She gasped, putting her hand over her heart. Letting that sink in, she didn’t say anything right away. “But then why would he want to hurt me?”
“Because he thought you chose someone else over him,” I said. “You chose me.”
“What? Holly, this is getting crazy.” Lennon slid off the comforter, hugging herself as she walked over to the window, rubbing her arms like she tried to shake a chill. It spanned the entire wall, and she looked out over the Strip.
“I know. Please. Just listen to me. Try to keep an open mind.” I didn’t get up, but I turned so I could see her. She was frigging terrified. Great. “How did Cash explain his relationship with me?”
I figured if I started with what she knew, I could fill in the blanks. That plan also gave me a chance to gauge how much bullshit Cash fed her. I wasn’t naïve enough to think everything he told me was true either, but there had to be a shred of it in there, somewhere.
“He didn’t, really.” She glanced back at me with a much more critical eye, trying to put the pieces together. “He gushed over how gorgeous you were, and how proud of you he was.”
Those words broke me, my heart swelled so big it almost burst. But I couldn’t let it sway me. Even if Cash felt that way about me, it didn’t take away what he done to other people.
“You never questioned what I was doing there?” I asked, the words catching on strangled breath.
“Of course I did. I’m not an idiot. But I knew you didn’t have the same sort of relationship that I had with him, just by the way the two of you interacted with each other. It was a totally different dynamic. That’s one of the reasons I kept trying to talk to you. I was trying to put the puzzle together.”
“Cash was my father.” I knew Lennon’s mouth would drop. “At least I’m pretty sure of that.”
She shook her head. “How can you only be pretty sure?”
“The night that...everything happened, I came back here with Callie. When we came in this room, we saw you, on the bed with Tristan, and he was feeding from you,” I said. Lennon narrowed her eyes in confusion. “And having sex with you. Callie lost it, and I realized it was just a vision. Cash had found the thing that scared her the most, and showed it to her.”
“Doll, you’re still confusing me.” Lennon brought her fingers to her temples. I didn’t think she was as confused as she claimed.
“I think he did the same thing to me.” I was terrified to tell her this. “I wanted nothing more than to find my mother. I’m immortal, too. But my immortality is different than yours. I can go back in time. Once Cash came into my life, he gave me some clues where I might find her. And I did, at Bethlem. She was pregnant with me, and she shunned Cash.”
Any time I talked about this, the visions came rushing back. I welcomed them tonight, relieved that they hadn’t been taken away from me, too. This time, with Lennon standing in front of me, it was more confusing than usual. “I didn’t want her to see me, because I can alter history if I interact with humans in the past. But she ran out of the room, and she tripped over me. Somehow, she knew who I was.”
“What happened?”
“She told me to go back to Hell.” The last word came out as a whisper, like it always did. “She rejected me. When I confronted Cash about it, he confirmed the story. Her name was Lana.”
Lennon sucked in a big breath, she brought her hand against the window to steady herself. “He called me that, sometimes. I corrected him at first, because we met at the bar, and it was loud and we were drinking, but any time he started talking about that place, I was always Lana. It was all so weird, I didn’t want to upset him more.”
“He thought you were Lana.” I couldn’t look at her. “And when I see you, it’s all I can think about.”
“Holly, he tricked you, just like he tricked all of us.” Lennon came over to the bed. “There’s no way that could have happened. How old are you?”
If I told her I was two hundred and thirty-three, I’d lose her. “I’m twenty-four.”
“See? I’m twenty-seven. Some people say I move fast, but even I couldn’t pull that off.” She laughed. Not at me, at herself. I brought my gaze up to see her warm smile, and even though she didn’t believe a word I said, I knew deep down there was more to it than just Cash’s trickery.
Still, it was another rejection from my mother. Her track record, in this lifetime and any other, was flawless. Lennon might not believe me, but at least she hadn’t told me to go away yet. Maybe whatever it was, the thing deep down inside that she refused to recognize but I knew was there, would make her help me.
