“Oh, you just wait.” Davis pulled her closer and they laughed.
“You mean so much to me.” Jemma was barely aware she’d said the words out loud until Davis stopped moving. The expression on his face made her regret what she’d said. She tried to laugh off her comment. “I don’t know where that came from. I’m hungry. You want to go get some food?”
Davis didn’t say anything, but he took her hand and headed in the direction of the food tables.
“I know this has to be—” Jemma started before Davis shoved a large strawberry into her mouth.
“All this has to be is perfect,” Davis said, licking strawberry juice from his fingers. The sight of tongue against thumb sent thrills of desire through Jemma.
“Perfect? That’s all?” Jemma quirked an eyebrow and smiled as she chewed and swallowed the last of the strawberry.
“Yep. That’s all.” Davis handed her a plate. “Now. What do you want to eat?”
Jemma smiled, seeing Davis in HD. Living in stereo. He’d never been like this before. If her heart had been in danger then, how in the world would she keep it safe this time? But she wasn’t going to worry about that for the moment. At least she would have this one, perfect memory no matter what else happened. And what was life about if not chances to stockpile good memories to get you through the bad times?
That night, Jemma danced hard and laughed harder. Especially when Davis attempted to teach her the Electric Slide. She felt like the only person in the world who didn’t know the dance when she looked around the crowded dance floor.
She also realized that night that Carolina wasn’t so bad and it was only Jemma’s own jealousy that had kept her thinking otherwise. It did her no good to be jealous over anyone else’s relationship with Emily Rose. She had to repair her own relationship with her best friend. And she was working on that.
For Emily Rose, that night was about the spotlight and about Michael. And for Jemma, that night was about being happy for Emily Rose; and also for Davis.
Talking to Davis. Laughing with Davis. Catching up on inane stories about life from the past six years. Rediscovering. Bringing the sun back into her cloudy world. It was all about the new and wonderful. Every moment of it. Until Wendell and Stephanie came to their table.
Chapter 13
Jemma and Davis sat at a table near the back of the room, their chairs drawn close together, people watching and commenting on what they saw. She rested her head on his shoulder and her arms were locked around his waist. She was missing him already. She needed to get those distracting thoughts about love and forever out of her head.
Wendell and Stephanie walked up with a camera and that just didn’t seem like a very good idea. Stephanie, who’d been snapping pictures all evening, asked the three of them to squeeze in for a picture, which was something of a surprise.
After the picture was taken, Wendell said, “Can we sit here?”
Jemma said, “Sure.”
Stephanie grabbed Wendell’s arm and smiled across the table at them. She seemed to have recovered from the night before. “So you’re just in town for the wedding?”
Jemma nodded, not letting her eyes go anywhere near Davis. “I leave next week.”
“Where do you live now?”
“Florida,” she said, liking the sound of it.
“Oh. That’s nice. Six years. Long time to be away from home. I could never go that long without seeing my people back home.” That glint of a challenge was back in Stephanie’s eye. The Stephanie she’d met at the rehearsal dinner was back.
Jemma smiled. She started tearing the napkin she’d been toying with to shreds. “I guess it’s kind of been a while. How did you two meet? You and Wendell.”
Stephanie lay her head on Wendell’s shoulder and patted his arm. She either hadn’t noticed how tense Wendell had gotten or she was ignoring it. “Wendell came down to Hampton, where I was going to school, one weekend with some of his frat brothers. It was homecoming weekend. Anyway, we met at a party, couldn’t get enough of each other. We talked for hours. He asked me out before he went home. He came back down to Hampton a few times. I went up to D.C. a weekend or two. It was love at first sight. For me, anyway.” She leaned her head into his and he gave her a weak smile and mumbled something in an agreeing tone. “After graduation, I moved up to D.C. for grad school and Wendell started law school. We moved in together this summer. After I graduated from American.”
“Oh? What were you studying?”
“I just received my Master of Social Work degree.”
