I stood for a long while staring at the little blue and white box, sitting on that bathroom sink like an accusation. I felt like it was taunting me for my monumental stupidity and as I tore it open, tears sprang to my eyes. I was terrified. Terrified that Zander was going to be so hurt, angry and disappointed with me. I swallowed the lump in my throat, read the directions and peed on the stick’s felt tip. I capped the damned thing, set it on the counter and washed my hands.
I opened the door and Everett slid in. She sat cross legged on the floor and I sat nervously on the closed lid of the toilet, knee bouncing in agitation.
“How long do we have to wait?” she asked.
“Any minute now.” I looked at my watch and watched the seconds tick by. Finally I let out my breath and with a glimmer of hope stared down at the stick. Everything crumbled around me.
It was positive.
Chapter 30
Revelator…
“Dude, Rev you better get in here! Mandy’s having some kind of a meltdown,” Ghost shouted from the doorway of the house. It was dark out here, the golden rectangle of light behind my brother casting him in deep shadow. I couldn’t see his face so I couldn’t read him but his words, in combination with the strain in his voice had me dropping the bags I’d been pulling out of Ashton’s Jeep and running for the door. Ghost turned sideways in the frame and I barged past him.
“What happened?” I shouted, as I made for the sound of my girl’s noisy wracking sobs. She was through the living room, past the stairs, sounded like she was in the kitchen. I found her sitting on top of a kitchen stool, Everett holding her and rocking her. Ashton, Shelly and Hayden stood nearby and they were all three huddled together wide eyed. Cutter leaned against one of the counters nearby, hands stuffed into these little front pockets on his cut, mouth puckered and twisted in consideration as his eyes roved the scene going on in front of him.
“What the fuck happened to my girl?” I demanded and his eyebrows went up.
“I think she needs to tell you that friend,” he said gently. But Red was inconsolable.
“Everett, the fuck over?” Everett looked at me over Mandy’s head, a desperate look on her face like she’d never even seen Red like this before. Red unburied her tear stained face from Everett’s shoulder and looked at me from across the kitchen as I stood there helpless and feeling like a jackass. I needed to know who to punch before I could make it better.
“Please don’t be mad at me!” she cried and took several short hiccupping breaths. My brows crushed down in confusion.
“Babe why would I be mad at you?” I went to her and knelt on the floor in front of her. I put my hands on her knees and tried to urge her to calm down.
“Shh. It’s okay Sugar, tell me. You can tell me anything you know that.” She quieted and swallowed hard.
“Promise you won’t be mad,” she demanded and I was confused as fuck.
“Baby, I don’t think I’ll be mad but I can’t promise anything until I know what’s wrong!”
She stared down at me, debating, for a really long time before her face twisted with the oncoming fresh round of tears.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry Zander…” she sobbed and I was beyond fucking confused.
“Babe, baby you gotta calm down…” I tried and failing I barked out “Will somebody clue me the fuck in!?”
“I’m pregnant!” Mandy shrieked in response to my outburst and I fucking froze. I stared up at my girl who looked like she was going to hyperventilate and the moment crystalized and hyper focused.
I asked very calmly, very quietly, “You’re what?”
I was vaguely aware of the girls’ faces behind her breaking into smiles as my Red whimpered and repeated herself.
“I’m pregnant,” she repeated. I felt myself break into the most beatific smile ever and Red instantly calmed.
“You’re not mad at me?” she asked meekly.
I stared at her, stunned as her words sank in. My Red, my girl, was pregnant with my kid. Holy shit.
I took her hands in mine while I processed this information and tugged gently. Everett let her go and backed away, and Red slipped off the stool and to her feet. I looked up at her, my hands went to her waist and I stared at her stomach. I felt tears start in my eyes and I didn’t even fucking care that I was supposed to be some big fucking tough guy.
“Let me get this straight, we’re having a baby?” I asked her and stared up the length of her beautiful body. She wore the cream satin nightgown I liked on her so much, her green robe edged in its fiery autumn leaves hanging open. I stared into my girl’s autumn colored eyes, framed by her fiery autumn hair as her calm returned. She nodded and repeated her question, her soft voice filled with wonder and hope.
“You’re not angry?”
I turned my head and put my ear to her stomach, my arms going around her and holding her firm, holding her close. Her hands drifted from my shoulders, her fingers tangling in my hair and I heard a bunch of ‘awww’s’ and a smattering of applause.
“No baby, I’m so ridiculously fucking happy right now… Oh my God… I’m gonna be somebody’s daddy all! With the woman of my dreams!” Out and out cheering went off then and Red closed her eyes, tears gone from panic and fear to ones of gratitude and joy coursed down her cheeks.
“I love you so fucking much,” I said to her and climbed her body, struggling to my feet from my knees. I pulled her mouth down to mine and kissed her savagely.
“I love you so fucking much!” I whispered fiercely and she cried a little but it was ruined in the most perfect way by her laugh.
“I love you too!” she cried and held on to me tightly, while the women of The Sacred Hearts, the men of The Kraken and my brother Ghost all clapped and cheered. I looked at Sunshine over my girl’s shoulder, her face lit like her namesake and full of happiness and I looked to Shelly, her hands covering her mouth, her jewel bright eyes lit with happiness and joy.
