“I don’t know, El,” he stares out the window and shakes his head. “I was hanging out with my friends. That’s what we do. Drink.”
“You’re not in goddamned high school anymore, you idiot.” Ellie shakes her head in exasperation, and mumbles all sorts of choice phrases under her breath. Idiot was the kindest.
“Well, here we are, you fucking moron. Go face the music.”
He struggles to climb out of the car with an awful feeling of foreboding. Julia opens the front door and he makes the journey up the walkway, his head aching.
Ellie’s right. I totally blew it.
“Hey,” he says softly. Julia silently holds out his keys and he sheepishly apologizes. “I’m so sorry Jules. I shouldn’t have had so much to drink. I’m sorry you had to drive us home and I’m sorry I spoiled our night.”
“No big deal. Here are your keys,” she mutters, still not making eye contact with him.
“You’re upset,” he says. A statement, not a question.
Julia looks him in the eye for the first time.
“Why did you invite me to that wedding?” she asks, hands on her hips, nostrils flared, then raises her voice, “I want to know. Why?!”
“I asked you because I wanted you there with me.” He’s never seen Julia angry before. Confused, he pauses, “Why do you think I asked you?”
“I’m not sure!” she yells, throwing her hands in the air. “Were you trying to prove something? That you’re living on the wild side? I’m sure you could have found some tall blond stick figure named Kiki or Bunny to tag along! Did you honestly think I’d fit in with those people?”
His mouth drops open, but no words are forthcoming. He’s never thought about whether she’d fit in with his friends or not. Why wouldn’t she? Julia gets along with everyone.
“Jules, I wasn’t trying to prove anything to anyone. I just wanted to be with you.” He attempts to put his arms around her, but she pushes him away. “Julia?”
Her eyes well up and she fixes her gaze on the ground. He knew she’d be upset but there’s more to this than his drinking. There has to be.
“Julia, please talk to me. Did something happen?”
“Besides you ignoring me half the night?” she snorts. “Where do I begin?!”
Sitting on her front steps, Julia replays the conversation she overheard in the bathroom. What they said, what she said. He’s speechless, can feel the color draining from his face.
“Your friends,” Julia pauses, shaking her head. “Those guys treated me like an object, a piece of meat,” she chokes back a sob, “and the women…like I’m something they scrape off the bottom of their shoe.”
“Julia, I am so sorry.” He doesn’t know what else to say.
She wraps her arms around her legs, resting her head on her knees.
“Will, you want to know the worst part?” His eyes grow wide, thinking with horror, It gets worse than what she’s already told me? “The worst part is you didn’t even notice,” she rubs her hands over her eyes. “I hardly recognized you last night. You turned into someone else, and I didn’t like that person at all.”
He covers his face with his hands, letting her words sink in, then rubs his fingers over his throbbing temple.
“Did you feel uncomfortable with my family or Gabby?”
“No, of course not.”
She nods, contemplative, “Maybe that’s because they didn’t treat you like shit.”
Will’s eyes well up. No, her family didn’t treat him like shit. He can’t say he was totally comfortable around them at first, but they were welcoming. Julia’s family isn’t anything like his own, but that doesn’t bother him. His father didn’t come from money, though Will hasn’t spent much time with that side of the family. It’s almost like his dad doesn’t want to be reminded of where he came from.
Julia’s extended family is so big, loud and overwhelming, but he’s envious of their affection for one another. He knows his family loves him, but except for Ellie, they aren’t demonstrative people.
He didn’t even know he craved that kind of affection until he met Julia. She’s warm and accepting and he royally screwed up last night. What was he thinking? How could his friends treat her like that? He clenches his fists, furious with them, but more upset with himself.
How could I treat her so poorly?
His chin drops to his chest, his shoulders droop, the realization hitting him hard. I am different around them. That’s the world he was raised in, the world he knows. He understands how to operate in that world, with those people.
He wants to tell Julia the person she saw last night isn’t him. She’s probably the only person who really knows him, but he can’t get the words out. He’s confused and ashamed and his hangover isn’t helping him articulate his feelings.
“I need to take a nap,” Julia says, rising. “I didn’t get much sleep last night and my train leaves in a few hours.”
“Do you need a ride to the station?” he asks, hopeful, and grabs the railing, pulling himself up.
“No. I’m all set.” She turns away from him. “Goodbye Will.”
Julia disappears into the house, closing the door behind her and he stands immobile, staring at her front door.
Did I just lose her?
He rubs his palm over his chest, his heart heavy and finally walks to the car.
***
From behind the living room curtain, Julia watches Will drive away from her house. The tears are building, threatening to spill over the dam, and she runs to her bedroom, crawls under the covers and hugs her old teddy bear close.
Now she’s acting like her mother, crying in bed because of a man… She hasn’t called Gabby yet, she’s too upset to talk to anyone. Thank god her mother slept out last night. All she wants is to be left alone right now.
Finally, Julia closes her eyes and is flooded with memories of the night she met Will. She wishes she could turn back the clock and take away that night. She wishes she could change a lot of things…
On the first night of rehearsal for West Side Story, Will walked into her life, and though she didn’t know it at the time, was about to turn her world upside down.
