“Thanks.” She studied him a moment. “How long’s the list?”
“Well, let’s see. First it was an astronaut, then for a while an architect.” He grinned. “It changed so many times its hard to recall them all. I suppose that’s what happens when you’re young and impressionable, right?”
Alicia rolled her eyes, laughing at the expression on his face.
“Come on. You must have wanted to be something other than an actor?” Brad said.
“I was so many things in my imagination. I learnt to reinvent myself over and over again. Choosing something for real didn’t have the same appeal. Although...” She perched on a stool at the long island. “There was a time I wanted to be a solicitor. Defending the helpless; righting wrongs.” It made her laugh at herself.
“What made you change your mind?”
“Gray. When I met him, my life changed in so many ways.”
“He wanted you to be an actor?”
“Good heavens no, he was against it from the start. But he came around eventually, when he saw how important it was. Gray always wanted the best for me.”
“So he pulled a few strings?”
Alicia thought she detected an edge to Brad’s voice. She chose to ignore it. “No, he didn’t. Don’t get me wrong, he would have done anything to help me, but Gray respected my independence too much. He understood what I needed – it was a skill.”
Brad tipped his head to the side, debating the question in his mind. “Can I ask something personal?”
“We’re talking about our dreams. What’s more personal than that?”
“So far you’ve volunteered the information. It’s not quite the same.”
She chuckled softly as she moved to re-fill their cups. “Now I’m intrigued.”
“How did you meet?”
The question took her by surprise. “Didn’t you read about it in your research?”
He sat opposite her and made his voice gentle. “I want to hear it from you.”
“It sounds so predictable, maybe a little overdramatic, but he saved my life. Well, indirectly. First he saved Eric.” It hurt to talk about it, especially sitting in a house so full of memories, but it felt important that he understood. “Eric and I were living in pretty squalid conditions. When we ran away from the children’s home, our main goal was freedom. Eric was diabetic, and though we squirreled away enough insulin to last us a while, he regularly got sick.”
Brad couldn’t begin to imagine what it had been like for them – they were kids. “How did you make sure he got the medicine?”
Her smile was sad and full of self-recrimination. “We managed to get odd jobs; helping out in kitchens, cleaning cars, that kind of thing. Then, when we needed supplies, we would hop on a bus and ride to a new city so that we could visit the emergency room at the local hospital. If it hadn’t been for Eric’s illness we could have disappeared without a trace, but because of his medication we had to be careful.”
“Were people looking for you?”
“Well, I was still a minor so we couldn’t take any chances. Looking back it’s easy to see that we were fooling ourselves. But we had enough pride to keep us going for a while longer. On the day we met Gray, Eric was feeling under the weather. He hid a lot of it from me, but he wasn’t strong enough to continue the charade. Needless to say he collapsed right outside an elegant clothing store.”
He heard the subtle change in her tone and sensed she was still bitter about whatever came next.
“I assumed people would come to our aid, but instead they walked right past us. They looked at Eric like he was a piece of gum they didn’t want stuck to their shoe.”
“I’m sorry. That’s tough.” He wasn’t surprised by it. He knew how uncharitable some people could be.
“It was the last straw. I was used to being overlooked, had been all my life, but when they wouldn’t even give us the time of day, I snapped.” A mischievous light came into her eyes. “I suppose I’ve always been a diva, and I really went to town on whoever bothered to listen. I wasn’t surprised by their behaviour. I was just tired of fighting it.”
“Did it make a difference?”
“Not one bit. If anything, I chased them further away. But when I turned back to Eric, Gray was kneeling by his side.”
She could see the scene like ghosts in her head, could almost hear their voices. Her own was raised in challenge.
“What are you doing?” She’d snapped out at the stranger.
“Relax, young lady. I know what I’m doing.”
He did too. Gray’s sister had diabetes so he knew exactly what hypoglycaemia looked like. When he started to bark orders, everybody listened.
“He took control and didn’t relinquish it, not even when we fought him. The need that drew us together was stronger than any one of us alone.”
He reached out to cover her hand with his. “He sounds like an amazing man.”
“He was.” She looked down at their hands and back to his eyes again. “Do I get a question?”
Brad resisted the urge to clear his throat, but he couldn’t do anything about his heartbeat. It hammered warning shots into his chest. “Alicia...”
“Perhaps it’s more of a show and tell.” She moved around the island so quickly he didn’t even have time to miss the warmth of her hand. “Why haven’t you tried to kiss me again?”
He sucked in a breath, fighting the desire to take her in his arms and demonstrate exactly what he’d wanted to do since his first taste of her.
Alicia saw the struggle dance across his face and knew that he wouldn’t do anything unless she forced his hand. Before she could change her mind, she closed the distance between them and planted a kiss on his surprised mouth.
It was all it took for his control to slip. His arms moved around her as their lips parted in memory of the first round. Alicia’s head spun from the potency of the kiss. If he hadn’t been holding her, she doubted her treacherous legs would have held out. All she wanted to do was crawl into his lap and sink into him. A slither of desire shot through her. She moaned against his mouth, pressing herself closer.
