by J. Naomi Ay
"Why don't you..." I started to say instead.
"They are flooding the streets of Mishnah too," he grumbled. "Surrounding the Palace, trapping everyone inside."
"And you're not even there," I declared.
"Are you?" Tuman asked.
"It's possible," Katie replied. "Metaphysically."
"No, I am not there," my son snapped. "I am only here, imprisoned with the lot of you."
"On gosh, poor Senya," my daughter simpered. "Stuck in this little house with only one elderly manservant to wait on him hand and foot. How will he ever survive in such depraved conditions?"
"Stop it!" he snapped.
"That's enough, Katie," Tuman said, releasing her arms from around him and sitting on the sofa across from us. Katie returned to the window and stood there looking outside.
"Isn't there anything you can do?" I appealed to my son.
"About the hordes outside or about her?" he replied, pointing at the lady with a cigarette before placing it in his mouth.
"Both," my brother said.
"Can you not call in your Imperial Guard to disperse the crowd?" I suggested. "And can you not sleep with your wife so she will cease to be such a wicked witch?" I said this last bit in Karupta so the lady would not understand me.
"You think that will do it?" He breathed out smoke like a dragon.
"Which one?" Tuman asked.
"Both," I replied.
"Right now fucking her would be more of a chore than a pleasure," he sighed. "And I can't bring in the guards and violate Karupatani sovereignty despite how overrun the village has become."
"You are the King of Karupatani, you can do whatever you wish here," Tuman reminded him, "including violating the sovereignty."
"I recall that I am the king," Senya nodded. "But I still won't violate the sovereignty."
"Maybe you can cause a nasty weather disturbance?" I suggested. "You haven't done a trembler or tornado in a while, have you?" At this moment, Rekah arrived.
"Ay yah!" he declared. "What has brought this upon us?" He slammed the front door.
"Your cousin," Tuman said now getting up to go look through the refrigerator. "He has confirmed your mother's supposition that he is a Heavenly creature by miraculously fixing a child's crushed skull. Now all and sundry wish to gaze upon his magnificence."
"Ok," Rekah nodded and joined his father at the refrigerator.
"Do your own wives not feed you?" I declared.
"Mine is too busy granting interviews to the press throughout the Empire. Perhaps soon she will go on a book tour and then I will finally have some peace and quiet."
"Mine are all prostrate upon the dirt outside as if they have never before seen our cousin." Rekah stuck his fingers in a dish and extracted a confection dripping with sugar.
"Katie made cinnamon rolls," Tuman told him. "They are quite good."
"Indeed," Rekah said, taking a bite out of one and then raising it in a toast to her. She glared back at him from the window box. "How did you repair the child's head, Sir?" He turned toward my son.
"It's complicated," Katie replied.
Senya shrugged and finished his cigarette. He flicked his fingers, and it disappeared. "Go upstairs, Madame," he ordered. "I find your presence an irritant."
"Oh gosh, I’m so sorry, Your Imperial Angelness," she replied but didn’t move. The clamor outside seemed to grow even louder.
"Perhaps I will confine you to a tower after all," Senya mused, "along with your mother and your brother. The tower shall have only a massive kitchen where you will spend your remaining days turning out cinnamon rolls and chocolate chip cookies. You will all grow very fat and annoying. Ach, you are all already very annoying."
"How anyone could ever mistake you for something angelic is beyond my comprehension," Katie replied. "Would it help if I went outside and swore a blood oath to everyone that you're an arrogant asshole and a dickhead? Maybe then they'll realize they've all made a mistake and go home."
"So how are we to resolve this?" I sighed.
"What?" Rekah asked.
"The throngs out there." I pointed emphatically at the door.
"And the frosty atmosphere in here," my brother added.
"I'll just do something entirely un-angelic." Senya got up and joined the others in the kitchen, picking at the remnants in the tray of cinnamon rolls. "I'll go out there and kill someone. Any suggestions as to whom?" He raised an eyebrow at Katie.
