by Candy Crum
“Yes,” I said finally. “My eyes. Something happened in there. I don’t know or understand what it was, but it’s something. I died. Of that I have no doubt. When I came back, however… let’s just say that I don’t think I’m in Kansas anymore, Toto.”
It was a few minutes before anything else was said. I put my shirt back on, but his eyes never left my face. I knew that it was my eyes. I sat back and relaxed in my seat. The dull pain in my chest eased a bit as I settled back. Will seemed to lighten up some as well.
“Well, Dorothy, do you feel like biting me? Or cracking my skull open to eat my brain?” he asked. He was trying to joke around, but I could still see his restlessness.
“That would be a possibility if you had one to eat. Maybe that’s why I’m not hungry,” I said.
He laughed, easing a bit more.
“Actually,” I said. “I’m starving and in a lot of pain. I want some food and I need some ibuprofen.”
Will turned in his seat, his hands on the wheel as he stared forward at the road. A few moments passed before he spoke again.
“I’ll turn around and go back into town. Just don’t take the shirt off again. I’d hate to get you arrested after your mysterious resurrection. Speaking of which, we should probably figure out what the hell happened to you.”
That was no joke.
“That is probably something to figure out tomorrow. Today, I want some food, some ibuprofen, and sleep. Lots and lots of sleep.”
“That we can do, but so you know, you still scare the shit out of me,” he said.
Chapter Three
Honestly, I can’t remember a time when I ate so much and didn’t puke. How I managed to do so, I’ll never know. Rather unbelievable, if I do say so myself. Before it was all said and done, we spent about three hours in the restaurant because the first dinner that I ordered myself wasn’t enough and I had to order a second!
A double cheeseburger with everything on it and a side of fries. I ate that first. Then came the medium rare steak and the mashed potatoes. After I put all of that away, I almost ordered dessert when the waiter came back around. The only thing that kept me from it was Will’s shocked and appalled face. Instead, I decided to wait until I got home to get some ice cream.
By the time I got home, I had limited energy. After the rough day and getting my belly full-ish, I was ready for a hot shower and bed. I grabbed some chocolate ice cream and crumbled some chocolate chip cookies on top. Still, even after that I didn’t feel completely full, but I was satisfied.
When I went into the bathroom, I undressed and stared at myself in the mirror. At my chest, mostly. My fingertips brushed the skin between my breasts as I stared. There wasn’t even a scar to be seen. It was unbelievable. As I studied my body, I saw even more changes. My skin seemed more toned and had a healthier glow, all the tiny blemishes and scars had disappeared. Airbrushed. That was the only way to really describe it. The contours of my face seemed even sharper, teeth whiter, my eyes brighter, hair shinier and fuller. When I’d looked in the mirror before while in the OR, I hadn’t seen any of those things. Every one of my features looked exactly the same. That meant that even more changes had taken place in the past few hours.
Taking a deep breath, I forced myself away from the mirror and into the shower. The hot water hit my skin, and my body relaxed. As I washed my hair and body, I noticed that I was ticklish, even to my own fingers. My skin was very sensitive. The more that I noticed, the more concerned I became. I grabbed the loofah and used that instead of my hands. It helped a little, but not by much.
Finishing up, I got out and put on my favorite pair of pajamas. I almost completely collapsed in bed. It had been a long time since I’d been that tired, though the soreness had let up a bit. The ibuprofen I’d taken when I’d first gotten home seemed to be helping. Will decided to stay, which I was grateful for even though I was still very angry. Knowing that he was still there made it easier for me to fall asleep.
~ ~ ~
Ah, sleep. Apparently, that was something that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Every dream was a mystery waiting to be solved. Unfortunately for me, I had no idea how to decipher them and I didn’t care. I felt restless in my sleep. I could feel myself moving around, but I had no idea why.
“Mia,” I heard a voice speak, but didn’t respond.
I could taste something, but I couldn’t place it. All I knew was that it felt amazing on my tongue. My body suddenly came alive. Heat spread through me, and I found myself very aroused. I shuddered under the pressure as I awaited what was sure to be a very naughty dream to start.
“Mia,” it said again.
Shut up! I thought. I didn’t want to be woken up. I had a feeling that I would be having a lot of fun.
“Mia! Wake up!”
I grumbled as I opened my eyes. Will certainly had a way of ruining my fun. When I examined the area around me, I found several things wrong with my surroundings right away. Instead of being in my bed, where I’d fallen asleep not long before, I was in the living room. In the living room straddling Will’s legs, to be more precise.
My eyes widened as I peered down to see that I had Will’s boxer briefs almost completely off, and I was staring directly at a very excited part of his anatomy. It was the first time I’d seen it, and though a good part of me wanted to run screaming out of the room in embarrassment, most of me held tight. Wanting more. I leaned forward, unable to help myself. Inhaling, I could smell his body wash. I wanted – no – I needed to taste him…
“Mia!” he shouted again, bringing me back to attention.
I sat bolt upright, my hands covering my mouth. What the hell was I doing? Why couldn’t I stop myself?
“Will,” I said. “I am so sorry! I don’t know what came over me!”
