by Lei En Na
In contrast to their earlier aggressiveness, the 2 beasts look positively harmless right now. Their eyes are round and look like innocent newborns as they panted painfully. When Shang Guan Jing hears his second sigh, she quickly explains. “I hit the second oxen on its back just now and although it looks injured, it should be fine once I massage its back for a while.”
By now, the farmer has noticed that his oxens are not in the field and has hurried over. He is shocked to see his oxens on the ground and is relieved to hear from Shang Guan Jing that they are unhurt. Sort of. But when he spots Feng Jin, his pallor change and he looks as if he is about to faint. His mouth drop open like a goldfish out of water and he stutters in obvious fright.
“You….you…you… hexed…the oxens….”
“Hit? No, no.” Shang Guan Jing tries to clarify. “He did not hit your oxens Lao Die (old father). I did.” She hopes that Feng Jin is not going to become more discriminated due to this incident and explains. “I am sorry but I do not mean to hit your oxens. Rest assured Lao Die that I can make your oxens fine again. Just give me 30 minutes, I will….huh? Lao Die? Lao Die!”
Lao Die has fainted is now lying motionless on the ground.
Great, now she has 2 animal and 1 human casualty.
Seems like it is time to get really busy.
Feng Jin watches in veiled amusement as Shang Guan Jing scuttles busily between the farmer and his oxens. She has been forced to tend to the farmer when the latter fainted and she is now patting his face anxiously to wake him, worried concern written all over her face. When the farmer remains unconscious, Feng Jin takes some mint form his basket and offers them to her helpfully so that she can whiff the leaves under the farmer’s nose.
“Stay where you are!” It is quite obvious that the farmer has fainted when he saw Feng Jin and she does not want to risk the man fainting again the moment he wakes up and sees Feng Jin standing right in front of him. However, she regrets her rash tone the moment the words left her – lord knows she does not want to hurt his already vulnerable feelings – and mentally berates herself for her insensitivity.
After knowing her for 2 weeks, Feng Jing can guess the source of her consternation. Thinking that he should not let her good intentions go to waste, he nods with resigned acceptance. “Alright, I will stay where I am. I know… I will not come near….”
Thinking that she has indeed hurt his feelings, Shang Guan Jing tries to repair the damage but Feng Jin steps away with a forced smile (he nearly had stitches as he held back laughing at her torn face). “You need not explain. I … truly understand.”
He is careful not to sound overly dejected and mentally congratulates himself for pulling off his great acting with just the right mix of regret, remorse and self-pity.
Shang Guan Jing would love to make further amends but with her hands full, she has no choice but to turn back to the more important matters at hand. Taking some mint leaves from her sachet, she crushes them between her fingers and holds it beneath the unconscious farmer’s nose. After she has finally roused the farmer, she hurries over to tend to the next.
After a long time scrubbing their tough backs, the oxens finally cease their woeful, reproaching looks from under their big, innocent eyes and stumbles back to their feet. They whisk their tails, turned a half circle, and freeze as they spot Feng Jin. Like the farmer, their eyes widen with fear and they backed a step..
Ok, thinks Feng Jin, maybe I went a teeny-whiney bit overboard with you guys today.
Ruefully, he remembers that today is the 15th and knows that there will be hell to pay later. When the moon is at his fullest, his powers are at his weakest and Feng Jin usually would avoid casting spells on this day.
Still, ha-ha, who cares? He can afford the price if he can rattle Shang Guan Jing into losing her cool, and watch her internal battles between doing what is right and doing what is kind. Deep down, he likes the way she tries to suppress her pity towards him and her concern for him. Even though he knows that her concern stems from pity, he does not really care. She has great potential to become his “medicine” and if she cares for him – regardless of reason – the medicinal effect will last longer.
When she first started shadowing him this evening, he has not noticed her presence because she makes no sound when walking. But when she sighed when the 2 children has burst out crying, he has caught on to her presence. This woman, thinks Feng Jin, is a true-blue maverick. She has seen with her own eyes how the villagers avoid him like the plague. Doesn’t she question the reason for their fear, or at least raise her guard against him?
