“Just what? Come on, you know you can tell me anything.” Allie patted Haven’s knee. “What’s the matter?”
Haven sighed again before the words burst out of her mouth. “I think I’m a terrible kisser. Every time we get… involved, Brody pulls back then goes home. Every time. One minute I’m convinced he really does like me, and then the next, he acts like he wants to be anywhere except with me. The other night he got hurt at the game and I went to his apartment afterward to make sure he was okay. He wasn’t, but he kicked me out. Told me he didn’t need or want me. What am I supposed to think?”
She sniffed and tried to curtail her tears before they morphed into full-fledged sobs.
“Oh, honey.” Allie gave Haven a hug. When she patted her on the back, Haven couldn’t keep her tears contained any longer and reached for a box of tissues she kept on a side table.
“I’m so confused and hurt and don’t know what to do. Am I really that awful at kissing?”
Much to Haven’s dismay, Allie laughed. “I don’t think that’s your problem. Not at all.”
Haven looked at her, irritated, and shook her head. “I didn’t ask you to come over so you could laugh at me. I need your help!”
“I know. Just calm down.” Haven’s behavior confirmed Allie’s suspicion that the girl was completely over the moon for Brody. “When you and Brody are kissing, who usually initiates it?”
“He does, most of the time. Why?”
“Just answer my questions.” Allie tipped her head thoughtfully. “Does he hold you close, act like he’s enjoying it?”
Haven sighed. “Yes, at first. Then the more… fervent the kisses become, the more he tenses up and then he pulls away.” Brody seemed to enjoy their encounters, to a point. “A lot of times he looks frustrated or upset, then he’ll kiss me on the cheek or nose or forehead and tell me he has to go home.”
Allie forced herself not to laugh. “Now about the other night, when you said he kicked you out… did he seem to be in pain?”
“Well, yeah. When I got there, he was trying to get an ice pack to stay on his knee on this lump of pillows. I fixed it so he could rest more comfortably, wrapped the ice in a towel so it would stay on his knee, and got him a sandwich to eat, because he’s always starving after the game.”
“Okay, then what happened?”
“We ate. He was grumpy the whole time. When I asked him if he’d be okay, he said he was fine. I may have commented on him not being fine and his bad attitude and that’s when he said he didn’t need or want me there and ordered me to go home.”
“And you did?”
“Of course. I’m not going to stay where I’m not welcome or wanted,” Haven said, indignantly.
“Have you talked to him since Saturday?” Allie knew Haven and Brody often talked or texted several times a day.
“No. He made no effort to contact me until yesterday afternoon and then he got quite persistent about it. He sent me texts, voice messages, came over, and even called the office and left messages.”
Allie heard a mixture of anger, hurt, and fear in Haven’s voice. “So why don’t you talk to him?”
“Because he needs to know he can’t treat me like I don’t matter and then expect me to fall all over myself when he decides he wants to talk. That’s not how things work.” Haven slapped her hand down on the pillow she still held. She took a calming breath then looked at Allie. “Is it?”
“No, it isn’t how it works.” Allie swallowed down a grin. “So let’s go over that list of concerns. First, I’d say you are probably a good kisser. From what I’ve seen of Brody, you’d have to be excellent to keep him coming back for more. Second, you are correct that you are totally clueless when it comes to men. I’d have to guess that Brody enjoys your affectionate attentions so much, he’s probably struggling to keep from dragging you into the bedroom like some chest-banging caveman and ravishing you.”
Haven’s mouth dropped open and her eyes looked like saucers at Allie’s statement. “You’re kidding, aren’t you?”
“No. Not so much. He must be an honorable kind of guy to leave when he does. It’s not a bad thing, Haven. Brody cutting things off and going home is a good thing. Especially with you being so naïve. Seriously, though. How do you not have a clue?”
