by Ni-Ni Simone
“Cousin Shake.” My mother walked up behind him. “What are you doing?” She placed her hands on her hips.
“I’m giving my Fat Mama my love greeting.” Cousin Shake snatched me from the door and started hugging me. “We were ‘bout to hug it out.”
I looked at my mother and mouthed, “Why did you bring him?”
“Behave,” she mouthed back.
“Must be a northern thang.” Khya sat up in bed. “ ‘Cause y’all don’t believe in letting me sleep late.”
“You don’t need to be sleeping late,” Cousin Shake growled. “Only wild animals sleep late, ‘cause they on the prowl all night.”
“Cousin Shake!” my mother said. “Leave these girls alone. Now you go on in Lil Bootsy’s room and get him situated.”
“Yeah, I’ll do that,” Cousin Shake said as he walked out. “ ‘Cause this boy is slow.”
“Thanks, Ma,” I said, as she walked over to Khya and kissed her on the cheek.
“What is that smell?” we heard Cousin Shake yell, as he walked next door. “Lil Bootsy, is this who you said has been passing rotten gas all year?”
“Two snaps up and a fruit loop!” Courtney screamed. “I know the funk miser didn’t put that on me!”
And the next thing I knew a full-fledged argument ensued. “Oh my Lord.” My mother shook her head. “I can’t take this old man nowhere, not even to a college campus. Miss Minnie is the only one who can put him in check. I wish she was here. I’ll be back, Seven. I need to go and handle this.”
“What is going on over there?” Shae said as she walked out of the bathroom.
I shook my head and all I could say was, “Cousin Shake is here.”
“Oh.” She nodded. “That explains everything.”
“I see you’re dressed and ready to leave us,” Khya said to Shae.
“I couldn’t sleep last night.” Shae sat Indian style on her bed. “Like, we have been through a lot this year.”
“Yeah, we have,” I said, fighting back thoughts of Zaire. “But I guess that’s a part of college life.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Shae said. “But one thing I never want to experience again is an M.I.A. period and that’s for real. I was so happy when my period came I didn’t know what to do.”
“So what are you going to do to make sure that doesn’t happen again?” I asked.
“Well, we decided to chill for a while—unprotected sex just wasn’t worth the risk.”
“I hear that,” I said. “I’ma miss being here though.”
“We’ll be back next year,” Khya said. “And y’all promised to come visit me in Texas.”
“Yeah, you know we will be there.” I smiled. “And I guess all change is a good thing. I mean, I’m finally an English major and stopped fighting against it. And I’m single—”
“Any regrets about that?” Shae asked.
“Lots.”
“What are you going to do about it?” Khya looked at me.
“I don’t know.” I hopped off the bed.
“Well whatever you do, you better do it today,” Khya said. “ ‘Cause this is it.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
As time went on our room was filled with our parents, who were exchanging numbers as we all shed tears and said good-bye. As everyone started moving boxes out of the room, I found myself peeking out the window a little more than usual, I guess hoping to see Zaire … which was crazy considering that I’d sent him away six months ago.
“Seven.” My mother walked over to me, as Khya, Shae, and their parents moved boxes out of the room. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I hunched my shoulders. “I guess.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Ma, let me ask you something.”
“Anything?”
“Did you ever forgive daddy for what he did to you?”
She smiled at me. “Yes.” She nodded. “I did.”
“Why did you do that?”
“Because I found myself upset all the time, unable to forgive, harboring things that I needed to just let go. Why?”
“Well … I had a friend—well, he was more than a friend—and, umm, he lied to me.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to tell me what it was? I can push aside being your mama for five minutes.”
I playfully twisted my lips.
“Okay,” she said, “maybe not. Well, tell me this, is the lie something you can forgive?”
“Yeah, and now that I’m not mad anymore I actually understand why he did it.”
“Have you forgiven him?”
“Yes.”
“Does he know that?”
“No.”
“Well then, you have about thirty minutes to figure out what you want to do.” She picked up a box. “Everybody deserves to know they’ve been given a second chance. Now, I’m going to take this out to the car.”
I stood in the center of my empty dorm room and a flood of memories rushed at me, from those that made me smile to those that made me cry and wonder why. I wondered if Zaire would answer his phone—heck was his number even the same? But I guess there was only one way to find out.
I quickly dialed his number before I could think about changing my mind. The phone rang once and I hung up.
“God!” I screamed. “Okay, okay, this is crazy.” I dialed his number again and this time he picked up on the first ring.
“Hello?”
I hesitated. “Zaire?”
“Speaking.”
“This is—”
“I know who this is,” he said, and I could hear a smile in his voice. “How’ve you been?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“The last day on campus, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool, so what do you have planned for the summer?”
“Zaire, I forgive you.” I know that just came out the blue, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“What?” he said, completely caught off guard.
“I forgive you … and I understand why you did what you did. And I know you didn’t mean to put me in any danger.”
“I really didn’t and that’s something that I’ll always regret.”
I couldn’t stop smiling. I leaned against the wall and took a long pause, thinking about what I was supposed to say next. “I love you, Zaire.”
“Wow, are you sure?”
“I’m more than sure.”
“Well, hmph, I’ve waited so long to hear that again.”
“And I guess I’ve waited just as long to say it.”
“Any regrets about that?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“What’s that?”
“That I’m not able to say it to your face.”
“I can arrange that.”
“How?”
“Come outside, ‘cause I’m standing here.”
“What?” I snatched the curtain open and tears raced down my cheeks. Don’t look now, but I think I’m turning into a cry baby.
I couldn’t get outside fast enough. My family and friends looked at me as if I had lost my mind, as I flew past them and into Zaire’s arms. I felt like I was melting … actually I know I was.
“So how should we do this?” he whispered against my hair, as I felt his heartbeat against my breasts. “This is your last day on campus.”
“I don’t know, but I don’t want to let you go.”
“I’ll come see you,” he said.
“When?”
“Next month.”
“And until then?”
“I’ll call you every day.” Zaire hesitated. “Are you sure about this?”
“I’m more than sure. I’m in love with you.”
Zaire breathed a sigh and held me closely to his chest. I wanted to be there forever. I never expected my life to be like this or for me to feel that I could ever forgive someone who hurt me, or even love someone besides Josiah … but I guess that’s what being upgraded was all about—loving, learni
ng, expecting the unexpected.
A READING GROUP GUIDE
Upgrade U
Ni-Ni Simone
ABOUT THIS GUIDE
The following questions are intended to
enhance your group’s reading of
Upgrade U.
Discussion Questions
1. Which character did you relate to the most and why?
2. Do you think that Seven should have broken up with Josiah in the beginning of the story? If so, why?
3. If Seven had broken things off with Josiah prior to catching him cheating on her, how do you think the story would’ve turned out?
4. Do you think Seven should have stayed with Josiah, despite his behavior? If so, why? Does being with someone for a long time mean you have to stay with them forever?
5. What lesson did you learn from Seven and Josiah’s relationship? Do you think Seven should have forgiven him?
6. What did you think of the resentment Seven had toward her father? Do you know someone like that?
7. What did you think about most of Zaire’s family being killed in Hurricane Katrina? Have you ever experienced anything like that? Do you know someone who has?
8. What did you think of Zaire selling drugs? Do you agree with his reason for doing it?
9. Who do you think Seven should have been with at the end: Josiah or Zaire? Why?
10. If you could change the story in any way, what would you have done differently?
