His long fingers lifted my chin, and I was desperately fighting an internal battle. That unknown sensation was rising up from within again. The connection with him I didn’t understand.
“I think I know you pretty well,” he concluded. “Probably better than you know yourself. This is not sudden for me; it has grown over a couple years.” He paused, and I grew panicked. What was he confessing to me?
“There were times I had wanted to tell you who I was, what you meant to me. I couldn’t until now. All those nights I watched over you sleeping, all those days protecting you in the shadows. I longed to be the one to comfort you when Gene and Alexis died. How I wanted to hold you in my arms. This is why I can say I watch over you out of love and devotion. I’m devoted to you eternally.”
He released my chin, and I stared at the rock. I couldn’t believe he was saying he loved me. Why now? He could have told me earlier, but then again I probably would have bolted. He was right about one thing—relationships were hard for me. It took a long time to figure out I loved Colt. I had the hardest time admitting it, even to myself.
“That’s not true.” At least for my immediate purpose, it wasn’t true. His gaze was questioning. “It’s not true about taking a chance in a relationship. If you remember correctly, I told Colt I loved him.”
“Yes, you did, but I don’t think it had the same meaning you thought it did. I don’t know if you truly grasp the meaning of love.” He sighed. “You’ve only had a short nineteen years of life, much of which you never really expressed love. You loved Gene and Alexis, but not like you would have if they were your birth parents. You’ve held a part of yourself back because you were afraid that if your birth parents left you, they might too. You tend to hold your deep feelings back. Until you let them out, you’ll never know the true meaning of love.”
What was this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach? Was I actually sensing something more for him? “Are you trying to take me from Colt, Callon?”
“I’m just telling you how I see it.”
I turned my head down, drew my hand back and began rubbing my ring again. His fingers passed into my vision, and I saw something I hadn’t seen before, a ring on his right index finger. I lowered my hand and took his in mine as I studied the ring. I twisted the thick silver band, and it revealed similar symbols to my Servak ring. Two clover-like symbols were the same as mine, but the others were different. I tilted my head in curiosity, and looked up.
“You have a ring too?”
“Yes,” he replied quietly.
“Have you been wearing it this whole time?” I could have sworn I had never seen it before now.
“No.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t fully understand it until recently.”
“It means something to you?”
“Yes.”
“Does mine mean something for me then? I know it stands for the Servak clan, but is there more?”
“Yes.”
He wasn’t going to give any more information than simple answers, but for once I didn’t want to get worked up about it. “You’re not going to tell me are you?”
“No,” he sighed. “You need to figure this out for yourself. I’m sorry.”
I rolled my eyes. “You say you’re sorry, but somehow I think you just like to torture me, drive me crazy on purpose. Keep me guessing all the time.” A small smirk crossed my lips.
A slight smile appeared on his face. “You got me; you figured out my plan all along. Now what am I going to do?” he said sarcastically. He grasped my hand and helped me up. “Shall we?” He gestured back toward the cabin, and I followed. We strolled back lazily.
“Callon, what’s your story? All this time I’ve been obsessed about finding my life story, and I never once asked about yours.”
“Pretty normal,” he replied.
Stopping, I turned. “Excuse me? Normal? How can you say that? Being Timeless is not a normal thing.”
“I had a mother and father. I was raised under fairly normal circumstances, and my parents died a long time ago,” he said without emotions.
I could see this wasn’t going to be easy. I was going to have to dig deeper to find out. I sighed, and we began walking again. I drilled him with more questions. “Where were you raised?”
“Ireland.”
Surprised, I continued to question him. “Where’s your accent then?”
He chuckled lightly. “I haven’t lived there in over two hundred years. I don’t have it anymore.”
“Where else have you lived?”
“Around.”
I rolled my eyes again. “In the United States or different countries?”
“Both,” he calmly replied.
He was being so difficult. I decided to try a different tack. “What’s your last name?”
“O’Shea.”
I froze in place, narrowing my eyes and turned to face him. “Colt’s last name is O’Shea,” I said slowly.
“Yes,” he replied flatly.
“Are you brothers?”
“Half-brothers.”
“What about Daniel? Is he a brother also?”
“Yes.”
“Half-brother?” Why had I not seen this before? He nodded and I looked down. “Is this why you can communicate telepathically?”
“Yes.”
“Same father, different mothers?” A few pieces fell into place.
“Yes.”
I felt his gaze on me as I thought about my next question. “How many wives did your father have?”
“A few,” he replied like it was no big deal.
“Are you the oldest?” I stared at his hand as it held mine.
“Among my siblings, yes.”
I glanced up. “How many siblings do you have?”
“About ten.”
“Where are they now?”
“It’s only the three of us now.”
Sympathy furrowed my brow. “I’m sorry, Callon,” I said with compassion. “I didn’t realize you had lost family also.”
“It was a long time ago. I don’t think much about them anymore.”
“How did the three of you survive all these years?”
“When the outbreak of war started, we were older. The Sarac didn’t have any power over us.”