The cast of thirty people had gathered in the recreation room at the Congregational Church for a read through and from what Julia could see, with the exception of the children in the cast, she recognized everyone, having performed with all of them in the past. It was a reunion of small town thespians.
Her eyes were scanning the room when someone unfamiliar walked through the arched doorway, looking a little nervous and very out of place. He was tall, with wavy blond hair, and an athletic build, definitely not one of guys she’s performed with for years.
She watched him pick up a script from the table near the door, look uneasily around the room, staying away from the crowd, then turning to read the notices on the bulletin board behind him. His discomfort was palpable.
Who is he? she wondered and moved a little closer to the mysterious stranger.
Julia hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should say hello, then shrugged her shoulders. If she were the new person she’d want someone to welcome her, so she tapped him on the shoulder.
Turning, he smiled, resting his clear blue eyes on her, and she froze for an instant, her eyes wide, momentarily struck dumb by his looks. He’s absolutely gorgeous. But she was quick to regain her composure and introduced herself.
“Hi. I’m Julia. And…you look a bit lost.”
He laughed and took her hand in his, his eyes warm.
“A bit! Hi Julia. I’m Will. Nice to meet you.”
“Everyone take a seat!” Sean, the director, called out, indicating the metal folding chairs arranged around the room.
Will sat beside her, his thigh resting lightly against hers, sending shivers up her spine.
“Before we begin, let’s introduce ourselves. Most of you know each other, but we have a few new faces in the group. Just the basics, name, role you’re playing and any pr
evious acting experience.”
Sean began by telling the cast about himself, and then they went around the room.
“Hi, I’m Will Kennedy, and I’m in the chorus. Umm…I can’t sing and I have no acting experience whatsoever.” He looked down at his hands and smiled while everyone laughed.
“I want to thank Will for stepping up,” Sean interrupted. “He volunteered to build sets for the show and I bullied him into helping us out. We needed a few more bodies in the chorus. I promised I wouldn’t make him dance!”
Will nodded with a shy smile, his face turning pink, and glanced sideways at Julia. It was her turn to share.
“I’m Julia Grasso, I’m playing Anita, and I was in Cabaret last summer.”
They began the read through and she kept losing her place in the script, her whole body tingling with awareness of his proximity. While she was fighting the urge to touch the space on his leg where his shorts ended and his knee began, Will held his script in front of her and pointed to her line.
“Julia…” he whispered.
Startled, she looked up to find the whole cast staring at her, several ladies grinning.
“Your line,” Will said, smiling.
“Thank you,” she replied, her ears growing hot, and silently reprimanded herself. Good Lord! He’s just a guy!
Scanning the script, she used her pen to highlight the rest of her lines, and for the remainder of rehearsal, read her part and tried to forget he was there.
When rehearsal finally ended, she excused herself and wove through the crowd to the ladies room. Paula, the choreographer, was washing her hands while Julia leaned over the next sink, taking deep breaths.
“You okay Jules?” Julia nodded, splashed cold water on her face and Paula handed her a few paper towels.
“Thanks. Yeah. I was a bit dizzy but I feel better now,” she fanned herself with her hand. “It’s warm in there.”
“Is that what happened?” Paula giggled. “I thought maybe it was that gorgeous man sitting next to you, getting you all flustered.”
“Please, Paula, give me some credit,” Julia rolled her eyes.
“Honey, if he was sitting next to me, I’d be doing the same thing,” Paula said, tossing the paper towel in the basket.
Julia exited the bathroom, and waved to a few people as she left the rehearsal room, “See you tomorrow night!” She didn’t linger like she normally would. The faster she got out of there the better.
Walking out into the fresh night air, she found Will standing near the church, his face breaking into a smile as their eyes met. Julia stopped in her tracks, butterflies fluttering in her stomach. How does he do that? Why does he make me so nervous?
Living in New York, she’s spent a lot of time around good-looking men, some of them models, but no one had ever thrown her off balance before.
“Hey Julia. What’re you up to tonight? Do you want to grab a drink?”
“A drink?” Her eyes darted around the churchyard as people walked to their cars. He’s asking me to hang out with him, alone?
“Yes, a beverage,” Will laughed. “Something to quench your thirst?”
He meant a real drink, not Del’s Lemonade. Her instinct was to run, to put as much distance between them as was humanly possible. But she stopped herself, figuring if they were going to be in this play together and spend the following ten weeks in each other’s company, she figured she’d better get used to being around him.
So instead of running, she smiled and nervously tucked a curl behind her ear.
“How about some ice cream?” she asked. “Maybe a cone of strawberry or a hot fudge sundae?”
A corner of his mouth turned up, his eyes amused.
“How old are you?” he asked, a smile in his voice.
“Not old enough! I’ll be twenty in September. How old are you?”
“I turned twenty-two in January.” He gazed at her for another second then nodded his head, “Okay…Ice cream it is.”