"Bad idea," I said. "Do something else."
"What else would be considered un-angelic behavior?" Rekah asked.
"Sex," my brother replied. "Angels are thought to be sexless and above such a base, animalistic activity. And of course they cannot reproduce in this manner, so there is no point in it."
The lady made a snorting noise again. "Yep, definitely not Senya. Just about every woman in this village can testify to that. Why don't we call them all upon the porch one by one and they can each tell a story about how Senya took their virginity? That ought to send everybody home fairly quickly."
"I don't understand," Rekah said, a puzzled expression on his face. "Every one knows this. Why do they still think..."
"You will have to read chapter 17 in your mother's book to understand that." Tuman scrapped his finger around the bottom of the pan and extracted some icing. He put it in his mouth as the cacophony outside got louder still.
"Senya, please," I sighed. "Do something to stop this. I fear for the village septic system."
"There is naught I can do," Senya replied. "Are there any more of these?"
"I ate the last one," Rekah said. "I'm sorry, Cousin."
"Did Keko not just bring you breakfast?" I cried. "The lot of you are standing around eating whilst our village is being overrun. I do not understand any of you. You are all bloody insane." They all glanced at me as if I were the crazy one.
"I tire of Keko's eggs." My son ignored me, opening the refrigerator and sniffing inside. "Katie, come make me something.”
"Yes, Massa," the lady called from the window but did not budge from her perch.
"What shall we have?" Rekah asked.
"I would like tuna fish salad," my brother said. "Have I ever told you how much I enjoy Katie's tuna fish salad sandwiches?"
"Yes, every bloody day!" I screamed and rose to my feet. "If none of you will go out there and tell these people to go home than I shall. I have had absolutely enough of this."
"I'll go," Katie said and headed to the door.
"What will you tell them?"
"I don't know," she shrugged. "Maybe I'll just listen to their complaints and give them advice. I seem to be very good at that. Want to come translate, Sorkan?"
"I will," Rekah offered.
"No, thanks. Sorkan? Tuman?"
Tuman and I glanced at each other.
"Ach no," Senya said and made a move to go back upstairs.
"Come now, Senya," I said and intercepted him. "It may be the only way to end this invasion."
"Go on," Tuman agreed, catching his other arm. "Go out there and show yourself to be a normal man. Well, as near normal as you can be and when you are finished, and they have dispersed, perhaps Katie will make us lunch."
“Come on, Mike,” the lady waved. “You got us into this mess, so now you can get us out of it.”
“Mike?” Rekah repeated.
“Chapter 12 in your mother's book,” Tuman replied.
As soon as Senya came outside, the crowd grew silent. He limped across his front porch and sat down in my father's chair whilst Wertoka and Keko brought out chairs for the rest of us. The lady sat next to him though she turned her back to him and crossed her arms in front of her chest.
“Rekah, call the people forward,” I said, gazing across the sea of bodies, bowed over in obeisance, flowing out of the woodlands and into the village proper. Rekah named someone from our own village who was in the first row.
A young man stepped forward and then fell to his knees again.
“Sir,” he said in a
shaky voice. “I have an affliction of the skin.” He held out his arm and showed us the scaly red bumps upon it. “It is always itchy and bothersome to me. Can you fix it?”
Senya's brow furrowed, and he lit yet another cigarette.
“There is a SdK hospital in Turko,” Katie said to which Tuman translated. “We have really good dermatologists at the clinic there. You need to go there, and they will cure you of this.”
The man looked at Senya who was casually smoking his cigarette, his eyes blankly flickering toward the sky. Rekah called another forward. This time it was a woman with a small boy. They made obeisance, and then the mother told how the boy was small for his age and weak.
“What is he eating?” Katie asked. The mother described his diet. “He needs more vitamins,” Katie decided and told her so. “He should be drinking three glasses of milk a day too.”
“He doesn't like milk,” the mother replied. “It upsets his stomach.”
