by Jf Perkins
“You know the drill. Two more beers, my man.”
Chapter 10 – 4
The way Sally Bean managed her greenhouses was beyond me. Lucy seemed to understand perfectly. As she explained the difference between cold crops and warm crops and heating systems and climate to me one cold afternoon in January, I tuned her out completely. I was too busy noticing how much she had changed. She had just turned sixteen on the 4th, and she was talking like a grownup. Even more surprising, she was talking to me that way. I rewound my mental clock to the time before the Breakdown when she was another typical teenage girl. She had worried about parties and boys and grades and clothes, and had ignored me like the lesser spawn that I was. Now we were sitting in Sally Bean’s giant kitchen, on the modern end so we could gather the heat pouring off the woodstove, and she was having a perfectly grownup conversation with her little brother.
In any case, Sally had devised a method of pulling fresh food out of those greenhouses all winter long. None of it was food I really wanted to eat, given a choice, but after the previous winter, I was adjusted to the idea that food was precious and not to be wasted. I would even eat cauliflower, which still looked like brains to me. Granted, the winter was much milder than last year, but not even remotely mild by any traditional Tennessee standard. We saw many days of subzero temperatures, but never the arctic, freeze-your-eyeballs cold we had survived before. We saw snow that never melted, but the ring of woods around Sally’s farm caught the major drifts and kept her home clearing relatively free of heavy snow. We also saw mild days when the thermometer approached the freezing mark, and we all went outside just for the sheer fun of being under the sky.
No amount of cold saved us from the daily chores. There was livestock to feed and water, and to set free on mild days, only to round up when the sun sank below the horizon, and the night came with no real hint of how cold it might get. To be safe, we always packed the animals back in the barns at night. Bear was in no way a herding dog breed, but he was helpful just the same. With Bear’s prodigious size, even the most ornery bull we had would not tangle with the dog. As a bonus, the dog probably had a better vocabulary than I did. We’d just ask him to do something in plain English, and he’d do it. After each task, the dog looked inordinately proud of himself, even cocky, but I figured you can’t call anyone cocky unless they fail, and Bear never did. He was a bit sensitive to the cold with his short black fur, and we gave him the courtesy of leaving him by the stove on the days when it was too cold to let the livestock roam free.
Another gradual change caught my attention. Margaret and Jackie were still inseparable, but Jones had drifted in a direction that was well under way before I noticed. Anytime we were all together, there was a good chance that Jones would sit next to Arturo. I noticed that he was a bit uncomfortable with her attention at first, which is why I probably forgot all about it. A month later, Arturo and Jones were quite happily sitting close together on the couch. I still didn’t change my concept of their relationship until one night when I saw them get up together and hold hands as they went down the hall to the room Arturo had been sharing with Jimmy. Then I paid attention.
Jones was also spending lots of time with Jimmy. The youngest member of our family had grown enough to gain four inches in height and to lose the soft edges of his speech. In fact, he sounded almost exactly like Tommy, who was only weeks away from his tenth birthday and had grown half a foot himself. With little else to do in the cold winter days, I noticed those things, and marveled at the simple fact that the world had ended and we were still growing and living just like we would in any place, or any time. I don’t know why it startled me every time I stopped to see it.
Knowing what I know now, it was obvious that Jones had picked Arturo for her life, and that meant picking Jimmy as well. She approached the boy with that awkward method that grownups use when they decide a child is important, and begin to seek that child’s approval. Of course, Jimmy hated it. Well, he didn’t hate it, I suppose. He just didn’t want it. A sure sign that Jones was trying to be his friend was when Jimmy showed up looking for someone to play one of the board games in Sally’s collection. He seemed to think that no grownup would stoop to the level of Candyland, but Jones crossed the line without hesitation, forcing Jimmy to play along out of politeness.
That was another big change brought on by a winter spent with our motley collection of people. We learned to be polite whether we liked it or not. There is no way to cram thirteen people into one house without enforcing some hard rules of etiquette. That’s not to say that it was hard. There weren’t beatings when we were rude. It was just a tacit understanding that we all learned over time, and as a result, Jones became one of our favorite board game players. In the process of all those games, she learned as well. Without anyone ever saying it out loud, she understood the secret of getting along with children. Talk to them as if they are just people. The minute you try to kid-talk a kid, you’ve lost them.
By the time some brave crocuses and buttercups began to appear by the road, only six weeks late, Jones was good friends with Jimmy and clearly in love with Arturo. My parents shared many quiet smiles as they watched the connection grow stronger. I don’t think they really thought through the implications.
In early April, Arturo asked my dad if he would officiate over his marriage to Jones. He asked at the dinner table, where Dad would not have objected even if he wanted. He had no objection until the second question followed.
“You see, David,” Arturo said. “You’re the closest thing we’ve got to a justice of the peace, and I don’t think the official rules really matter anymore. It only matters to us.”
“You know I’m honored, Art,” Dad said, “And you too Jones. I’m honored and grateful that you can both find happiness together.”
“Thank you, my friend. I have another question,” Arturo said with some hesitation.
“What is it, Art?” Dad was serious. He had picked up on Arturo’s reluctance.