Should he applaud her kind-heartedness, or mock her lack of self-preservation?
When both farmer and oxens are back on their feet and ready to leave, the farmer tries to warn Shang Guan Jing. His trepidation is obvious as his eyes dart nervously between Feng Jin and Shang Guan Jing. “Miss, you…. you be careful.”
Shang Guan Jing knows that he is referring to Feng Jin and assures him firmly. “Lao Die, do take care of yourself too. I am very sorry for what happened today. It is my fault for hurting your oxens and not someone else.”
Feng Jin mentally shakes his head at the moron and sighs. He has not meant to sigh out loud but the sound has escaped and is interpreted quite differently by Shang Guan Jing. She is shaken by the unfairness of the discrimination towards him and to makes up for it by being more friendly towards him as they walk back to the bamboo house.
“I have always thought that oxens are gentle creatures but I have learnt something new today. Not only did I see 1, I saw 2 aggressive oxens!”
He smiles innocently. “Yes, this is strange indeed. Now you know how aggressive our Nan Man oxens can be when they are in heat.”
“You mean these 2 oxens are in heat?”
“You have to believe me. What other reason can cause 2 male oxens to suddenly turn aggressive?”
“But spring is nearly over!”
“Yes, but there are occasionally some laggards who gets into heat later.” They continue their discussion on spring all the way home and after a while, he brings up the topic of the Diaos. “Have Miss Shang Guan found more information on the Diao family?”
Her brows furrow in consternation. “This is a problem. I have asked everyone who lives around here but no one can tell me anything more beyond the fact that they have heard about them.”
“You mean they may know more than what they are telling you?” He shakes his head and sighs. “I have been a burden to you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Am I right to say that no one will give you the time of the day once you mention that you are my guest at the bamboo house?“
Her conscious pricks at her and she thinks that now may be a good chance to persuade him to open up more to improve the situation with the villagers. “If you interact more with the villages, they will come to realize that you are a very nice man. Really, the rumor that your looks are caused by some evil spirit is a misunderstanding as big as the sky! Have you ever tried to explain?”
He is amused by her earnestness. “In your opinion, why do I look like this?”
Relieved that he is not offended by her suggestion, she flushes. “You mentioned that this is natural so I guess you are born like this. Am I correct?”
He nods. “Yes. But have you considered that my mother could have encountered some evils spirits while pregnant which gave me my abnormal looks? Besides, who knows if this evil could have seep into her blood before being passed on to me? The villagers may not be wrong to keep their distance. Perhaps, you should follow suit and keep your distance. In fact, I think… you should leave soon. Stay as far away from me as possible.”
His reverse psychology has the desired effect of making her more determined to befriend him. They continue their argument about friendship they until they reach his bamboo house. Just as the sun sets, Feng Jin exhales sharply and drops to one knee.
“Master Feng!” She kneels besides him and listens intently to his breathing. �
�Where are you feeling hurt? Can you tell me – gosh!” She has placed a finger under his nose and is surprised to feel a drop of red fluid on her finger.
Blood?
“I’m fine. Just leave.” He grits his teeth and to her shock, she sees blood starting to flow down from his eyes and ears.
Leave? He expects her to leave when blood is flowing from his eyes and ears …. and nose and mouth?! As he continues to bleed, the red patches on his face starts to pale until at last, his face is a consistent shade of grey.
He is asking her to leave when his condition is this serious?
“Leave? Where do you expect me to go? I just barely got here from thousands of miles away!” Annoyed beyond measure, she pushes his basket away and helps him to his feet. Throwing one of his hands over her shoulder, she starts to walk him towards the bamboo house.
“Let go of me.” More blood gushes from his mouth. “My basket, herbs….”
“Shut up!”
Wrapping a hand firmly around his waist and holding his hand firmly with her other hand, she uses her qinggong once more and speeds back to the bamboo house with him in tow.
