Rainey jerked her hand away. I wanted to kill her. The last thing we need to do was turn him against us. “Thank you, Mr. Logan.”
Cash laughed. “There’s no need for such formalities, Rainey. You’re just as important to me as Holly is. And Blade. Forgive me for not introducing you ladies to Blade Bennett.”
A surge of electricity flowed from Blade’s hand when I accepted his handshake. My nerve endings pulsed and stuttered. The only way to make it stop was to squeeze my thighs together. I gasped, afraid I’d ignite from just touching this man. He shouldn’t have had that kind of effect on me by holding my hand. Blade clearly felt the same way I did. His mouth fell open, and his blue eyes blinked rapidly, but neither of us were ready to let go.
This wasn’t the feeling I’d been looking for. It was something I didn’t even know I wanted. And I already wanted more.
I looked back at Rainey apologetically. She might not have been able to See vampires in her visions, but when she spoke about me fading from her future, the part she couldn’t see was Blade.
No. That was crazy. I hadn’t even spoken to him yet. Rainey stood, placing her hand on my arm and kissing me softly on the cheek. It felt too much like goodbye. “I’ll wait for you in the car.”
“Rainey! Please stay,” I called after her. She never let me tell her about Blade, and I could only imagine what this looked like to her. The ultimate betrayal.
“Let her go.” Cash’s tone had changed, and my heart broke as she closed the door. “It’s what she wants.”
I pulled myself away from Blade and sat on the couch. Emptiness crushed me, and I convinced myself it was for Rainey. Cash must have thought I needed company, and he motioned for Blade to sit as well. He did, but stuck to the far cushion. I had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to stay away for long. The energy flowing between us was magnetic. I couldn’t meet his eyes without feeling like the world’s biggest traitor.
“I’ll leave you two alone.” Cash’s eyes sparkled, our connection obvious to everyone. “I have work to do.” He was out the door before either of us had a chance to say a word. I hoped Rainey had already left the building. The last thing she needed to do was confront Cash. One of us needed a job. She already been kicked off every casino floor in town; her winning percentage on the tables was too good for the pit bosses not to notice.
Blade and I didn’t speak for what seemed like hours. “I feel like we got set up on a really awkward first date,” he finally said.
I laughed, the ice broken. “Yes! By our fairy god-vampire.” I bit my lip.
“Let me put you at ease and tell you all I’m looking for right now is a friend. Maybe not even that. A mentor.” Blade relaxed, resting his elbows on his knees. “My last relationship ended pretty tragically. I’m still licking my wounds.”
“I’m sorry.” I attempted to run my fingers through my hair, and got tangled in the wet clumps. Once I dislodged myself, I twisted it back and threw it over my shoulder. “I think you just watched mine end.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“If you’re going to make some snarky comment about it, don’t bother. I’ve heard them all.”
“I could tell she was pretty pissed off, but I’m just surprised, that’s all.” He must have felt it, too. Then the corners of his lips turned up. “Maybe a little disappointed.”
“You shouldn’t be. I’m pretty equal opportunity when it comes to friends.” I smiled, trying to relax. If anything, I managed to keep things awkward. “How long have you been a vampire?”
“About two months.” He looked down to his lap. “It’s been rough, keeping all the emotions under control.” When he met my eyes again, his faintly glowed red.
I wanted to crawl out of the room. This felt like the worst kind of set up. “What kind of emotions?”
Blade smirked, not apologizing for the crazy eye thing. “The new urges, and the fire. Talis made me a vampire to teach a few of her unruly kids a lesson. Nobody was listening to her, and she was getting pissed. It makes sense now that I’m a vampire, but as a human? I didn’t give a crap about some self-proclaimed clan leader. And she tore apart what had been an awesome community of musicians for her own profit. Once she turned me, she had no plans of training me to do anything. She was just going to torture me for the rest of time. So once I got angry enough with her to summon the flames, I was free of her, but I wasn’t free of the anger. It became the focus of every minute of every day. I’ve done some bad things, Holly, but I’m not a bad person.”