He sighed. “I tried to stop you a few times. You’re much stronger than you look. Plus…” He trailed off then, thinking of the right words to say.
“What?” I asked
“Your eyes are red again. I saw them when I first woke up. You were already sitting on top of me, pulling at my shorts. There was something undeniably beautiful about you. I mean, you’re always beautiful, but I’m very serious when I say that I could not look away. You kept saying that you were hungry. You were so intoxicating that all I wanted to do was feed you, though I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant. Believe me, that was still more than a little scary to hear as you’re tugging at my boxers. Not quite sure what you’re wanting to eat there.”
“I don’t remember any of that,” I said.
He nodded. “I figured that you wouldn’t. I kept trying to talk to you, and you weren’t registering anything that I said. You just kept saying that you were hungry, and you wanted to taste me. All of me. It was hot, but I know that isn’t you.”
Crying seemed like a good idea, but why? What was that going to solve? Anger also seemed logical, but I decided against that, too. Whatever happened was my life from then on. Whatever happened made me something else. The only option was to figure it out.
“What do I do?” I asked. “How do I figure out what’s happening to me?”
“You can’t be the only one,” he said.
“Well, I’m sure you’re right, but I can’t exactly run around asking people if they have super-healing abilities and try to rape people in their sleep.”
He smiled. “No, but we can still do some research and keep our eyes out. I will help you. I will do everything that I can to help you.”
My mind wandered about everything that had happened. There were so many holes. Holes that I wasn’t sure that I really wanted to have filled in. I appreciated his devotion to helping me, but I felt hollow hearing his words. Instead of allowing myself to wonder any more about it, I decided to ask.
“Thank you,” I said. “I need to ask you something. I’m going to do my best to stay calm, because I know it can’t be good. I want the truth.”
He looked down for a moment, and I followed his gaze. Though he wasn’t
erect any longer, he was still fully exposed.
“Can I pull up my boxers first? It’s a little hard to have a serious conversation with your junk hanging out and a girl sitting on you,” he said.
We both shared a laugh at his comment. “Sorry,” I said, standing and allowing him to adjust himself.
As I sat down on the couch, the humor left and reality set back in as I prepared to ask him what really happened that day. Whatever he said, I promised that I would remain calm, or do my best at it anyway.
“Alright,” he said, positioning himself at the opposite end of the couch. “What would you like to ask me?”
My eyes bored into his. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was looking for, but I imagined that it was something close to innocence. Regret. Disappointment in himself.
“When I was shot,” I started. Saying it out loud still didn’t make sense, as I was the most cautious person I knew. “When I hit the floor, unconscious…”
“You want to know what happened after,” he said. It wasn’t a question. He knew what I wanted to ask, and I heard in his voice what I searched for in his eyes. Pain. Regret. Disappointment. At least, I hoped that’s what I’d heard.
“Yes,” I replied. “What happened? I woke up on a surgical table, and I have no idea how I got there. If an ambulance had picked me up, you’d have been arrested. There were drugs all over that place. Not to mention the weapons, prostitutes, and thugs. If you’d taken me yourself, you would have had to dump me out and drive off, or the police would have been called on you.”
As I was speaking, I remembered something the doctor had said in the moments when I was waking. He said something about picking better friends. He’d also said something about the place I’d been. So, they knew where I was.
“You did call an ambulance,” I said.
He nodded slowly. That wasn’t a happy admission. Will’s entire body was tense, nervous.
“As soon as you hit the floor, I agreed to do anything Jay wanted me to do as long as he let me help you. Jay fled with all of those assholes that were loitering around the place.” He took a deep breath and let it go in a long sigh. “And after I called 911, so did I.”
Hurt. Betrayal. Anger. All things that tried to bubble to the surface, but I pushed them back. Deep down, I’d known he ran. I knew that he wasn’t there for me, and I’d prepared myself for that. However, thinking something and hearing it are two totally different things. It still hurt. A lot.
“Okay,” I said after a few minutes of silence. It took me that long to make absolutely certain the next words out my mouth wasn’t something foul. “So, you left me. To avoid the police, I imagine?”
He nodded. “If I was in jail then I wouldn’t be able to go to the hospital to make sure that you were okay. I wouldn’t be able to do what I promised to do in order to keep you safe. I worried that if I went to jail that I’d be putting you in danger all over again.”
I watched him for a few moments. He didn’t fidget, or look away from me. I could see no signs of lying, or simply fabricating minor things, like his emotional and mental state, to make himself sound more like a hero and less like a gargantuan coward.
“Thank you for telling me,” I said. “I’m angry that you left me. I’m angry that I had absolutely no one. The single worst day of my life, and I was completely and totally alone with it. However, if you’re telling the truth, and I can’t see any evidence to the contrary, I can see why you did what you did. I’m still not happy about it, but if your heart was in the right place then I can at least understand. I don’t want you to think I’m being selfish and wanted you to risk going to prison over me, but in my mind, the way that I see things is that I died. I died because I was put in a very bad situation that I did not choose for myself. When things went badly, you ran. That’s the way that I see things. I’m sorry if that hurts you, but that’s the way that my mind wraps around everything. I felt that I was owed you staying by my side at the very least.”