It was a warm summer evening. The sun set not long before, an invisible artist painting colorful strokes in the night sky. Hints of red, purple, and orange lingered, casting a glow over the town. They wandered through the streets of downtown, neither of them in a hurry.
This section of Bristol is a maze of historical homes, varied architecture, and stunning water views. Julia took this beauty for granted until she moved away to college, but not anymore. She was lucky to grow up in such a picturesque town. Compared to the squalid conditions she witnessed people living in back in New York, Bristol is paradise.
As they made their way to the harbor, Julia shared tidbits of town trivia, more out of nervousness than a desire to give a history lesson. Her hometown has a rich, sometimes troubling history stretching back to pre-colonial days. While the seaports of Providence and Boston became prosperous through the China trade, Bristol gained its wealth from the slave trade and privateering.
“This used to be a holding area for slaves,” she pointed to a yellow clapboard house on the corner of State Street. Will stopped and stared at the building, his eyes squinting as he peered into the windows.
“See the bars still on the basement windows?” she continued. “The slave traders would drop anchor in the harbor down there,” she indicated the nearby water, “and the slaves that were to be sold to local families were brought here and cleaned up before they were delivered to their owners.”
Will turned toward her, his eyes bright with curiosity.
“How do you know all of this?”
“Bristol 101 is a mandatory class,” she shrugged, her face serious. “You can’t live here without taking it.” Will smiled and she continued, “I’m also a history major at NYU, so it goes with the territory.”
“I went to Portsmouth Abbey. They didn’t offer that class.”
The Abbey? He must live across the harbor on Poppasquash, which would explain why she’s never seen him before. What is he doing in a local theater production? People on Poppasquash hardly ever made their way into town.
Will slowly made his way around the house, looking at it from different angles. She studied him as he investigated, and he seemed genuinely interested.
“Downtown was my classroom. When I was a student at Colt School my teacher used to take us on walking tours of town and give us local history lessons. I think she’s the reason I love studying the past. Everything has a story.”
What’s his story? she wondered.
“How about I buy your ice cream and you tell me more? You have me curious,” Will said, extending his hand. Surprised, she nodded and they shook hands to seal the deal.
It wasn’t long before they approached the dock where the homemade ice cream shop had opened the previous summer, in her estimation, the best addition to downtown in years. To their right, a large stone warehouse was in the process of being converted into restaurants and shops.
“This building was owned by the DeWolfs, one of the most powerful families in Rhode Island back in the day. They were slave traders. See these stones? They’re from Africa, used as ballast on the ships.”
She ran her hand along the smooth stone exterior of the building and explained that during the height of the ‘Triangular Trade’ rum was made in this warehouse from the sugar brought from the West Indies and exchanged for the slaves.
“The shackles used to hold the ships ‘cargo’ are still attached to the basement walls,” she shivered. “It gives me the creeps.”
“I had no idea,” his voice trailed off as he inspected the building. Will walked in a slow circle, “I’ve lived here my whole life…” he paused and turned to her, “It’s like I’m seeing it for the first time.”
“History is everywhere, Will,” Julia laughed. “I’m happy to be your guide!”
They walked along Thames Street eating their ice cream, and Will guided her into Rockwell Park, a tiny square on the harbor with a few swings, a slide and a couple of stone benches. It’s also home to a dock with several boat slips, all residents ancho
red for the evening.
The sky was clear and the stars shone bright, a light breeze blowing in from Narragansett Bay. She heard the faint sound of music from the eighties cover band playing at Gulliver’s, the local watering hole.
It was a perfect summer night.
Will licked the ice cream dripping down the side of his cone while they sat on the boat launch at the end of the dock. Julia slipped off her sandals, dangled her feet in the water and shivered.
It was early June and the water was still cold, and she wished she’d grabbed her jean jacket out of the car before they walked downtown. She was wearing a sleeveless white cotton sundress, with a thin brown suede belt and the beaded necklace she made the previous year.
Tucking her long hair behind her ears in a futile attempt to tame her unruly curls, she leaned back on her elbows and sighed, looking at the night sky.
Julia glanced sideways at Will. In his khaki shorts, white polo shirt and flip-flops, with his hair blowing in the breeze, he looked like he’d just stepped off a yacht…or the pages of an LL Bean catalogue. Stifling a laugh, she laid back on the dock, her hands behind her head, feet still submerged. What an odd pair we make, she thought, the hippie and the preppie.
It dawned on her they hadn’t said a word to each other since they sat down on the boat launch. How long has that been? Five? Ten minutes? Strangely, she didn’t feel awkward at all. They’re just two people hanging out, looking at the water and the stars. Will finished his cone and laid down beside her, another few minutes elapsing in silence.
“See there?” he pointed up toward the sky. “That’s Perseus.”
Her eyes followed the direction of his finger. Julia saw a whole lot of stars, but no distinct pattern.
“Where?”
He scooted over so his body was close to hers.
“I’ll show you,” Will tilted his head toward her. “Give me your hand. See that cluster of stars?”
He held her hand to the sky, pointing out the outline of the constellation, his touch sending shivers down her spine.
What if I Fly? Page 4