“Why are you telling me this?” A drop of fire dripped from my fingertip onto my thigh, and I slapped it to extinguish it.
His eyes grew wide when the flame appeared. “Whoa. How did you do that?”
“The flame?” I asked and he nodded. “It’s emotion. When I get upset, mostly. And I’ll be completely honest with you. You’re scaring the shit out of me.”
“I know, I’m scaring the shit out of me. This rage inside of me, it’s not me. I was a lover, not a fighter.” He waggled his eyebrows, and I forced a smile. He was still scaring me. “I want to learn to control it. How do you keep it under control?”
“It’s hard. When I fully ignited the first time, it was in rage. But I always could summon fire, like I just did. Usually when I’m nervous, or scared.” Cash had been right, it was nice to have someone to talk to about this. I shouldn’t be so judgmental. I knew I certainly didn’t like it when I was the one being judged. “We’ve had to take a lot of precautions. There’s a chemical shower on the stage.”
He smirked. “I know.”
“Yeah, vampire vision, I forgot.” I wrapped my arms tightly around my middle. Not that it mattered, he’d seen it all. “This room is fireproofed, as well as my apartment. I don’t really go anywhere else. It’s too dangerous, especially now that people know who I am. If I get freaked out and ignite, there’s no telling what could happen.”
“That sucks.” Blade frowned. He moved a little closer to me. A few minutes ago, that would have freaked me out, but my guard was melting. “What do you do for fun?”
“I’ve been learning how to dance. I’d never been on stage before I joined Le Cirque.” My engagement with Fire Dancer never made it that far.
“Really?” The eyebrow was back up. “I wouldn’t have guessed that. Your show is, pardon the pun, hot.”
“Thanks.” I laughed, heat rising in my cheeks. This time it was a good heat.
“You ignite for the show. You’re not angry then, are you?”
“Oh, no. That would be exhausting. It took some trial and error to figure out how to do it on cue. Excitement helps. A little bit of stage fright, too. The baton I swallow helps the fire spread.” I wondered if it felt the same way for him as it did for me. “When you ignite, do you like it?”
The power was amazing, part of my addiction to performing. For those few minutes a night, I was totally untouchable.
His eyes lit up. “I love it. But then I feel guilty as hell because it’s for all the wrong reasons.” Blade shook his head. “Does it help that you do it on a regular basis?”
“You mean, does it make the danger go away?”
He nodded.
“No. I have to be careful. That’s why I try to control as much of my environment as possible.”
“So what are you, anyway?” Blade chuckled. “Cash says you’re like us, but not like us, and I’m sick of bullshit. I think a vampire would break out in hives if they actually gave anyone a straight answer.”
“Isn’t that the truth? I’m glad it’s not just me.” How was I going to explain this? I took a deep breath. “So I’m a Bleed. It means my immortality spreads to the past as well as the future.”
“That’s pretty damn cool.” He came even closer, and our thighs touched. Heat radiated between us. Then I realized I moved closer to him as well. “But I’m not exactly sure what that means.”
I laughed. “Neither do I, really. I was born in the eighteenth century, but I can go to any time I want
, and sometimes when I don’t even try to travel. I just go. And if I’m not careful, it changes things.”
“You can rewrite history.” Blade’s eyes widened as I nodded. “Awesome. Where’s your favorite place to go?”
“Lately I’ve been going back to 1960’s Vegas, talking to a showgirl named Bette. She was one of the dancers in Les Folies Bergere. She’s the one teaching me how to dance. What I do is nowhere near as beautiful as what she does, or did, but that’s the image I want to portray.” I pictured myself walking down one of those grand staircases in heels and a sparkly thong, only my headdress would be on fire. Maybe my pasties, too. Fire dripping from my fingers. But it would never work—I couldn’t sing.
“That makes sense. There’s a grace to your performance you don’t see at a lot of the modern cabarets. Most of them are like strip clubs without the lap dance.”
