Summer According to Humphrey

by Betty G. Birney

  I swiveled around in my cage to see Sayeh’s face. She looked surprised and upset at the question.

  “May the best team win,” Miranda said. Then she added, “And that will be us!”

  I wasn’t sure who the best team was. And I wasn’t at all sure who would win.

  When we got back down to camp, something had changed. There was a group of campers gathered around a tree. And another group gathered around the next tree.

  “I wonder what’s going on?” Miranda said.

  Once we got closer, I could see another clump of kids staring up at the side of the Nature Center.

  “Come on,” Kayla said, and we picked up our pace (which made it a tummy-wobbling trip).

  When we reached the first tree, Miranda elbowed her way through the small crowd.

  “What’s up?” she said.

  “This is up.” Richie pointed at a handmade sign tacked to the tree trunk.

  FREE THE AMINALS!

  RELEASE OUR WILD AMINALS!

  (Even though it was spelled “Aminals,” I think we all knew what it meant.)

  In smaller letters underneath, the signs said:FREE LOVEY, JAKE, OG, HUMFRY.

  (The sign maker was definitely not a good speller.)

  “Eeek!” I said without even thinking.

  “Free Humphrey?” Miranda sounded truly puzzled.

  “That’s not right,” Sayeh added.

  “I am not a wild animal!” I protested. “Or aminal!”

  “He is not a wild animal,” Sayeh repeated, even though she probably didn’t understand what I’d said. We just thought alike.

  Just then Counselor Katie approached. When she saw all the kids gathered, she came up to check things out. “What’s going on?” she asked.

  “This.” Miranda pointed to the sign.

  Katie studied the sign and said, “Oh.” She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her shorts and asked, “Who put this up?”

  “Duh,” Richie said. “It must be Noah. All he talks about is animals.”

  Now, talking about animals is not a bad thing. In fact, I usually think it’s a very good thing.

  But even though Noah cared a lot about animals—and he did—I was almost as frightened of him as I was of the hootie owl, the hawk and the Howler.

  “I’ll talk to him,” Katie said.

  She left and the campers scattered. Miranda took me back to the Nature Center and set me on the table next to Og.

  We were alone then, except for Lovey and Jake, who were on the other end of the table.

  I was still thinking about that hawk.

  “Listen, Og,” I said. “Noah wants to free us. But I’ve been out there and I just want to say, you might not want to be free.”

  “BOING.” It was a quiet response.

  “I’m just saying there are some dangerous creatures out there who are our enemies. They don’t like hamsters and frogs at all, except maybe for dinner.” I realized I was getting slightly hysterical. “Like owls and hawks and snakes!”

  I was sorry as soon as I said it. I craned my neck to try and see Jake in his cage, but Lovey’s crate blocked him.

  “Maybe you don’t feel that way, Jake,” I said. My voice was a little weak. “I’m sure you’re a friendly snake, like I’m a friendly hamster and Og’s a friendly frog,” I added, hoping it would help.

  I’m afraid I didn’t sound very convincing.

  I crossed my paws and HOPED-HOPED-HOPED that I would not spend the night with the Bobwhites—and Noah—that particular night.

  NOTE TO SELF: It’s great to be free-but only when you want to be!

  16

  Onstage at the Comedy Club

  Despite the disturbing signs, my day out had done me a world of good and I was planning on a long, dozy evening in somebody’s cabin.

  But I had forgotten one thing: it was Happy Hollow Comedy Club night. And as much as I would have liked a nap, I knew I wouldn’t get one.

  After dinner, Aldo brought Og and me into the dining hall and gave us a ringside seat near the stage. It looked a lot bigger than it ever had before.

  I was concentrating on remembering my part when Hap Holloway came out onstage with a very serious look on his face.

  “Before we start, we need to do a little talking,” he said. “There were some signs that went up today about freeing our animals. First off, if you want to talk about a problem, just come to me. No need to put up signs anonymously.”

  “Anonymous” was the funny name people called themselves when they didn’t want to give out their real names.