“You know I was much more interested in studying than boys in high school. Then I was busy finishing my degree early and starting my job.” Over the years, Haven chose advancing her education and career instead of developing a personal life. “I just never had time for dating or learning all the rituals.”
“It’s about time you figured it out.” Allie grinned at Haven and sipped of her lemonade. “You really shouldn’t hold what Brody said the other night against him. Some men are complete babies when they get hurt and he might just be one of them. He’s not used to being on the receiving end of help. You know he likes to be large and in charge. You probably put a huge dent in his ego when you went over there and played nursemaid to him.”
Haven realized there was some truth to what Allie said. “So what do you think I should do?”
“You could go on ignoring Brody, but then you’re depriving yourself of his attention. Is that what you really want? Besides, isn’t their game away this week?”
“Shoot. I forgot about that. He’s leaving tomorrow.” Haven recalled Brody’s game schedule. “But what about the kissing thing?”
“Why not just ask him?” Allie shrugged her shoulders, as if it was normal to ask a man if he liked the way you kissed him.
“Are you insane? You can’t just ask someone a question like that!”
“Sure you can, if you want to know the answer.” Allie pulled her cell phone from her pocket and placed a call.
Haven could tell from the way she spoke the person on the other end of the line was Rick.
“Hey, babe, I’ve got a question for you.” Allie switched on the speaker so Haven could hear his response.
“What do you need to know?” Rick asked.
“Do you like the way I kiss you?”
“Honestly, Al? We’ve been together for two years and you just now are asking that question? Don’t you already know the answer?” Rick’s voice sounded disappointed.
“Please, can you just give me your response?” Allie asked amiably.
“You know I love the way you kiss me. It makes me…” Allie switched the phone off speaker and held it up to her ear but gave Haven a thumbs-up sign as she told Rick to hold that thought and she’d be at his place soon.
“See, that wasn’t hard, was it?” Allie asked as she got to her feet and picked up her purse. “If you want answers to your questions, you need to ask Brody. He’s the only one who can tell you what you want to know.”
“Whatever.” Haven gave Allie a hug before her cousin hurried out the door.
With her thoughts wandering aimlessly, she returned to the couch, picked up a magazine, and thumbed through it.
Anxiety flooded through her when a knock sounded on her door. Part of her hoped it was Brody. The other part was afraid it would be.
Vainly fluffing her hair, she brushed at her cheeks to make sure all traces of her earlier tears were gone, then opened the door.
A bouquet of fragrant lilacs greeted her and she inhaled their wonderful scent. Brody stuck his face around the large arrangement, looking at her with an awkward grin.
“Please don’t slam the door in my face or make me leave, Haven. I can’t take another lecture from your neighbor.” Brody smiled stiffly and inclined his head toward Mrs. Humphrey. She glared at him from her open doorway.
“I can at least spare you that,” Haven said stoically, motioning for Brody to step inside the living room.
He set the vase of flowers on her coffee table and shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching out and touching her.
It seemed like it had been weeks since he’d seen Haven instead of a few days. He knew he’d hurt her feelings Saturday, knew he’d said things that weren’t t
rue, but he was too wrapped up in obsessing over his knee to do what was right.
He babied his knee all day Sunday then spent Monday moping around, realizing he handled the whole situation with Haven badly.
Tuesday morning, he was still out of sorts and lost his temper at Marcus before practice. His friend proceeded to tell him he needed to snap out of it and apologize to Haven.
He mulled over Marcus’ comments and decided to follow his advice. He planned to apologize and let Haven know he hadn’t meant what he said. Only she wouldn’t talk to him.
She ignored his messages, and even went so far as to pretend to not be home when he dropped by the previous evening. He knew she was home, even without Mrs. Humphrey nodding at him when he quietly asked her if Haven was in her apartment.
If Haven wanted to get his attention, she certainly had it now. He’d spent the entire day tied up in knots, wondering if she’d give him the opportunity to apologize.