“I was wondering if I could have the station wagon. I’d say borrow it, but I don’t know how long I’ll need it.”
“You’re leaving?” Dad said, as if the thought had never occurred to him.
“We’d like to go looking for our families. My folks may still be alive up in McMinnville, and Jones has people up in Kentucky. I’m not sure we can ever settle in until we know. So yes, we’re planning on leaving in the next month or so,” Arturo said.
“I don’t know what to say,” Dad replied.
“I’d like to say we’ll be back, but you know the odds, and it’s not fair to have you waiting,” Arturo said with tears beginning to show. “It’s just something we have to do, you know?”
Dad leaned way back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head. He thought for a minute and finally replied, “I’m caught off guard. We’ve been working for the long haul here, and it just never occurred to me that it wasn’t what you wanted. That said, of course you can have the wagon, and whatever else you need. None of us wants you to go, but there’s no way we would let you leave without being as prepared as we can make you.”
“Thank you, David. Thank you all.”
The dinner table was quiet after that.
Chapter 10 – 5
Terry loved Bill’s story, but he didn’t really understand how important it was until just then. Arturo. Leaving. Crap. Terry rounded up his plate and empty bottles, and set them in the sink. He grabbed the half-devoured plate of sandwiches and placed it in the refrigerator, for once ignoring the miracle of steady power. He walked back to the table. Afraid to speak, he just gave Bill a wave, and turned to leave the room.
“Terry...” Bill said.
Terry turned to face the man.
“That’s exactly how I felt.”
Terry nodded silently and climbed the stairs to his room.
Seated on the edge of his bed, Terry realized that he actually did think of this place as his room, and that was new. He didn’t know how he had crossed the th
reshold into Bill’s family. Maybe it was the strong feelings about a man he had never known leaving that family over thirty-five years ago. Maybe it was everything he had already experienced at Bill’s side in the short months he had known the man. Maybe it had something to do with Sally, but he wasn’t quite ready to admit that to himself.
He settled for sliding the boots from his feet, dropping the gun belt from his hips, and sliding the heavy cotton pants to the floor. He unbuttoned his shirt and thought about taking a shower, but he didn’t want to make that much noise when Aggie was sleeping down the hall. He flipped his pillow on end, slid onto the bed, and leaned back against the wall as he tried to relax. It wasn’t working.
He went through every event of the long day. It had started almost twenty-four hours ago, and still he could not sleep. He went through the dying faces that his mind had dutifully recorded in perfect slow motion. He couldn’t avoid the fact that he had run up a body count. He had lived for twenty years without killing a single person, and now it was less than three months later and he would need a piece of paper to tally them up. He had waded in head first with a practical attitude towards killing. It was Terry or the other guy. Only now, he understood that no matter how practical he thought he was, each life that he took was a burden that never went away. The burden was about to get much heavier, he expected.
By the time he heard Sally slipping through the back door, Terry was a wreck. He had too much to carry, and no energy to carry it. He was thankful for the distraction the sound of Sally’s boots coming off in the kitchen. He knew she did it that way to keep the house quiet at night, but he could still hear her padding up the stairs in her wool socks. The higher she went, the more he was trying to pull her into his room with raw willpower. The disappointment he felt as she slid by his door was much worse than he expected. He listened for her door to open and close, and in a burst of irritation, he flopped over on his side and yanked the pillow into position under his head.
Three minutes later, Sally was back. She didn’t knock. She didn’t even wait for an invitation into his bed. She simply threw herself down next to him and said, “I know you’re awake.”
“I am now.”
“You were before,” she said.
“Yeah, I was,” Terry replied. “I was hoping you would stop by sooner.”
“I wouldn’t get in your bed in the clothes I was wearing. I wouldn’t even get in mine.”
“Well, I’m glad you came back.”
“Me too. I’m not sure I can sleep,” Sally said, rolling on her side to face him and brushing her fingers along his jawline.
Terry pushed his arm under her neck and wrapped it around her shoulder. His hand came to rest in the middle of her back. He felt better immediately. Sally melted into him until their lips were just inches apart. He was more distracted by the vibrant sensation of the entire length of her body pressed against his.
“I killed people,” she said.
“I was thinking the same thing before you got here, about me. You all right?”
“I guess so. I can’t stop thinking about it. They were there, and I couldn’t think of anything except aiming and pulling the trigger. Then they were gone. It’s not like killing a deer. They were people and now they’re...”
“Yeah, I know,” Terry said softly.
“Is it worth it?” she asked, barely above a whisper.
“I think it is, but that doesn’t make it any easier,” he replied just as quietly.
“Yeah. I know there’s more coming. I hope I can do it again,” she said.
“I’m new to all this, but I think it’s just the price we have to pay, keeping it all forever, you know?”
“The price for what?” Sally asked with tears beginning to well up.
“For the safety of everyone we love and everything they’ve built. For everything we hope to build in the future.”
“When you say it like that, it almost seems like a fair trade,” she said.
“I have to believe it is, just like your father does, your mother does. Even Kirk thinks that killing is a hard trade.”
“He told you that?”
“Yes, and after he told me, I think his trade has been the hardest one of all.”