  “It’s a good issue to discuss,” he said. “So let me say this: We’re hoping to release Lovey, but only when she’s completely healed. Jake has been our camp mascot for a while, but I’d be happy to see how you all feel about releasing him.”

  I gulped hard. It sounded like Hap Holloway was in favor of letting us all go wild. My whiskers twitched as I listened intently.

  “As for Og and Humphrey, they are pets. They are not to be released into the wild. They are only on loan to us. Understand?” He waited and there was an uproar from the crowd.

  Half of them were chanting, “Hum-phree! Hum-phree! Hum-phree!”

  The other half chanted, “Og-Og-Og-Og-Og!”

  Noah wasn’t chanting. He was just watching the other campers, looking surprised.

  The noise was deafening—until Mrs. Wright gave a mighty blow on her whistle.

  “There will be order!” she exclaimed.

  And there was, because the skits began.

  The Blue Jays got the show off to a great start. A.J. started this one by coming out onstage, intently looking down at the floor. Aldo came out and asked him what he was doing.

  “I’m trying to figure out what kind of tracks these are,” A.J. answered loudly, pointing at the ground.

  Aldo said, “They look like wolf tracks to me.”

  Then Simon came in and asked Aldo and A.J. what they were doing. When they explained, Simon said, “They look like bear tracks to me.”

  Brad came in and asked what they were doing and said, “They look like badger tracks to me.”

  This went on a few times with the other Blue Jays until A.J. came rushing in again and said, “You guys! Those are train tracks!”

  Suddenly Richie came in, leading Ms. Mac, Aldo and Maria and even Mrs. Wright directly toward the rest of the boys. They were hanging on to each other’s waists, huffing and puffing, tooting and chugging—yes, Mrs. Wright blew her whistle—like a real train while the Blue Jays ran off screaming.

  The skit was a hit! I laughed and cheered and so did the others.

  I was so HAPPY-HAPPY-HAPPY for the Blue Jays, I almost forgot that I would have to be out there soon.

  The Chickadees came next. One by one, they joined Abby, who was standing with her legs deeply bent, just as they’d look if she were sitting on a real bench. (There was no bench, but they did a good job of pretending to sit on one.)

  Once all the girls were sitting on the “bench,” Maria came strolling by and asked them what they were doing.

  “We’re sitting on this invisible bench,” Marissa answered.

  “Oh,” Maria said. Then she pointed to the other side of the stage. “But I moved it over there yesterday.”

  With that, the Chickadees all tumbled to the floor, while the crowd laughed and clapped. I clapped, too.

  Next up were the Bobwhites. They all appeared onstage holding balloons. Super-Sam came out and directed them like an orchestra conductor. All together, they let the air out of their balloons a little at a time and—you won’t believe it—it sounded just like the song “Jingle Bells”! It was such a silly sound, the crowd laughed so loud you could hardly hear the end of the song! When it was finished, they all took deep bows.

  I was cheering, too, until Miranda came and whisked my cage off the table—a little roughly, I must say.

  “Bye, Og! Enjoy the show!” I squeaked to my friend.

  Ms. Mac and the other Robins were s
etting up a stand-alone door on the stage with the curtains on either side of it while Miranda put my cage directly behind it.

  “Okay, Humphrey,” Miranda said in a calming voice. “It’s showtime. You know what to do.”

  I was all alone in the middle of the stage (although no one could see me—yet).

  The skit began as Kayla came up to the door and opened it partway. Then she slammed it shut and immediately began running around the stage screaming, “Help! Help!”

  Lindsey ran onstage and asked her what was wrong.

  “There’s a monster behind the door! A big scary monster!” she yelled.

  “No way,” said Lindsey. Then she opened the door, shut it again and began running around the stage shouting, “Help! Help!”

  When Miranda came out and asked what was wrong, Lindsey described the monster’s glowing eyes, red fangs and ugly face. Then she asked if anybody was brave enough to take a look at it.

  Gail was next. She took one look, screamed and ran away. Oh, she was a good screamer, too.

  The rest of the Robins did the same.

