by S. H. Kolee
It was the wrong thing to say. Logan’s eyes were burning as he took a step closer to me. I had to fight the urge to step back. I didn’t want him to think I was intimidated by him, despite my mounting trepidation.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” he said softly, his eyes trained on me. “Everything you do is my business.”
“We’re just friends, remember?” I asked, almost desperately, trying to jar Logan out of whatever emotion he had gotten caught up in.
“We both know this just being friends crap is bullshit. I was trying to fool myself into believing that it was a way to keep you in my life, but the thought of any other man putting his hands on you makes me crazy. I’m not going to let that happen.”
My mind was a tumultuous mix of emotions as I tried to absorb his confession, but before I could form a reply, he closed the space between us and fiercely pressed his lips against mine.
I knew I should protest. I knew I should push him away and walk out of the storage room, but my body wouldn’t cooperate. I felt myself melting into him as a soft moan escaped me. He was kissing me as if he wanted to devour me, his lips slanting over mine possessively.
“Open your mouth,” he growled.
I found myself automatically obeying his command. His tongue plundered my mouth as his hand grasped the back of my head, keeping me captive. But I had no plans to try to escape, and wrapped my arms around his neck. I barely registered Logan turning me so that my back was against the door. I was too engulfed in passion and desire to be aware of anything besides his mouth on mine and his hand burrowing under my shirt. He made a sound of approval deep in his throat when I pushed my tongue into his mouth to lave against his.
I whimpered when his hand pushed my bra up and he grabbed a nipple roughly between his fingers. It was already taut and aching, and his twisting made an arrow of arousal shoot right between my legs, making me clench my thighs together.
I gasped for air when he broke the kiss and moved his mouth down my neck. I arched my back, trying to give him easier access as he trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses over my collarbone. He impatiently pushed my shirt up and replaced his fingers with his mouth, setting my body on fire.
“Logan,” I choked out, not knowing whether I was saying his name in protest or encouragement. He took it as the latter and he suckled hard on my nipple, running his tongue back and forth against it until I thought I would melt into a puddle of pleasure. He was being much rougher than I ever remembered him being, but instead of putting me off, it enflamed my desire. I made a sound of approval when he abraded my aching nipple with his teeth.
I gripped his shoulders as he shifted to give the same attention to my other engorged bud. My panties were already soaking wet just from him sucking on my nipples.
Despite our compromising position, the last thing I expected him to do in a public place was to take it any further. I was taken completely by surprise when he pushed his hand underneath my jeans and panties, burrowing deep to stroke my slick, swollen flesh. The only response I could make was a choking noise as my arousal went off the charts.
Logan made a sound of impatience and roughly unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, giving him easier access. I heard myself panting as his finger stroked against my clit, which was already engorged and throbbing. Logan’s fingers were covered with the evidence of my arousal, but all I cared about were the sensations rushing through my body.
“No one else will ever have this,” Logan muttered, almost to himself. “This belongs to me.”
His words had the opposite effect of his hands. He spoke about me like I was an inanimate object, and it put a damper on my desire. It also gave my conscience a chance to rear its head. What the hell was I doing? We were in the storage room of a bar, and I doubted there was a lock on the door. Even if there was, I didn’t think Logan had locked it. Someone could walk in on us at any second. Even worse, Kristina was out there waiting for us. Not knowing that her boyfriend was busy groping a supposed friend.
The guilt washed over me and I grabbed Logan’s wrist to stop him from stroking me.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” I gasped. “This is wrong.”
Logan’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t pretend you’re not enjoying it. I heard all the sounds you were making. Do I have to remind you that my hand is covered with your wetness as evidence of how turned on you are?”
I felt myself flush in embarrassment but I was determined to stop this. “This has nothing to do with whether I’m enjoying it or not. It has everything to do with this being wrong. Do I have to remind you that you’re cheating on your girlfriend right now?” I took a deep breath as I tried to get control of myself. It was hard when Logan’s hand was still down my pants, although he had stopped stroking me. “This needs to stop, Logan. We’re on a vicious cycle of self-destruction.”
I cried out when, in response, Logan pushed two fingers deep inside me. I was wet enough that the sudden intrusion wasn’t painful, but its unexpectedness made me gasp. I also couldn’t deny how good it felt and automatically clenched myself around his fingers.
“This isn’t going to stop until you come,” Logan rasped as he started to move his fingers in and out of me as his thumb resumed its assault on my clit. “It isn’t going to stop until I’m deep inside you, and you beg me to come inside your pussy.”
His words just made me hotter, and I was helpless as I moved against his hand, feeling my body consumed with a tension that begged for release. All thoughts of putting a stop to this disappeared. I didn’t even notice that Logan had pushed my panties and jeans down to give him easier access. Nothing existed except his fingers roughly pushing in and out of me as his thumb relentlessly rubbed against my clit. When he leaned down to kiss me, I grabbed his head, not to push him away but to pull him towards me so I could devour his mouth. Our kiss was hard and fierce, almost as if we were battling each other, and I sucked on his tongue as I imagined doing the same thing to another part of his body.
