didn’t get out of bed all day yesterday. You and I couldn’t make it financially without your income. All the rush was so Daddy could walk me down the aisle. And if he can’t…”
“Hey, God is our source, and I’m all for tying the knot tomorrow.”
“But think about it. If you have to start over at a new church, and in case you haven’t noticed, the ones around here that could pay you anywhere near what we’d need to raise a family are taken. I cannot leave Daddy. My husband living somewhere else? No. If they don’t make you permanent, there’s no need to jump into anything.”
“So the deacons are keeping me from a simple goodnight kiss then?”
She turned and reached up, put her hand on the back of his head. “Just a little one, then you’re gone, right?”
“Wait.” He took her hands, pulling her to face front. “Father, You are on the throne and in control. You know what we need here and the desire of my heart is this woman. Please, Father, go before me, prepare the hearts of the New Hope deacons for both our sakes. And I give You thanks and praise. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
With a hand on each side of her sweet face, he barely touched his lips to hers, then held her there until he could bear to let her go. Too soon, she went inside, but he couldn’t move. He closed his eyes, imprinted the newest encounter on his hurting heart. How could she leave him? What had he done wrong to make her discard his love so easily? Just like his mother…
Oh Lord, You are my God. You are all I need. You’re my strength and my joy. But Fathe
r, You brought me here, presented me with the opportunity to find a good wife. Please soften her heart and help her see I cannot lose her. Lord God, don’t let her leave me. Make my path straight to the deacon board, send Your favor ahead, give me the words to say, and open their eyes to see they need me as much as I need them.
Faith kept it together until she looked in on her daddy, then tears flooded her eyes. Praise God for opiate-induced slumber. She made it to her bed, hating her logical self for hurting Asa, hated it all to blue blazes, everything. The wetness ran down both cheeks. She rolled over and sobbed into her pillow.
Finally the tears abated. She slipped out of bed and onto her knees. “Oh Father, show me what I should do. Asa is so nice, and… But… Have I fallen for him? Or just the idea of being married? Is all this craziness from You, Father? If only I knew for sure. Thank You for taking DeWayne out of my heart. Oh, bless You for that.” She smiled.
“Thank You for having Lester ask me to rope with him, and thank You that Doc’s still got it. Oh Lord, heal my daddy or take him on home…”
The tears started anew. She wanted him for every second she could have with him, but couldn’t stand seeing him in so much pain. She hated cancer and wished for the millionth time he wouldn’t have been so stubborn and had gone to the doctor sooner before it was too late.
“Why does dying have to be so hard, Lord? Should I let hospice come on out? Tell me what to do. I love him so much.”
More tears coddled her to a fitful sleep. Through the night she tossed and turned. Rising up to check the clock, she saw every hour until the faithful old rooster crowed. One eye popped open, four fifty-six. Bless that bird, Lord. When did she get in bed? She rolled into the pillow. Another nasty ear-splitting crow opened her eyes. Was Roscoe right outside her window? She best get up and get after it. Asa would be here…
No. He wasn’t coming.
Her heart flipped.
Why had she told him not to? She needed him. Needed his help, especially after such an awful night. Besides, she wanted to see him all decked out in his new Wranglers. Maybe she’d fallen in love after all. She lay there pondering. Oh, she hated getting up. She hated checking on her daddy in the mornings worst of all, always afraid he’d be stiff and cold and lifeless.
She needed Asa.
With each chore completed, she slipped out of the barn. His empty parking spot confirmed what she’d known all morning. He wasn’t coming. She’d told him not to, and he took her at her word. But all her stunt had proved was that she wanted him, needed him. Why did everything have to be so hard?
As the shadows shortened, she decided she should call him, tell him to forget getting dinner. She could whip something up. Tell him to just come on and get his self there. But she stopped halfway to the house. No, he needed to get New Hope off the dime, so she could know one way or the other. Then either…
Could she stand him leaving? Was it love that caused her heart to ache at the thought? At one time, she’d been convinced that DeWayne Carter was it, her one true love. But praise God she refused to surrender her virtue, had dumped him—twice. But her decision had plagued her until…until Asa.
She looked skyward. “Thank you, Lord, for that, for keeping me from making a horribly wrong decision. I pray that You’ll show me even more clearly this time if You brought Asa into my life. If I lose him, will I be like Auntie? Is this my one shot at happiness? Is it Your will?”
No answer came to soothe her disturbed soul, give her clear direction. A streak of red caught her glance. Aunt Iris steered her old truck into the drive with a man Faith didn’t recognize riding shotgun? What in the world?
Then as though it had all been prearranged for the trio to meet in the middle, Asa’s black Corolla pulled across her cattle guard before Auntie and mystery man got parked and out of her pickup. She strolled over, smiling at her daddy’s little sister, nodded toward the man—he sure looked familiar—then joined Asa once he got out.
“What’s going on?”
He held up a big plastic sack. “Dinner, let’s eat.”
Auntie stopped at the porch steps then smiled. “Faith, you remember Isaac Stone, Joe’s youngest son, don’t you?”