“Are you upset that you’re a vampire now because of it?” I didn’t know if it was like grief, that all vampires went through an anger stage as they adjusted, or if it was just Blade.
“Not at all. All my friends are vampires, I just got picked last for the team.” Lennon relaxed, now that we were talking about things that she could believe. “Sunlight bothered me for a long time, I already had a lot of vampire blood in my system. I’ve worked at a vampire bar for years. Nothing’s that different for me. I just don’t eat steak anymore.”
“Rachel created you, right?”
Lennon nodded.
“Cash created her, too.”
She sighed. “I know. She’s changed, since he’s gone.”
I didn’t want to seem too eager for Rachel information. To get my fire back, I was going to have to build alliances. “How?”
Lennon pressed her lips together, then pulled her knees into her chest. Not good changes, I could already tell. “She’s more powerful now. Before she never was interested in power, but as she learns what she can do, she’s into this vampire thing.”
Dissension in the ranks. Interesting. “Is she still working with Callie?”
She glanced toward the door, like she was about to betray a confidence. “Sometimes.”
“Is she working with you?” If she created Lennon, she should be showing her the ropes in the afterlife.
Lennon’s eyes darkened. “Not really.” She stood up, heading for the door. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
She was willing to pump me for information, but she wasn’t willing to reciprocate.
“I need to find her,” I said, putting myself between Lennon and the door. “I have some questions for her.”
Lennon scoffed. “For that, you’re going to have to go see Soul Divider.”
Chapter Thirty
The night left a layer of grime on my skin I’d never be able to wash away. I headed back to the lobby of the Alta Vista in the closest thing to a walk of shame I’d ever known. I usually didn’t do things I regretted.
When I did, they all had to do with Rainey. Yet she waited for me in the lobby, her legs curled underneath her as she lost herself in some story on her ereader. She loved to read. It helped her stay out of other people’s heads.
“How did it go?” She looked up and smiled wearily, not noticing I returned until I sat next to her on the couch. The sun would rise in less than an hour, and that meant that the Alta Vista had slowed to a ghost town. I felt tiny in the huge room with just her and a lonely concierge.
“I’m sorry I acted the way I did earlier tonight.” I folded my hands tightly in my lap, unable to look at her as I asked for forgiveness. “I let things get out of control fast.”
“Hey, I get it. I have a thing for redheads, too.” Rainey laughed at her own joke, but she sobered when she saw my face. “Did anything bad happen? You don’t look okay.”
I wanted her to fight for me, not with her fists or anything stupid like that, but it hurt that she could so easily laugh off what happened with Amanda. Okay, I got the memo. She didn’t feel that way about me anymore.
“I talked to Lennon. She’s in denial about a lot of what happened.”
“I don’t blame her, based on what we saw in that apartment.” That felt like it happened a lifetime ago. Rainey put her ereader in her bag and dug her keys out before standing. “Did she have any information
for you?”
“Not anything I wanted to hear. Rachel’s working with Soul Divider.”
Why did everything in my life have to involve Noah? It was bad enough that I had to confront this vampire who robbed me of my powers, but to do it I had to deal with the creature that robbed me of everything else.
We walked in silence back to the parking garage.
“Cirque Macabre is closed. You don’t need to be the Fire Dancer anymore,” Rainey said. She hadn’t started the car yet. She waited until it was safe, just us, to tell me what she thought. “The fire caused a lot of problems. I know it made you feel special, but remember all the things that were harder for you because you had it.”
“Rachel shouldn’t be able to take it like it’s hers.” The fire belonged to me. Callie may have figured out how to use it, but it was still mine. Rainey drove by Circus Circus on purpose. She could have taken the back way, but there was no traffic on the Strip at this hour. Across the street, the Riviera sign proudly boasted the all new Soul Divider show. It all grow smaller in the side view mirror.