“You’re the first person besides Rainey that’s believed I can time travel,” I said softly. Maybe Blade could actually be a friend. “My aunt thinks I’m crazy.”
“After the few weeks I’ve had, I believe a lot of things I never thought were possible.” He put his hand over mine. “Or just didn’t give a damn about before.”
“Tell me about it.” I didn’t move my hand away. That strange electric flow was back, like our flesh could melt together and become one. Everything about Blade was overwhelming. It was the same feeling I got when the crowd called my name, but on steroids. And I couldn’t get enough of that. Shit, I was in trouble. I was getting addicted to people wanting me. “I’ve been this way my whole life, and I still have no idea.”
Blade squeezed my hand. “We’ll figure it out. Together.”
Chapter Eight
To say Rainey was just my girlfriend would be like calling the sun just a light source. She was right. I got smaller and smaller with her not in my life. I’d wither and die.
The temptation to go back in time and erase our conversation about Bethlem was monstrous. Rainey hated it when I did that. She always knew. It was wrong, but it was just so easy. And as much as I wanted to make things better between us, there was so much of what we discovered I didn’t want to lose. My mother could be there. And Cash. If I was going anywhere, it was to Bethlem. If only I could bring Rainey with me.
I had to fix things the old-fashioned way—apologize. Ugh.
Rainey took her place next to Lucille, watching Girl Trouble. How appropriate. She rolled her eyes at me as I went by humming an old song Bette had used to teach me a dance technique. I wished I could use the song on stage, but Stephen insisted on modern music.
I hoped Cash would consider something a little less strip club and a little more Old Vegas for my routine. If he really wanted to do something different, he’d bring back showgirls and glamour.
But it wouldn’t matter if I didn’t make the cut, and to do that, I needed Rainey happy. Without her, I’d never be on my A game. I made every unnecessary trip through the living room I could think of. Until now, she hadn’t so much as blinked. This passive aggressive thing was doing nothing but pissing us both off more. We needed to have it out, but not in front of Lucille. The only thing Lucille found more entertaining than her movies was me when I was upset.
“Can you help me?” I finally asked.
Rainey jumped in her seat. “What do you want?”
This wasn’t going to be easy. “I want to make some lettuce tea, but I’m not sure how.” She always did it for me. It was the only thing that made me feel normal again after performing, and I finished the last batch two days ago. I felt brittle right down to my marrow.
She headed to the kitchen mumbling, “You could have Googled it.”
“I could have, but I didn’t want to.” I waited until we were out of Lucille’s earshot. She blared that damn TV. “I wanted to talk to you.”
Rainey shrugged as she pulled a heart of romaine out of the fridge. “Talk.” She ripped the leaves from the core, dropping them in a pile on the counter.
“The whole reason this is getting out of control is because every time I try to tell you what’s going on, you won’t let me.” I filled a pot with water, and handed it to her. “Blade can do what I do.”
She juggled the pot, splashing water down the front of her pajama top before steadying it on the stove. “Which thing you do?”
“The fire.” I picked up a piece of lettuce from the pile, folding it before putting it in my mouth. “But he’s a vampire.”
“Holy shit.” Rainey whistled low. “That’s not supposed to happen.”
“I know. That’s why it would be wrong if I didn’t help him.”
Rainey raised an eyebrow, and I put my hand up so she didn’t interrupt me. “I know you don’t want me working with the vampires, and I understand that. I’m not trying to destroy anyone. I don’t care about whatever their feuds are, or who has what power. I want to find my mother. And I want to help Blade. Think about how scary it was when I first ignited. It happened to me because of the same vampires he’ll be dealing with.”
“I understand that.” Rainey dropped the lettuce into the boiling water. “But that’s not what’s upsetting me.”
“Then tell me. Please.”
She stirred the water, then smoothed her hands down her shirt. “The show. It’s changed you. Before, it was always us. Even something like this. We used to do everything together. Cooking, reading, sitting on the bed and telling each other stories, playing with each other’s hair when we were kids. I know it wasn’t anything exciting, but it was everything to me. You went back in time and figure out how things should have been, and I knew how they turned out.” She stopped, her eyes glassing over in a vision, and she smiled at whatever she saw. It only lasted a few seconds. She shook her head and she was back. “I thought the show was going to be good for us. But it’s made you selfish, Holly. Hard.”