Of course, that’s who he was, but he’d grown into a man. The kid must have put on six inches and fifty pounds since she saw him last. “Well sure I do, I just would never have recognized this man being little Isaac.” She extended her hand. “Hi, haven’t seen you in a while, I guess.”
Shooting her aunt a whatssup grimace, she followed the two into the house without pressing the issue. Well known for being somewhat of a drama queen, Iris Johnson would have her stage even if it turned out to be the kitchen table. She got a plate ready to take to Daddy in his room, thanking God that at least he still had a good appetite, but he met her on the way.
“Oh no, I’m coming to the table, darlin’ daughter.”
So he knew what was up? Seemed like everyone did except for her.
Chester’s Chicken, potato spears, okra, and a gallon of sweet tea, wasn’t that how the bizarre movie started? But no way she was about to leave, not by a long ride. Once Asa consumed the last bit of yard bird, just as he had twenty-one days ago, she decided the time to get this rodeo rolling had come. “Okay, Auntie, we’ve eaten. Now what’s going on?”
“I’ve hired Isaac to fill in for you, and I’ll be here, too.”
“Hold it. Start over at the beginning. What are you talking about?”
“Your wedding and honeymoon of course. Brother James called me right after Asa called him, and baby girl, it’s a done deal. He got in touch with all the others on the board, and they’re all tickled pink with your Asa here.” The older woman beamed.” They didn’t have one objection to put his name before the congregation this Sunday. He’s declaring an emergency business meeting for Sunday night.”
Could it be true? Was this God’s answer to her prayer?
“How’s next Wednesday evening sound? Brother James thought a wedding right after midweek services would be grand, and that way y’all can have a little trip and be back Saturday, so Asa won’t miss his first Sunday as the new full-time pastor at New Hope Baptist.”
She tore her eyes off Aunt Iris and looked at her betrothed. He grinned so big, she could have put his face in the dictionary beside ecstatic. “You’re obviously good with all this.”
“Yes, ma’am, with all my heart and soul and mind. Wednesday can't get here soon enough.”
Her daddy’s smile was every bit as big, though a bout of coughing chased it from his face.
Aunt Iris jumped to her feet. “Excellent! This is so exciting. Just think of the love story you’ll get to tell your grandchildren if the Lord tarries. Now you’ve got an hour, enough time for me to totally humiliate my brother in Scrabble, to line out Isaac, with everything he needs to know to take care of things while you’re gone, then we’ve got to go.”
“Excuse me, I’ve won the last two games.” Her daddy grinned at his sister then turned and winked at Faith. “I love you so much, daughter.”
She returned his smile with one surely as big, then faced Auntie. “Where is it we need to go in an hour?”
“Clarksville, sweetie. There’s a three-day waiting period after you get your marriage license, so that’ s number one priority, and then I need to help you pick out your gown, but that can wait until tomorrow.” She turned to Faith’s intended. "You need to get yourself a new suit. I’m figuring Paris.”
“I have plenty of suits.” He grinned at Faith. “We don't need to spend the money.”
“No, now I am buying you a suit. Isn’t like you won’t get good use out of it. And there's like a million other things we need to see about.” Aunt Iris nodded toward the barn. “Now go on. Get after it. Your dad and I have words to spell.”
The old lady was so cute, and Faith loved her so much. She’d never known an occasion when she hadn’t stepped up. Taking charge was so her thing, she should have been a general.
Never mind tha
t Faith was going to be a bride, the desire to throw herself around Asa's neck was almost too much, but instead she led the charge to the barn.
Chores, always chores.
THIRTEEN
Took Asa’s intended less than the prescribed hour to get young Mister Stone lined out, but Dad Johnson was winning the game, and his sister wasn’t going anywhere until the last wooden tile hit the board. “Sometimes you take the game with your last word or the letters he has to deduct. Besides, he isn’t that far ahead!”
Faith slipped her hand into Asa’s and tugged. He went with her out onto the front porch. “Bless Auntie’s heart, she hates losing more than anything. Come on. Let’s look and see exactly where we’re going to build our room.”
How he loved the positive attitude. Once on the north side of the house, she nodded at the window. “I’m thinking we turn that into a door.” She twirled around with her arms outstretched. “And we can build right here.” When she stopped, she kept her arms spread. “Guess we can make it as big as we want.”
“How long will it take?”
Her laughter warmed his heart and his face. “Well, how am I supposed to know? I’m not a builder. We’ll have to get someone who knows what they’re doing. Samuel Baylor moved and renovated Mary Esther’s house before they were married. We might talk to him, but I suppose if he gets a crew in, shouldn’t take too long.”
“Sounds logical. Where would we put the bed?”
She looked around a second then pointed to the northwest corner. “Right there would be good. Won’t get the morning sun if we get a chance to sleep in and Roscoe can’t get right under the window. That rooster is annoying, believe me.”
Walking to the spot, he turned and faced her then extended his hand. She joined him. He knelt down on one knee. “Faith, will you marry me?”