“Congratulations,” Jemma said.
“Thank you,” Stephanie said, head still pressed to Wendell’s. She looked around the room before settling her eyes back on Jemma. “Hopefully, it won’t be too long before we have one of these ourselves.” She patted Wendell’s arm.
He choked on his punch.
Stephanie patted his back. “You okay, baby?”
He nodded, rasping, “Yes. Yeah, I’m fine.”
Davis squeezed her knee and murmured, “I think you guys probably really need to talk, huh?”
Jemma just leaned her head to the side and peered into her cup, avoiding two sets of eyes, one brown and behind glasses across the table, one light blue and too close.
A Maxwell song came on, and so did Davis’s easy charm. “I love this song. Stephanie? Would you dance with me?”
“You want to dance with me?” Stephanie latched on tighter to Wendell as if Davis might try to pull her away from him.
“Yeah. Isn’t this a great song? Could I steal you away from Wendell for just a little while and take you out there to the dance floor?”
“Um, okay.” She looked unsure about it, but she made a show of kissing Wendell and telling him she’d be right back and then walked off with Davis.
“I told her everything last night. After the dinner,” Wendell said once Davis and Stephanie were on the dance floor. “She’s normally not like this. I never thought she was the jealous type. I guess she’s just nervous, although I told her there was no reason to be.”
“I can see where she’s coming from. It’s fine,” Jemma said, tucking her feet under her in the chair. Even though her back was to the dance floor, she had the feeling they were under Stephanie’s skeptical gaze every second.
“You’re still in love with him.”
It wasn’t a question, and that was fine because Jemma didn’t have an answer. The best she could do was if she was, she didn’t want to be.
He said, “Did you ever wonder what it would’ve been like? You and me?”
“Wendell, there’s no point in talking like that. You have someone who’s good for you, better than I ever could’ve been. And anyway—there’s just no point.” Someone who would probably make a great wife and mother. Two things Jemma wasn’t sure she would ever be capable of being.
Wendell leaned forward in his chair. “I can’t help it. I’ve moved on, sure. But I don’t think I’ll ever completely leave the idea of us behind. I can’t stop thinking about what could have been. I was too in love with you to let it go completely,” Wendell said. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to.” He started to reach across the table and then stopped himself, dragging his hands back and dropping them onto his lap.
“You were such a good friend to me and I’m sorry I hurt you. You have no idea how much I am. I wish a lot of things could’ve been different, but there’s no way to know what would’ve happened if they had been. What if I’d had a real mother? What if there’d been no Davis? What if what if what if? Why torture ourselves like that?” She wrapped her arms around herself. “Things are the way they are. The only thing I know for sure is I have no regrets about us not dating with the way things were. Because with the way things were, I think I would have only hurt you even more than I did.”
He hunched over the table. “But I could have been so good for you.” His face crumpled and she wanted Stephanie and Davis to come back. If he said much more, something else inside of her would br
eak and so much in there was already broken. “I’m gonna have a good job when I graduate. I could have given you a real family. We could have been everything you always wanted.” His eyes flitted across the dance floor and hardened a little. “Well, almost everything.”
Jemma sat back in her chair and stared at him, arms still crossed over her chest. “I have a good life now. I found what I left here to find. And you have a good one, too. You have Stephanie. And your future career. We need to just leave it at that, okay?”
“I guess I have to, huh?” Wendell said. “I just wanted you to know I still think about it is all. I had to make sure you know that. Regardless of . . . just in case . . . whatever.”
Jemma was trying to tell herself he didn’t mean what she thought he meant while she stared down at the tablecloth. She was still hoping he wouldn’t do something crazy like offer to leave Stephanie for her or tell her he was still in love with her and Stephanie could never compare when the others came back to the table. She was relieved when Stephanie told him they should go congratulate the bride and groom since they hadn’t done that yet.
Davis sat next to her and took her hand. If he noticed it was clammy, he didn’t say anything.