Feng Jin knows that he may appear childish by rejecting help when no other sources of help are available. However, he has never aspired to be a true man (literally) so he is not concern if anyone thinks that he acting like a kid.
Besides, no one has ever told him to shut up – very fiercely, no less – and the feeling is pretty novel.
He is strangely elated by her concern, harsh though it sounds, and he can feel his blood coursing energetically through his veins. He has not felt this excited for a long time and it goes a long way to distract him from his physical pain.
“Master Feng? Master Feng? Are you awake?” Even with his eyes close, the concern in her voice is audible and he can imagine her worried face. “Feng Jin, Feng Jin!”
He likes the way she calls his name and tries to open his eyes. When he sees that he is lying on his bed with her at the bedside, he muses that she must have brought him back afterall. Unfortunately, she has caught some of his mud and blood in the process and is looking rather frumpy at the moment.
“Go away. I do not need you to stay by my bedside. I will …. not… die.” He can taste the blood in his throat and his chest is aching badly. But other than the discomfort, he is happily soaking up her concern.
She takes his hand and measures his pulse. “I am not leaving until you tell me what is happening!”
“Don’t worry. My pulse rate is normal. I have not gone over the edge…. My mind is clear and …. I am still lucid. It is just that every 15th day of the lunar month, I will…. bleed. It has been like that for as long as I can …. remember and I am used to it. I will be fine after a good rest.”
“Your mean you bleed through your eyes, ears, nose and mouth once every month?”
“Yes.” A corner of his mouth curls up sardonically. “Once a month without fail… since the day I was born. My clan elders said that this is a blood curse. There is an evil spirit who has followed me from the womb which gave me in my strange looks …. and this weird illness..” Although a bit breathless, he manages firmly. “Now please leave. Take it as if I’m begging you…. I will only bring you misfortune. Leave.”
He closes his eyes tiredly and to his shock, he hears footsteps leading to the door.
Did she just leave?
He has been quite sure that she is going to stick to his side like glue and his blood rushes up his head at the unexpected turn of events.
Chapter 3
* * *
Feng Jin tells Shang Guan Jing about his condition. “I will bleed, once a month without fail… since the day I was born. My clan elders said that this is a blood curse. There is an evil spirit who has followed me when I was born which gave me in my strange looks …. and this weird illness..” Although a bit breathless, he manages firmly. “Now please leave. Take it as if I’m begging you…. I will only bring you misfortune. Leave.”
He closes his eyes tiredly and to his shock, he hears footsteps leading to the door.
Did she just leave?
He has been quite sure that she is going to stick to his side like glue and his blood rushes up his head at the unexpected turn of events.
His head spinning at the same time he tries to think of a countermeasure. No, he cannot accept this turnout. He must do something.
Unfortunately, the bleeding has fried his brain and no solution comes forth. His mental exertion causes him to bleed more profusely and at one point, he thought that he might just drown in his own blood any minute.
Suddenly, he feels a cool cloth against his face and he relaxes a little as she wipes the blood away from his eyes, nose, ears and mouth. He opens his eyes to look at her and she must have seen the question in the depth of his eyes for she starts to explain. “I have searched the whole house but I cannot find any servants. I tried calling for them but there is no answer too. This is really strange; I have thought that someone would be around since all the lights are lit. But there is no one so we are on our own. I have prepared a wet towel to wipe your face. If I am too rough, Master Feng must pardon my poor nursing skills for I am not very experienced.”
If she can find a servant, it will be his turn to be shocked, but Feng Jin only says aloud: “I like the house to be quiet and my servants are aware of my preference. They will leave me alone at nightfall and you will not be able to find anyone.” Pause. “You really should leave. If you stay but ends up regretting your decision one day, don’t say that I have not tried to warn you….”