I glanced back down and ran my fingers over his ring as some understanding came to the surface. “You have the ring like me because you’re all that’s left of your clan?”
“No,” he replied, and I looked up, wondering what the explanation was. “I have the ring because I am the firstborn of the Consilador clan. I am the leader, the next in line to rule.”
“I thought you didn’t understand what your ring meant?”
“I said I didn’t fully understand it, if you remember correctly.”
“So it means something more?”
“Yes.”
I studied him; there was always something deeper than what lay on the surface. Lately, I felt like I never fully understood anything they told me. It was almost as if Callon was suffering from some inner turmoil, but over what, I couldn’t figure. “How long did it take you to figure it out? The meaning, that is.”
“A while.”
“So you still have part of your clan left? Some who survived?”
“Yes,” he replied calmly. Everything about him seemed calm on the surface…what lay beneath?
“Where are they now?”
“Spread out all over the world. It’s safer that way.”
If he had clan members spread over the world, did I? I knew I was the last of the Kvech, but what about the Servak? Callon tugged my hand slightly, and we continued. I had so many more questions; so much I wanted to know. I sighed and surveyed my surroundings. We were at the cabin, and Lilly was waiting on the front porch.
Chapter 24
“Cheyenne,” Lilly said, hesitating as she stepped down off the porch.
“I’m fine, Lilly,” I replied warmly. “It’s a lot to take in all at once.
For so long I knew nothing, and now I’m finding out everything at once. A little time and understanding is what I need.”
She took my arm, and Callon walked us up the stairs to a seat. Stepping away as Lilly sat, he leaned against the rail watching. It took a few moments for me to realize he was there to make sure she didn’t give me too much information. He never revealed too much, always held back…why? I shifted my eyes to her and sighed.
“Callon,” I said politely. “I’d like to talk with Lilly alone if you don’t mind.” He didn’t move. As I turned, his posture had tightened. His jaw was locked, and he was suddenly very determined. Mr. Evasive had returned again.
I glanced at Lilly, saw her determination also, and smiled.
“Callon, go inside. We won’t leave the porch; we’ll be safe,” Lilly said firmly. He still didn’t move. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see his eyes narrowing, and a smirk began to form on my lips.
“Callon,” Lilly said with more authority. “You can watch from inside the window. You’ll be able to see anything coming.”
He crossed his arms before walking in the cabin. I listened, waiting for the screen door to close before proceeding. He who must be obeyed was overridden by she who must be obeyed. Interesting. I refocused.
“Lilly, can you tell me more about my parents? There’s so much I want to know.”
She took my hands in hers. “What do you want to know, honey?”
“My mother, did you know her well?”
“I knew her the last ten years of her life. I knew your father longer.”
“Can you tell me more about her? What was she like?”
Lilly’s face warmed. “Your mother was special. She had such a passion for life and your father. I have to admit I was skeptical of her when they were first together. She was from the Servak clan, a clan that was united with the Sarac. My immediate response was not good; I thought she was a spy. I thought she was sent to find your father. As I watched her fight alongside him, I knew I was wrong. She wanted to make right the wrong her people had done.” Lilly’s cool blue eyes held such love. “She had the gift of persuasion, though she never used it on us. She was genuine, didn’t want to change people to get her way. She wanted them to choose to make a difference.”
“Do I have her gift?”
“From what I can see, and what Callon has told me, you have some. Not enough to persuade Timeless, but enough to use on humans easily.”
I hadn’t known it was a power. That would explain how I was able to convince the sheriff to leave me home alone, and the bank teller to give me entrance to the safe deposit box. What else could she see?
“So you can see if I have a power now? I thought it wouldn’t show up until after I made the change.” I wanted to know more.
“It happens differently for each of us. I can see things in you already becoming pronounced. They will become stronger once you are Timeless. Chances are you will probably have more than one power, as it’s clear that you are very special indeed.”
I’d also healed quicker than in the past and I had a power already. “What other powers do you see? What else can I do?”
Lilly smiled and her light chuckle filled the air. “I know the boys make fun of you, but I do believe that you are able to talk to animals.”
So I wasn’t crazy after all. “Do you think it’s all animals?” I asked, excited.
“I don’t know. I’ve only seen how Mandi acts around you. I don’t know if I would come out and tell them yet though. It might cause you to be teased more.”
“You’re right,” I laughed. “No need to give them anything more to tease me about.” I smiled as I stared out into the valley, pondering. “You said I looked like my mother. How?”
She hesitated. “Cheyenne,” she said with love, “you are just as beautiful as your mother; the shape of your face, the color of your eyes. Sahara’s would change colors just like yours, and you have so much of your father’s skin and hair coloring.” She sighed. “There’s so much of them mixed inside of you. You are more beautiful than you realize, and I’m not just referring to what’s on the outside.” She reached for my hands and held them tightly.
“I can see into your heart. You have compassion for those around you who are hurting, forgiveness for those who have pained you. You’re strong when needed; you’ve been through a lot in your short life but it hasn’t made you angry or bitter. Instead, your experiences have built character and determination.