  My ears were twitching from all that screaming and I was feeling a little itchy and twitchy.

  Finally, Kayla addressed the audience. “Is anyone out there brave enough to look behind the door?” she asked.

  Ms. Mac stood up. (This was all arranged ahead of time, I have to admit.)

  “I will,” she said. Then she came up onstage, opened the door wide and jumped back, screaming.

  At the same time, Miranda came from behind me and pushed my cage out onto the stage so everyone could see me.

  “A monster! A monster!” she screamed, running around the stage. She acted really scared.

  There I was, on the big stage with all the campers watching. As soon as everyone saw me, they smiled and started laughing, because they knew I was no monster.

  “Eek!” I said, though I’m not sure how well my voice carried, especially over all the applause.

  “Hum-phree! Hum-phree! Hum-phree!” everyone shouted.

  The Robins all came out onstage and took a bow. They looked so proud. Gail had the biggest smile of all. She hadn’t sniffled in a long time.

  My heart was still pounding when Miranda put me back on the table.

  “Thanks for saving us, Humphrey,” she said. Her eyes were sparkling and her cheeks were pink.

  “Anytime,” I answered. And I meant it.

  When she was gone, I turned to my neighbor.

  “How’d I do, Og?” I asked.

  Og made an impressive dive to the bottom of his cage, then came out of the water, up on his rock and twanged, “BOING-BOING-BOING!”

  It was better than any applause.

  Then the older campers put on their skits and did some funny songs, too.

  It was hilarious . . . and it lasted way more than an hour!

  That night, I stayed with the Bobwhites. They were still playing crazy songs with their balloons.

  Once lights were out for the night, they talked a little bit in the dark about Haunted Hollow.

  “Do you really think we’ll get to see the Howler?” Richie asked.

  “It’s a cinch,” said Sam. “I’ve got you covered in volleyball, canoeing, swimming and archery.”

  “You can handle the outdoor skills, can’t you, Noah?” Garth asked.

  Noah’s mind seemed to be far, far away. “Huh? Oh, sure. I know a lot about that stuff.”

  “Bobwhites forever!” said Garth.

  “Bobwhites forever!” the other boys chimed in.

  I squeaked along with them, but by now, I really didn’t know who to root for.

  The next morning, right before breakfast, Sayeh slipped into the rec room to visit Og and me.

  “I am very tired today,” she told us. “Last night Abby marked up the whole cabin with twigs and rocks so we could practice reading trail markings. We even got in trouble for keeping our lights on too late.” Sayeh sighed. “That won’t help our camp spirit score.”

  “MY-MY-MY.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. Here I’d been listening to funny balloon music while Sayeh had to work late!

  “I tell you, Humphrey, I like Camp Happy Hollow very much, but I’ll be glad when the Clash of the Cabins is over so we can relax and have fun,” she said.

  Suddenly, a deep voice spoke. “What’s this? An unhappy camper?”

  It was Hap Holloway. He’d been standing at the door, listening.

  Sayeh jumped when she heard him, but when she turned to look at him, he had a friendly smile on his face.

  “I’m always looking for ways to make Camp Happy Hollow a happier place,” he said. “It sounds like you might have some good ideas, Sayeh. Why don’t you come to my office and we’ll talk for a few minutes?”

  Sayeh looked down at the floor. I was hoping for her sake that she didn’t cry.

  “You’ll be doing me a favor,” Hap said in a softer voice.

  “Okay,” Sayeh said. “If it will help you.”

  Then she followed Hap out of the rec room. I watched her through the window, following him up to a cabin where he and the counselors had an office.

  She glanced back at me once and I gave her a wave of my paw.

  “Good luck, Sayeh,” I said, wishing with all my heart she could hear me.

  NOTE TO SELF: An hour of comedy is FUN-FUN-FUN, but laughs don’t always last.

  17

  The Case of the Missing Frog

  I kept my eyes fixed on the office building, but it was a long time before I saw Sayeh leave again. Even from a distance, I could see that she was smiling! And she gave a happy wave to Hap Holloway as she skipped back down the path.