She covers his mouth with the wet towel and snuffs out whatever else he is going to say. She has thought that Feng Jin is a literal gentle man and this stubborn side of him is a surprise. Is he truly that independent or is he acting independent? But no matter which it is, her heroine instincts have been invoked and there is no way she is leaving him to fend for himself. Leave him alone? What a joke.
As she starts to wipe his other cheek, he gasps. “Why are you smiling?”
He tries to push away the annoying cloth from his face but she restrains his hand without much difficulty. His wrist may be bigger than hers, but with little flesh on them and in his feeble state, his protest is feeble at best – and makes him more vulnerable in her eyes. In her book, this man is thoroughly in need of tender loving care. “Nope, you are mistaken. I am not smiling.”
“You are. I saw it. Do not think that I cannot see clearly just because I have blood in my eyes.”
She nearly snorts. “You remind me of someone.”
He presses his lips together tightly and his expression turns ominous. “I reminded you of someone? Who? A man perhaps?”
“Rubbish!” she snorts.
“Who exactly did I remind you of?” He discovered some energy left in him afterall and struggles to sit up.
He is really acting strange tonight, Shang Guan Jing thinks. It has not crossed her mind that he can be this stubborn – obstinate even – but then again it has not crossed her mind either that someone could bleed through his eyes, mouth, nose and ears on every full moon. She can only say that his core could be quite different from his outward easy-going ways, and she quells the urge to press him down by the forehead. “You reminds me of my Xiao Shi Mei. Her name is Du Qing Qing.”
He stopped struggling at the unexpected answer.
“Both of you have the same stubborn expression.”
“I am not stubborn.”
Yes you are and I am looking at it right now with my own eyes. Wisely, she only said this in her head to prevent agitating him further and her thoughts move to Xiao Shi Mei.
For the nh time where is Xiao Shi Mei? She is only 15 years old and Shang Guan Jing has been worried sick since she realized that the girl has gone missing. She can only be certain that Xiao Shi Mei has not been captured by Da Shi Jie or Er Shi Siong but beyond that, she has no clues on her whereabouts. Shang Guan Jing can only console herself that Qing Qing is very bright and mature for her age and
pray that Qing Qing is in good hands, and is not starving in a corner somewhere.
“I am… not your Xiao Shi Mei….” Someone sounds petulant.
“Of course not.”
“Then don’t go off day-dreaming in my face.“
“I am not. Hey, what are you doing?” The man can barely sit straight and he is trying to take off his own clothes?
“I stink. The stench of mud and rotting leaves is making me nauseous. I… want to… lie down… I want to puke.” The first sentence is meant to rattle her but the last sentence is the truth.
His insistence has caused more blood to flow from his eyes and nose, and Shang Guan Jing figures that she better lend a hand. She helps him remove his outer robes as he collapses on her shoulder with his black hair cascading over her front.
“Feng… Feng Jin?” He has wrapped his arms around her waist and is holding her as if she is an anchor in a turbulent sea.
“I like it when you call me by my name. I like it a lot. It has been a long time since anyone has done that.”
Shang Guan Jing is getting more and more worried by his strange behaviour. Why is he pushing her away one minute and clinging to her the next? She can feel his irregular breathing and suspects that he could be trying to block off pain. “Are you in a lot of pain? You said that this happens every month. Does it mean that you have to suffer this pain once a month?”
She feels a faint nod on her shoulder. “Yes, it hurts like this once a month but I have learnt to endure it. It is just that the pain can be worse if I happen to invoke the qi in my blood just before the 15th.”
He reminds her of an attention-seeking child but she dares not push him away despite him being too close for comfort. She can feel heat rising to her cheeks, and her temperature rose further when fanned by his hot breath. “Qi? Blood? If your blood circulation improves, will your condition improve too?”
He laughs at the thought although the sound is a little hoarse from bleeding. “Do you think that my condition is like a woman’s period, where the discomfort can be reduced by taking tonic or by incalculating good habits?” When she has no reply, he continues. “It is really alright. I… I am very good at enduring pain. I am used to enduring.”