“You have a passion for what you believe in. That’s why the boys can’t stand to be away from you. They love you deeply. I can see how Callon and Colt react when you are near. They would give their lives for you. You create happiness, and people are drawn to it. We’re your family now, Cheyenne. We will always be here for you, no matter what.”
I was speechless as a tear rolled down my cheek; she saw the love they both had for me. Love I didn’t deserve—love I had been holding back from accepting. Callon was right: I was afraid of relationships, and until I truly opened up, I wouldn’t understand. I knew I loved Colt, but why was I having the same feelings for Callon? It wasn’t fair. I looked down, shamefully knowing the truth.
“I told Colt I loved him, but down deep, I know I have feelings for Callon, too,” I whispered. “I feel so confused; how can I love two people the same and yet differently? They’ve both sacrificed for me, and I know both would do more if necessary.” I wiped the tear from my cheek.
“Callon told me he loved me, though not in so many words. How am I supposed to make a choice? A choice means somebody gets hurt, and I don’t want anyone to hurt. I’ve held back in opening up for so long out of fear of being rejected. I don’t know how much more my heart can take, Lilly. I’ve lost so much. I don’t want to be vulnerable again. I don’t know what else I can give.”
Without saying a word, she leaned forward, drew me into her embrace, and just held me. It was warm, comforting, loving. I didn’t understand how my connection with her could already be so strong, but it was so different than what I had expected. She knew so much about me, about my parents. It was as if they anticipated me finding her someday, to have her fill the empty void in my life, to be able to talk to her about everything and anything. With anyone else, I would never have admitted I had feelings for two men. I would never have put myself out there to be critiqued—with her I didn’t feel judged. I almost felt complete—whole.
I would never forget her words about love. They were my family now. I had a family, adoptive, but it was mine if I was willing to take it. I could be happy in this moment with Dex and Lilly, happy with Callon, Colt, and Daniel. They wanted me, they loved me—they would always be there. All I had to do was accept it.
Lilly drew back and rubbed my arms. “This is not easy for you. I understand. You’re around them twenty-four/seven, and both want to make you happy—both want to protect you. Things will change soon. You’ll see.” She sighed. “Wait here, honey. I want to show you something.”
I nodded as I watched her walk away, wondering what she meant and how she knew what would happen. “Stay put; we’re not done talking yet. I’ll let you know when you can come out,” Lilly’s voice echoed inside the cabin.
Her footsteps disappeared momentarily. I didn’t turn, but felt eyes staring at me through the windows. She returned with a small well-worn piece of paper, and placed it in my hands. The edges were slightly tattered; opening it, my hands began to tremble. It was a picture of my mother. Tears began to well in my eyes, and I couldn’t look up.
“Lilly,” I said in a quivering whisper. “How old was I when she died?”
“They’ve been gone for over thirteen years, why?”
“I know this face. I’ve seen her before.” I took a shallow breath. “I was six. She was across the street from my school. She came to see me on my sixth birthday.”
“Oh, Cheyenne,” Lilly said passionately. “I didn’t know. I shouldn’t have brought you this picture.” She touched my arm. “I didn’t want to cause yo
u anymore heartache, honey.”
The tears flowed freely as I closed my eyes and grasped the picture to my chest. My trembling lips moved once more. “No, it’s ok. I’m glad she got to see me. I needed this…I needed this closure. Thank you.”
The screen door slammed and footsteps neared, stopping directly in front of me. I didn’t move as massive arms surrounded me; it was Colt. I couldn’t stop the tears as I lay my head on his shoulder. All the feelings I had for my parents, as well as the feelings for my adoptive parents, came pouring out. I had cried when they died, but somehow this was different. I couldn’t contain it.
Colt held me for a long time. Lilly went inside, and he adjusted himself so he was sitting on the bench, drawing me onto his lap. Eventually my sobs quieted, but only after every emotion I was harboring was spent. I had nothing more to give. I knew this would be the last time I cried for them. My dad had always told me to be strong, and I would be. He would remind me that situations were only as bad as I allowed them to be, and my situation of being without a family was over. I had everything I needed here with me now. I had a family; I was a part of something.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “I’ve made a mess of your shirt, Colt.”
“I don’t mind,” he said sympathetically. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” I sighed. “How did you know to come out?”
“It’s a gift,” he said with a light chuckle, trying to lighten the mood.
I popped my tear stained face up. “You were listening weren’t you?”
“Yes,” he replied with a sheepish smile.
The weariness showed through. I couldn’t hide it any longer. “How much of our talk did you listen to?” I swallowed.
“Enough,” he said sincerely.
I dropped my head back into his shoulder and replied in a muffled voice, “I’m sorry.” He’d heard me tell Lilly I had feelings for both him and Callon.
“I’m not. I told you before I wouldn’t make you choose. I will always be here for you—no matter what.”
“I don’t deserve your love and affection. I don’t deserve anyone’s…” I trailed off, feeling completely ashamed of my behavior.
Cheyenne (A Timeless Series Novel) Page 29