Hearing her response sent the blood racing to his overcompensating heart. The ringing in his ears both startled and terrified him. If he didn’t take back some of the control, there would be nothing left. Though it took strength, he pushed her gently away.
“I’m sorry if I crossed a line. But I knew you wouldn’t.”
Brad met her eyes, not bothering to mask the desire in his. “I can’t do this, Alicia. If I open myself up to that kind of need it’s not me who’ll be unprotected it’s you.”
“So you’d rather turn it off than explore what we could have together?”
He shook his head, praying for a way to make her understand. “When I look at you I have to fight every instinct I possess just to stop myself from taking you into my arms. If I give in to my desires I’m not sure I could draw a line. I don’t think I’d be able to stop.”
For a moment, she said nothing. He watched her, almost scared of what she would do next. “I’m sorry. That was unfair of me. When you tell a woman you find her desirable to the point of distraction, she can hardly take offense. I’m so used to getting what I want after a lifetime of being ignored, that I forget there are things I just can’t have.”
He groaned and dropped his head to rest on hers. “You’re killing me here.”
She laughed a little as she stepped back and gave them both some room. “Okay, we’ll do it your way. But there is one thing you can do for me.”
His grin was quick and full of humour. “What’s that?”
“Don’t disappear back into that shell of yours. Let me in a little, without allowing the job title to be a barrier.”
“I can do that,” he said, both relieved and disappointed that she had given in so easily. He had a feeling the next few days were going to be the most challenging of his life.
Chapter 18
It turned out to be harder than he thought.
In the days that followed, he cursed himself for making the promise.
He longed for his safety position – he needed that separation. Whenever she was around, he wanted to damn the rules and take what he wanted. It was a dangerous place to be.
For her part, Alicia gave him as much space as possible. Since she was also recuperating, she spent the first few days writing, taking videoconference calls from Jack or catching up on her world through Sarah.
Thanks to Susannah, the command centre for Morgan and Fairchild was now mobile, and parked on the grounds of Burton House. She ran things from there. His team had cases of their own, in addition to their responsibilities to Jack’s detail. From time to time, they assisted in Brad’s own assignment, but more often than not, they used it as a base to hold their regular briefings.
It was during one of their meetings they discovered the man assuming the identity of Thomas Morley, had been promoted to a killer.
“The DNA evidence uncovered matches a case in Colchester - an unsolved murder. The guy, a dialect coach named Nicholas Tomlinson, took a while to identify. Our man did a real job taking out the competition. He’s one sick son of a bitch.”
Kelvin looked angry enough to short-out the video link. As he was stationed at the hospital, it meant Kelvin’s presence in the team meetings was of the electronic kind, at least temporarily.
“I don’t like how organised he is. I know the original profile was wrong, but it bothers me he’s still holding the cards. We need to know who he really is.”
“There has to be some reason he’s targeting Alicia,” JJ said, feeling Kelvin’s frustration.
“I still think it’s about Helen. Unfortunately, we haven’t turned anything up.”
Susannah looked pained. She hated to fail at anything. “I’ll keep looking. I was following a theory involving Alicia and Jack’s biological father, but it didn’t pan out.” She looked towards Brad. “She was into some pretty heavy stuff way back when. But after the accident that led her to your father, she’s been relatively clean.”
“And when you say clean, you’re allowing for the fact she’s a viper dressed up as a gold digger,” Brad said dryly. “I think we’re right about Helen’s involvement, however indirect. You’ll find it, Suez.” He turned towards the door a moment before they heard the hesitant knock. “Are we about done here, guys?” he asked as he rose to answer.
“Yeah, buzz me if there’s anything else. Good work, guys.” Kelvin’s face disappeared from the screen a moment later.
The rest turned to the door and their unexpected visitor.
Alicia stood at the other side, silhouetted by a security light. “I just wondered if you guys are hungry. James is trying out a new menu and he’s made enough to feed an army so...”
Brad looked across at the eager expressions. “If you can spare a little time, James’ food is legendary. You’d be missing a treat.”
Tommy stepped forward with a woeful look. “I have to go. I don’t suppose he’d do a doggy bag?”
She pretended to look offended by the request and did a pretty good job of it until Justin piped up. “Don’t let those acting talents fool you; she’s sneaky, that one.”
“Still sulking, Justin?” Her face spread into a grin. “Come on, those who have to head out get take away. The rest can join us in a chef’s experiment.”
They practically beat Brad back in their scramble to the door. He’d never seen this kind of enthusiasm from them, certainly not when he offered a little respite from their duties.
James was delighted to have so many guinea pigs. As he whipped up more samples in the kitchen, Betty fussed over them like a mother hen. She packed Ellen and Tommy off with goodies to spare and settled the rest in a corner of the huge dining hall.
“If only walls could talk. I’m willing to bet they’d have some excellent stories about this room,” Elizabeth said, picturing the table in all its finery.
“The ballroom would win hands down.” Stuart shook his head - there were too many celebrations to count. “They were the best kind, our charity balls. I’ve so many fond memories.”