I didn’t know how much more I could take. My body was taut, and I strained for the release that was just beyond my grasp.
“Let go, baby,” Logan muttered against my mouth. “Let go and come for me.”
His words were my undoing. He swallowed my cries as my body shuddered violently and the unbearable tension shattered. I was wracked with wave after wave of pure pleasure. It seemed to go on and on as Logan kept up the onslaught with his fingers until the last tremor left my body. I slumped against the door, feeling weak and drained.
That didn’t stop a flutter of desire from being reignited when Logan undid his belt and pants and pushed them down along with his underwear. His erection was an impressive sight, and suddenly, I felt a restlessness between my legs, even though I had just been sated.
Logan grabbed my waist and pulled me towards him, his face harsh with passion. Still, he hesitated.
“Do you want this?” he asked in a guttural tone.
Instead of answering, I grasped his hard length, reveling in the way he groaned when I stroked it. I guided it to my wet cleft, looking him straight in the eye as I spoke.
“Fuck me, Logan. Fuck me until I beg you to come inside me.”
Logan made an animalistic sound as he pushed the head of his erection inside me. It had been a long time since I had last had sex, and despite being soaking wet, it was still a little uncomfortable as he stretched me open. He paused before pushing in any further, although I knew it was taking everything in him to not just thrust himself completely inside me. My clawing hunger for him wouldn’t take any hesitation, and I grabbed his buttocks, pulling him towards me as I simultaneously pushed down until his shaft was fully sheathed inside me. I gasped at the sudden sensation, feeling stretched to my limit. Logan growled, and his hands gripped my hips as he moved inside me. We were both panting and straining against each other like animals; the only conscious thought in our heads to finish our mating.
Logan used his foot to anchor my jeans and panties to the ground so I could step out of
them. I shuddered at how deep he went into me when I wrapped my legs around his waist. I should have been worried that someone would hear us outside, especially since my back was slamming rhythmically against the door. But all I cared about was Logan’s invasion into my body and the growing tension between my legs.
“Shit. I’m not going to last long. It feels too damn good.” His voice was hoarse as he continued to thrust violently inside of me. He was gripping my waist so hard that I was sure I would have bruises there tomorrow, but right now I didn’t care.
“Don’t stop,” I gasped as I strained for my release. “Don’t stop until you come inside me. Please.”
My words seemed to enflame him. I didn’t think it was possible, but his thrusts became even more feverish as he plunged into me over and over again. I couldn’t suppress my cries as I reached the peak of desire, and my body was wracked in pure pleasure once again. I felt Logan shudder, and he groaned as he found his own release as he came inside me.
When the haze of my desire dissipated, reality came crashing down on me. What had seemed so passionate moments before now felt tacky and ugly. I lowered my legs and he slipped out of me. I stepped back, although it took some effort because my legs felt like they were made out of rubber.
I didn’t look at Logan as I grabbed my jeans and panties and pulled them back on and readjusted my shirt and bra. When I finally lifted my head, he had pulled himself together as well. He was watching me with an inscrutable expression.
“What the hell is wrong with us?” I finally said wearily. Self-loathing washed over me.
Logan took a step towards me, but I shook my head, holding my hand up to stop him from getting any closer. He made a sound of frustration.
“Maddie, it’s obvious that there’s much more between us than friendship. I can’t tell you how many times I regretted not giving you another chance when you asked for one a year ago. But we can make up for it now.”
“What about Kristina?” I cried out. “Where does she fit into all of this? I can’t be some slut that you see on the side.”
Logan shook his head. “That’s not what I’m saying. I’ll end things with Kristina.”
That should have made my heart soar, but instead it left a bitter taste in my mouth. “She left her life in California to move here with you. She’s in love with you. You’re okay with telling her that she uprooted her entire life for nothing?” Cassie’s face flashed across my mind. Was I willing to take another victim for the supposed love between Logan and me? Why did our feelings for each other have to hurt other people? I couldn’t help feeling like I was being given another chance to make things right with Cassie, to make the honorable choice, yet I was going down the same road of temptation again.
Logan grimaced at my words. “I’m not saying it’ll be easy. I care about Kristina, but it was a mistake to have her move here with me. I convinced myself that I could be happy with her, but the moment I saw you, I knew it was impossible. Don’t think it hasn’t escaped my attention that I sought out someone who reminded me of you.”
I shook my head at his confession. He confirmed everything Emily had said about Kristina being so similar to me, but instead of making me feel better, it made me feel worse. She was being used. We had used Cassie, too. We had used her and her late night rehearsals as an excuse to constantly be together.
“I don’t want to hear this,” I said, trying to keep my emotions from spiraling out of control.
Logan saw right through me. “Is it because of Cassie? This has nothing to do with her. The situation is totally different.”
“How?” I cried out. “How is it different? It’s exactly the same! The only thing different is that I’m going to stop this before we hurt someone again.”
Logan reached for me but I pulled away before he could touch me. His hand fell limply to his side. “Maddie, it’s not the same.”
“I need to go.” I felt raw and desperate, and I needed to get out of there before I became hysterical. But before I ran away, I had to make sure Logan wouldn’t do anything rash. “Don’t break up with her, Logan. We’re letting our emotions get the best of us right now. Don’t do something you’ll regret.”