“I always thought he just liked it,” Sally said wiping her face with her free hand.
Terry just shook his head, and leaned in to give her a soft kiss on the lips. For a second, it felt a little unfair to kiss her in her upset state, but she began to kiss him back. He felt an electric thrill run through his body, a strange circuit closing with hers. If he had been just bit more rested, it would have worked in the predictable way, but on that night, all it did was flush the pain from his system. Sally must have felt something similar. She pulled back with a look of surprise, and he brushed her copper hair back from her eyes. The simple act settled her face into relaxation. By the third stroke of his fingers, Sally was asleep. Terry was right behind her.
Chapter 10 – 6
The morning began with panic. Sometime during the short night, Terry and Sally had both ended up under the covers. When Bill opened the door, Terry’s mind realized the predicament and snapped his eyes open. Bill had enough time to know that anything could be happening under those covers and to see the look of guilty shock on Terry’s face before he said, “Oh, geeze,” and slammed the door shut.
The door woke Sally, and Terry looked at her like he had literally been caught stealing pies. She looked back at him with an expression of pure calmness. She smiled and slid out from under the covers. In her ankle length cotton gown, she marched right out the door, and Terry could see her giving her father a kiss on the cheek before she turned right and went to her room.
“Uh, Terry. If you’ve got a minute...” Bill said through the open door.
“Be right there, sir!”
“No hurry. Any time in the last five minutes will be fine,” Bill said.
Terry was back in the same clothes from yesterday. He found Bill sitting in his study at the bottom of the stairs. No way to sneak past. Terry braced himself for the inevitable.
“Have a seat, Terry.”
Oh shit. “Yessir.”
“I was all ready to get fired up about what I just saw,” Bill said with a stern expression.
“I’m... Uh...” Terry replied.
“But the look on your face,” Bill said starting to laugh. “The look...” And then the laughter took over, Bill was slapping his knee, and tears were streaming down his face. He laughed until Aggie showed up to see what the commotion was about.
“Stop torturing the boy,” she said. “He knows where the boundaries are.”
Bill snorted a few times and struggled to get himself under control. “Oh, I can see that. I think his are tighter than ours.” Bill was still chuckling on the edge of hysterical laughter.
“If you keep going, I’m going to tell him about that time in Sally Bean’s barn, and I won’t leave out the really embarrassing parts.” Aggie said, glowering at her husband.
That made Bill stop laughing instantly. Terry needed to hear that story.
“Oh, come on, Aggie. It’s not like I got to torture any boyfriends. She scared ‘em all off before I could.”
“She has good taste,” Aggie said and disappeared into the kitchen.
“Trust that woman to ruin my fun,” Bill muttered. He composed himself and said, “On to business...”
Terry had relaxed about two notches, which was not nearly enough to trust himself to speak.
“Ok, this morning, I want you to play ambassador. Go check on Larry Harris just for moral support, and then head into town and see Jared. Try to get a feel for any groups that may be willing to help us out and point them in our direction. It’s time to find out if we’re in it alone.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Oh, relax. Just to show you it’s all fine, take Sally and Seth and that girl of his,” Bill said.
Terry thought about it. “So, there’s no other reason to take the women?”<
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“Dammit! You’re too smart for your own good. Yes, a pair of pretty faces won’t hurt our cause. Just make sure you keep your eyes open, and don’t get caught. If you hand my little girl over to the Dragons, I will be pissed.”
“Ok, Bill. I’ll be careful.”
“Please do. Now, let’s get some breakfast. I’m not done watching you blush.”
Terry decided to tackle the issue head on. He walked into the kitchen and sat down next to Sally. She was forced to eat left-handed because Terry was holding her right hand under the table. He told her what was on the schedule, and she smiled with the notion. At some point during the meal, Terry decided that Sally was indeed a big part of what made the Carter house feel like home.
Twenty minutes later, Terry was dragging Big Seth off his front porch. “Grab your guns and your girl, Big Man. We’re taking these ladies to town.”
From the look of Suze’s tousled hair, Seth probably didn’t have the same set of boundaries as his friend. When Terry told her the plan, she ducked into the bathroom for ten minutes while Seth argued loudly with his mother. When Suze returned, she was more than presentable. She was lovely, and at least a couple of degrees more feminine in her style than Sally. Sally was tall and lean, all subtlety in her curves. Suze was shorter and more curvaceous, and somehow made the standard Teeny Town clothes look a lot less utilitarian.
The group stopped by the small tent city on the east side of town. They encountered Larry’s son, Gray, almost as soon as they arrived. Terry gave the young man a wave and said, “Hey, Gray. They got you all fixed up?”
“Hi, Terry. Yep, we’re pretty well in the mix now. Me and Tate are working with the guard.”
“Good deal. Is your father around?”
“Yep. I’ll go fetch him,” Gray said, trotting off into the rows of tents.
Larry came back without his son, all smiles and waves. “Hey there, Terry. Hi Seth. Miss Susanna, How are you this morning?”
Everyone spoke at once, and stopped when they realized what they were doing. Terry picked it up. “Larry, this is Bill’s daughter, Sally.”