“It’s not like she can use it,” Rainey countered. “I want you to think about this. You have the chance, for the first time ever, to dictate your own future. Lucille’s not telling you what to do and neither is Cash.”
“Yeah. Now you are.”
“No, I’m not. You could never see things from the inside.” Rainey reached over and put her hand on my leg. I jumped, I hadn’t expected it, and it just confused things more.
“Things didn’t go any further tonight than what you saw, with Amanda. Or Tristan. Nothing happened.”
“Why are you telling me that?”
“Because I don’t know where we stand. You saved my life, but you’re pushing me away. You’re telling me not to bother trying to put my life back together, but that’s exactly what I have to do. Everything I know is gone.”
Rainey pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex. She’d been sleeping on the couch while I healed, and had given me her bed. I followed her into the apartment, not sure where to go. I didn’t deserve to be in her bed tonight, she didn’t need to take care of me anymore. And she certainly didn’t want to join me in it.
Once inside, she collapsed on the couch, exhaustion setting in, and kicked off her shoes with a sigh. Her head fell back, curls crushed against the cushion, and she rubbed her face hard. In the thick of my mission, I totally forgot she had to go to work in a couple hours.
“I can’t protect you from the vampires. But I can protect myself. I love you, Holly. I always will. I’ll do whatever I can to help you, but I think I’ve made myself pretty clear. That’s not the life I want.”
She was giving me an ultimatum. Her or them. I didn’t want the vampires in my life either, I just wanted to take back what was mine. But Rainey saw it as one in the same.
It should have been an easy decision, but instead I lay awake in her bed as the sun crept through the slats of the vertical blinds, figuring out a way to make it all work without destroying everything.
Chapter Thirty-One
Too much had been taken from me to walk away. Rainey was right, I could decide my own future. If I chose to go with Rainey (if Rainey even wanted me in her life), we could leave Las Vegas and go back to Santa Fe. We could open a shop and get a studio apartment. Rainey could read fortunes and I could sell jewelry. There would be some months we wouldn’t be able to pay the electricity bill, and we’d live off peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Theoretically, we’d be happy.
Or she’d be happy. We’d be doing what she wanted. I’d be a bull in a china shop. At one time, that would have been enough for me. If it wasn’t anymore, I didn’t want to resent Rainey.
I wasn’t the same girl I was when I came to Las Vegas. Even if I could still love Rainey, she couldn’t love me like this.
I hoped I could make her understand.
There was no way in hell I was going to see Soul Divider. I’d be behind enemy lines with no defenses. If Rachel wouldn’t help Lennon, who she created, she certainly wouldn’t offer me any pointers. The guys in the band were even more clueless than I was.
And Noah. Enough said.
“What are you doing here, Holly?” Mario’s eyes grew wide when I showed up at Sin City Vampire Club a few nights later. “The Mistress told me not to let you in, under any circumstances.”
“She’s awfully dramatic, isn’t she?” Mario wanted to agree with me, but he pressed his lips together to hold it in. He was all about the paycheck. “I don’t want to see her, either. I came to see you.”
Mario took a step back, not expecting me to say that.
“I don’t know if I’m going to be able to help you.” I took that as he didn’t know if he wanted to help me. Like me, he spent a lot of time with vampires. They had a penchant for deception, and it was contagious. “I already told you what I know.”
I decided to play it straight, because it would catch him off guard. “Where’s the vampire jail?”
“That’s not a place for a lady.” Nope, he still sidestepped the question. “You shouldn’t go there.”
“I’ve been a lot of places that weren’t meant for ladies. And it’s not something I get accused of being often, so don’t worry about that.”
I smiled brightly at him and ran my finger down the arm of his black blazer. He watched the movement, then met my gaze. “I just need to know where it is,” I said.
He jerked his arm away from me. “You’re not going to get away with this.”
“Get away with what? You’re putting words in my mouth.” I took a microstep closer to him.