“They’re gonna do the bouquet and stuff in a few minutes,” Davis said. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand.
Jemma nodded. “I’m going to go say my goodbyes to everyone then so we can slip out right after.”
“Hey. You okay?” Davis gave her a small frown.
Jemma forced a smile. “I’m just tired. Really tired.” She kissed his cheek and stood.
***
While Davis waited for Jemma, Emily Rose and the others—including Stephanie—danced one last dance together and took a million more pictures at Emily Rose’s insistence. Then Wendell came up to him. They nodded greetings to each other and then Wendell took a place against the wall next to him.
“What did you say to her? While I was dancing with your girlfriend?” Davis said.
He crossed his arms over his chest. “The truth.”
“About?”
Wendell turned and narrowed his eyes at Davis. “Do you really care about her? You really love her?” After a pause during which he must have figured Davis wasn’t going to answer him, he said, “You know she barely survived what you did to her before.”
Davis swallowed hard. He knew. He didn’t like to talk about it, but he knew. “Jemma means more to me than anyone ever has.” He’d never been so honest about his feelings out loud to anyone besides Codie, but it didn’t matter anymore who knew. He was still losing her again. He’d never deserved to be a part of her life and he didn’t think there was anything he could ever do to change that.
Wendell snorted. “That’s saying a lot considering how you treat the people in your life.”
“Why’s it such a big deal to you? She’s going to be in Florida in a few weeks. She came to me. No one’s playing any games here with anyone else.” He almost said no one was going to get hurt, but that might not have been true. At least if someone did, it would be him. He wouldn’t let it be Jemma.
“Why is it such—did you really just ask me that?” Wendell’s blasting laugh was full of disbelief and outrage.
“Yeah. I just asked you that.” Davis could play the asshole game, too. Heck, he’d invented it.
“I love her. I always have. I won’t let anything bad happen to her.”
“What about Stephanie?”
“What about her? She’s my girlfriend, yes. She’s going to be my girlfriend in the future, yes. Maybe even my wife. But that doesn’t mean that I’ll ever get over what I felt for Jemma or that I’ll stop being her friend. And I will certainly never stop caring for her.” Wendell stared him down. “I just want to make sure we’re clear about that.”
“You think you know me so well, Wendell.” Davis shook his head, grinning in disbelief. “You don’t know a thing about me at all.”
“I know you’re worthless.”
“It doesn’t take much to figure that out.”
“If you hurt her, I will hunt you down.”
“I’m not afraid of you, but I’d never hurt her.” Davis watched Jemma squeeze in between Emily Rose and Carolina for a picture. “Again.”
***
Before she left, Jemma found everyone and said her goodbyes. She told Emily Rose, Carolina, and Meg she’d see them the next day. There was going to be a big brunch for everyone before Carolina and Michael headed back to New York on Monday.
Carolina had a dance audition in a few days and Michael had to get back on the job search. He had interviews lined up during the upcoming week. Emily Rose was driving back to New York at the end of the week. They weren’t honeymooning until they both had jobs. They’d planned a trip to Milan at Christmastime because they hoped they would both have jobs by then.
Jemma stood at the edge of the group of women waiting to catch the bouquet. She didn’t want to risk getting close enough to catch it. After watching Michael throw the garter, she found Davis and they left.
Davis stopped at Mary’s so that Jemma could throw some things in an overnight bag and then they went to his house. He started to get out of the car until he noticed that she wasn’t moving. He sat back in his seat and closed the door.
“Hey. What’s wrong?” He leaned over the console and toward her.
“Would you mind if I just wanted you to hold me tonight? The mood . . . kinda gone,” Jemma said while staring out of the windshield at the creamy half moon.
“What kind of crazy question is that? Would I mind. All I want is to be near you, Jemma. To be as close to you as I can for as long as I can.”
He unbuckled her seatbelt. She felt as if he’d released her from all of the dark thoughts weighing her down with his words and that simple gesture.