He had so much riding on this season being successful, on his success with the team, sometimes it was hard for him to think beyond it. Somehow, though, Haven had infiltrated his defenses and wound her way into his heart. Brody didn’t want to think about what would happen at the end of June. He couldn’t.
The pain it created in his chest was too much to bear, so he pushed the thought away and focused on the moment.
This particular moment was begging for him to pull Haven into his arms and kiss her until they both forgot there was anything else going on in the world except what the two of them shared.
“Thank you for the flowers. They’re lovely,” she said, bending over to inhale their fragrant scent. “Where did you find them? It’s still pretty early in the season for them to be bloomed out like this.”
“Let’s just say some people will sell anything.” Brody had driven past a house that had a huge lilac bush in full bloom in a sunny spot that appeared to be blocked by much of the weather. He assumed that was why the plant was already full of blossoms when most of the other lilacs around were just starting to bud.
Boldly, he strolled to the front door and begged the little old woman who answered to sell him a few flowers. Taken in by his charm, she told him to cut as many as he liked and even gave him a vase for the twenty-dollar bill he handed her.
The look of pleasure on Haven’s face as she enjoyed the flowers made him glad he went to the effort of bringing her flowers. He wasn’t sure she’d let him in her apartment, or even answer the door, but he thought lilacs might help his cause.
“Would you like anything to drink? Have you had dinner?” Haven asked, taking a step toward the kitchen.
“I’m fine, Haven. Would you mind sitting down so we can talk?” Brody motioned to the couch.
Haven took a seat in a side chair and looked at him expectantly.
Brody forced down a sigh, sat on the couch, and ran a hand over his head. She wasn’t going to make this easy.
“I’m really sorry about Saturday night. I’ve had… let’s just say it wasn’t my first knee injury and I was worried about the extent of it. Turns out a day of rest was all I needed, but I acted like a jerk and I apologize. I didn’t mean what I said to you.”
“Which particular thing?” Haven wanted to be clear on the extent of Brody’s apology.
“About not needing your help or you.” Brody held her gaze, although with her sharp glare, he really wanted to drop his to the floor. “You were a huge help to me then and a good friend, not to mention brave. Marcus wouldn’t even come see me until Sunday night.”
The barest hint of a smile lifted the corners of Haven’s mouth.
“I do need you, Haven, in whatever capacity you’ll have me. At the very least, I still want to be your friend.” Brody knew that wasn’t exactly true. He wanted to be her friend, a good friend. He also wanted to be the man she kissed, held, and loved.
She picked up a half-empty glass of lemonade and took a drink.
He watched her run her tongue out and lick her pink lips, fighting down the urge to do the same. “So, can we still be friends?”
“I suppose so.” She brushed at an imaginary spot on her shirt.
“And you forgive me?”
“I suppose so.”
Brody let out the breath he held and conjured up a smile. It quickly faded when Haven pinned him with another glare.
“Why don’t you like kissing me? Allie said I needed to ask you directly, so here goes. Am I really that bad that you always have to leave?” Haven’s cheeks burned with embarrassment, but she couldn’t go another minute without knowing the truth.
She squeaked in surprise when Brody picked her up and sat back down on the couch with her across his lap. He buried his hands in her hair and a released a groan that bordered on misery.
“Haven, how could you… why would you ever think that?” No woman’s kiss would ever affect him the way Haven’s did. She tipped his world off kilter and sent him into a tailspin every time their lips connected.
“Because anytime we kiss for very long you get all tense, pull back, and leave. What am I supposed to think?” Haven asked as her forehead rested against Brody’s chin.
He gently pushed her back until she looked him in the eye. The smile on his lips reached his eyes and she felt some of her embarrassment melt away.
“Baby, you do things to me that no one else is even capable of,” Brody said, shocking Haven with his words. “I know you’re a good girl and I intend for you to stay that way. That’s why I go home. You push my ability to think rationally right up to the very edge. When I’m about to fall over, I have to leave.”