“It’s too late. I already regret so much, but the only thing I don’t regret is being with you.”
“Just promise me you won’t break up with her. Not until we’re thinking straight.” Panic rose when Logan didn’t say anything. I knew I was projecting Cassie onto Kristina right now, but my rational mind couldn’t break through the hysteria that threatened to overtake me. “Promise me! Please!”
Logan sighed and rubbed his forehead wearily. “I promise I won’t break up with her until we’ve had a chance to talk again. That’s it.”
I nodded. It was enough for now. “Just tell her I’m sick and had to go home.”
I opened the door to the storage room and made a beeline to the entrance of the bar. I wasn’t surprised that no one had heard us since the bar was so noisy, but a worker could have walked in on us at any time.
Luckily, because of the dense crowd, it was easy to escape without Kristina seeing me. I breathed a sigh of relief when I reached the sidewalk. My relief was short-lived, however, and I walked blindly down the street, not really sure where I was going. I couldn’t believe what I had allowed to happen. I could feel Logan’s semen drip out of me onto my panties as I walked, and I felt a confusing mixture of shame and remembered desire.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I was alone, but I knew who I was talking to. But Cassie would never be able to answer back.
Chapter Twenty
I looked up nervously at the roller coaster that seemed to stretch up until it touched the sky. The thought of riding down the steep hills made my stomach turn.
“I don’t know if I want to get on that,” I said nervously. I had never understood Cassie’s love of roller coasters, and I usually declined riding the larger ones whenever we went to an amusement park. “I think I need to have a last will and testament before I get on something like that.”
Cassie laughed. “C’mon. It’ll be fun! The best thing to do is to scream your head off while you’re on it. It makes it bearable.”
I grimaced. “Bearable. That sounds just like my type of fun.”
“Just try it,” she pleaded. “I swear you won’t regret it. It’ll be my birthday present.”
“Does that mean you’re going to give me back the necklace I already gave you?” I smirked at her.
She grabbed the necklace around her neck as she tried to look offended, but it soon dissolved into laughter. “Okay, consider it my second birthday present.”
I sighed, but I knew it was inevitable. It was always hard for me to say no to Cassie, and she seemed hell bent on getting me on the mammoth roller coaster today. I flushed as guilt washed over me. I owed her a lot more than a roller coaster ride. I had betrayed her in the worst possible way, and I was going to hurt her immensely when I told her the truth. The least I could do was make today as fun as possible. I was afraid that this would be the last happy memory I would have with her once I confessed. I wanted to make it as memorable as I could.
“Alright,” I said, trying to sound begrudging. “But don’t blame me if I throw up on both of us.”
Cassie squealed in excitement and took my hand, dragging me to the line. It took a while for us to actually get on the roller coaster since it was a busy day, and the wait just gave my nerves a chance to worsen.
“Are you ready?” she asked excitedly when we were finally seated in our car. The workers were busy checking to make sure our seat restraints were secure, and I suppressed the urge to beg them to check mine more than once.
“Not really, but there’s no turning back now.”
“When we’re going down a steep descent, just scream like crazy. It’ll keep your stomach from having the sensation of flipping over itself. It’s also a great way to release all the crap in your head. That’s why I love roller coasters so much. In that moment, when you’re r
ushing down at a dizzyingly high speed, nothing else exists but your soul. You’re weightless and bodiless, and your mind empties of everything except for the feeling of flying.”
I gave Cassie a skeptical look. “You get all of that out of a roller coaster ride? I’d rather go to therapy. It’s safer and on the ground.”
She laughed but didn’t say anything else. I tensed as the roller coaster started to move. Of course Cassie had convinced me that we should sit in the front car so there was nothing between us and certain death.
I managed the small dips pretty well, but I hated the fluttering feeling it gave me in the pit of my stomach. The small hills were nothing compared to the steep incline we were currently climbing, and my anxiety level rose to an all-new high. I white-knuckled the bar of my seat restraint so hard that I wouldn’t have been surprised if I was breaking blood vessels in my hands.
“Remember to scream,” Cassie yelled over the wind and mechanical noises of the roller coaster. “’Scream your freaking head off.”
We reached the top of the steep hill and paused there for a moment. I cursed the sadistic designers of this roller coaster who wanted to give us plenty of time to be scared shitless before we made the fall.
Suddenly, we plunged down and I followed Cassie’s advice, screaming as loudly as I could. My screams released all the tension in my body, and soon my screams were interspersed with laughter. Expelling all that sound somehow made my stomach remain steady, and I felt gravity leave me as I was pushed into weightlessness. Nothing existed except the wind in my face and my screams, which sounded distant to my own ears. I felt incredibly free with nothing weighing me down. No guilt. No shame. No self-loathing. Just freedom.
The descents on the rest of the roller coaster were minor, and soon we were back at the loading area as the cars stopped with a jolt. Cassie turned to me, her face wind-kissed and framed by wisps of hair that had escaped her ponytail. Her brown eyes sparkled and she looked happy and carefree.