They walked hand-in-hand to his front door, him carrying her bag. She looked around the foyer, remembering the first time she’d come to that house. She swallowed hard, thinking of that disastrous afternoon before prom. After locking the front door, he led her to his room. The only other time she’d been in that room, things had been completely different between them. It’d been that same afternoon before prom. Standing right there next to his desk, Davis had told her there was no way they could ever work as a couple. And it was still true. But for completely different reasons.
“You change here. I’ll be back in a minute,” Davis said before kissing her neck.
“No. Hold me for a minute first. Real tight. Like you’re afraid to ever let me go,” Jemma said.
Davis did as she asked. He had no idea how she wished it could have been different. Wished that they’d never hurt each other. That others hadn’t hurt them so badly that they didn’t know how to do anything other than damage their own chances at happiness. That there was another way she could fix it all besides going away to Florida. And most of all, she wished that she never had to let go of Davis.
“I’m sorry I ever said all those hurtful things to you back then.” Davis was apparently visiting the same memories that she was.
“What did we say? What have we been saying all along? Nothing exists past or future during our time together, right?”
“I wish I could—I dunno. I want to do something really big and wonderful for you. To show you how much—I mean you made me so happy today. I want every day to be today.”
“The biggest and most wonderful thing you could do for me right now would be to show me the bathroom. ’Cause I really have to go,” Jemma said. She was afraid if she didn’t break the seriousness of the moment, her feelings would suffocate her. He laughed and then told her where to find it and she headed off in that direction. Her head ached with the pressure of unshed tears.
***
Davis shifted his body away from Jemma’s slightly, afraid that if he didn’t, she would know how much he wanted her despite how cool he’d tried to play the situation earlier. She lay on her side and he was curled up behind her. He let her pretend she was asleep b
ecause he wasn’t sure what he’d say to her if they acknowledged she was awake.
Man, he could use a cigarette, but he’d decided to quit yet again that morning, knowing Jemma wouldn’t like the idea of him smoking. A drink would have been good also, but he wasn’t sure that’d be a good idea, either. Besides, he didn’t really want to leave his bed as long as Jemma was in it. Being so close to her warm, soft body after dreaming about it for six long years was a sweet kind of torture.
He moved his hand from her shoulder and smoothed it over her braids, then let the backs of his fingers rest against her cheek. He thought he heard her breathing quicken, but there was no other sign of movement from her. She still wanted to feign sleep. Fine with him.
He wondered exactly what Wendell had said to her, but she hadn’t wanted to talk about it. Wendell might have been smarter and more successful than him, but the guy was still a jerk. He hated the idea of anyone making her feel badly. He wanted to protect her from anything and anyone who would hurt her, including himself. She had such a good heart no matter what all had happened. He’d been one of the people to break that good heart all those years ago. And Wendell rehashing the past she obviously didn’t want to relive angered him. And then the idiot had the nerve to assume he knew what Davis wanted.
When she’d come back to him in the restaurant Friday, there’d been only one answer he could give her. His heart hadn’t let him give any other when it came to spending as much time with her as he possibly could. Still, he was seeing a problem with their so-called arrangement already. He’d never gotten over her. Holding her so close again, burying his face in her hair, remembering the feel and taste of her lips under his made the thought of having to let her go again almost unbearable. Still, couldn’t ask her to stay for him. Knowing all she’d been through, including the stuff he’d put her through, doing that would be stupid and selfish. He had to remember that. She would have probably said no anyway.
She’d asked him earlier about his marriage to Tara. He was over that. It hadn’t taken long because clearly marrying Tara had been a mistake. Most importantly, he’d never really loved her. He’d done it because it’d been easy. She’d been there. They’d dated in high school. She was attractive. Or at least she had been at the time. But Jemma? Thinking about losing her all over again was painful. But it was just another pain he had to endure because the alternative—having her be so close but not being able to see, touch, and feel her—was not an option.
The Davis Years (Indigo) Page 10