“I… um… Oh…” Brody’s statement unnerved her. Allie was right - she was completely clueless about men. “I’m… I’m sorry, Brody. I didn’t mean…”
His finger on her mouth silenced her.
“I know, doll. I know. I’m sorry if you felt like it was something you were doing wrong,” Brody said, kissing her cheek. “It’s just the opposite. You do everything all too right.”
Haven didn’t know what to say to that and looked at Brody with a probing gaze.
“Like right now, when you look at me with those beautiful blue eyes all liquid and hot,” Brody said, tracing his thumb along the column of her throat before nibbling her lips.
Haven wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, not ever wanting to let him go.
“This is exactly what I mean,” Brody mumbled against her mouth before kissing her with a fierce eagerness that stole the air from her lungs and ended with her panting for breath.
She sighed and rested her forehead against his chin again. “I suppose now is when you’re going to give me that spiel about needing to go home. Could you throw in a fake yawn or two to make it more believable?”
Chuckling, Brody set Haven on the couch beside him and gave her a wet, sloppy kiss on her neck.
“Maybe later. How about we watch some television or go for a walk. I’ll even try to pay attention while you tell me all about the latest book you’re reading.” Brody didn’t want the evening to end too soon. It would be almost a week before he could see her again.
“How about we watch a movie?” Haven suggested and let Brody pick one while she went to the kitchen to get him a glass of lemonade and refill her own.
A few hours later, with the evening long gone and a darkened sky outside, Brody stood at the door and held Haven close to his heart. He wished he didn’t have to leave but knew he had to.
He was grateful they were back on even footing because he wasn’t sure he could have focused on the game if he thought she was still upset with him.
“I’ll call you when I get back. Maybe we can have dinner before I have to leave next week.” Brody hated that the team had two back-to-back away games. It meant he hardly had any time to spend with Haven and he wanted to make the most of every day he had left with her. In two months, he’d pack his bags and leave.
“Be safe and have fun.” Haven kissed Brody one last time before he walked out the
door.
Relief washed over her as he waved and strolled out of the parking lot toward his apartment.
At least now, she could stop worrying that he didn’t like the way she kissed. Her new worry was maintaining control of her emotions and not pushing him too close to the boundary of his.
Chapter Seventeen
Haven tossed a green salad and set it on the table before taking pork chops out of the oven and covering them with foil to stay hot. Quickly glancing at the clock on the kitchen wall, she hurried to her bedroom and changed, then spent a few minutes primping in front of the mirror.
Brody was back from his away games and this would be the first evening they’d spent together since he brought her lilacs two weeks ago.
With one last look in the mirror, she pinched her cheeks then gave herself a goofy grin before rushing back to the kitchen.
“Hey, doll? Anyone home?” Brody knocked on the door and let himself inside. Haven gave him a key the last time he was there, letting him know she trusted him not to abuse the privilege.
“In the kitchen,” she called, pouring iced tea into glasses then placing hot rolls in a basket. She covered it with a napkin to keep the bread warm.
“Something smells good.” Brody wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. “And dinner smells pretty good, too.”
“You’re a tease.” Haven ate up every word he said. She turned around and smiled at him, placing her hands on his cheeks, and gazing into his face. “I missed you. It seems like you’ve been gone for months.”
“Tell me about it.” Brody hugged her and rested his chin on top of her head. “But we’re home for the next two weeks before we have another away game.”
“I know, and I’m really glad. Wes and Tammy are bringing the boys to your game this weekend and I think Mom and Dad are coming again, too.”
“Really? That’s awesome. I’ll try to do something to make the game special for the boys.” Brody would get Mason and Jed an autographed ball.
“Just getting to watch you play will be excitement enough for them. They don’t know they’re going because they’ll drive Wes and Tammy crazy with questions between now and the game.”
Love at the 20-Yard Line Page 18