“Then he should be drinking goat milk,” Katie suggested. “And eating yogurt and cheese. He needs more protein and calcium.”
Senya breathed great puffs of grey smoke into the air and looked bored. Rekah picked at the dirt beneath his fingernails and looked bored. I was bored. Another woman came forward and fell to her knees. In a shaky voice, she told everyone how she was barren.
“Please, Sir,” she begged. “Grant me a child.”
“There's only one way he can do that,” Katie replied and then turning to my son, she asked, “Are you up for it, Mike?”
Senya glared at his wife. “I've had enough of this,” he said and rose to his feet. We all rose as well except for Katie who leaned back in her chair.
“Well, she is kind of young for you.”
“Get up!” Senya growled.
“No,” Katie replied. “I'm just getting started here. Look at all those people out there waiting for me to tell them what to do.” Senya grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet.
“Go upstairs now!” he ordered.
“Okay! Okay! Chill!” She scampered back into the house.
“The rest of you, get out!” Senya turned back to the throngs. “Get you to your own villages. If you are ill, then go to one of my ten thousand fucking hospitals. I will not tolerate this disturbance of my village any longer. If you do not live here and have not been invited to visit, then you will be prosecuted for trespassing. Go!” He waved his hand at the sky for good measure, and a tremendous bolt of lightning streaked across it. Thunder boomed, and dark clouds encompassed us when only a moment before it was clear and sunny. Rain came down in torrents, and thankfully everyone scrambled away for shelter. Senya was about to go back inside when he turned and faced the distant ocean. He waved his hand again.
“What was that for?” Tuman asked as we peered into the clouds.
“Might as well make it rain in Mishnah too,” Senya replied. “Bloody well flood the place.”
From the shelter beneath the porch roof, we watched the worshippers quickly depart. The pathways were turning to mud, and the rain was pounding over our heads and rushing through the gutters. The river behind the house had already grown swollen and loud.
“How does he do that?” Rekah asked, practically shouting to make himself heard. “How does he make it rain whenever he wants?” Rekah held out his hand to catch a few drops as if to reassure himself that the rain was real.
“Chapter 7 in your mother's book,” Tuman shouted back. “How Sehron Controls the Weather and Other Planetary Functions.”
“I'm going home,” I announced and happily did so.
Chapter 28
Katie
“I have had absolutely enough of this!” he shouted. Shouted! The door slammed behind him. I glanced at the window. “You are not going out there again.”
“I wasn't planning to,” I replied. “I was just wondering if it was going to end up in my skull.”
“It just might at that,” he declared and waved his hand. My heart stopped. I watched the window. “I am sick and tired of this,” he put his hand down.
“Maybe you're just sick and tired,” I suggested quietly, still watching the window though my heart had restarted. His eyes flashed angrily.
“Do you really mean to do this?” he demanded. “Do you really intend to anger me so much that…”
“That what? You want to lock me away again?”
“I didn't want to lock you away!” he roared. Thunder clapped overhead. The house shook. “How many times do I have to tell you this? What I want is immaterial!”
“That's bogus!” I screamed back. “I don't believe that for a minute. You control the sun and moon and stars and all the ships at sea.”
“I don't,” he said, shaking his head, his voice going quiet. “I really don't.”
“You do!” Despite my best efforts, I had tears streaming down my cheeks. “How did you fix that child's head?”
He turned his brilliant eyes to the floor and frowned. I glared at him, swiping at everything that was leaking from my face.
“I don't want to argue with you, Katie. I don't want to fight with you. I love you.”
"Well you sure have a funny way of showing it," I snapped.
He didn’t respond, just continued to stare at the floor with his blank eyes. I sat down on the bed.
“You are not to leave this room,” he said softly. “The doors and the windows will no longer open for you.”
“I'm a prisoner?” I sniffed.
“As am I,” he replied and left me sitting there.
"Madame," Keko pounded on the door. "I have dinner for you on a tray."
"I don't want it. Take it away."
"Alright, then," the old man replied. "I will leave it right here by the door in case you change your mind."