“You know what the Mistress did to Cash. She won’t hesitate to do the same to you.” He still wouldn’t answer my question.
“It’s like you care what happens to me.” I leaned in, and whispered, “She doesn’t need to know, does she?”
Mario took a deep breath, and then switched his walkie off. “It’s underneath the Flamingo.”
I’ll never understand why that was so hard. “Thank y—m
“I’m serious. You should think about what I’m telling you before you run off to try to save the day. It’s not the same as a human jail. The rules are different. I don’t know what you’re looking for there, but chances are pretty good you won’t find it. And you might not want what you do find.”
His words were sobering. I wished he’d tell me how it the jail was different, if he did, he might actually scare me away. That might not have been his intention. “I appreciate your concern, I really do. And thank you for being honest with me,” I said.
“Enough stupid things happen around here without you going out looking for trouble.” He shook his head, stepping away from me as one of his coworkers walked by. “If you wait long enough, it will come to you.”
“It’s already paid me a visit,” I assured him. “Many times.”
MARIO SUCCEEDED IN scaring the hell out of me. There was no way I could ask anyone for advice. Rainey was so opposed to everything vampire I didn’t tell her I planned on going to the jail. Bette always smiled sweetly at me anytime I mentioned vampires, the same way she did when I told her about the fire. She thought I’d lost mind. It was impossible for me to go see her now; my power to travel had been weakened. And not one vampire in this city was interested in helping me. Maybe there were a few who’d do it just to stick it to the Mistress, but there was too much risk involved in finding them.
Underground vampire jails weren’t on any maps. There weren’t any signs pointing to the entrance or a gift shop. I made several trips to The Flamingo to figure out how I would even get into the place. It was pretty well known that an underground city existed in Las Vegas, mostly inhabited by homeless people using the wash tunnels for shelter, but I couldn’t find any openings near the hotel.
After a few tries, I got frustrated. Mario lied to me so easily, and I lapped it up like milk. He was probably still laughing at me. But the concept of the jail made too much sense for it to all be a lie.<
br />
All by myself in the parking garage elevator, I hit the button labeled BB for shits and giggles. It couldn’t be that easy, could it? Below Basement, beyond basement, bitches beware, whatever. There couldn’t be anything down there that was scarier than what I was actually looking for.
The doors opened to a long, damp hallway tattooed by graffiti. My heart pounded, and I stopped to examine the artwork. It could hold some clues about what I might find if I ventured further. If. This place was scary as hell. The creaking of the elevator echoed through the hallway, emphasizing how alone I was.
Flames had been painted on the walls, and I took it as a sign. Distorted faces floated above them. They fascinated me in a strange way. Even though it was spray paint, I knew there was a story here. A few more steps away from the elevator, and someone got right to the point. They’d painted an arrow underneath one word. Hell.
I didn’t doubt it for a second.
A black hole stretched in front of me. The elevator gears screamed, or maybe it came from the abyss. It was getting harder to breathe, anxiety strangled every breath. Blade could be in that oblivion, going even madder in the darkness. Now I could make out voices, screaming for help, and my head swam with confusion. I wasn’t sure if I was still in present day, or if I’d be able to get out. The elevator might not have existed in the place the voices tried to beckon me to. I backed away from the opening, desperate to return to the parking garage. Jabbing at the up button repeatedly to make sure it knew I meant business, I starred at the lighted number above the closed door. It had been stuck on four forever. There was probably a family loading a month worth of crap out of their car.
Screw this. There had to be stairs. I didn’t see a doorway, so I pushed the walls, hoping something would give. They were cool and clammy, like a living thing under my touch and I choked back a scream.
The elevator light ticked down to three. I exhaled, thankful for the movement in the right direction. It would take forever again when it got to one, and chances are it would skip over my request. I braced myself for that possibility. I raced back to the elevator, hitting the button again just to make sure the machine didn’t forget about me.
The Fire Dancer Page 18