That was the second time I’d been called selfish this week. I winced. Vegas had changed us both. It took our innocence in more ways than one. “I wasn’t prepared for what it would mean to be in the show. The show’s been good for me. It’s given me a purpose.”
“I know that. But I should be the one person you can still be yourself with.”
Tears burned my eyes. “I thought I was. What can I do to fix it?”
Rainey poured the lettuce and water through a strainer into a pitcher. Once she dumped the wilted leaves down the sink drain, she turned back to me, her eyes glassy, but not from a vision. “Just don’t forget about me.”
I took a step toward her, catching one of her corkscrew curls around my finger. I was envious of her curly hair. “You’re not answering my question.”
“Yes, I did.” She brushed my hand away from her hair, one more rejection. Nudging past me to bring the pitcher to the refrigerator, she didn’t meet my gaze.
I followed her out of the kitchen, past Lucille and Elvis, into the bedroom. I came up behind her as she stood in front of the dresser, placing my hands on her shoulders. A gasp escaped from her throat as our gazes locked in the mirror. Running my hands down her arms and circling her waist, I stepped closer. I’d always been envious of her body, too, her soft curves, a true hourglass figure with ample breasts and full hips. Maybe that’s why I liked touching her so much. I was her complete opposite, practically flat-chested with hips like a twelve-year-old boy. If they wouldn’t melt off me the first time I performed, I’d get a boob job in a minute. Rainey and Bette both had that old-time, easy feminine grace in common. For me, it was part of my act. One more thing I had to pretend to be.
Taking one last chance to inhale her scent, jasmine and fresh rain, I brought my lips to the throbbing spot on her neck that made me believe I could fix this. I licked just below her earlobe, and she shuddered under my touch. My fingers found the buttons on her pajama top, undoing them slowly, giving her a chance to protest, but she didn’t say a word. Sliding the flannel top down her shoulders, I met her gaze one more time in the mirror. She stood frozen, like someone had painted her. My lips
lingered on her skin, I moved down to her shoulder. I cupped her breast, skimming my thumbs over her hard nipples, and she fell back against me.
“Come to bed,” I whispered. She nodded as she turned to me, and I caught her lips in a kiss. I sunk back on the mattress when she backed me against it, but this wasn’t about me. It was about Rainey. I rolled her onto her back, my mouth never leaving her body. I wanted to remember everything about tonight, forever. Her body, just like this, laid out before me. Of course, I had an unfair advantage. I could come back and revisit this night as many times as I wanted to, forever. But I still needed to get things right the first time.
I knew how to make her ignite. Her breath hitched in her throat, then came quick as she balled her fists in the comforter. I was truly inside her, seeing through her eyes. She was blind with the red flash of passion as her release crashing through her body.
The world caught back up to us, falling slowly like snowflakes we could catch on our tongues. I crawled up so my face was next to hers, and she pulled me into her body, running her fingers lightly over my arm but not saying anything.
“That was goodbye, wasn’t it?” I asked softly.
Rainey nodded, her hair tangling in mine. She snuggled in against me. “I want to remember you, just like this. I love you, Holly, but I need to set you free.”
“You’re leaving?” I never expected that. It wouldn’t have been easy to try to separate our lives from one another, sharing a bed, but I never thought she would leave completely.
“I think it’s the best way. Then we can both start fresh.” She sat, her smile sad but genuine. She was excited about this. If she really hadn’t been happy since coming to Vegas, this was her chance to take control of the future she saw. I wondered if that made things easier or harder, knowing what was supposed to happen.
“Are you going to stay in Vegas?” Before we came here, we lived in Santa Fe. It was the perfect place for Rainey, all the spirits that communed there. That was the place she was free.
The Fire Dancer Page 5