“And I cannot blame you for thinking that way. Looking back, I wonder if I’d made the right decision. For you, I’d do anything. I should have been with you, no matter what, and had there not been outside influences I would have. Damn the risks of jail. I would have been there. But when I thought about getting arrested I thought about Jay. He absolutely would have come for you. You would have been – well, you should have been – so vulnerable in the hospital. He would have easily been able to kill you just to spite me. To teach me a lesson. I couldn’t take that risk,” he said.
“What did you promise?” I asked.
“What?”
“You said that you promised to do whatever he asked as long as you could help me. He allowed you to call the ambulance, and he left you alone when he fled. He could have dragged you with him and killed you. You had to have promised something good. What was it?”
“I had to move you. He wouldn’t let me call while there. With a gunshot wound the ambulance isn’t the only thing that shows. The cops do, too,” he said.
“Smart. But that wasn’t it. That was his home. Of course, he wanted to protect it. That’s not what you promised. What was it, Will?”
His eyes were locked on mine for a while. It was obvious that he didn’t want to talk, but I wasn’t going to let him slip away with that secret.
“Will,” I said, my voice firm.
“He doubled the product and gave me two weeks. He said that it has to be completely gone, even with the price hike.”
My eyes widened. “You couldn’t even get rid of what you had! He doubled it? I imagine that’s less time than you had before? Jesus fuck. How in the hell does he expect you to do that?” I asked.
He smiled, but it wasn’t happy. It was full of pain. “He doesn’t, Mia.”
“He wants to kill you,” I said flatly.
Will nodded. “He just wants to torture me a little before he does. Watch me squirm, I guess.”
“I’m going to get you out of this,” I said. “I won’t let you sell a single bit of it. Whatever it is. Meth. Coke. I don’t care. It could be going to kids, Will. Even if it’s just going to assholes, a kid could still get ahold of it. Maybe even a toddler or baby. You know that when people are high that they don’t care about anything, even their own children. I won’t let you, and I won’t let him hurt you either.”
“Mia, you can’t do that. I have to do this, or he will kill me. Then I can’t help you through what you’re going through. I can’t help you find the answers you need. Hell, he will kill us both if he figures out you’re still alive,” he said. “I swore I’d dedicate myself to you. To help you. To make up for everything I’ve caused you. I don’t want him to kill you. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”
I smiled. “I’m apparently not so easy to kill.”
“Now you’re just being cocky. You have no idea if that was a one-shot deal, or if that’s who you really are. You can’t be certain. Don’t be taking stupid risks with your life, Mia. Trust me, I’ve done that enough for the both of us,” he said.
“Alright, alright,” I said. “Calm your tits. I’ll figure something else out. We will discuss it, okay? No need to go crazy here.”
“I don’t have man tits,” he said flatly.
I laughed. “It shut you up, though. Anyway, I’m going back to bed. If I attack you again, just handcuff me to my bed. No funny stuff.”
“You might be strong enough to break out of them.”
I thought on that for a moment. How scary would that be? To suddenly be strong enough to break through metal cuffs.
“Let’s hope not,” I replied, standing and heading back to my room. “Goodnight, Will.”
Chapter Four
As soon as I woke the next morning, I got ready and went to see my parents. As I’d suspected, they didn’t know a thing. They went straight into asking me about how paintballing with Will had gone. I had to lie to their faces and tell them it was an awesome day. The bright side to that lie was that my sore body made sense and my m
om didn’t hug me quite as she would have otherwise.
My dad called for me and I followed him out to the garage. The smell hit me before the visual did. Blood. The scent was everywhere.
“I got a big one today,” he said as he led me through the garage door.
In the floor was a large piece of plastic sheeting spattered with blood. A bucket was directly underneath, but it didn’t catch all of it. A large deer was hung just above, split wide open. It was something I’d seen quite a few times throughout my life. A couple times each season. For years, I was a vegan. I couldn’t stand “eating Bambi” after I’d seen where the family dinner meat had actually come from. I think I was probably eight or nine. Soon after, I banned all animal products from my diet and became a true vegan. It wasn’t until Will’s influence overpowered me a year ago that I decided to try meat again and remembered that I actually liked it. Even though I had a taste for it, I still didn’t eat it often because it bothered me on a personal level and, after all that time of not touching it at all, a physical level as well. I’d only had meat a couple of times in that last year, the day before being one of those two to three occurrences.
As I stared at the deer, the blood dripping to the floor, I realized that I wanted to rip into it. I wanted to pull back the skin and the fur, expose the raw muscle and tissue, and bite hard into it. The urge was overwhelming.
“Hey, Mia,” my dad said. “That’s actually not what I wanted to show you. I know you don’t like that stuff.”
Shaking my head, I forced myself to look away. Making my way over to my father, I saw exactly what he wanted to show me. It was beautiful.
“1970 Chevrolet Chevelle SS. She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” he asked.
The car was in real need of some work, but I didn’t see that when I looked at it. I saw beauty.
“Absolutely!” I said. “What’s in it?”
My dad was all smiles as he stared at his new baby. “It used to be a 350.”
“Used to be?” I asked.