Finally I looked at Hayden, whose face was slicked with tears, sure, but even she was smiling and I felt some constriction around my heart ease. I pulled back and cupped my girl’s face in my hands and stared into her eyes for a time before I kissed her.
My club had just experienced such heartache, such excruciating pain and death. I was so proud that it was my girl that would bring life to it again. Breathe happiness into my brothers and sisters, even for this small moment. My woman, my Goddess of autumn would be the one to really put us on the path to healing again by giving us something to believe in, to remember that good things were out there. That good things happened too.
“I love you until forever.” I told her and she smiled, face crumbling with yet more tears as she nodded between my hands.
“I love you until forever too.”
Forever never sounded so good.
Epilogue
Red-XIII…
Back in early November…
I stood by a dude named Rowdy, just inside the door to the Suicide King’s club house and sniffed like it weren’t no thang while their VP eyed me.
“What the fuck did you say your name was?” he asked.
“They call me Thirteen.” I answered with a shrug.
“What the fuck kind of a name is that?” he asked. He was a tall, burly motherfucker, probably six foot three, with long dark brown hair in a short pony tail that stopped between his shoulders. He looked at me with a shrewd brown gaze and by all accounts had more than a little evil in him.
I couldn’t and wouldn’t resist yanking his chain a little, “Well, you ever hear the one about the horse in the bar with the pot of money?” I asked.
“What you some kind of fuckin’ clown?” he demanded, crossing his arms over his chest, his leather cut strained over the shoulders of his black tee shirt. He planted his booted feet shoulder width apart and he had on some hardcore motorcycle boots, the kind you wouldn’t want to be stomped into the asphalt by. They rode under dirty jeans, the blue of ‘em faded and stained light brown with both dust and too many wears
without washing ‘em, which is where this shithead probably got his name from. Pig-Pen was emblazoned on his flash over his chest on the left side of his cut. Dude reeked of marijuana and dirt but thankfully not B.O. At least he had that going for him because he had a shitty personality to go along with the shitty look on his face.
I gave a one shouldered shrug and he rocked back on his heels with a gusty sigh, “Fine, fuck, tell me the damned joke and you better make me fucking laugh or I’ma have your ass beat,” he growled.
“So dude walks into a bar and down at the end is this fuckin’ horse with a pot of money in front of him. Dude takes a seat at the bar and after his second beer, his curiosity gets the better of ‘im and he asks the bartender ‘Dude, what’s up with the horse?’ Bartender shrugs and says, ‘It’s easy bro, you put a dollar into the pot and if you can make the horse laugh, you get to take what’s in it home.’”
“So the dude eyes the horse and has another beer and finally gets up, walks over and puts a dollar into the pot which it totally overflowing. He looks the horse in the eye, leans forward and whispers in the horse’s ear and the horse just starts fucking dying man! The horse is laughing so fuckin’ hard it can’t breathe and the dude, he picks up the pot of money, nods to the bar keep who’s standin’ there fuckin’ jaw hanging and he leaves the bar.”
Pig-Pen does not look amused but I ain’t fuckin’ done so I keep going. “So a year or two goes by, and the dude blows back into town and stops at the same bar. Same barkeep, same horse, new pot of money and he asks the bartender, ‘So what’s the deal now? Same thing?’ and the bar tender, looking smug, crosses his arms and leans back and says ‘Naw, this time you gotta make the horse cry!’ and the dude shrugs like it ain’t no thing and goes over to the horse and whispers in the horse’s ear and the horse starts cracking up again.”
“The bartender raises an eyebrow and the dude turns his back on the bar and faces the horse and does a little something, and the horse stops laughing and just starts bawling, man! This horse just starts weeping these massive fucking tears and the barkeep, man he’s fuckin’ stunned and the guy picks up the pot of money and the barkeep yells, ‘Hey! Stop! What the fuck did you do to my horse!?’”
“The dude stops at the door and turns and says to the bartender, ‘First time I told him my dick was bigger ‘n his, the second time? I showed him.”
Pig-pen blinks at me and starts fucking laughing a deep belly laugh and I sniffed and undid my belt, he stopped and his eyes bugged a bit.
“What the fuck are you doin’!?” he demanded.
“You wanted to know how I got my name,” I brought myself out of my pants and let fly. Pig-Pen looked, I mean shit, I knew what I was packing and how could you not?
“I take it that’s where you get the Thirteen,” he said and he wasn’t laughing no more.
“Yep,” I said dryly and tucked myself back into my jeans and zipped back up. Pig-Pen looked me up and down, considering and finally broke into a broad grin.
“You got a brass fucking pair to go along with it! So you wanna hang around and see if the MC life is for you?” he put an arm around my shoulders and led me deeper into the Suicide King’s compound.
“Oh I know it’s for me…” I said and smiled one evil fucking wicked grin on the inside. This had been way too fucking easy.
About the Author
A.J. Downey has been a resident of Seattle, WA her entire life, that being said she has lived in many different places and many different worlds through her imagination. She enjoys music, coffee, writing (obviously) and a bunch of other boring things that you probably don’t really care about. She is ever so grateful that you either picked up her writing or that you continue to read her stuff!
You can find her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/authorajdowney
Fractured & Formidable: The Sacred Hearts MC Book V Page 27