  How I wished I could have heard their conversation!

  At last, it was a peaceful day. Sayeh was still smiling the next time I saw her, and Brad and Gail both seemed more relaxed. Brad talked to lots of people now and so did Gail. Who would have thought a couple of stickers could do that much good?

  Garth and the Bobwhites were brimming with confidence that they would be spending the night at Haunted Hollow, and who would doubt it, with Super-Sam on their team? But Abby and the Chickadees stood strong and tall and still thought they had a chance.

  Miranda and the other Robins were more relaxed, too, since their skit had gone over well.

  I thought maybe it was time for me to kick back and just enjoy camp. I was so relaxed, I took a nice long doze while my friends were off on their hike.

  But I was wide awake when Ms. Mac made an announcement at the end of the session. “Tomorrow we start two days of competitions to cap the Clash of the Cabins competition. The nature quizzes will be tomorrow, for anyone who wants to take them,” she said. “Good luck, campers, and have a great time!”

  I felt a little shiver of excitement but also uneasiness. So soon? I thought. Were my friends ready? Was I ready?

  I hopped on my wheel to relieve my anxiety. It didn’t work.

  I spent that night with the Blue Jays, but they left for a while to go to the evening campfire. I wasn’t sure what was special about campfire nights, but my friends were always keyed up when they came back.

  “I’ve just got to see that Howler,” A.J. said. “It would be awful if my little brother, Ty, got to see him and I didn’t.”

  “We’ve got a good shot,” Richie said.

  “Yeah. Blue Jays rule!” That was Brad, and whether or not the Blue Jays got to spend the night in Haunted Hollow, he was still a winner in my book.

  Richie took me down to the rec room the next morning. I was there before Og, but I didn’t think anything of it at first. I was busy watching my friends streaming into Happy Hollow Hall, chattering away.

  Og still wasn’t there by the time breakfast began. I was puzzled, but I was also interested in how the whole atmosphere of camp had changed. While the kids in different cabins often hung out together during their free time, I noticed that today the campers who shared cabins stuck together.

  The place just sounde
d different.

  “Bob-whites! Bob-whites!” came the call from one table.

  “Chick-a-chick-a-chickadees!” came from another.

  A.J. led his cabin’s “Blue Jays rule!” chant.

  “Robins! Robins! Rah-rah-rah!” was followed by a lot of giggling.

  I heard it all, but Og didn’t. Because Og had never arrived.

  “Maybe somebody already took him over to the Nature Center,” Ms. Mac said as she carried my cage down the path after breakfast. Sure, somebody took him over to the Nature Center, I figured. But who?

  As soon as we entered, I knew something was VERY-VERY-VERY wrong. Og’s tank was there all right . . . but Og wasn’t in it. I could see right away that he hadn’t popped the top himself, because it was firmly in place.

  Lovey, who was usually calm and quiet, was flapping her wings and making excited sounds. Even Jake wiggled more than usual.

  Ms. Mac set my cage down and checked the tank to make sure Og wasn’t hiding behind a plant.

  Some of the campers were gathering to take their nature quizzes. Ms. Mac asked them if they’d seen Og, but no one had.

  Katie came in and she was pretty upset at the news. She organized the kids and they searched every inch of the room, under chairs and in potted plants.

  “Og! Where are you!” I squeaked at the top of my lungs. “Og! Come out! We’re worried!”

  I waited to hear a friendly “BOING-BOING,” but it didn’t come.

  The rest of the morning was a blur. The very loud bell rang to call all the campers to the dining hall. Thank goodness, Ms. Mac took me, too.

  Once everyone was gathered, Hap Holloway got up onstage and explained that Og was missing. That caused quite a stir. I thought Miranda was going to cry!

  Hap asked if anyone knew what had happened to him.

  There was a lot of shuffling and whispering. Finally, Noah stood up.

  “I know,” he said.

  You can bet that all eyes were on Noah. He didn’t seem very happy about it.

  “Where is he?” I screeched.

  Hap motioned for him to come up to the stage. “Come on up here, Noah, and tell me.”