“You should organise something again. I can’t remember the last time you hosted.” Alicia had to tread carefully, and she was normally more subtle. But she knew for a fact Stuart missed the parties too. She turned to their guests with a gleam in her eye. “The first time Gray brought me here I felt like a nun in a brothel.”
A spray of water shot from JJ’s mouth, which would have been amusing if he hadn’t started to choke. Susannah patted him on the back, her booming laugh drowning out the sound of anything else.
“Subtle, Al, very subtle,” Stuart said dryly. “And don’t let her fool you. She captivated her audience, just as she does today.”
She waved his comment away. “I was stuck to Gray’s side like glue, and of course, wherever he was his two amigos weren’t far behind.”
“We did throw some kick-ass parties.” He smiled in memory of it. “I usually stood on the sidelines with Greg and watched as our dear friend worked his magic.”
“So he really was as majestic as they say,” Elizabeth said, trying to see through his eyes.
“From what Alicia’s already told me, he was the original trickster, with a heart big enough to fill an entire city.”
She smiled over at Brad, not surprised that he knew exactly the right thing to say.
“He taught this generation everything they know, and Joshua Burton is shaping into his finest student.” When Alicia cleared her throat, Stuart only smiled. “Of course, he left his daughter a trick or two, and together they drive us mad.”
“Don’t pretend you don’t enjoy it.”
“I’ve picked up some pretty cool tricks,” JJ said. “Our team has a pretty healthy sense of humour, but there’s always room for improvement.”
“Bring it on,” Justin challenged, stuffing his mouth with the leftovers.
“You can both use some of that energy on the job. God knows you’ll have to work off all that food,” Brad said, patting his own stomach to highlight his point.
Justin beamed at him. “Don’t worry, BM. I saved a little running room.”
“And you can certainly put it away, friend. If Betty could see you she’d be half in love.” Stuart’s comment earned a bark of laughter from Brad.
Justin merely looked confused; he covered it with a shrug.
Alicia watched them, enjoying the ease in which they opened their ranks to those they admired. It was mutual. She had nothing but respect for Brad’s team. He was a different entity entirely. It hurt to look at him sometimes, because she couldn’t avoid thinking just how his hands felt on her, or the things he could do with that sexy mouth. It was hard to accept, the way he turned his emotions off with seemingly little effort. But accept it she did; part of her respected him all the more.
When he turned and his eyes met hers, she felt a burst of longing so strong that the slow burning anger burst to life. He frowned, confused by what he saw. Susannah offered distraction when she let out a long, contented sigh and sat back in her chair.
“Do you guys eat like this all the time?” she asked, wondering how she’d ever get from the table to her car.
“No, James is trying out a few recipes because we’re entertaining tomorrow night. We pretend it’s just a get together and not a celebration every year around this time, don’t we, Alicia?”
She felt the colour rise in her cheeks when she realised what he meant. It had completely slipped her mind. “I can’t believe how sneaky you are, Mansfield. I thought you were being considerate when you asked me to invite the team. You just wanted back-up when you apply the pressure.”
She could feel their eyes on her and silently cursed Stuart for using them in their annual battle.
“Does that ambiguous little exchange mean it’s your birthday tomorrow?” Elizabeth asked, looking from one to the other.
“Yes, but it’s no big deal. I don’t like to celebrate, so we do this little show every ye
ar. It’s usually a private gig so I’m sorry you got dragged into it.”
Elizabeth shrugged. “No big deal. If I were you I’d go with the duck or...whatever that was.” She pointed to the remnants of a dish in front of her. “It went down a treat.”
The giggle escaped because she wasn’t prepared for it, and as Alicia clutched her sides, letting it all out, they fell with her.
Brad was watching her face so he caught the discomfort, and felt an accompanying punch to his heart. However skilled she was at hiding it, he hadn’t missed the pain. He wanted to ask her why the very thought of celebrating her birth hurt so much, but it wasn’t the time or the place.
“I think we’ll skip to the end,” Stuart said when he had his breath back. “I’ll finish off by saying that I’m grateful for you any day of the year.”
Alicia stood so she could put her arms around him. “As I’m grateful for you,” she said, planting a kiss on top of his head.
Justin rose, smiling at Alicia with more than a little mischief. “Well, on that uncomfortable note, I’ll hit the road. Please give my compliments to the chef.”
“You bet. See you around, Justin.”
The others weren’t far behind. Susannah was the last to leave, floating out on a laugh at one of Stuart’s stories.
Brad went to catch up with the in-house team, leaving Alicia alone for a few minutes. It felt good to relax and gather her thoughts, but it didn’t last.
Sarah glided in with a bag and a smile. “I hear I’ve missed the evening’s entertainment. You still owe me a manicure.”
Alicia moved forward to link their arms. “You’re late. But that’s okay. The longer I stay awake, the later I sleep tomorrow.”
“I’m going to save my response to that until I’ve had a glass of wine or two.” She held up the bag with a quick grin. “Let’s get this show on the road.”
***
Alicia’s face was a picture of concentration as she applied a second coat to Sarah’s toenails. She looked up briefly, trying not to snigger at Sarah’s dark green mud mask; her friend looked more like a soldier in full camouflage than a woman used to frequenting a luxury spa.
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