"Don't worry, I won't," I called though he probably didn’t hear me. I buried my head under my pillow as he shut the door. I considered calling him back, getting him to open the door and making a run for it. Where would I run to? I was done climbing trees and camping in the forest. I could go to the Command Center I supposed and throw myself on the mercy of Telix and his crew. Would they disobey the Evil Emperor's order and protect me? Not likely.
The vid rang. It was Caroline.
"How y'all doing there, honey?" she sang. I shouldn't have answered. "Y'all having a second honeymoon? Taner and me are having a first honeymoon since we didn't do anything but spend a weekend in the Palace not working, the first time around. Gosh, we're over here in Turko at this absolutely gorgeous estate that is Taner's and I, myself, am feeling like a queen too and let me tell you, Katie, I'm loving that feeling. What's the matter, honey? How come you're so quiet there? And why don't you turn on the vid view? I want you to see this yummy sweater I bought and Luci talked me into washing the grey right out of my hair and putting some blonde highlights in instead. I'm looking and feeling like I'm twenty-five again except this time I'm not getting myself space sick or nearly killed every day on that nasty spaceship."
"Great, Caroline. Good for you."
"Uh oh," she said. "That don't sound too good. Something going on there? You and the Big Man still having a little tiff?"
"That would be a massive understatement," I mumbled.
"Hmmm. You want to speak to Taner about it?"
"No!" I cried. That's all I needed, one more of Senya’s loyal flunkies to tell me to buck it up and enjoy captivity and servitude for the greater good.
"Alright, okay, no need to bite my head off," she said and then brightly continued. "Hey, did you hear about the throngs of people in Mishnah a few days ago? All these crazy people somehow got this notion in their heads that your delightful husband is some kind of angel. Isn't that a kick? Even Taner believes it."
"What?" I bolted upright. "Taner believes it?"
"Yes, I declare," she laughed. "I told him that was the gall darn craziest thing he has ever said, but he insists that HIM put his hand on Taner's chest and that cleared his arteries and restarted his heart and now he is as
fit and healthy as a man half his age and let me tell you, Miss Katie, I can swear to that. And so Taner said HIM must be some kind of angel or something to be able to save his life right there and then and the whole time Taner was seeing this bright light and then when his vision cleared HIM had a sort of halo circling his head."
"Man oh man," I sighed. Now even Taner's gone off the deep end. "Why don't you remind him what a fricking bastard Senya is and about his propensity to break things and kill people? Remind him how his great and wondrous angel invaded Rozari a month ago and he begged me to find a way to stop him. And when you are done telling him that, tell him, I think Senya like every other Karut savage in this godforsaken village is barely more advanced than a Neanderthal and the only way he fixed Taner's heart is to direct his beta protein energy at the blockage instead of causing a lightning storm with it, and there is absolutely nothing angel-like about that!"
"My heavens!" Caroline gasped. "Alright, I'll tell him all that if you want me to. Let me just ask you one question though."
"What?"
"Where does this beta protein energy come from and why doesn't a single other person in the known galaxy have it?"
"That's two questions!" I snapped. "And I don't know, and I don't care! Goodbye Caroline!" I clicked off the vid and buried my head under my pillow again.
The door opened. "Go away, Keko!" I shouted from beneath my pillow. "And take your dinner tray with you."
It was Senya. I could hear how he limped across the room. He lay down on the bed next to me.
"What do you want?" I demanded still beneath the pillow.
"Nothing from you," he mumbled. "I want to sleep. I am tired. This is my bed."
I pulled the pillow off my head and looked at him. "Ok," I said. "I'll go someplace else."
He sighed. "Don't go anywhere. Just stay right there and if you must, pretend I am not here."
"I'll just to do that." I turned my back to him and threw the blanket over my head.
He sighed again.
I tossed. I turned. "Are you going to get under the blanket," I demanded.
"Why?"
"It’s pinning me down with you on top like that. It's not comfortable. I'm too hot."
